Chapter 15 – May

It had taken two weeks of intensive testing and biopsies to positively determine where the cancer in his body was, but the doctors had finally been able to diagnose Jonathon with colon cancer. They were concerned because the cancer had gone undetected for a while the cells had begun to metastasize and were slowly spreading through his body. They were certain that with intensive chemotherapy they could kill it all and he would make a full recovery. That's what Jonathon kept telling himself as he now leaned over the toilet for the second time that day trying to hold himself up as another wave of nausea hit.

"Jonathon, are you alright?" Michael called out entering the bathroom in his friend's apartment

"Just peachy…what the hell do you think?" he shouted back

"Okay, calm down, it will pass" he said sitting down on the tub next to him.

When he was finished being sick he allowed Michael to help him up off the floor, rinsed his mouth and went to sit in his chair. He had been going through the chemotherapy for a little over a month now and was looking forward to when it would all be over. He hadn't told Kimberlee yet about the cancer, he didn't want to worry her and have her leave school to come take care of him. Michael had been running things at the opera house while he was on leave so there was nothing to worry about, or so he thought.

Michael had brought in the mail and amongst the bills and junk was a letter from Kim; he smiled as he opened it. Inside was the usual chatter about school, friends, her job and then came the part that would send shockwaves through him.

'Spring break is in two weeks but I'm afraid that I won't be able to come home for a visit, the doctor says I shouldn't be on a plane for that length of time in my condition. I had wanted to tell you in person, to make you understand, but since it appears that won't be happening here goes nothing. Dad…I am pregnant. I'm into my third trimester now and yes, Erik is the father. I don't know exactly what is going through your mind right now but I think I have a pretty good idea. I've considered all the options and decided that I want to keep the baby. I hope that given time you will be happy for me and want to meet your grandchild. I didn't plan this nor did I decide this to punish you in any way. I love you more than I can say and I truly am sorry, but I won't go against my decision to make you happy. I hope that you will understand, please don't punish me for this choice I've made, after all you once had to make the same choice and I'm glad you did.

All my love, Kim'

Jonathon dropped the paper and stared at the wall across from him. He then clenched his fists, breathed in deeply and then shouted, "MICHAEL." Michael came running into the room from the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" he asked anxiously

"How long have you known that MY daughter was pregnant?" he shouted

"What! Calm down Jon before you have a stroke."

"I know she must have told you before me, she always confided in you first" he said calming slightly.

"I couldn't tell you, she asked me not to, and then you got sick…I didn't want you to have any further stress."

"Leave me; I don't want to see you right now."

"Jon…"

"Please Michael, just go. I'll be fine, I need time to think about this."

"Alright, you know where to reach me. I'm sorry Jon."

"I know, I don't blame you."

Michael left Jon alone locking the door behind him.

"I blame myself" he said to no one in particular.

He reached down picking up the letter and re read it. Knowing his daughter as well as he did he believed her when she said she had weighed all the options and made her decision. He placed the letter on his lap and closed his eyes, remembering back to when he had to make the same decision, when he found out he was going to be a father.

'All he could think about was I'm too young for this
Got my whole life ahead
Hell I'm just a kid myself
How'm I gonna raise one

All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast
Oh well, those plans are long gone
And he said

There goes my life
There goes my future, my everything
Might as well kiss it all goodbye
There goes my life

A couple of years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator
Oh yeah…he loves that little girl

Momma's waiting to tuck her in
As she fumbles up those stairs
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls

He smiles…
There goes my life
There goes my future, my everything
I love you, daddy good night
There goes my life'

He and her mother had been the same age as Kimberlee was now when they learned about her. His daughter had been a gift, one that he had never regretted receiving. He enjoyed every moment of her life, watching her grow up and now she would experience that joy for herself. She hadn't mentioned whether or not Erik knew about the baby but he assumed that he did not.

He stood up and went to the mirror looking at his reflection. His face was thin and pale, his eyes slightly dull and he had lost all the hair on his head from the drugs. He decided then and there that hew was going to beat this cancer, that he wouldn't let it take him, at least not until he had seen his grandchild at least once before he died.

On the first day of spring break, Kimberlee woke up at 8:00 and got up to shower. When she reached down the washroom she heard Jason in there, using up all the hot water and singing rather poorly as loudly as possible. He did this almost every morning just to bug her and enjoyed every minute of this torture. This morning however; Kimberlee was not in the playful mood she usually was. She had overslept and if she didn't hurry she was going to be late for work, so she did the only thing she could think of to do. She quietly opened the door, reached over and flushed the toilet. She had to fight to stifle the laughter as Jason screamed in shock.

"Okay, that was just cruel" he called out to her.

"Yeah, but it was fun. Now hurry up, I'm going to be late for work, and if I'm in trouble with the boss then so are you" she said closing the door.

She walked down the hall smiling to herself, pausing to look at her reflection in the mirror. She suddenly noticed that she was starting to really show now, almost overnight and her breasts seemed larger as well, they also ached slightly. She continued into the kitchen seeing Meghan sitting watching Barney on the television. She winced as a sharp pain shot through her body.

"What's wrong?" Jason asked coming into the kitchen behind her

"Oh you know, just a sharp pain shooting through my chest. The only nice thing about being pregnant right now is that at least I gained a cup size" she joked turning to face him.

She almost dropped her coffee cup, Jason was standing in front of her with nothing more than a towel and a smile on. His light almond coloured skin glistened from the drops of water still beaded on his very muscular chest. They had beenrooming together for almost three months now and she had never thought of him as anything other than a friend, but she was suddenly seeing him in another way 'it must be the hormones' she thought to herself.

"That happens, the pain I mean," he said going to the cupboard for a mug. "That's your body preparing to make milk for the baby"

"Right, the doctor said something about that."

"Anyway, the shower's all yours…and I won't flush the toilet on you" he whispered in her ear.

"No, you'll just send Meghan to do it" she whispered back smiling.

They were now facing each other, their faces mere inches apart. Jason so desired to close the gap between them; he had wanted to kiss her since that first day they met, but Erik still held her heart and he didn't want to confuse her. He would only kiss her whenhe felt she was ready.He stepped back allowing her to pass him; he was a patient man, he could wait for her to let him into her heart.