--- What She Goes Through ---
I could feel the heat of the sun warm my face as I slowly opened my eyes to the bright morning. After yawning and wiping the sleep from my eyes, I gathered all my strength to sit up and stare out the open window. It was finally Friday and the weekend would be here soon. I could here people walking around outside and children playing on the beach. It was mid-summer and the hottest days of Dublith were here and hopefully would fade away soon. By high noon, it would reach at least one hundred degrees if not more.
After rolling off the bed, I made my way to the bathroom where I allowed the cold water to run down my back and lull me back to sleep. The soft aroma of fresh coffee and an annoying beeping sound dragged me back to earth as I shut down the water and wrapped up in a hand towel. Once in the bedroom, I stopped and watched myself in the mirror behind the door. I hated how I am. I turn to the side and frown at how small my figure is. Sure I make all the woman in Dublith jealous of my size, but if only they knew what I did to get this small, they might be happier to be themselves.
After searching through my closet, I decide to wear my traveling outfit. It's too hot for tee shirts and my tank top is in the wash. After the duster is buttoned up and pants are on, I make my way downstairs to shut down the beeping coffee maker. I pull my cup from the dish drain and pour myself some. I note the back door is opened and the screen door is closed. Sig must of already gone to the shop. After downing half of my cup, I walk from the kitchen, slid into my sandals and step outside. The local children all run past chasing a ball and they wave.
"Morning sensei!"
They all call out to me as they run past. I wave and smile. Ever since the Elrics brother became my students four years ago and the children over heard them calling me sensei, they all started it. Now I'm known as sensei by all local children. After the children are gone, I sip my coffee and start off the back porch into the grass which is nice and cold, and needs to be cut. I feel like someone is watching me so I turn to face Yock Island. To my right I see from the corner of my eye Mrs. Memmoral watching me as she shakes off a rug over her porch. She's shaking her head and giving me an evil glare. She is the size of any woman who has five children and her short hair is starting to gray early. After she finished wiping the dust from her old faded house dress, she went back inside to yell at her children.
I know why she never liked me. Her husband is your typical working man. He makes the money and expects her to raise babies and to keep the house clean. My husband however, never asks a thing of me. And I'm the smallest and cleanest looking twenty-nine year old wife in Dublith. After shrugging off her evilness, I turn to my left and head around the house to the town square. The sound of a bell rings as I watch Mrs. Seggerka leave with her three little brats who broke a window last week with a baseball. I smile sweetly at the old hag who my feelings of hate are as equal towards her as she has towards me. I look into the shop and see Sig standing behind the counter, eyes closed lost in thought. Before he gets too many ideas in that head of his, I open the door and approach.
He must not of heard me enter because he is still zoned out. I stand behind him and placed my free hand on his shoulder and gently run my hand down his arm. Since I'm his height, it doesn't take much for me to kiss his cheek. He opens his eyes and looks at me. I smile at him and move around to the front.
"Morning sig."
"Morning love."
After we share a morning kiss like every day, I leaned on the edge of the counter and stare into my coffee cup. I'm the only wife ever allowed to be in their families' shop. I guess thats just the way Sig wants it. He prefers having me around. I open my mouth to ask him about this weekend and if we could take a short trip when I hear the door open and the bell ring. I smile at Sig and leave the shop. The man holds the door open and I thank him as I disappear from sight, back to the house. The children are still chasing that ball as I approach the house. Placing my cup on the edge of the porch, I step across the yard to our wooden boat which I start to push out into the water.
"Hello sensei."
A little boy with a missing front tooth runs past as he joins his friends. He's rounder and slower then the other kids, but he can pack a punch. She's found herself stopping his little fights in her back yard more then the boy's own mother. But it's mainly to prevent more blood shed in my yard, I can fill the grass with blood fine by myself thank you.
After he is gone, I continue to push the boat into the water then hop inside. I never need to row much, I'm light enough that the wind and waves do all the work. One push from the shore with the ore and I'm sailing across the mile long lake. I lay down in the boat and stare up at the blue sky. Thankfully there are some clouds, don't need to worry about burning. Thats the other thing I hate about myself. I don't tan, I burn. The sudden stopping told me I reached my destination. Sitting up I turn and see Yock Island, the island which my boat just crashed into. Doing a quick back flip, I land on the shore with no problem and then abandon the boat, heading deep into the trees. I walk into the trees and disappear from anyone's sight.
Finding a shady spot next to an old tree, I sit down and pull out my book which was resting under a rock. Thankfully it didn't rain. I forgot this here last month. As I flip through the book, my eyes suddenly feel heavy. I guess I haven't gotten much sleep lately. All this worrying of the brothers. Before long, I feel myself drift asleep as my book falls from my hands onto the ground.
In my dream, I'm walking across the beach following a small boy with short black hair. He kicks a ball and chases after it, kicking it back to me. Before it hits my leg, he runs back and kicks it back again. He continues this for a while until he tires and comes back to me. He smiles up at me with a missing tooth grin. He reached up and grabs my hand and pulls me down to his level. I kneel in front of him and smile. My abdomen is pushed against my legs, but for the first time in ten years, it doesn't hurt. I feel whole.
"Know what mommy..."
He begins and these words cause me to stare shocked at the boy. Did he just call me his mother. But apon closer look, I notice he looks just like a younger Sig only with violet eyes, not green. Smiling, I enjoy having a son and figure this must be real, how could it not me. Brushing sand from his face I smile at him.
"What...?"
I ask, as he opens his mouth to reply... I wake up.
I open my eyes and look around. It's dark out now. I must of slept for hours. But, I feel refreshed and full of energy. I look across the island and can make out house lights through the trees. Using these as a guide, I walk back to the shore. There is no moon, but millions of stars. I bend down to the sand and rake my hand across it. The sand is white and very soft. I look up from the sand and see my house is lit up. In the doorway I watch as a large shadow blocks the light. I wait a moment more before I smile and rise to my feet. I don't move, but I know he understand I'm on my way. A breeze blows by and I head to the boat. He walks back into the house.
I load myself into the boat, this time with my book, and push off. The water splashes against the bottom as I float across. The wind pulls be to the shore where I step out and pull the boat onto the sand. I can smell dinner in the air. If it is mine or not, I don't know. All the houses are cooking. I pull out my book and place the ores inside. As I start across the sand, the image before me does a flip. I stumble and place my hand on my head. What the hell was that?
I shake my head and walk further to the house. I step onto the grass and into the pool of light. As I'm about to step onto the porch, another dizzy spell comes over me.
No, I can't do this. The day was great. Please don't do this. I think to myself. I stumble backwards and put of the light. The sent of food fills my nose and makes me feel sick. A sudden urge to cough consumes me as I place my other hand on my stomach. I cough up a good amount of blood. The pain is unbelievable. Little daggers pierce my body from my abdomen all the way up my spine. I swallow some of the copper tasting liquid in my mouth and try to walk again. I need to get inside.
Sig help me please... I want to call into him but I can't find my voice. I open my cough and I start coughing again. This time, I fall to my knees, one hand holding me up. The pain is intense. The little daggers have turned to large knives. The stabbing pain is stronger and harder as I cough up more blood. I can feel the blood rushing around my head and pounding my temple. My throat is sore from the blood as it continues to come.
Sig please... help... I bed in my mind. I hear foot steps rushing to the door. More blood spills from my mouth as I feel like my abdomen is about to cave in... or explode. The pain is so bad I don't know what is happening any more. My head starts to spin as the blurry image of Sig in the doorway slowly turns to black. I feel myself falling forward and the last thing I know I'm landing in my own blood. Darkness consumes me.
I'm dreaming again. That little boy, my son, is still holding my hand. His smile fades and tears form in his eyes. Releasing my hand, he backs away. Our surroundings disappear and turn black. Quickly, surrounding up is Yock Island. I look to where he is standing and see he is right on the transmutation rocks I used ten years ago. I reach out to him, my legs wont move.
"Get away from there. It's dangerous. Come here."
I beg him. A quick pain in my abdomen strikes me hard . What happened to the wholeness. It's gone, I feel empty inside. I look over at my son as he stand, tears falling in the middle of the rocks. The array was gone but slowly I watch as it appears, line by line. The way I drew I slowly forms onto the rocks. I try to smile as I fight the tears welding up inside of me. I swallow what tastes like blood as he stares at me. He turns from me and does a double three-sixty spin. When he stops spinning, he has long stringy hair and is wearing no clothes. He stars at me with bright violet eyes. The array starts to glow. Behind him the closed Gate appears. Fear rushing into my heart. I reach out to him again. The Gate slowly opens and those eyes stare me down. The one larger eye widens as my son just stares at me with a sad look. Then, millions of black arms reach out and wrap him. He turns to face the gate and he crys out. Looking back at me.
"Mommy help me!"
I reach further to him, my legs finally moving. I crawl at first then break into a run once I'm on my feet. The arms pull him in as I get closer. He calls out to me again as I reach for his hand. But I can't reach him. No matter how hard I run, the pain is too much inside of me and the Gate's arms are too quick. The Gate closes shut as I reach it. I slam my body into it and pound on the door. Scream at it to give me back my son. I hear my name called and I turn around. Standing behind me is Sig. He looks at me with a disappointed look. I turn around to the Gate and it's gone. So is the island. I start to cry and reach out to Sig to help me as I start coughing. I fall down to my knees as he walks away from me. I continue to call to him... Then I woke up.
I sit up and look around. I'm back in my room and the sun is bright as ever. I move my wrist and feel pain. Looking down I see it's wrapped up. I place it on my abdomen and look to the door. I hear foot steps as a quick sharp pain races through me. As soon as Sig appears, the pain is gone. He walks over to me and hands me my medication after pulling up a chair.
"How do you feel?"
"Better thank you."
I swallow the pills and drink down the glass of water. My eyes wander outside. The sound of children. My dream comes back to me as the glass slowly tips. The image of my son smiling at me pulls at my heart.
"Izumi..."
I shake my head and lower the glass to my lap.
"Do you need anything?"
"No thank you."
I try to smile. Sig suffers each time this happens. How could I of been so stupid. I know he knows why I am is sick, even if he don't fully understand everything. I know he knows my spasms are coming closer and closer, meaning my life is shortening ever more quickly. Silence fills the room as I feel his hands place gently on my leg. I look over at him and he is staring at his hands. I want to cry. I wish I could stop all this and stop him from hurting. He loves me so much and I put him through all of this all the time.
"Sig..."
I call to him and place my left hand over his. I feel the rings connect as I intertwine my fingers in his. With my other hand, I brush his cheek and then lift his chin. Forcing him to look at me. I try to smile again but fail. so I lean my head on his chest. I feel his arms wrap behind me as I pull myself out of the covers and into his arms. I want this moment to last forever, but I remember there is someone else I need to protect. Those brothers. I lean away from him as the memory of my question from yesterday comes back.
I smile at him and try to push this away. My eyes are half open and I know they are no longer bright as they were the day we wed. He stands up and try to smile.
"Up for some food?"
He asks as he gives me my hand. I smile and take his hand.
"Only if you cook."
I smile as he helps me from the bed. I dress quickly in a tee shirt and pants, kicking the blood soaked duster into the corner. It's ruined, but thankfully I have others. He leaves the room and I follow. I may have to suffer for a few more years, but at least I wont suffer alone.
"By the way Sig, I need to take a trip..."
A/N - This is my idea of how much she suffers physically and emotionally.
Please review. No FLAMES (Thats Roy's job only). Please look in my profile ooOAnimeChildOoo for all my other stories. And again, thanks for reading.
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever"
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