Chapter 9

'Going Home'

Oh, why did she look? Simone sensed that it was Lauren that had sent it but she couldn't stop herself. When Lauren had suggested it would ruin her relationship with Ethan she didn't believe it. So why did she look? Why didn't she simply ignore the damn text message?

It wasn't that Simone expected the newscast to turn Ethan against her but that didn't mean that she was fine with her life's history being made public. And it wasn't that her past was so scandalous but over her lifetime she's managed to pile up a rather immense mountain of mistakes. Hell. Anyone's life would look bad if you stacked all of their mistakes one on top of each other like that. And that is what Lauren had done. She had highlighted every painful error in judgment Simone had ever made and glossed over all of her accomplishments. Lauren made her contribution to Fusion look like nothing more than a minor footnote and then Lauren went onto imply that it was her relationship with Ethan that helped her get where she was in the company.

Simone dropped into the bath to completely submerge herself. Unable to hold her breath any longer Simone was forced to break the surface and sit back up when she heard the door handle turn. She knew that Ethan was trying to fix things but she could tell by his expression that it had not gone well. Ethan looked guarded and upset. Closing her eyes she tried to think about what she would say. But all that she could think of was that awful newscast replaying in her mind where her own thoughts should be.

After turning on the CD player Ethan sat by the tub and reached for the handheld showerhead to wet Simone's hair. As Ethan gently rubbed the shampoo into her long raven tresses Simone sighed and leaned back as he gently massaged her scalp. Simone couldn't help but notice that Ethan was careful, starting at the roots and working his way to the ends. And with a passing thought Simone bitterly acknowledged that this was probably not the first time he'd done this for a woman.

He rinsed her hair and took a wide toothcomb to brush out the tangles and then he simply slid into the bath behind her and drew her to his chest. Utterly undone, Simone started to cry and her tears completely caught her off guard. She was just so overwhelmed by how easily he was able to show he cared about her. And yet it made her inexplicably sad that she couldn't remember feeling so loved. The last time? Was there anyone else? Ever? Not her father and certainly no man she'd ever involved herself with before had made her feel this way and the thought hit her like a fist to her heart.

She was sad for what she had never had and frightened for what she now stood to lose. Unable to stop herself, Simone's past came pouring out in a rush. She told him of her distant disapproving father and the men she became involved with that were just variations of her relationship with her father. Men like Smythe and her professor at NYU. The harder she struggled to control her emotions the more it racked at her soul. She wept until she was sleepy from it. The whole time Ethan just held her and shushed her, gently stroking her exposed skin as she buried her face into his chest and wept.

Ethan understood her grief all too well. He was no stranger to what it was like to feel isolated, lonely, lost, unwanted, uncared for…unloved. He knew what it took her to share her history with him and he resisted the temptation to talk about his own past with her. While it might give her comfort, he didn't want to make this about him. She was hurting and he didn't want her to be distracted with his demons.

Taking a large soft sponge Ethan began to gently wash her back. Concentric motions that started small and gradually expanded. He washed the entire surface of her flesh methodically and lavishly until Simone was limp and drowsy. Noticing her soft yawn. Ethan stood from the tub wrapped himself with a towel and then taking another he lifted Simone and draped it over her.

They hadn't had much sleep the night before. By the time they got back to the room it was past midnight. Brief bits of sleep interrupted by bursts of lovemaking. He probably would have slept later this morning had Simone not left his side. Right now she looked so tired he wanted to tuck her right back into bed but the food was at the door. Realizing that it must have been since she had a real meal Ethan went to the cart laden with chafing dishes and opened one. "Simone, I know you're sleepy but you have to eat."

"Please. You have it. I just want to go back to sleep." Simone insisted tugging at his hand as she tried to break away and get into bed.

But Ethan wouldn't take no for an answer and he sat Simone on his lap. "I'll hand feed you if I have too."

Confronted by the aroma of the hot coffee and the warm maple syrup for the pancakes Simone realized how hungry she really was. Sliding from his lap and sitting next to him she sighed, "Oh, all right but you better eat something too."

Smiling Ethan took the chafing dish closet to him and replied, "I'm starving!" Looking inside Ethan looked stunned, "What? I don't remember ordering that. Do you like oatmeal?"

"Not unless it's in a cookie." Simone said so sincerely that Ethan laughed. Seeing Ethan smile lightened her heart and she found herself eager to eat. Putting the lid back on the oatmeal Ethan rummaged around a bit until he found an egg white omelet and sighed in satisfaction. They ate in silence nearly devouring the contents of the cart entirely. Thoroughly satiated Simone was only sleepier than before. Standing Ethan took her by the hand and led her to bed.

Simone slept nestled close to Ethan's heart while Ethan held her and berated himself for not listening to her earlier. She told him that the woman hated her and that things were going to get bad. But he allowed himself to get distracted. Why didn't he stop to consider that bitch would go after Simone?

Damn it all to hell! Ethan mused as he tried to slow his racing heart and clear his mind. He knew he was doing more for Simone by staying with her while Harold and Zach handled things on the outside but he felt like a cad just lying in bed while her world was crashing in all around her. His hands clenched in frustration and Simone stirred in her sleep. Forcing himself to relax and to concentrate Ethan mimicked the pattern of her breathing until he eventually fell asleep.

Simone lay on her side watching him sleep. As Ethan slept all of his features relaxed and he looked like a boy. She smiled and lightly touched his cheek. Tracing her fingertips across his face and lightly caressing his neck Ethan smiled in his sleep. And then he snored a little. Just a little but Simone almost laughed and not wanting to wake him she got out of bed and crossed the floor to the window.

The slight motion was enough to wake Ethan with a start. Simone was gone. Again. As his eyes came into focus he saw her standing by the window. "Simone?"

"Hey sleepyhead. Come on; let's get out of here. It's gorgeous outside."

"Simone?" the confusion on Ethan's face was evident.

"Ethan." Simone teased.

"Did I miss something?" Ethan yawned.

"Well I have been up for about an hour." Simone replied. She shook her head as she noticed him glance at the TV. "No. I haven't looked." Simone continued, "I've had some time to think though. I get 15 min of fame and I'm not going to spend it in here hiding from everyone. If I'm hiding it will just make it easier for them to spin my life into something ugly. I'm not ashamed of my life Ethan and I'm not going to make it easy on Lauren. I don't intend on being her victim."

"You sure you want to go out?"

"I do. Take a look Ethan. It's gorgeous out there." Simone pulled the curtain back an inch and Ethan gasped.

"Simone! My God! Put some clothes on!"

"Are you sure you want me to do that?" Simone grinned.

"If you're going to be standing in front of an open window I am."

"Ethan, I only opened it a smidge." Simone chided him. "I just wanted to let you see how sunny it is outside."

"Just move away from the window Simone. Why don't you come over here and tell me what you want to do today? The day is yours." Ethan yawned.

Simone looked over at the gorgeous naked man in the bed. He was lazily stretching, totally unaware of how damned sexy he looked with his hair all tousled from sleep. Smiling gently Simone went to him, "The day is mine? To do with what I want?"

"Just tell me." Ethan nodded. "You want to take a helicopter to the beach? Or NYC? A play? Dancing?" Ethan asked and then said in a rush, "Please, please don't say dancing."

"No work today?" Simone asked as she straddled Ethan's hips and smiled down at him.

"No work."

"Your all mine?" Simone wriggled in pleasure, her mind fast at work.

"To do with as you please." Ethan grinned.

"If I told you I wanted to…."Simone bent close to Ethan's ear and whispered something softly into his ear.

"Well, if I do that we might never get out of here." Ethan drew Simone up into his strong arms, his large hands spanning her waist and kissed her softly.

"I'll be right back." Simone whispered and ran to the CD player.

As she chose a CD from his collection Ethan rummaged through a drawer and pulled a pair of jeans over his naked form. Queuing up the music Simone turned to him, breathless at the sight of the handsome man that loved her. Still sleepy he had that soft sexy smile that lit up his eyes and made her heart melt. Ethan stood, hair tousled, barefoot, and shirtless his dark patch of hair just below his waist still visible below his unbuttoned, half-zippered jeans. To Simone he looked perfect. He looked like home. And as he reached for her, his hand open, arm outstretched so they could slow dance to the music Simone chose for them, she made up her mind.

"Ethan?" Simone closed her eyes and rested her cheek on his bare chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hooked the back of his jeans with her thumbs.

"Mmmhmmm?" Ethan held her softly in his arms; absently his own hands gently caressing her exposed back.

"I love you." She whispered quietly.

"I know." Ethan held her close and kissed the top of her head afraid to break the spell, "I know you do. I love you too."

"I know."

http/media. David Gray
Album: White Ladder
Title: This Year's Love

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right, oh now
Start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife, oh now
If you love me got to know for sure
'Cause it takes something more this time
Than sweet, sweet lies, oh now
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
When you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

'Cause whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
Won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last…

Chapter 10 'Depraved But Not Indifferent'

Ethan and Simone stall before coming out of hiding to face PV together.