The kunai, chapter 5: Still alive?

By Gasha Aisu

She stood, silently, eyes clenched shut. She could feel it, she could feel it like it was yesterday. Now that she was alone, memories of that night came rushing back. She clenched the spot above her heart. She trembled as she tried, tried so hard to repress those emotions. They came anyhow. It was as if his return, his promise, and his sheer presence had broken the walls she worked so hard to build. She could feel it. Loneliness… As she stood, alone, in her apartment she couldn't even call home. She could feel the pain, the rejection of three years back. You're annoying. Those words, those words that broke her cheerful spirit. His cold eyes, as he rejected her. He didn't even let her come with him. He didn't even consider staying with them, Naruto, Kakashi and her, although he said he did. But she knew he didn't. He must have been disgusted by her. She shivered, and whimpered. She had cried, she had confessed her feelings. It didn't matter, she only made a fool of herself. Desperate she had threatened to scream. The only thing he did was knock her unconscious. She would have done anything for him, anything. But he rejected her anyhow, that was the day she realised she was worthless...and in a way, still is. No… She opened her eyes, determined. No, she would not let her emotions come back to her. She would not cry, and she would be the weapon again. After all, if she wouldn't be, and he would realise her strength... She shuddered. If he could fake his emotions, pretend he cared or even loved her. She would believe it... blindly. And he would be free to use her, and she wouldn't even mind.

She smirked. So, she had been lying to Naruto, Ino and Tsunade-sama after all. She wasn't completely dead, and if she wasn't careful, she could relive again. As a cherry blossom, who once again opens up after a winter's cold. No, she shook her head, no, she wasn't going to allow herself to live again. Although she would live again, it would cost her strength. And she needed that strength. Without it, she was useless, useless! She refused to be weak again. She blinked, and her eyes turned as cold as stone. She blinked again, and they were icy cold. Another blink, and they were empty, as empty as the eyes of a corpse. She wasn't going to allow herself to live again, she was going to stay dead. She wasn't going to be as foolish as she once was. Grabbing what she needed, she took of to complete the mission. A weapon once more.

They were already there, waiting for her to start the mission. She smirked, and to think she was early. Naruto looked at her, his eyes stained with sadness. She felt a pang of guilt and scowled. Damn it, why was she softening?

"Let's go" she said, her voice as empty as her eyes were.

Naruto nodded, and Sasuke took off. They made their way to a village were the ninja's were last spotted. For hours they travelled in silence. But Sakura noted, annoyed, that Naruto kept stealing glances at her. She didn't need a distracted team-mate, so she decided to confront him.

"Naruto, I'm going for ANBU in about three months, I can take care of myself" she stated, and glanced at him momentarily, before refocusing her gaze on the road before her. Naruto just looked away.

"Can you?" he muttered.

Sasuke frowned, Sakura was going for ANBU already? But, that was his and Naruto's level. Had she really increased thatmuch? Somehow he had the feeling she was even stronger then he was. That thought made him shudder, but also think. It meant that she was indeed a valuable weapon... But that was not what he was feeling. He wasn't feeling the need to use her power, no he needed to own her. O yes, he wanted her, and not only as his weapon.

Sakura could feel his eyes on her. So, she had indeed gained his interest. She scowled, this wasn't what she needed on missions, and that was the only thing that mattered. But somehow she was beginning to get doubts. If her mission was the only thing that mattered, why did she enjoy his attention? She slightly shook her head. Time to focus on the mission, not the village's returned traitor.

She looked to the side again and saw Naruto's hollow eyes. Another pang of guilt went through her. And out of nowhere Ino's eyes haunted her. They had looked so sad, broken. She had broken Ino. She had always thought that was an impossible thing to do. She bit her lower lip and her eyes saddened. Ino was the only thing she had gained of Sasuke's leaving. Naruto did stay loyal, to the village, to her and their friendship. She glanced at Naruto again. She was dragging him down with him. Some of her old caring side came up again and she found herself addressing Naruto.

"Naruto" she spoke softly, but then hardened again. She trained her eyes on her surroundings, determined to make this as brief as possible so that she could focus on her mission again. Naruto looked up.

"I don't want you to be sad" she said, refusing to look at him still, "It is my decision to be a weapon. You have Hinata, and the guys, don't let me drag you down. Don't stop living just because I'm not what you want me to be"

She looked at him.

"I know that I'm hurting you and Ino. But this is my decision, I will not be useless. Stop wasting your energy to try to change me and being hard on yourself thinking you can. Use that energy in the mission, make it useful" she continued.

Naruto looked on away, and didn't say anything. But she knew he considered it. She knew he would be okay, that was all she needed to know.

"Let's increase our speed, we have to find them before they make another victim" she more ordered then suggested. They where silent for the rest of the night.

As they came to an empty field, they halted immediately. There was something about that field. Without saying anything Naruto pointed somewhere in the tall grass. Narrowing her eyes Sakura could just barely see four figures standing there.

"You think that's our target?" she asked, her eyes glued to the small hidden figures in the distance. Sasuke frowned.

"But there are four of them, we're looking for three" he pointed out, speaking for the first time since the start of the mission.

Naruto shook his head.

"Something tells me they are the ninja's we're looking for. Besides, the last one could have stayed hidden. Or joined them later on"

Sakura nodded, agreeing with Naruto.

"Let's go then" Sasuke said. And once again they took off.

They reached the figures, and discovered that they where indeed the ninja's they where looking for. Naruto stood and went to confront them, Sasuke and Sakura following silently.

"Who are you? And what is your business?" one of the four asked, finally openly noticing the Konoha ninja's as did his other companions.

"We're looking for the three ninja's who attacked innocent people. You wouldn't happen to know them do you?" Naruto asked, narrowing his eyes.

One of the four cursed.

"We have other priorities, let Ashi deal with them" he said, pushing another forward.

The one called Ashi nodded.

"I will not let you down, you guys go ahead, I'll catch up later" he said, strongly believing in himself. The others nodded and took off. Naruto made a move to go after them but invisible wall kept Naruto from going after them. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"Again" Ashi mumbled, and focused his attention on the three Konoha ninja's.

"The wall is created by my jutsu. One of you three will fight me. Charge at me together, and the wall will stand forever. I will pick one of you, who will fight me while the others will stand, helplessly. If that one defeats me, the wall disappears. If I win, the wall stands, and I get away. Easy as that" Ashi told them.

Naruto sighed.

"Looks like we have no other choice" he told his silent companions. Sasuke nodded, but Sakura did nothing. Her eyes locked in an intense stare. She was judging her enemy.

"Let's see" Ashi mused out loud, hoping to provoke an early fight, "you are known for your fox abilities" He locked eyes with Naruto. "But your aggressive impulsive style of fighting doesn't interest me" Naruto tensed, and clenched his hand into fist. But did nothing.

His eyes went on, and locked with Sasuke's.

"The Uchiha who killed his own brother" his grey eyes held Sasuke's dark ones, "interesting, but not enough. I don't like snakes. Besides, you remind me to much of myself" Sasuke tensed and narrowed his eyes. Ashi ignored him. But went on to Sakura.

"You cherry blossom, I want to fight you. Your cold-blooded nature is famous, yet you haven't always been this way. You're a mystery to me, and because your so interesting you have the honour to fight me" he smirked and waited for her answer.

She hardly responded, she only took a step forward and glanced at Naruto. Who got the message, and got to a safe distance, so that he could still watch the fight but wasn't in her way. He janked Sasuke with him. Sakura stood still, gazing at Ashi with intense eyes. Most people were unnerved by them, but Ashi didn't seem to mind. He looked right back.

A breeze picked up.

Then Ashi charged at Sakura withoud any warning.

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Well it's getting interesting, don't you think? Sakura showed sighns of softening, so Sasuke does affect her. I know I didn't let Sasuke do much in this chapter, but he did enough in the last one don't you think?

Well untill next time.

Gasha Aisu