Collecting the Pieces of a Broken Mirror

' Thought '

"Speech"

Chapter 8: Lost, but not completely Forgotten

She took a step in the superheroes' direction and her eyes glowed white. Raven was ready to use her powers and make the car stop, but something prevented her from doing that. Pain. A wave of pain washed her head, and she felt like her brains were about to liquefy. Hardly breathing, she raised her trembling hands and pressed them against her temples as an attempt to make the pain stop. Useless. It was dominating her but Raven simply let out a moan. Pain was something she was very used to, and it was not taking her down. NOT... taking her...

Raven heard nothing but her own hard breath. Fortunately the pain slowly disappeared and she stood again.

'What was that?', she thought as she noticed the car as not anymore in the road. The five superheroes were not there as well. 'Weird... where could they have gone so fast? Well, none of my business.'

"I have to find something else to do, now.", she said to herself. Raven took off and flew over the city. Her face was as deadpan as ever, but inside she was worried. Maybe despaired.

Landing in front of the hospital, she unconsciously sat on the same sidewalk Beast Boy had seated on two years ago on a similar evening. She didn't have a place to go, and even if she did she couldn't remember it. She wasn't able to go back to Azerath, so she had to find a way of living there,

Maybe if she walked in the city streets she'd remember something. She'd have a glimpse of her past. She'd pick up a piece of her memory, like someone collecting the pieces of a broken mirror. Maybe. She'd do no good sitting there, so, feeling a bit more encouraged, she stood and crossed the street.

If Raven had lingered there a minute more, she'd see a green good-looking young man looking shiftily around and entering the hospital with a beautiful bouquet of black roses. But she didn't linger. And her worried were so many she had forgotten that, exactly three hundred Azerathrian years before, a young woman gave birth to a little girl who she called Raven.

oOo

"I'm telling you guys! She wasn't there!", said the green lad.

"And what were you doing at that hospital when we were supposed to have be out in a date, Beast Boy?", asked a blonde girl, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Terra, please! I know your weekly hanging out is very important, but now we have to worry about Raven...", said Starfire in an almost tearful tone.

"Ok, sorry, sorry!"

"The thing is, we asked them to call us if Raven showed any signs of consciousness but they didn't call!", cried Robin.

"The nurse said she did it herself. And she said she called us yesterday", replied Beast Boy.

"But no phone rang here in T-Tower, BB!"

"Actually, Cy...", Beast Boy said, scratching his chin. "Terra and I were... watching TV last night and the phone rang. You answered it, right T?"

Terra blushed as four pair of eyes turned on her.

"Y-y-yeah, of course! But it was only a weirdo who had called the wrong number, wasn't the hospital, guys."

"But then, where is friend Raven? We have to find her quickly!"

"Star," said Robin "if we go look for her tonight we'll get nothing, it's already dark."

"But-"

"Raven knows how to take care of herself, we know that. We'll go after her tomorrow morning and we'll find her, I promise."

Starfire's eyes were tearful and she looked down. Robin embraced her. Cyborg mumbled something about kicking and punching and went upstairs, probably to the training room. Beast Boy went to his room and Terra went to the roof.

Robin looked at Starfire through his mask and sat on the couch, followed by a weepy Starfire. The alien girl snuggled into Robin's arms, seeking comfort. He embraced her once again.

"Robin?", she whispered after a few minutes.

"Hm?"

"Do you think we acted correctly when we ceased visiting Raven? When we left her all by herself?"

"It was the best we could do, Star... If Slade knew Raven was in that hospital, vulnerable as she was, Raven'd be in real danger."

"But... she was our friend. I mean, she IS our friend. And friends should not abandon each other. I am worried about her... I think she did not come back because she is very angry at us.", she asked, her voice trembling. "Did we act correctly?"

"I hope we did, Star." He answered, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. "I really hope we did."

oOo

He grumbled as he hit the punch bag.

Cyborg then stopped, panting. He growled and hit it once more, as strong as he could. Sand spread all over the floor.

He smashed the metal wall with his fist, trying to put away the anger that burned inside him. He was not angry because Raven did not come back at the tower when she woke up. Cyborg's anger was against himself.

Why didn't she go back to the tower? He knew the answer. It was obviously because they had banished her from it. Trying to put away the pain her coma caused them and trying to save her from Slade made them take that decision: let her be. How could them? How could them let her... be?

"We saved her! We did our best to be with her, but no matter how hard we tried Slade knew what we were thinking. He would have killed her. We saved her!", shouted his conscience.

"But now we lost her."

"If she hadn't wakened up, would you still feel like this? Feel guilty?" asked the voice inside his head, slyly.

"I hate myself, cuz the answer is no."

oOo

"Happy Birthday, Raven... and sorry I had to read your diary to find this out.", Beast Boy said, looking blankly to the world outside his window.

He turned and took the dark bouquet before sitting on his bed, staring at it.

"Are you angry with me?", Beast Boy asked the black roses as if they were Raven.

"It's... funny the way I always mess things up. Terra is always saying that to me. She thinks I'm funny. And I don't know if that's an eulogy or not. I mean, Terra is nice, she has just acting weirdly since last month or so. I like Terra. Very much..."

His eyes widened.

"I... no! Why am I so nervous? It's just because you woke up...? Is it? Sorry, Rae... I didn't want to do leave you..."

His window opened and a gust of wind blew the black flowers away. Their soft petals scattered all over his room and he eyed them lovingly. The black roses made him think of Raven... despite their thorns, the dark petals were soft and exhaled a sweet perfume.

He heard someone knocking at his door. "BB, it's me, Terra. Open this door." Beast Boy reached for the buttons which would make the door open and pressed them. Terra burst in.

"Hey Beast Boy. I wanna know WHY you didn't show up or our date, and I wanna know it NOW."

"Terra, sit down.", he said calmly, pointing at his bed. She sat and opened her mouth but Beast Boy spoke first.

"Look, you didn't have the chance to know Raven, but she was great. At least I think she was. When I was on my way to meet you in the restaurant, I saw these black roses and, since today is her birthday, I thought I could take those to her, I thought she would like to see them if she woke up today... I bought the flowers and went to the hospital, and I was doing it as quick as I could so you wouldn't have to wait for me... So, I'm sorry I messed up again..."

"Oh, you always do!", she shook her blonde head and her hair waved as if it was a curtain in the wind. Her blue eyes met his and he saw frustration inside them 'But why?'. He thought. 'What did I do?'

Terra looked at the floor. "How come you bought flowers... you bought ROSES to her and I never got a single leave from your hands?"

Beast Boy looked hurt.

"I tried once... but I think you said you didn't like flowers."

"Shut up...", she said as she kissed him.

Beast Boy was used to this. She always kissed him in the end. He could foresee her actions, and it bored him. She was the one on command. Always. And he was not the one who was going to question it. The sick part of it all was that every time she touched him like that... every time she guided his hand to her waist... every time she smiled evilly and sat on top of him like that...

He imagined she was Raven... and wished it was her.

R-Raven?

"T, stop it. I don't think I..."

"Beast Boy, that's your problem. Shut up. You think too much. Wanna know something? Don't do it. Don't.", she said as she kissed him again.

oOo

Nothing new came to her mind as she crossed streets. No memories of the time she had spent in each of them. She sighed. It wouldn't be good spending the night on the streets, the weather was growing colder.

Raven approached a field. Projectors were placed up on lamp-posts and illuminated the place. About twenty young man were playing a game she didn't recognize, and they were being watched by a small group of youngsters.

Ten lads dressed in black shirts and red trousers, while the other ten wore a white and blue uniform. The small audience went crazy when one of the players kicked a black and white ball into a crossbar. She didn't understand what was the meaning of that. Why would people cheer so much because of a ball someone couldn't hold?

Intrigued, she came closer and sat on an empty corner of the field, leaning against a fence and watching the weird game.

Raven looked up to the stars. It had been a long time since she didn't see them... she felt the cold nocturnal breeze and shivered, but she didn't feel the time pass by.

The small audience wasn't there anymore. A few players were still kicking the ball to one another, like having some fun before going home. One of them kicked the ball in her direction and Raven used her powers to hold it.

"Thanks, doll", said the boy who came for it.

She said nothing while she handed him the ball and turned away.

Jump City was quite interesting. From many places she heard resounding music and dazzling colored light escaping though dirty windows. Raven placed her hands in her pockets as an attempt to warm them up, and felt something inside it.

"Hum... coins? Notes?". A sudden thought came into her mind: 'Claire...'

Raven felt her stomach demanding food. It'd me about midnight now and she had barely touched any food in her late lunch.

She stopped at a tiny, run-down tea house and asked for her herbal tea. It should be enough for her. She sat on a dark corner, as usual, and slowly took sips of her tea. There were some people talking on the corner, but she didn't pay any attention to them. She was thinking of her future. Maybe she'd fly away of that city. It'd be better... maybe she'd find a clue about her past on Earth in another place.

She'd wait until morning... but why to wait? What was she going to lose if she left that moment.

"Nothing..." she mumbled to herself.

Raven finished her tea. Her delicate hands ran through her long, beautiful purple hair. She was ready to go.

The goth stood and paid for her drink. She ignored the conversation two old men were having and headed for the door. It was a great night, perfect for a flight. But still, she could used the shadows and move faster.

Suddenly, she picked up some words the old men's hoarse voices said.

"... Teen Titans..."

She felt something stir inside her, but didn't know what. Why had the "Teen Titans" caused her that strange feeling?

She turned and went for the men.

"Excuse me...", she began.