Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom or anything therein. No profit was made. Yada yada yada.
Author's Notes: Please keep in mind that this is a parody drabble. The author is not responsible if they have inadvertantly offended you. Please stop reading if you like Gerard and Emmy. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Again, I say, this is a PARODY. Therefore, I am making fun of things. In particular Gerard Butler's portrayal of the Phantom and Emmy Rossum's portrayal of Christine. Therefore, this is satirical. Please keep this in mind.
Christine is a Non-Virginal Ventriloquist
"You're mine!" Erik growled, sounding like the feral dogs that ran the streets above them. "You'll stay here with me and wear non-virginal dresses while fruity dancers pirouette amidst fake flames of doom!" added Erik, adjusting his mask which doubled as a sunburn relief patch.
"I'll stay if you'll let me sing without moving my lips and won't make me go into the water and ruin my non-virginal dress. You must let me visit my dead father who is playing cards with Raoul's parents. They're proud supporters of the opera!" Christine replied, looking as much like a fish as ever.