Hope you're all still enjoying this. Sorry for such irregular posting.

Em x

It was as Sara's neighbour was not realising that Sara's tap had been running for half an hour that Grissom was making his way up to her apartment. He had been barely half way to his own home when he had realised he had left his jacket behind. He knew full well that he could do without it for a while; there was no need for him to return immediately. But it had provided him with the perfect excuse. He could not keep reliving that moment in his head; that split second when she had placed her finger on his lips. It had had the kind of effect on him that he had only thought was possible in television shows and films; the kind that he did not watch, of course. A shiver had run down his spine. He knew that she was fragile right now and that it would have done neither of them on any good for him to have taken the moment further yet he now had such a longing to take her into his arms and hold her. He needed her to know that she was here. Possibly words could not express his hopelessly confused feelings but he knew he needed to see her.

And that had brought him here, to Sara's door. He knocked, wondering when the butterflies he normally displayed on his walls had made their way into his stomach. There was no reply and he wondered whether Sara had given in and gone to bed. He knocked again, not really wanting to wake her but knowing that he could not turn around now he was here. There was still no reply. He suddenly became aware of the sound of running water; she must be bathing. He wondered what to do. He did not really relish the idea of standing on her doorstep until she was finished. He decided to knock on Sara's neighbour's door. She answered, dressed identically to the last time they had met, in a dressing gown and slippers and Grissom could hear the television noise in the background. He did not get the feeling she was a particularly active woman. She did not look particularly pleased to be disturbed and if she recalled her and Grissom's previous encounter she did not show it in her face.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry to have to disturb you," Grissom began. "But I wondered if you had a key to Miss Sidle's apartment?"

"I don't have a spare key I'm afraid," she replied although the suspicion in her face did make Grissom wonder whether she would tell him if she did.

"Do you know whether anyone else in the building has a spare key?"

"Is there a reason you need to get in to her apartment?"

"She's in the bath." The shocked look on the woman's face made Grissom realise his words were not entirely clear in their meaning. "I'm Gilbert Grissom. Her boss- I mean her friend. I left my jacket behind when I was visiting earlier and I wanted to collect it without disturbing her."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. She shouldn't be long, I'm sure. She got in the bath-" she glanced at her watch momentarily. "Well, it must have been more than half an hour ago now."

Grissom was confused. "May I ask how you can be sure?"

"I heard the taps running."

"Half an hour ago?"

"Yes. I know because my favourite show was beginning and I turned the volume up."

"Have they stopped since?"

The woman seemed unsure. "I- I don't know. I didn't register them stopping, but I couldn't be sure. Are they still running?" Grissom nodded. The woman moved quickly into her own home and turned off the television. A silence gripped the building and the rumbling sounds of plumbing could be heard. She returned to the door with a worried look on her face. "There's a damp patch on my floor," she said. "I think Sara's bathroom is on the other side of the wall."

Grissom began to pound on Sara's door. "Sara? Can you hear me?" he called out. "I'm going to come in, Sara, if you don't open the door." He waited a few brief seconds but there was no sound other than that of the still running taps. With one strong movement he burst the door down and rushed inside. The neighbour stood at the door, her face wracked with worry.

Grissom found his way to Sara's bathroom door. It was not locked. Scared of what he might find inside he gently pushed the door, under which a stream of water was flowing, open. It was as bad as he feared. Sara was lying in the full bath. Steam was rising and the mirror and the window were totally clouded. She was clothed but her face was so deadly pallid that Grissom immediately feared the worst. He waded through the flood and turned the taps off. He reached into the bath water, which was mottled with blood, and took hold of one of Sara's wrists. He felt for a pulse. The moment he felt one he allowed himself to breathe again. It was faint but it was there.

Sara's neighbour had made her way to the doorway of the bathroom. She looked as though she herself might pass out. Grissom could not afford for this to happen.

"Call an ambulance," he demanded. "Now."

The woman, seemingly on autopilot, did as she was told. Grissom knelt in the puddle of water beside the bath and placed an arm around Sara to prevent her sliding into the reddened water. The water was hot, but not enough to scald him or her, which was one blessing.

"What were you thinking, Sara?" he murmured to her, hoping that somehow she could hear his voice and it would give her the strength to fight. He just hoped that she wanted to.

With his head in his hands, Grissom swallowed the rising lump in his throat. This was no time to break down. Not when Sara needs you, he thought to himself. He heard the sound of approaching hurried footsteps coming down the corridor. Glancing up he saw Nick, his face pale, a look of urgency in his eyes.

"Any news?"

"Not since we spoke on the phone."

The urgency seemed to fade from his eyes and was replaced with hopelessness. "Why did we let her back to work so soon?" he asked rhetorically. "Of course she wasn't ready."

"We couldn't have stopped her, Nick," Grissom replied. "Anyway, this would probably only have happened quicker had we made her stay at home. Working was her way of coping."

"But she obviously couldn't cope, could she?" Nick sounded angry.

Grissom signalled for him to sit down. "Don't beat yourself up. I've been doing just that since I found her and I can tell you it does no good."

Nick placed his head in his hands, as Grissom had just done. Grissom observed him, concerned. He knew that Nick cared for Sara almost as much as he himself did, and that was saying something. But Grissom had his ways of coping with these things. Sometimes he struggled, and God knows this was pushing him to his limits, but Grissom was worried that Nick did not have methods of dealing with the struggle. It could torture him and wear him into the ground if he was not careful. Sara needed them to be strong. But now was not the time to tell Nick all this. They sat silently for what felt like hours, but was in reality probably only about thirty minutes. Then both were interrupted mid thought by the resonating sound of more footsteps, signalling they were no longer alone in the corridor. Both men glanced up to see an approaching doctor. Grissom stood; Nick just stared, seemingly unable to conjure the energy to leave his seat.

"Dr Grissom?"

"Yes?"

"Sara wanted me to talk to you."

"She's awake?"

"Yes."

"Oh, thank God." Grissom locked eyes with Nick and they exchanged silent relief.

"She lost a lot of blood, but we got there just in time. She's weak but she should only need to spend a couple of nights here before she can go home. She's going to need more help than we can give her right now, though. Did you know she was feeling this low?"

"She was raped, doctor," Grissom remarked. The doctor nodded her head, evidently aware of this fact. "That doesn't tend to leave people in the happiest of states." Grissom could not help his sarcasm; it was rooted in a demoralizing sense of uselessness. "But no, I didn't expect her to-" He broke off, suddenly struck by the reality of what Sara had tried to do; she had attempted to end her life. Things had got so bad she did not want to live anymore. All of a sudden he had an overwhelming urge to see her; to touch her; to check she was still real. "I have to see her."

"I'm afraid that's why Sara sent me to see you. She doesn't want to speak to you." The doctor seemed to honestly regret what she had to say.

"What? You can't stop me!"

"It's Sara's request, Dr Grissom. I really suggest-"

"Did she mention me?" Nick interrupted.

"She mentioned no one except Dr Grissom."

"Then there's no reason I can't see her."

"You are-?" the doctor questioned.

"Nick Stokes. A friend of Sara's; a close friend."

"I really don't think Sara's ready to see anyone yet. Maybe tomorrow?"

But Nick was not ready to take no for an answer. "She definitely didn't mention me?"

"Like I said. No one except Dr Grissom."

"Then I can go and see her."

"Ok," the doctor agreed. "But only briefly." She motioned for Nick to follow her and the two made their way down the corridor.

Grissom sat back onto his chair and let his head sink once more into his hands. He began to wonder if his assessment had been wrong and in fact Nick was better equipped to deal with everything than he was. Sara certainly seemed to think so. Or maybe none of them were going to cope. Maybe nothing was ever going to get any better than this; they were just going to struggle through life. He once again swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to banish the despair he was feeling from his mind. It didn't bear thinking about.