As usual, thanks for all the reviews, they're lovely to read! Enjoy... ( I hope!)
Grissom lay in bed staring upwards, counting the lines in the wood panelled ceiling above him. Counting the rings in a tree trunk could tell you how old it was, but he doubted the same was true of the planks that had been used in his home. Not least because they were synthetic. But it beat counting sheep.
He sighed and rolled over, burying his head so deeply in the pillow he could hardly breathe. At least it blocked the light. He had tried every kind of curtain he could find but none seemed thick enough to rid his bedroom of the midday sunlight he had to sleep in spite of. You'd think there were enough people who worked night shifts for someone to make curtains for them. There was a gap in the market there. Maybe one day, when he had more time outside of work, he'd do something about it himself.
That day seemed far too far away right now. For the moment there were far too many bodies to be dealt with in Las Vegas for Gilbert Grissom to give up his day (or should that be night) job. There had been a time when he hadn't wanted to. When even on the darkest day there had been that one face that had brightened his spirits. Yet now even she seemed to be fading.
Sara Sidle. That fascinating, enchanting creature. They both knew there had been ulterior motives for his asking her to join the team in Las Vegas. Their relationship had been complicated. There were unresolved feelings there. He had treated her badly, he knew, when she had made attempts to bridge the emotional gap between them. But no matter what he did, how he treated her, she had always been there in the end, the one person he could always rely on. He cared for her and she cared for him, even if they didn't say it aloud.
But now – now it were as though she had given up. He couldn't blame her. How long did he expect her to hang on whilst he refused to acknowledge they were anything but friends? There was no one responsible except him. But it still hurt.
And today when she had turned up late she had barely acknowledged him. Which had only annoyed him further and made him act like a moody teenager. And now here he was lying in bed reliving events over and over again; imagining how he could have played it differently. It really was like a teenage relationship.
He rolled over again, screwed his eyes shut and tried to sleep. Maybe the sheep would have to do.
"Two nights in a row – do you think she's ok?"
Grissom shrugged, determined to keep his cool unlike yesterday. "I'm sure she'll be here. It's only-" he glanced at his watch. "Ok, so it's been an hour. Maybe we should call her again."
Nick got out his mobile and dialled. "No. It's going to voicemail."
"Maybe we should get going without her." As much as it hurt, Grissom acknowledged the fact that his interests in Sara had to be purely professional. Whatever her reasons for not turning up, he would have to wait to hear them.
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"There's something odd going on. She's been acting strangely recently."
"Really?" Another blow. He had been so wrapped up in his own moping recently he had barely noticed anything but the fact Sara was treating him differently. "How?"
"Just – she's not been herself."
"So what do you propose we do?"
"I think we should go round to her apartment."
"Is that wise? Sara wouldn't take kindly to meddling."
"And if she's not ok?"
"Fine." Grissom was persuaded.
Less than thirty minutes later they were knocking on Sara's apartment door for the third time.
"Look, Nick, she's not in."
"She's not here, but she's not at work? So what's going on?"
"I don't know. But I do know we have to leave it to Sara to tell us."
"Yeah, I guess." Nick turned away, but a moment later turned back again. "No, I can't do it." He drew a set of keys from his pocket and shuffled through them before settling on one and opening the door.
"Nick! What the hell are you doing?"
"Sara gave me the spare key. For emergencies. And I judge this to be an emergency."
"How exactly did you come to that conclusion?"
But Grissom got no reply. Nick had already headed into the apartment. Sighing, he followed, shutting the door behind him. Sara was nowhere to be seen.
"Look Nick, she's not here. So we should go."
Nick looked defeated. "I suppose so."
Just then the phone in the apartment began to ring. Both men turned to look, unsure of how to react. After only one ring it clicked on to answer phone. Feeling as though they were completely invading Sara's privacy, yet somehow unable to move, the two men listened to the message that followed.
"Ms Sidle, this is Annette Lawler, Doctor Baker's secretary. I'm just calling to let you know that you left your purse here. I know you've only just left but we didn't want you to worry. We'll keep it here, just pop round to collect it when you have a moment."
"The doctor's?" Nick queried. "What was Sara doing at the doctor's?"
"Why don't you ask me that question to my face?"
Nick and Grissom spun round to see Sara standing in the doorway. Her face was red with anger.
"On second thoughts why don't you answer my question first? Like what the hell do you think you're doing in my apartment!"
Nick glanced at Grissom, but words seemed to be failing him. "I-I mean we-we were worried," Nick eventually stammered, unable to look a furious Sara in the eye.
"Worried? Because I didn't turn up to work on one day?"
"You have to admit it's unlike you."
Sara did not look about to admit anything. "If you'd bothered to check, you would have discovered that I called the lab to say I wouldn't be in today. And anyway, since when did common concern give you the right to break into my apartment!"
"We didn't break in. I used the spare key."
"That was for emergencies, Nick!"
"For all we knew, this was an emergency!"
"Oh, come on. I was an hour late for work."
"An hour and a half actually," Grissom cut in, with his first words since Sara's entry. She did not look impressed.
"Well, now you've seen that I'm not in dire need of rescuing, perhaps you could leave. Next time I want a day off, I'll make sure I contact you each personally. Ok?"
"Sara, please." Nick approached her, distressed by the bitterness in her voice. He had never seen her this angry; this full of hatred.
"Get out." She marched to the front door and held it open for them, leaving them with no option but to do what she said.
It was only once they were half way down the stairs that they realised they still didn't know why Sara had been at the doctor's.
The minute she had slammed the door behind them, Sara felt the tears run down her cheeks. The pain of her leg, now treated and bandaged by the doctor, paled into insignificance when compared to the betrayal she now felt. They had no right to come into her home; to invade her personal space. Especially now, now when-
When what? She asked herself. They knew nothing. To them life was still the same as it had been last week. They were oblivious to the ruins that Sara's life was in.
But they still had no right to barge in like that. She felt the anger take over again as her tears subsided. And she was all too well aware that she hadn't answered their question.
She sat down slowly. Realisation was beginning to dawn on her. She couldn't go on like this. Today was just the start. Ok, so there were a million excuses she could make for a trip to the doctor. But what about when her own lies tripped her up? When she had a bad day? When one day, in an awful, heartfelt moment, she confessed exactly what had happened? Being around friends was too dangerous. If she let someone too close then it was only a matter of time before the truth slipped out. And once that had happened there was no turning back No pretending it hadn't happened. She would have to face up to it. And she couldn't cope with that. There was no way she could let that happen. And there was only one way she could stop it. She had to leave.