CHAPTER 15 - Reunion
The commander's lounge was quiet except for the shuffle of sabacc chips. Jaina Solo studied her opponents carefully as they each reacted to her bet. Jag, to her right, revealed no outward indication of his predicament, either good or bad. Jaina kept her word and denied her Force skills in attempting any other form of analysis. Jag matched her wager and raised her.
Tahiri Veila, sitting directly across from Jaina, studied her cards for a few moments before folding her hand. Rane Fel occupied the last spot at the table. He straightened up in his seat as he watched the blonde female take herself out of the game. The younger Fel was practiced in maintaining a game face, but his body movement was enough of a clue. From years of hanging around her father, Jaina knew Rane had a decent hand but not a great one. He was too eager to see another opponent fold.
Jag was now her only unknown factor, but her hand was good enough to win in most company. Rane matched the wagers and raised his brother. Jaina called the match and Tahiri, acting as dealer, dished out the last round of cards.
Much to Jaina's pleasure, the queen of air fell into her hand. This fact made her hand even better than she could have hoped for. Her hand went from a high twenty-one points to a natural sabacc hand after throwing out a card.
Rane laid down his hand first; by the look on his face the card dealt did not improve his position. He showed a respectable twenty point hand. The younger Fel brother was still hopeful until Jag played his hand to reveal a twenty-two-point array. Jag's victorious grin was short-lived as Jaina covered his hand in turn. Jag's face fell as she revealed the winning cards, a smirk covering her face.
"Sorry Jag, but you lose again." Jaina scooped up her winnings and pulled them over to accompany the already mounding pile of credits.
Rane shook his head in disbelief. "How do you do that? Was that seven hands in a row?"
Jag corrected his brother, "Eight, eight hands in a row. I told you not to take her up on the offer this morning at breakfast. Even Father suspected that she was as lethal in cards as her father. I consider myself a decent sabacc player, and she skins me every time."
"Actually I couldn't turn down a shot at meeting the lovely Tahiri, like Jaina promised." Rane turned from his brother to flash a stunning grin at the blond female, who almost appeared to blush.
Jag watched in awe as his brother turned on the charm and envied his ease with women. Rane was such a duplicate of their mother in many ways, especially in dealing with members of the opposite sex. In fact, Jag had never found it easy at all until he had met Jaina. Even then it had taken considerable determination and the sudden realization that he had almost died without exploring his feelings to fuel any romantic actions.
Jag turned to smile at the lovely women who captivated his thoughts and exchanged a conspiratorial grin. Jaina had confided in him after breakfast that she had thought a friendly night of cards might be an unthreatening way to introduce her friend Tahiri to Rane, who was of a similar age. Jaina knew Tahiri still pined over the loss of her brother Anakin, but she also knew that Anakin would have wanted Tahiri to find happiness once again. By the look on the younger Jedi's face, they might have made a step in the right direction.
Rane's voice jolted Jag out of his daydream. "Jag, did you hear me?"
Jag turned back to his brother. "Hmmm?"
"I asked what your excuse was, if you already knew she was going to steal you blind?"
Jag reached out of his seat without looking away from Rane and grabbed Jaina from where she sat. They playfully wrestled until Jaina was resting on his lap, nestled in a firm hug. Rane marveled at the ease Jag shared with Jaina Solo, a remarkable change from his usually unemotional façade.
"Because this beautiful vixen could take my last credit, and there would never be a complaint uttered from my lips, as long as she was happy."
Jaina's giggles were stifled by Jag as he dipped her head back and planted a kiss squarely on her mouth. They enjoyed the moment, but as Jaina felt the passion erupt between them she squirmed from Jag's lap to stand over him.
She caught her breath. "Does anyone need a refill on their drink? Rane? Tahiri?"
Tahiri held up her empty glass. "Sure, thanks Jaina."
Rane waved his hand over his half-full mug. "I'm fine. Thank you."
"What about me?" Jag asked with a pout.
"You're with me Colonel."
Jag perked up. "Oh, okay."
Jaina grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag Jag from his seat. The couple headed for the bar area. Tahiri followed them with her eyes until they disappeared around the corner. She left her gaze there, somewhat uncomfortable, being left in Rane's company alone.
Rane's eyes had never left Tahiri's face. He examined the shimmer of her blonde hair, a shade lighter than his, and the subtle lines of scars that still marked her face from the Yuuzhan Vong imprisonment. Tahiri shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she turned back to meet his stare, noting the depths of his brown eyes, so like Anakin's were. Then she pushed that thought to the back of her mind.
Rane attempted to break the undeniable tension in the air. "So Tahiri, what squadron do you fly in?"
"I'm not a pilot like Jaina. We're just good friends. I fly when they need me to, but I could never fly like she does." She had not finished her sentence, not like Anakin did. Tahiri did not add that every time she climbed in a fighter it brought back a flood of memories – all of Anakin. He had been a pilot just like his sister. Anakin had loved to fly.
"If you're not a full-time pilot, what do you do on base?"
Jag and Jaina returned from around the corner with drinks in hand. Both Tahiri and Rane glanced their direction before Tahiri turned back to answer the question. "I am currently in charge of Jedi patrols for the Council. I schedule patrols and fill in where we have conflicts. A lot of the Jedi are also pilots, so sometimes I take their patrols if an unexpected mission comes up. I write reports, that kind of stuff."
Jaina set her drink down on the table and then reached across to hand one to Tahiri. Both Jag and Jaina took their seats as Rane commented. "I don't think the Vong…"
"Yuuzhan Vong."
Rane looked at Tahiri curiously. "…will make it past you after the display of skill I witnessed last week when you sparred with the other Jedi."
"They are called Yuuzhan Vong," she clarified, "not Vong."
Rane dipped his head in acknowledgement, realizing that he may have stepped into dangerous territory. Jaina had mentioned that Tahiri's scars were from a failed attempt by the Yuuzhan Vong to brainwash the younger Jedi. "I apologize. Yuuzhan Vong."
Tahiri sensed the awkwardness rising between them and quickly added, "No need to apologize. It's just a strange quirk of mine." Tahiri turned to her friend abruptly. "Speaking of patrols, Jaina, just a reminder that you and Kyp have the afternoon patrol tomorrow. I checked your schedule; it shouldn't conflict."
"Sure, not a problem. So who's up for another game?" Jaina's eyes darted around the table innocently.
Rane was the first to reply. "Sure, if my brother will extend me some credit."
Jag and Jaina exchanged looks. Jaina's look was a pleading look; Jag's look was one of a man unable to say 'no' to the woman he desired. Jaina grinned as she reached for the cards, standing to make the stretch. Before reaching their objective, her hands curled into a ball and flew to her head.
Jaina stumbled backwards, bumping into her chair. No one at the table noticed the drink glasses vibrating and the game chips bouncing on the table. Everyone's attention was riveted on Jaina as she fell to the floor, crashing through her chair.
A howl of pain pierced the air. Jag was at her side in an instant. He covered her body as the sounds of glass exploding filled the air. It became apparent to Jag that the exploding glass resulted from some powerful vibration emanating from Jaina. He could feel a powerful sensation begin to overwhelm him and almost take his breath away.
Tahiri was kneeling beside him as he pulled himself off Jaina. The younger Jedi took Jaina's clenched hands, which had come to rest in front of her face as Jaina assumed a fetal position. The powerful sensation overtaking Jag began to subside.
Rane attempted to offer his assistance by removing the chair tangled in Jaina's legs. It was clear that Tahiri was controlling Jaina's Force storm, but the effort was quickly draining her. The blonde Jedi had a bead of sweat forming on her forehead. Both brothers were fearful to speak and break her concentration.
The door to the lounge slid open and a shirtless Kyp Durron blew into the room. He had been resting in his room down the hall, when he felt the onslaught of Jaina's vision in the Force. He knelt next to Tahiri just as she lost control of Jaina's Force storm.
Jaina stiffened from her curled position until her body was straight and rigid, even her hands opened with her fingers flaring from her palms. Her brown eyes opened but were sightless as cries escaped her lips.
Items in the room began shaking; the table bounced on the floor, chairs danced on their legs. Kyp tried to grasp Jaina, but she had become violent, her arms flailing at an unseen opponent with unimaginable strength.
Kyp barked an order. "Try to hold her still."
Between Jag and Rane at her feet, Tahiri using her Jedi enhanced strength to pin her arms, and Kyp at her shoulders, they managed to wrestle Jaina to a somewhat pliable position.
Kyp scrambled to kneel by her head and touched her temples. He gasped at the onslaught of emotions that overtook him as he probed Jaina's mind. Taking a deep breath, he plunged into the flurry of despair and sadness that was drowning her mind.
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The fury of emotions bombarding the mind of Jaina was swirling around like a whirlpool, threatening to drag Kyp into a vortex of despair and suffering. Various scenes housed these emotions and passed by Kyp as he fought the strength of the downward pull of the memories.
Kyp saw a woman, similar in appearance to Jaina, sitting alone in a room, rubbing her hand across her stomach enlarged with the swell of pregnancy. Kyp instinctively knew she was Padme, the grandmother Jaina had discovered on Naboo. He sensed a hint of love that she felt for the babies growing in her womb, but that was drowning in the sadness flaring in her heart.
The vision of Padme washed away but the woman's face reappeared, broadcasting a struggle against physical pain coupled with fierce determination. The scene expanded and next to Padme, who was lying in a stark room, sat a bearded man dressed in Jedi robes. He placed his hand on her sweating brow and the wash of pain softened in her face as the scene dissolved.
Kyp felt the tug of a familiar presence. He followed the pull through the currents of the emotions and found himself in a bedroom, richly decorated. In front of the window overlooking waterfalls highlighted by the red arms emanating from the setting sun, the outline of a woman could be made out, her shoulders softly wracking in sobs.
Kyp knew here was the power of the vortex of despair, the resting place of all the emotions. Kyp approached the woman. He could see her arms holding something before her, but it was shielded by the shadow of her body facing away from him. As he drew near, he started at the sight of the hilt of a lightsaber with a deadly aim for her body.
In that moment Kyp also recognized the face as belonging to Jaina, not Padme. Tears streamed down her face. Here was where Jaina's consciousness was trapped in this memory. Kyp moved forward silently until he was behind Jaina. He reached up stealthily and in a quick fluid movement stifled her finger on the power button.
Kyp was close enough now to feel the warmth of her body, which stiffened with his appearance. A voice scratched from her throat, tortured by the ravages of her tears. "Ani?"
Kyp hesitated; obviously Jaina was stuck in Padme's memory, so he chose to play the part. "Yes, it's me." He gradually pulled the lightsaber from her grasp.
She sucked in a breath. "Ani, let me go. I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't know you. The man I loved would never kill his friends, all the Jedi."
Kyp clipped the lightsaber to his belt and slowly raised his hands slowly to her shoulders. He used his Jedi enhanced memory to scan every detail he could recall Jaina saying about her newfound heritage. Kyp developed a strategy before speaking. He knew that Anakin had not found Padme until after she had died, so this must be a hope she kept alive - a hope that Anakin would turn back to the light.
"I didn't kill them Padme; the emperor did. I could not stop him or he would have killed you as well. I brought you here to keep you safe from him."
Jaina's shoulder's softened beneath his touch, a positive sign.
"We will never be safe from the Emperor, Ani. He controls you; he controls everything. The Jedi were the last line of defense against him, and I failed them all. In doing so, I failed my child."
"No Padme. We fail if we don't survive. This is our chance. We can flee here; flee to the farthest edges of the galaxy away from his grip. We can be a family – you and my child – controlling our destiny."
Jaina sighed. "I wish I could believe you. I want to believe you, but so much has happened that I don't think I could ever trust you with our child. I can't trust myself to keep the secret safe in me."
Kyp struggled with a response, one that would free her from her despair. "Then I will let you go."
"Oh Ani," she cried as she rotated to face him, burying her face in his chest.
Kyp wrapped her in his arms, and she stood there clinging to him desperately. Kyp held her until she tipped her head up. Suddenly her lips were one with his lips in a soft kiss. Kyp was paralyzed by the sensation, unable to think or move. Her emotions rolled between their touch. Instead of the hope and joy he expected to find, there was sadness and grim determination – a goodbye.
Padme's will had determined her course and no one was going to stop her. That faint glimmer of hope was gone. Kyp became desperate in the knowledge that Jaina was stuck in her grandmother's willful determination to end her life. Still in the kiss, Kyp brought his right hand to her temple and focused all his strength into the Force. Jaina's lips fell away from his mouth as she slumped over in his arms. A lone tear fell down the cheek of the Jedi Master.
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Jag watched Kyp for any sign that the Jedi Master was making progress. Jaina still fought against his hold. Tahiri looked like she was beginning to struggle to keep control of Jaina's hands and stifle the Force storm. Rane was holding his own, a typical Fel, up to any situation. Jag outwardly maintained his composure; inwardly he felt sick with fear.
Suddenly Jaina went limp beneath his hold; her struggles ceased. Tahiri let out a deep breath and fell back to a sitting position. Jag's eyes traced up Jaina's body to her face. Instead of finding her coming to, like the previous vision, she was lifeless and still. The path of tears marked the pallor of her skin, telling tales of the destruction that took place in her mind.
As Kyp fell over his hands released her head and it flopped to the right. Kyp caught himself on his hands carefully placed on either side of her head. The strength required to control Jaina's mind had drained his mind and body completely. He struggled to catch his breath and regain his senses, all the while staring at Jaina's still face.
"Jag, take her to Cilghal."
Jag never hesitated. He nudged Tahiri aside to scoop Jaina in his arms. As he was standing, Kyp spoke again.
"Tell Cilghal I put her in a coma. I couldn't find any way to control the memories." Defeat tainted his words.
Jag nodded to Kyp before turning and heading for the exit as fast as his legs would carry him.
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The doors to the medcenter could not open fast enough for Jag. He turned sideways to squeeze Jaina's body through the opening. He headed to the ward that housed the Jedi healer, Cilghal. The Mon Calamari native was obviously forewarned of his arrival. Medical droids were already busy around the room making preparations. Cilghal motioned for Jag to place Jaina on one of the medbunks lined up along the wall.
The second Jaina's body met the bunk; the droids were attaching probes to her body at various locations. Jag stayed by her side, taking her right hand in both of his hands. One of the droids removed the brain wave scanner from her temple and passed it to Cilghal.
The healer removed the chip from the scanner and placed it into the receiver in a datastation nearby. Jag waited silently watching Cilghal with curious anticipation. Data flowed across the display. The healer instantly started punching keys on the control pad and began manipulating the information.
Jag diverted his eyes back to Jaina. A tendril of hair draped across her lips; he brushed it back with a finger, silently hoping it would result in the fluttering of her eyes like earlier in the day. She remained still and his hopes went unanswered.
Jag glanced back up as Cilghal approached from her datastation. "Kyp said to tell you he put her in a coma. He couldn't find a way to control the memories."
The Mon Calamari blinked her big eyelids in thought. "A wise decision. Colonel Fel, we need to work on Jaina. You might be more comfortable in the waiting area." Her hand slowly motioned toward the outer room visible through the large observation window.
Jag's eyes went from the Jedi to Jaina. He gripped her lifeless hand harder. Cilghal sensed his reluctance. "Please Colonel. Let us help her."
Jag's shoulders slumped, and he gently placed her hand on her thigh before backing away. The droids moved in from both sides of the bunk as Jag turned to leave. When he arrived at the door Cilghal's voice halted him.
"Colonel Fel, this might be safer with you."
He turned to find the healer holding out her webbed hand. Jaina's necklace was draped across it. Jag strode over, took the piece before fleeing the room. As Jag entered the waiting area, the far door opened to reveal Leia Organa Solo rushing through, followed closely behind by her husband. Both the doors to the waiting room slid shut simultaneously.
Leia paused at the sight of Jaina through the window. Han stood behind her; his hands came to rest on her shoulders. Leia's trained voice did not betray the concern she felt as she met Jag's eyes. "Jag, what happened to Jaina?"
Jag inhaled deeply and wrestled for control of his own voice. He clutched the pendant in his fist until the metal pressed painfully into his palm. It was a tangible pain, not like the pain tearing at his heart.
"It appears Jaina was inflicted with another spell like she suffered onboard the Falcon. This one was quite severe however. It required Tahiri, my brother, Rane and myself to restrain her while Kyp attempted to reach Jaina. He had to put her in a coma. I brought her to Cilghal directly. She is evaluating Jaina as we speak." Jag knew his words did not do justice to the terror that had passed.
Through the window, the Jedi healer could be seen passing her hands over Jaina in a meditative state, scanning her body with the Force. Everyone in the waiting room was distracted by the swish of the outer door.
Kyp, now fully dressed, entered first, followed by Tahiri and Rane. The Jedi Master still appeared shaken by the whole event, but he spoke first. "Has Cilghal determined anything?"
Jag answered, "No, she just started her exam. I relayed everything exactly as you said."
Kyp overcome by the distinct fear that he had made the wrong decision headed for the door to the medward. Leia stepped in front of him, blocking his path.
"Kyp, I know you're concerned, as we all are, but Master Cilghal needs time to make her examination. She will notify us as soon as she is able."
Kyp nodded in acceptance, but never took his eyes off the action in the next room. Everyone shuffled around uncomfortably. Rane guided Tahiri to a chair, sensitive to the ordeal she had just endured physically and emotionally. Both Leia and Han offered him a polite smile after Jag introduced his brother quickly.
Kyp began pacing the room like a caged animal. Jag stood utterly still except the unconscious fingering of Jaina's pendant. Han stood with his arms wrapped around Leia from behind, intently watching their daughter's motionless body.
Leia, finally driven to the point of distraction by Kyp's distressed antics, addressed him. "Kyp, I am sure you did everything possible to help Jaina."
Kyp halted his step and faced the former Chief of State. His face strained with the memory. "There was so much pain. She was trapped in this awful memory of Padme's last minutes. It was like all the suffering in her life was stored in that moment. I couldn't stop it. I tried, but I couldn't stop it. I should have known something was wrong when she had one yesterday and today. I should have said something. I shouldn't have left her all day."
Jag frowned as Kyp confirmed his earlier concerns about the visions. A sudden surge of guilt matching the Jedi's overcame him. Jag mentally berated himself for not forcing the matter sooner. Now he was helpless to do something for her; now it was too late.
Leia went to reach for the Kyp, but her attention was diverted as Cilghal came through the door to the medward. Behind Leia, Luke and Mara rushed through the front door in a swirl of Jedi robes. Cilghal acknowledged their arrival in unison with the others. The couple silently joined the gathering, both their eyes tried not to stare at the still form of their niece in the other room but rather focus on the healer's analysis.
"I have reviewed Jaina's previous events and determined they were some sort of memory recall. They are definitely not her own, but exhibit a distinctly different pattern than her own memories. The pain can be attributed to the intensity of the recall. Instead of taking the usual amount of time, these memories are received in short pulses concentrating the input she has to absorb as well as the extent of the emotions transferred.
"Unfortunately this last event involved an overload of information and their accompanying emotions, almost like a dam breaking. I believe these memories may in fact belong to Padme Skywalker, which were somehow transferred to Jaina while on Naboo. It is not unheard of for a consciousness to remain in a place after death until it finds an appropriate vessel. Jaina's Force skills make her more susceptible to the emotions. She probably has been able to stifle the emotions to a point, but now her control has broken down."
The healer paused. Han took the opportunity to question her. "So, how do we stop it?"
Cilghal walked over to a small auxiliary terminal in the waiting room and brought up some data. Leia watched the Jedi healer explain the intricacies of the functions of the brain. She tried to focus, but her eyes traveled to the window and were locked on the sight of her daughter laying motionless, trapped in some horrible nightmare. Leia recalled going to her as a child and comforting the small girl after a horrible nightmare, remembered rocking her back to sleep. If only she could do that for her now.
Leia could make out from the discussion there were plenty of unknown variables to resolve before addressing her daughter's predicament. No, not predicament. Jaina is carrying my mother's memories. She is trapped in the despair my own mother endured. If only…
Standing at the edge of the gathering, Leia stepped back and to the side. Without anyone noticing, she slipped through the door to the medward and slowly approached Jaina's side. Leia knew she was not the superior Jedi like her brother or daughter for that matter, but she did have one thing neither of them possessed. She knew what it meant to be a mother, and she knew what it meant to lose a child.
The despair Padme felt at the end must have been unbearable, knowing her children would never know either of their parents. This pain piled on top of all the emotions buffeting Jaina had caused her to lose her own sense of being.
Leia settled on the bed next to Jaina and took her hand. Closing her eyes, she allowed the Force to flow around her and through her. Then Leia reached out for the familiar presence of her daughter. At first all she felt was a swirl of emotions, reaching like soft tendrils to her. They became stronger and more affecting, but Leia held them at bay with her resolve.
Jaina's presence tingled in her mind, resting in the center of the darkest emotions. Leia plunged through the current of the memories, toward the light of her daughter's essence trapped in that place.
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Leia found herself standing in a bedroom, richly decorated. Before the window overlooking a panorama of waterfalls highlighted by the red arms emanating from a setting sun stood the slight form of a woman, her shoulder softly wracking in sobs. Leia approached the woman and tried to make out the object held in her outstretched arms. Her view was shielded by the shadow of the other woman's body.
Drawing near, Leia started at the sight of the hilt of a lightsaber with a deadly aim. The woman's face came into view; it was Jaina, tears streaming down her face. Here was where Jaina's consciousness trapped. Leia moved forward silently until she was behind Jaina. She reached forward and placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder. Her body stiffened with the touch, so Leia reached out with her mind and caressed the Jaina's presence.
A voice scratched from Jaina's throat, tortured by the ravages of her sobs. "Dorme?"
"No Jaina it's me, your mother."
Jaina stood there for a moment, confused by the words. Finally, Jaina grasped the reality of her situation, urged to do so by the soothing feeling Leia transferred through her touch, reaffirming the mother-daughter bond formed before Jaina had ever entered the world.
"Mother?"
"Yes, it's me."
Her shoulders bobbed with renewed intensity, and the sobs quivered from Jaina's lips. Leia fought her own tears as the despair threatened to overtake her, but she held firm. It was the same despair Leia felt when she lost Anakin. She would not lose another child, not today.
"Oh Mom, there's so much pain."
"I know sweetheart. You have to let me help you. Can you do that?"
Jaina's head bobbed up and down almost imperceptibly.
"Jaina, I need you to put down the lightsaber."
Leia waited anxiously for a few seconds before Jaina complied. Jaina's shoulder's softened, and she allowed Leia to pull her around. Once in the comforting embrace, Jaina let the lightsaber drop to the floor as she collapsed into her mother. Her arms wrapped around Leia in return.
"We are going to get out of this together. Padme Skywalker gave you her memories, but I am sure she never intended for them to overcome you like this. If you can feel her pain, then you can feel her strength. She was a strong woman to do all she did for me and Luke, strength only a mother can know. The love of a child makes you stronger than you ever can imagine. I want you to try to find her strength. We will find a way to make it through."
Leia broke her embrace and searched her daughter's liquid eyes. "Can you try for me, honey?"
"Try what?"
"To find that piece of you that is Padme Amidala Skywalker. Her strength is my strength, and in turn is your strength. She's here in your mind, and she's been trying to get out."
Jaina nodded as she sniffled and then straightened her shoulders. Leia tipped her head in encouragement. Jaina focused on her breathing, and it went from ragged to smooth as the Force, along with her mother, provided some comfort.
Jaina recalled the original vision on Naboo, remembering the essence of Padme. She followed the memory like a string through time. It was then that she realized that her mother was right. Padme had never left her. Her grandmother had come to her on Naboo, and she was still here now.
"I've been here all along."
Jaina and Leia turned to the voice together. Leia gasped, "Mother?"
Padme stood by the bed. She stretched her arms up, beckoning Leia to return to a place she had not been for far too long. Leia did not remember her feet taking her there, but the warmth of her mother's arms overwhelmed her senses. Padme whispered softly into her hair.
"My beautiful little girl."
Padme cupped Leia's face in her hands. Her thumbs stroked tears from Leia's cheeks.
"Such an amazing woman you have become, and what a remarkable daughter you have raised."
Leia nodded in agreement, and then both women opened an arm to invite Jaina to join them. Jaina flung herself into their awaiting arms, and three generations of women, Amidala-Skywalker-Solo, laughed and cried in complete joy at the wondrous moment. The weight of the despair began to release its strangling hold on Jaina.
"Oh my," Jaina exclaimed as a feeling of lightheadedness washed over her.
Padme and Leia felt the youngest woman sway in their arms and guided her to sit on the bed. Leia felt the essence of Jaina beginning to fade from this land trapped between time and space. Leia knew her time with her mother was to be cruelly short, but took comfort in knowing she had achieved more than just saving her daughter. She had found that small bit of peace that had eluded her from her earliest memories. Leia had known the love of her mother.
Leia brushed her hand through Jaina's hair. "You found it?"
Jaina smiled almost absentmindedly. "Yes, I found her strength."
"It's time to go then."
Jaina's head nodded slowly. Leia guided her daughter as she fell back on the bed. Jaina had been here once before, in her first vision. It was all so familiar and comforting. She knew she was leaving now. The serene peace was overtaking Jaina, and she welcomed it after the darkness of the despair earlier. She could almost hear Padme's soothing voice.
"The pain of the visions will be gone Jaina, only my memories will remain as a testimony to my time – a gift to guide you. Use them well."
Leia bent to kiss Jaina as she began to fade away, returning to the consciousness of her mind. Leia could not bear to turn around and see Padme one last time before she faded away with her daughter. Leia placed the kiss on Jaina's forehead with her eyes shut.
When she opened her eyes, Leia was not back in the medward, but still in the bedroom. When she glanced down, Jaina was gone. Panic rose in Leia's throat as she spun around to survey the room. Padme was back at the window, facing out at the scenery of the waterfalls. Before Leia could assemble a thought or form words, the deadly hum of a Jedi weapon igniting coincided with the flash of lethal light plunging through her mother.
Leia screamed as she lunged for Padme, willing the weapon off in the Force. The weapon fell silent and the only sound in the room was the thump of Padme hitting the floor. Leia reached her mother in an instant and kneeled next to Padme before rolling the still body over onto her lap. Tears streamed down Leia's cheeks as she rocked the dying woman in her arms.
Gently a finger wiped away a tear from Leia's cheek. "Shhh, child. It is what past – a memory - nothing else."
"Why? Why did you do this?"
"Would you not give your life freely for your child?"
"Yes, in a heartbeat."
"Then you know why."
Leia fought the tightening in her throat. "I just found you and now I lose you."
"I will always be with you, but my time has come to pass on to a different place. You must promise me something before I go."
Leia nodded. "I will do whatever you ask."
"Jaina has a difficult road ahead, with many difficult choices. Her choices may isolate her, and she will not be able to share her struggles. This is why she was tested; this was her lesson. She had to learn to draw on all her strengths; she had to learn how much she could endure. She may not be able to confide in you, but she will need your support."
Padme gasped in pain. "She will need for you to be a mother who does not judge, but loves unconditionally. She will need this more than anything else. Now she has everything she needs to accomplish her task, including the gifts I gave her – my memory and my strength. Jaina has every weapon necessary to succeed, to deliver the final blow, to be the Sword of the Jedi."
Padme stiffened in Leia's arms and her eyes rolled.
"Mother, I love you. I will do as you ask, for she is my child."
Padme's eyes fluttered open. "I love you, my beautiful daughter."
Padme's eyes did not shut rather remained on Leia's face as they became sightless. Leia's lungs struggled for breath before speaking her final words to Padme. "Thank you."
Leia pulled Padme's lifeless body to her and held her tight. The touch of a hand on her shoulder startled Leia out of her misery.
"It is time for your mother to come with me dear child."
Leia knew who it was without seeing a face. "Father?"
"Yes, Leia, it's me."
He knelt down beside her and Leia looked up at the face of a young man, the face Padme would have known, free of scars and the ravages of time. Anakin placed a hand on Leia's cheek.
"My dear child, if I could take back all your suffering I would."
The sadness of his words pooled in his eyes. He turned his gaze to Padme and smoothed the hair back from her forehead tenderly.
"I thought any good left in me died with her, but I was wrong. Your brother found it in me. That good was still the part of our love I kept in me. It was the love that made you and Luke. The designs of the Force had been exceptionally cruel so she was allowed this one chance to see you. Unfortunately, Jaina suffered for the task, but her pain has now ended, all she has left are the memories."
Anakin scooped Padme up in his arms and stood. Leia rose with him, touching Padme's face with her fingers before gently leaving a kiss on her lips.
"Goodbye dear Leia. Our time has come to go."
Anakin began to shimmer an ethereal blue and silver. The light became so bright Leia had to shield her eyes. Her father's voice came to her ears.
"Go home, Leia. Go home."
Leia shut her eyes against the glare as it became so bright it pained her eyes.
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Jacen ran down the hall of the medcenter. He has been on the Mon Adapyne working on battle meld strategies with several other Jedi from Starfighter Command, including Corran Horn, and members of Fleet Command. They were in the middle of a heated discussion over chain of command issues when the feeling had hit him. The place where Jaina existed had burst into an angry pain. The other Jedi had felt it as well, but not nearly to the degree Jacen had.
Shortly after the feeling erupted, Jaina had become silent to him. He felt no pain or emotion. He had not been able to contact her, and she was unreachable, not dead, just silent.
Jacen had run to his X-wing and blasted down to the surface. His legs burned and his chest begged for air, despite his Jedi training, by the time he had reached the door to Cilghal's ward.
Jacen burst through the door and found a gathering huddled around a data terminal in the outer waiting room. He scanned the faces, noting his mother's inconspicuous absence, but still her felt her somewhere nearby. His father was the first to greet him as Jacen's eyes went to the interior room searching for his sister.
"Jacen, we're glad you are here son. Cilghal just finished explaining the intricacies of Jaina's condition. Maybe you can help."
There was no need to explain further, Han knew Jacen understood through the twin bond that something horrible had happened to his sister. Jacen registered the sight of his mother sitting over his sister in the next room, locked in a meditative state. As he probed for a sense of his mother's actions, the essence of Jaina reignited in his mind like a small flame growing with each passing second. Jacen smiled.
"I think Mom already took care of it."
Han spun to see what his son was observing and swore at the sight of his wife sitting next to his daughter. He knew in an instant Leia had gotten some crazy notion in her head. "Son of a Sith!"
Han broke for the door, but was beaten there by the Jedi reflexes of his son. The son and father raced into the room, intent on reaching Jaina's side. Cilghal addressed the others before they followed.
"Please allow me to examine Jaina first. You all will have an opportunity to visit as soon as I know she is fine."
The concerned crowd reluctantly complied, edging over in the direction of the observation window to satisfy their curiosity.
As Jacen reached his sister's bed he could sense her awaken. She reached for her mother as soon as her eyes opened and shook Leia's arm. "Mom?"
Leia did not respond, but rather slumped over at the pressure. Jacen caught his mother and lifted her up. In one swift movement, he deposited her on the adjacent medbunk behind him. Cilghal went to Leia's side first and tried to reach a meditative state to allow her to perform an examination. Even for the Master healer, the frantic demands of Han Solo and the increasingly incessant pleas from Jaina to her mother made it a difficult task. Before Cilghal achieved the focus she desired, the faint voice of Leia called to her daughter.
"Jaina…Jaina…it's all right. I'm fine."
Leia pushed with her arm between the bodies blocking her view of her daughter. Her finger's stretched beyond their length until they met Jaina's touch. In the touch, Jaina's sense of urgency quieted and the calls ceased. Her original panic when Leia did not awake with her from the unknown had been quelled.
At the sight of both women awake, Han rejoiced, grabbing both their hands, one in each of his. "Don't do that to me again ladies. My heart is simply too old for such excitement."
Leia pulled against his hand to wrestle her way up to a sitting position. "You were not too old to spend all night out gambling with Lando last week, if my memory serves me. I think you'll live."
Han released Jaina's hand and moved to sit next to his wife on the bunk. He gave Leia a big hug and silently thanked the Force for her safety.
"So whatever crazy Sithspawned idea got into your brain must have worked. Jaina looks as feisty as ever."
The couple laughed at the sight of Jaina pushing away the hands of Jacen and Cilghal as they fought to keep her reclined. Jacen plumped a pillow behind her before backing away. Jaina was protesting vehemently the entire time.
"I'm fine, stop all the fussing. It's enough to drive a girl mad."
Cilghal tried to interject. "Let me examine you to ease everyone else's minds."
"You can examine me just fine sitting up, besides it's all over. Grandmother said the painful visions were done. Right Mom?"
Leia felt a lump rising in her throat at the mention of Padme. "Yes…yes, she did. She said the painful memories had passed."
Han, not satisfied with the assurances from the two stubborn women, interceded on Cilghal's behalf. "That is all well and good, but don't you think Master Cilghal should have the benefit of examining you herself?" Jaina opened her mouth to protest but Han kept on. "You know Wedge is going to want a full report no matter how good you think you feel before returning you to active flight status."
That was all Jaina needed to hear to silence any further protests and force her into complying. Jaina settled back against the pillow. The two Solo men exchanged conspiratorial grins over his victory before Han began ushering Jacen to the door with him.
"Let's give the Master some room son."
Leia swung her legs over the side of the bed in an attempt to follow the men. Han spun on his heel and stopped her with a warning hand.
"Not you beautiful lady. Back to the bed for you. You're next."
Leia started to object but thought better of it by the look on her husband's face.
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Jag watched from the observation window as first Han and Leia, then Jacen and Tahiri and finally Luke and Mara had been allowed to visit with Jaina after she had been declared healthy and settled into a medbunk in a quieter corner of the medward. Cilghal insisted after a thorough exam that Jaina stay for observations throughout the night.
Mara and Luke both gave Jaina a long hug before heading for the door. Jag and Kyp were the only two left waiting to see Jaina. Both had been somewhat reluctant to talk, rather each of them waited anxiously on the edge of their respective seats. Rane had already escorted Tahiri back to her quarters and Han and Jacen had taken Leia back to the Solo apartment, insisting Leia get some rest.
Jag rose and headed to the door; confident he would be let in next. Mara came through the door first and stopped before the young colonel. She glanced past to Kyp before addressing Jag.
"Sorry Jag. Jaina asked to see Kyp next."
The disappointment could not be kept off Jag's face as Kyp rushed past him into the medward. Mara put a reassuring hand on Jag's shoulder as the door to the medward slid shut.
"I'm sure it won't be long. She's doing fine."
Jag acknowledged Mara with a slight dip of the head before she removed her hand. The Skywalker couple silently slid out of the waiting room, leaving Jag to his thoughts as he watched Kyp sit next to Jaina on the medbunk.
The pain Jag felt earlier at the sight of Jaina lying lifeless in his arms had been more than he thought he could bear. The only thing that kept him going was the fact the Jaina needed him to. As he had run to the medcenter, Jag felt his heart gripped with an ice-cold fear – the fear of losing Jaina. The cold had been replaced by a glowing warmth at the sight of Jaina awake. Now his body craved to touch her, to allow his heart through his fingers know what his eyes already saw – Jaina was alive and whole.
At the same time Jag wanted to scold her for deceiving him about the visions in the first place, to make her see that she could lean on him in her time of need. Somehow, it did not seem important at the moment. He was just thankful to know she would be fine. It was a matter that could keep until another time.
Now Jag was stuck in the waiting room alone, watching Jaina speak to Kyp. Jag watched as Jaina took Kyp's hand in one of hers and cupped the other hand to his cheek. She smiled sweetly at the Jedi Master after she exchanged words with him. Finally Jaina leaned up and wrapped Kyp in a tight embrace, which he returned with as much strength.
Jag's thoughts became decidedly foreign and uncharacteristic for the reserved pilot. Jag was the one who loved Jaina more than words; he was the one who should have been in there first and never left her side. For the first time in his life, Jag experienced the emotion of jealousy, and he did not like the taste of it at all.
Suddenly Kyp was rising, and Jag could not wait one more moment. He sprinted to the door and swiped his hand over the activator pad. Jag squirted through the opening door, turning his shoulders sideways to fit through. Jag glanced at Kyp quickly, catching his eye before continuing past the exiting Jedi. Neither man's face hinted to their usual camaraderie but rather reflected an uneasy sentiment both failed to define.
Jaina beamed up at Jag and held her hands out to take his. Jag bypassed her hands, as the hiss of the door closing sounded, and pulled Jaina into a fierce hug. He held onto Jaina like she was a drowning man's lifeline, reveling in the warm feel of her body in his arms, moving and breathing and returning his touch.
He spoke into her hair. "I was so scared I was going to lose you."
Jaina pushed him away. "Jagged Fel! Stop saying such nonsense. Between you and Kyp I feel like I was close to dying, which is the farthest from the truth."
The mention of Kyp's name brought an instant spark of jealousy within Jag. "What were you talking to Durron about? I thought you would have wanted to see me before him." Jag regretted the words the second they sprung from his mouth as he sat next to her on the bed.
Jaina was surprised by the feelings emanating from Jag and frowned. Her visible displeasure squashed his emotions flat.
"I asked Kyp in first so I could spend more time with you. It wouldn't have been fair to leave him sitting out there while I doted on you, now would it?"
Jag's eyes dropped at the hint of reprimand in her voice, and the honest fact that she had been thinking of him when she spoke to Kyp first. For that reason, her next words did not engender the same ugly emotion like he thought they would.
"Besides, I could feel that Kyp was really having a hard time emotionally through our bond. He felt like … umm … How can I say this? He felt responsible."
Jag was surprised by the revelation. "Why would he feel like that?"
Jaina did not feel like elaborating, especially after Jag's previous brush with jealousy so she brushed off the question. "I don't know. He just did."
Jaina placed her hand on top of Jag's hand that rested next to his leg. Jag allowed his eyes to roam up to her face as a warm tingling traced its way up his arm at her touch. She smiled at him, and Jag noted the pale hue of her skin and the shadows under her eyes.
In a serious tone he questioned her. "Are you okay? I mean are there going to be any more of these visions?"
The look on Jag's face almost brought tears to Jaina's eyes. She squeezed his hand. "No they're done. I'll tell you about everything some time when I am not exhausted. It suffices to say that I never want to endure something like that again. Thankfully, all I have left are Padme's memories and for that I would go through it all again."
Jaina realized Jag's free hand was absentmindedly roaming over her, touching her leg, brushing a tendril of hair, stroking her knee, while the other hand had turned to return her hold with great strength. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on Jag's lips, her free hand going to his cheek. Jaina could feel the quiver in Jag's lips beneath hers as she closed her eyes.
Jaina pulled away slowly and opened her eyes to see his eyes brimming with tears. She traced her finger up from his cheek to follow the scar over his right eye and into his hair. Her hand fell down through Jag's hair and stopped back at his cheek, her thumb caught a single tear as it rolled down his cheek. The moment was magical; every dream Jag imagined, every hope for the two of them he possessed shot between them in their lover's bond, one Jaina could tap into with the Force. Jaina saw distinct flashes of images: a house, a silver ship, dark-haired children running in a field.
Jag unknowingly broke the moment by looking away as a thought caught his attention. He reached into his pocket. "I kept this safe for you."
Jaina watched as his emerging hand revealed the pendant necklace. Her hand thoughtlessly went to her bare neck. She dipped forward to allow Jag to fix the clasp behind her neck. As she sat back up, Jaina fluffed her hair out from under the necklace before falling back on the pillow.
Jag watched as she blinked slowly several times. "Time for you to get some rest, love of mine."
Jag brushed the hair back from her forehead in a soothing gesture. Jaina grabbed his hand. "Don't go," she pleaded.
"I won't. I'll stay until you fall asleep."
Jaina nodded as she nestled down into the bed. After pulling up the covers, Jag drew a chair over. Once seated he cradled Jaina's nearest hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. Mere moments after shutting her eyes, Jaina was succumbing to the exhaustion that had been nagging her since waking from the coma.
Jag remained by her side silently thanking the Force for the happy ending of the day. He did not leave Jaina's side until ushered out by Cilghal later in the evening when she came back to check on her patient.
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End of Chapter 15
TKL/jj