Author's Notes: Hah! Forget school! This was my full-out lazy time! . No... Actually, I was writing a fic for a different anime, but that didn't turn out very well. I owe it up to my reviewers to update, and I'm sorry! I hope that I satisfy you with the last chapter of this fic. Oh, and 'A New Kind of Fairy Tale' will have a new chapter released when I find that stupid file I wrote it on.
Oh... I'm sorry about what I did to Tai. I know that it wasn't right, but I was writing this fic based on what happened to someone at school. It was just to let out my thoughts on that person and their messed-up life. Fortunately for Tai, he's a fictional character, and his life can still be turned the right side up. Also, fortunately for him, I'm an author who just loves happy endings.
a-Leng: Grr... the rating PG-13 is really spread out at the top left corner of the screen isn't it? Haha... well... so far, all my fics are rated PG-13, so yeah, . It's okay, I miss A LOT of things too. It was rated PG-13 all along. .
I'm sorry!
Enjoy!
Please review in the end!!!
My High School Love Life
Part Five
A New Revelation
Well graduation sucked. My grades sucked, my relationships with girls sucked and basically, I screwed around with my life, so that sucked too. The only thing that was good that came out of it was the fact that Matt needed a song writer, because the last one he hired... yes... hired... wanted to get a raise. He of course dropped him, and Sora recommended me to him, and he couldn't refuse his girlfriend, so he obliged.
During graduation, Matt and his band played practically all the songs that I wrote, and some old ones too. It was a lame night, but one good thing came out of it.
You see, there was this music producer who heard that there was a teenage band that was popular around Odaiba and he heard that they were playing during our high school graduation, so he decided to come and watch. When he heard all the songs being played, and the band that was playing it, he immediately became interested.
The next day, he called everyone who had to do with the band at that present time, to come to his office. What we didn't know was the he was the music producer of one of the most popular music labels. He immediately wanted to start the recordings of the songs. Everything was great... all great... For Matt that is.
A year after this happened, 'The Wolves' as the band was called, became popular all over Japan and other areas of Asia. I was still the writer of their songs, so I was payed a great amount of money too... but I was still the 'man behind the scenes', just like how I was with Sora.
I had stopped my crazy relationships with all those women because I just realized that no matter what, nothing could ever replace the emptiness inside of me that was without Sora. I loved her. Her and only her. No matter how many nights I spent with someone, no matter how much time I tried to spend with someone to get to know them, they weren't Sora, so I could never be happy.
She was happy with Matt, as I could see. At least in my eyes, she was. I just wanted her to be happy. Like Mimi told me before: I cared more about the other people in my life rather than myself... Up until I started ruining my reputation of course, but that stopped.
"I think today's the day Tai..." Matt told me one day, as the band was lounging inside of this expensive hotel in Kyoto, where the band had a gig that night.
"What day?" I asked confused. Sheesh, if a guy's gonna say something as vague as that, might as well not say anything at all, or back it up with an explanation or something.
He turned to me, with this bright smile on his face, and he jumped off the bed to sit right in front of me. As I watched him, he pulled out a small, black, velvet box... and I instantly knew what he meant.
There was silence for a second between us, until he opened the box.
"See this?" he said excitedly, like some giddy little school boy. The ring shone with the light that cascaded through the porch blinds.
I looked at it half-heartedly. This was it. This was the day that I would officially lose Sora. "Yeah man..." I said, forcing my tone to be normal.
"I'm planning to ask Sora to marry me today, during the concert," he said, as he snapped the box closed. "I can't believe I'm gonna do this... I mean, we're only nineteen for kami sake, but still... Ya know? We've been together for so long..." he sighed.
I just stared at him, not knowing how to act in a situation like this.
"I mean, I know that she's been saving herself up for marriage and everything which makes everything better."
I gave him a strange look right then. "What do you mean? Haven't you been saving yourself up for her too?"
Matt looked at me as if I just said the most insane thing ever. "Of course not! Dude, with all those girl's following my band around during high school... who could resist?"
I must have looked like such an idiot right then and there because my mouth was hanging wide open. He and Sora had been going out since sophomore year and I knew that Matt had more morals than to sleep with girls when he was as young as a freshman, and I also knew that he wasn't sleeping with girls when he was a sophomore. He wasn't going out with Sora during the first half, and he and I were still very good friends then, so he would have told me.
That could only mean one thing...
"You were cheating on Sora..." What I said came out to be more like a statement rather than a question. I was so shocked...
I could barely hear Matt telling me that he had cheated on her, but I vaguely blocked that out. I couldn't think, move, or speak. What was I supposed to think? Do? Say? I knew that I was Sora's best friend, but during the year since I was hired as Matt's song writer, we became really good friends again.
Just then, I snapped when I heard him say how no one ever knew about it. "It was during senior year when I thought 'The hell with it! It's my last year as a high schooler!'" he explained. "So I did... But it was all during that same time when you were sleeping with other girls, exclusively. Your story was much more popular 'cause no one would've ever thought that you innocent, wacko Kamiya, would do anyone before marriage... but you did! Of course, the school would have already thought that the leader of a band would eventually have sex, so I wasn't mentioned... I forgot to thank you for that, by the way Tai. I mean, if it weren't for you, the story on me would have been big, and Sora would have dumped me!"
I glared at him for a second before I stood up and walked out of the door.
I wouldn't hit him. I couldn't hit him. It was partially my fault that Sora didn't realize what a cheating bastard Matt was.
I was blindly walking through the sidewalks, and I wasn't watching where I was going. I bumped into so much people, but eventually, I crashed into someone and we both fell over.
The next thing I know, I'm kneeling over, looking below me, at a pair of confused, ruby colored eyes.
"Sora...? Oh! Sora! Oh, crap... I'm sorry!" I said, immediately standing up and helping her up onto her feet.
She blinked a little bit and tried to set her mind straight, then she looked over at me and smiled. "Tai! Hey! I was just going over to the hotel to say 'hi' to everyone," she said.
"Funny... I was just thinking about you too..."
"What were you doing out here, walking as if you were blind?" she laughed.
Gods, I loved her voice. I loved her laugh... No... I loved her. Sora: the whole deal. I shook my head out of these thoughts, temporarily, and looked over at her again. "Just decided to walk..." I lied. "I was concentrating on how much steps it took for me to get to the park and back to the hotel, so I decided to be ignorant and not look where I was going," I continued.
"Ahh... I see..." she nodded. "Mind if I help you count then?" she asked.
I happily agreed, so for those past couple hours before the The Wolves concert, she and I talked about unimportant events, and our childhood, and that summer after our freshman year.
I couldn't speak to Matt. I didn't want to, but he didn't seem bothered by it. He still asked Sora to marry him during the concert and she... well...
"Before I sing this song, which by the way, goes out to my one and only, Sora..." I rolled my eyes at this, "I want to ask her something very important!" Matt said, during the middle part of the concert. The whole crowd was apprehensive as to what he would say.
No... No... No, no, no, no, no!!! It was supposed to end with me telling her how I really felt about her, before she was engaged! Why the hell was it, that whenever I had my chance to tell Sora that I loved her, my throat would become constricted, and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't say it... No matter how many times I practiced it in front of my mirror during high school.
Sora looked just like everyone else in that crowd. She was awaiting the question anxiously, but by the looks of it, she had no clue as to what he was just about to ask her.
"Will you marry me Sora Takenouchi?" he asked. The whole crowd was excited now, but they still remained silent, awaiting for Sora's answer.
Sora's expression dropped to that of a confused girl. She was shaking her head, repeating an ambiguous mantra over and over again before replying: "I can't Matt... Not yet..." before she ran out of the corridors.
The crowd 'boo-ed' and disagreed with her answer, but she was already long gone. Of course Matt couldn't just abandon his audience, so he began singing anyway.
I took this opportunity to run after her.
I found her sitting in the benches of that very park she and I were just walking to and from, that morning. Her face was pale and white as if she had just seen as ghost, but it was void of any expressions.
"Sora..." I said softly, as I walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bench, just like the first time I ever did that during our freshman year, when she went through her first break-up.
She looked away and covered her face with her hands and began sobbing.
"What's wrong...?" I asked. I was definitely confused. She had been with Matt long enough, why didn't she say yes?
"Mmm..." she mumbled, while her hands blocked her mouth from getting out any real words.
I sighed. "Confused?" I asked her.
She nodded at this, and took away her hands from her face. "I... I don't know Tai..."
I gave her a look of understanding, before I noticed that she was slightly shaking. I took my jacket off and placed it over her shoulders, going up next her her to rub either arm to give her warmth. "Hey... It's cold out here... Why don't we go to your hotel, drink some tea, and talk this over the old fashioned way?" I suggested.
This made her smile brightly and I was a little confused, but happy none-the-less.
"What?" I asked smiling now, as we walked towards her hotel.
"It's just... You asked me the same thing when Yishno rejected me..." she replied.
Oh yeah... "Pfft... Yishno... I mean seriously... I think his dad was drunk then, suggesting a name while his speech was slurred... Yishno... HAH!"
She laughed at this, as she gently laid her head on my arm, as we continued walking down the cold streets of Kyoto.
Thirty minutes and two cups of hot tea later, Sora and I rested in her hotel's little dining room.
"I couldn't say yes Tai..." she said, as she lightly played with the rim of her tea cup.
I didn't say anything, but just nodded. I would let her tell me everything before I spoke up. This was the way it always was: when one of us was hurt, or just felt bad about something, the other would just listen until they were finished.
She remained quiet for a while again, and spoke up once more. Before, she was just staring at the table and her tea, but now, she stared at my eyes directly. "I don't love him," she stated strongly. "I don't think I ever did. I don't think I ever could! It's strange, 'cause I've stayed with him for so long, but I only stayed because I knew how heart breaks felt like. I just didn't want to break his heart. I couldn't love him Tai... You see... I think... I think that I loved - um... Love, someone else..."
Someone else?! Who else was there? She would've told me! I just know it!
"I'm just afraid to tell them 'cause all I think they think of me as is... just a really good friend you know? Maybe even a sister... Besides... Not to mention the fact that I'm still with Matt, and I feel obligated to stay with him..." she gave me the most piercing gaze she had ever given me during our whole friendship.
"Who else are you close to Sora?" I asked desperately. "Is there someone else you're close to, and you're not telling me?" There was no way... No way that I would lose her to anyone else. She already admitted that she didn't love Matt... so I thought that I had a chance, but now what? What would be of Sora and me?
She gave me a weak smile. "You're always been a dork, haven't you Tai?" she asked, lightly leaning over the table, and tipping my nose lightly.
I stared at her confused.
"It's confusing to explain, but I know that nothing will ever happen. Of course... It's ridiculous 'cause he thinks of me as his sister..." with this, she lightly wrinkled her nose in feigned disgust.
"Sora..." I gave her a warning tone. Who was this guy?
"Let's just say that I can't marry Matt right now, okay? I can't love him until I have the closure that I need, but I know I will never have that, because I'm a big chicken who can't reveal their feelings anymore, after being tired of getting hurt. Let's talk about something else..."
"Look, I brought up back here to talk with you, and I will get what I want..." I gave her a cocky smile.
She sighed and looked at me straight in the eye... then she stood up, walked around the table and came closer towards me.
I must admit that I have always dreamed that Sora would give me the look that she was giving me right now, but I never imagined that I would react so differently.
I suddenly stood up from my seat and backed away from her. "Oh," was all that escaped from my lips. 'Me...'
How many times have I wished for this? How many hours? Minutes? Seconds? Days? Years? Then all of a sudden I move away?! Was I insane?!
"Yes..." she answered, as she stopped, slightly taken aback from my actions.
"We..."
"Can't. I know that now..." she looked so horribly depressed with this, but her eyes shone hope. "But... Can I just ask why?"
"B... Because..."
Don't say it Tai...
"I..."
Don't break her heart.
"I don't love you."
Ouch.
Author's Notes: I couldn't call them the Teenage Wolves, although I know that was what they were originally called. It's just that they're not going to remain teenagers forever, and some members of the band were one year older than Tai and Matt, so they were twenty.
I know, I know. It's been so long since I've updated any of my Taiora stories. I'm sorry! I just got a major writer's block in the Taiora department. I needed motivation... I guess I've listened to enough songs now that some of my motivation returned.
I know that I originally said that this fic would only be five chapters, but I didn't want this chapter to be too long. I was thinking that I would do that for the real last chapter which would probably be the sixth one titled 'Last Chance'.
Once again, I'm sorry! Please, I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for my lack of dedication!
Please review. I hope that you enjoyed.
Oh... I'm sorry about what I did to Tai. I know that it wasn't right, but I was writing this fic based on what happened to someone at school. It was just to let out my thoughts on that person and their messed-up life. Fortunately for Tai, he's a fictional character, and his life can still be turned the right side up. Also, fortunately for him, I'm an author who just loves happy endings.
a-Leng: Grr... the rating PG-13 is really spread out at the top left corner of the screen isn't it? Haha... well... so far, all my fics are rated PG-13, so yeah, . It's okay, I miss A LOT of things too. It was rated PG-13 all along. .
I'm sorry!
Enjoy!
Please review in the end!!!
My High School Love Life
Part Five
A New Revelation
Well graduation sucked. My grades sucked, my relationships with girls sucked and basically, I screwed around with my life, so that sucked too. The only thing that was good that came out of it was the fact that Matt needed a song writer, because the last one he hired... yes... hired... wanted to get a raise. He of course dropped him, and Sora recommended me to him, and he couldn't refuse his girlfriend, so he obliged.
During graduation, Matt and his band played practically all the songs that I wrote, and some old ones too. It was a lame night, but one good thing came out of it.
You see, there was this music producer who heard that there was a teenage band that was popular around Odaiba and he heard that they were playing during our high school graduation, so he decided to come and watch. When he heard all the songs being played, and the band that was playing it, he immediately became interested.
The next day, he called everyone who had to do with the band at that present time, to come to his office. What we didn't know was the he was the music producer of one of the most popular music labels. He immediately wanted to start the recordings of the songs. Everything was great... all great... For Matt that is.
A year after this happened, 'The Wolves' as the band was called, became popular all over Japan and other areas of Asia. I was still the writer of their songs, so I was payed a great amount of money too... but I was still the 'man behind the scenes', just like how I was with Sora.
I had stopped my crazy relationships with all those women because I just realized that no matter what, nothing could ever replace the emptiness inside of me that was without Sora. I loved her. Her and only her. No matter how many nights I spent with someone, no matter how much time I tried to spend with someone to get to know them, they weren't Sora, so I could never be happy.
She was happy with Matt, as I could see. At least in my eyes, she was. I just wanted her to be happy. Like Mimi told me before: I cared more about the other people in my life rather than myself... Up until I started ruining my reputation of course, but that stopped.
"I think today's the day Tai..." Matt told me one day, as the band was lounging inside of this expensive hotel in Kyoto, where the band had a gig that night.
"What day?" I asked confused. Sheesh, if a guy's gonna say something as vague as that, might as well not say anything at all, or back it up with an explanation or something.
He turned to me, with this bright smile on his face, and he jumped off the bed to sit right in front of me. As I watched him, he pulled out a small, black, velvet box... and I instantly knew what he meant.
There was silence for a second between us, until he opened the box.
"See this?" he said excitedly, like some giddy little school boy. The ring shone with the light that cascaded through the porch blinds.
I looked at it half-heartedly. This was it. This was the day that I would officially lose Sora. "Yeah man..." I said, forcing my tone to be normal.
"I'm planning to ask Sora to marry me today, during the concert," he said, as he snapped the box closed. "I can't believe I'm gonna do this... I mean, we're only nineteen for kami sake, but still... Ya know? We've been together for so long..." he sighed.
I just stared at him, not knowing how to act in a situation like this.
"I mean, I know that she's been saving herself up for marriage and everything which makes everything better."
I gave him a strange look right then. "What do you mean? Haven't you been saving yourself up for her too?"
Matt looked at me as if I just said the most insane thing ever. "Of course not! Dude, with all those girl's following my band around during high school... who could resist?"
I must have looked like such an idiot right then and there because my mouth was hanging wide open. He and Sora had been going out since sophomore year and I knew that Matt had more morals than to sleep with girls when he was as young as a freshman, and I also knew that he wasn't sleeping with girls when he was a sophomore. He wasn't going out with Sora during the first half, and he and I were still very good friends then, so he would have told me.
That could only mean one thing...
"You were cheating on Sora..." What I said came out to be more like a statement rather than a question. I was so shocked...
I could barely hear Matt telling me that he had cheated on her, but I vaguely blocked that out. I couldn't think, move, or speak. What was I supposed to think? Do? Say? I knew that I was Sora's best friend, but during the year since I was hired as Matt's song writer, we became really good friends again.
Just then, I snapped when I heard him say how no one ever knew about it. "It was during senior year when I thought 'The hell with it! It's my last year as a high schooler!'" he explained. "So I did... But it was all during that same time when you were sleeping with other girls, exclusively. Your story was much more popular 'cause no one would've ever thought that you innocent, wacko Kamiya, would do anyone before marriage... but you did! Of course, the school would have already thought that the leader of a band would eventually have sex, so I wasn't mentioned... I forgot to thank you for that, by the way Tai. I mean, if it weren't for you, the story on me would have been big, and Sora would have dumped me!"
I glared at him for a second before I stood up and walked out of the door.
I wouldn't hit him. I couldn't hit him. It was partially my fault that Sora didn't realize what a cheating bastard Matt was.
I was blindly walking through the sidewalks, and I wasn't watching where I was going. I bumped into so much people, but eventually, I crashed into someone and we both fell over.
The next thing I know, I'm kneeling over, looking below me, at a pair of confused, ruby colored eyes.
"Sora...? Oh! Sora! Oh, crap... I'm sorry!" I said, immediately standing up and helping her up onto her feet.
She blinked a little bit and tried to set her mind straight, then she looked over at me and smiled. "Tai! Hey! I was just going over to the hotel to say 'hi' to everyone," she said.
"Funny... I was just thinking about you too..."
"What were you doing out here, walking as if you were blind?" she laughed.
Gods, I loved her voice. I loved her laugh... No... I loved her. Sora: the whole deal. I shook my head out of these thoughts, temporarily, and looked over at her again. "Just decided to walk..." I lied. "I was concentrating on how much steps it took for me to get to the park and back to the hotel, so I decided to be ignorant and not look where I was going," I continued.
"Ahh... I see..." she nodded. "Mind if I help you count then?" she asked.
I happily agreed, so for those past couple hours before the The Wolves concert, she and I talked about unimportant events, and our childhood, and that summer after our freshman year.
I couldn't speak to Matt. I didn't want to, but he didn't seem bothered by it. He still asked Sora to marry him during the concert and she... well...
"Before I sing this song, which by the way, goes out to my one and only, Sora..." I rolled my eyes at this, "I want to ask her something very important!" Matt said, during the middle part of the concert. The whole crowd was apprehensive as to what he would say.
No... No... No, no, no, no, no!!! It was supposed to end with me telling her how I really felt about her, before she was engaged! Why the hell was it, that whenever I had my chance to tell Sora that I loved her, my throat would become constricted, and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't say it... No matter how many times I practiced it in front of my mirror during high school.
Sora looked just like everyone else in that crowd. She was awaiting the question anxiously, but by the looks of it, she had no clue as to what he was just about to ask her.
"Will you marry me Sora Takenouchi?" he asked. The whole crowd was excited now, but they still remained silent, awaiting for Sora's answer.
Sora's expression dropped to that of a confused girl. She was shaking her head, repeating an ambiguous mantra over and over again before replying: "I can't Matt... Not yet..." before she ran out of the corridors.
The crowd 'boo-ed' and disagreed with her answer, but she was already long gone. Of course Matt couldn't just abandon his audience, so he began singing anyway.
I took this opportunity to run after her.
I found her sitting in the benches of that very park she and I were just walking to and from, that morning. Her face was pale and white as if she had just seen as ghost, but it was void of any expressions.
"Sora..." I said softly, as I walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bench, just like the first time I ever did that during our freshman year, when she went through her first break-up.
She looked away and covered her face with her hands and began sobbing.
"What's wrong...?" I asked. I was definitely confused. She had been with Matt long enough, why didn't she say yes?
"Mmm..." she mumbled, while her hands blocked her mouth from getting out any real words.
I sighed. "Confused?" I asked her.
She nodded at this, and took away her hands from her face. "I... I don't know Tai..."
I gave her a look of understanding, before I noticed that she was slightly shaking. I took my jacket off and placed it over her shoulders, going up next her her to rub either arm to give her warmth. "Hey... It's cold out here... Why don't we go to your hotel, drink some tea, and talk this over the old fashioned way?" I suggested.
This made her smile brightly and I was a little confused, but happy none-the-less.
"What?" I asked smiling now, as we walked towards her hotel.
"It's just... You asked me the same thing when Yishno rejected me..." she replied.
Oh yeah... "Pfft... Yishno... I mean seriously... I think his dad was drunk then, suggesting a name while his speech was slurred... Yishno... HAH!"
She laughed at this, as she gently laid her head on my arm, as we continued walking down the cold streets of Kyoto.
Thirty minutes and two cups of hot tea later, Sora and I rested in her hotel's little dining room.
"I couldn't say yes Tai..." she said, as she lightly played with the rim of her tea cup.
I didn't say anything, but just nodded. I would let her tell me everything before I spoke up. This was the way it always was: when one of us was hurt, or just felt bad about something, the other would just listen until they were finished.
She remained quiet for a while again, and spoke up once more. Before, she was just staring at the table and her tea, but now, she stared at my eyes directly. "I don't love him," she stated strongly. "I don't think I ever did. I don't think I ever could! It's strange, 'cause I've stayed with him for so long, but I only stayed because I knew how heart breaks felt like. I just didn't want to break his heart. I couldn't love him Tai... You see... I think... I think that I loved - um... Love, someone else..."
Someone else?! Who else was there? She would've told me! I just know it!
"I'm just afraid to tell them 'cause all I think they think of me as is... just a really good friend you know? Maybe even a sister... Besides... Not to mention the fact that I'm still with Matt, and I feel obligated to stay with him..." she gave me the most piercing gaze she had ever given me during our whole friendship.
"Who else are you close to Sora?" I asked desperately. "Is there someone else you're close to, and you're not telling me?" There was no way... No way that I would lose her to anyone else. She already admitted that she didn't love Matt... so I thought that I had a chance, but now what? What would be of Sora and me?
She gave me a weak smile. "You're always been a dork, haven't you Tai?" she asked, lightly leaning over the table, and tipping my nose lightly.
I stared at her confused.
"It's confusing to explain, but I know that nothing will ever happen. Of course... It's ridiculous 'cause he thinks of me as his sister..." with this, she lightly wrinkled her nose in feigned disgust.
"Sora..." I gave her a warning tone. Who was this guy?
"Let's just say that I can't marry Matt right now, okay? I can't love him until I have the closure that I need, but I know I will never have that, because I'm a big chicken who can't reveal their feelings anymore, after being tired of getting hurt. Let's talk about something else..."
"Look, I brought up back here to talk with you, and I will get what I want..." I gave her a cocky smile.
She sighed and looked at me straight in the eye... then she stood up, walked around the table and came closer towards me.
I must admit that I have always dreamed that Sora would give me the look that she was giving me right now, but I never imagined that I would react so differently.
I suddenly stood up from my seat and backed away from her. "Oh," was all that escaped from my lips. 'Me...'
How many times have I wished for this? How many hours? Minutes? Seconds? Days? Years? Then all of a sudden I move away?! Was I insane?!
"Yes..." she answered, as she stopped, slightly taken aback from my actions.
"We..."
"Can't. I know that now..." she looked so horribly depressed with this, but her eyes shone hope. "But... Can I just ask why?"
"B... Because..."
Don't say it Tai...
"I..."
Don't break her heart.
"I don't love you."
Ouch.
Author's Notes: I couldn't call them the Teenage Wolves, although I know that was what they were originally called. It's just that they're not going to remain teenagers forever, and some members of the band were one year older than Tai and Matt, so they were twenty.
I know, I know. It's been so long since I've updated any of my Taiora stories. I'm sorry! I just got a major writer's block in the Taiora department. I needed motivation... I guess I've listened to enough songs now that some of my motivation returned.
I know that I originally said that this fic would only be five chapters, but I didn't want this chapter to be too long. I was thinking that I would do that for the real last chapter which would probably be the sixth one titled 'Last Chance'.
Once again, I'm sorry! Please, I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for my lack of dedication!
Please review. I hope that you enjoyed.