Chapter Fifteen: A New Day, A New Way
Life intruded into Sarah's much-needed sleep around 10:30 the next morning. Very distantly came the usual early-Saturday noises: the faint sound of television cartoons, a patter of steps as Toby retrieved something from his room, the low call of her father's voice and the higher reply from Karen. Sarah's mind didn't recognize the sounds for a few hazy moments. She was used to quiet upon waking; if there was any noise at all, it was birdsong in the garden below her balcony. Her brain clicked through several scenarios before she realized the truth: she was back home. In the Aboveground. In her father's house.
This was when Sarah blinked and looked at the red-numbered clock across the room. Time to get up, though it was the last thing she wanted to do. When had she finally fallen asleep? Two, three, four in the morning? Ugh, she groaned mentally. I feel like I've been hit by a bus.
The girl dragged herself out of bed, stiffly, and pushed to her feet. A stumble across the room brought her to her dresser drawers. She stared into them blankly. Jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. How... odd. Sarah gathered the necessary garments before carrying everything to the bathroom. The hot water of the shower spray washed a layer of numbness away—after twenty minutes she felt more alive if not less conflicted. More human, her mind prompted first before rejecting the word sharply. Never human, not anymore.
Sarah dressed mechanically, leaving her hair twisted up in a towel-turban. Stretch-denim and cotton felt constricting after a month of voluminous skirts and high-waisted bodices.
Would nothing be easy ever again?
A hand towel rubbed a hole in the fogged-up mirror, just enough room for Sarah to look herself in her eyes. Such mundane clothing and surroundings helped muffle her new brightness. There was nothing more unflattering than an tiny, old, ugly-tiled bathroom. Her skin was still clear, not quite translucent, her lips red and eyes limpid, but not unreasonably so. Hopefully context would help make her look more normal. Even if people did notice a change in her appearance, what could they say? You're looking nice, Sarah. Did you sleep well, Sarah? They definitely wouldn't ask if she'd transcended to a higher level of being. Or whatever the hell she'd actually done.
"Not like you have any choice, m'girl," she muttered to her reflection. "Can't do that pretty trick he uses Aboveground." No need to clarify who he was, but she was reluctant to use names.
Go say good morning to your family, she commanded herself firmly. Go eat breakfast. NOW.
Bare feet were just as quiet as her slippers had been. Sarah crept into the kitchen apprehensively, stomach twisting into knots. It was empty. She could see Karen through the windows, kneeling in a flower bed. Okay. Food sounded unappetizing; she glanced into the family room.
Deep breath.
"G'morning," greeted Toby, looking up from the TV with big blue eyes. Sarah's heart twisted, to match her stomach—impulsively, she bent down to kiss Toby on the top of his head. He dodged away, smirking at her. Of course he hadn't missed her. She hadn't been gone. She'd eaten dinner with him last night.
"I see that Sleeping Beauty had arisen," said her father ironically from the corner, hidden behind an open newspaper. Sarah summoned her voice, rusty as it was.
"Hey, Dad," she said hoarsely. Her feet rooted into the carpet, leaving her standing aimlessly.
"I didn't hear you come in last night. Stay out very late?"
Hmm. This sounded dangerous. His voice was deceptively calm. Better tread carefully.
"Not really. I came in around eleven, I think. I was surprised that everyone was already asleep."
"Left before the ruckus, then?"
"...the ruckus?" Sarah tried to smother a wince. He'd heard about the police at the concert, then.
"I think you know what I mean." His voice took a sharp turn. "I guess I should be glad that we didn't have to pick you up from the police station."
Sarah searched for a good response but found none. Robert Williams lowered his paper slowly, taking the time to refold it on his lap. He looked up at his teenage daughter. A beat passed while Sarah held her breath. His eyes widened slightly, a rim of white showing and disappearing quickly. A long moment of silence and he seemed to gather himself.
"You're eighteen now," he began, as if trying to explain away any change. Thinking he just hadn't noticed until now. "I suppose you'll do what you want. But Sarah, please, I don't want to see you in trouble. Dinah's a good girl, but I don't like you hanging out with Aaron. Not if this is the kind of crowd he hangs out with."
"What crowd?" asked Sarah. Her eyebrows lowered. "What are you trying to say?"
"Don't take that tone with me, young lady. Answer me truly—were you drinking last night?"
"No," she exclaimed, voice strangled. "Dad! I'm smarter than that."
"Did you know that there was alcohol there?"
"I... yes, I saw a few people," a lot of people, "drinking, but they weren't causing any trouble. I tried to ignore it." At least she was pretty sure she had. The memories of the night had been rather overwhelmed by the past month in the Underground.
"They were underage, Sarah. That's illegal, you realize?"
The pedantic tone of his voice was beginning to grate on her nerves. Yes, Dad, I realize that. Who cares. I had more important things to worry about, like, oh, being kidnapped. Her necklace hung heavy beneath her concealing shirt, full-to-brimming with her secrets. She wanted to shout them from the rooftops. She had come home to reassure her family; now, of course, they were completely oblivious. Any sacrifice she had made, Sarah realized, would be known only to herself. No congratulations or thanks would be waiting for her. No pats-on-the-head or calming advice. Sarah would have to stand on her own two feet.
"I am sorry if I've done something wrong," she said in a clipped voice. "I refrained from breaking the law myself. I left quickly when I saw the police on the way. I was not arrested. I fail to see the problem."
The muscles in Robert's jaw tightened and shifted.
"You fail to see the problem? Perhaps your attitude could use a little adjustment. I hope you didn't have any plans for the weekend, because you're staying here and rethinking some of your ideas. The phone is off-limits too. Is that clear?"
"Perfectly, sir," Sarah replied frigidly. She was standing with a straight back, arms across her chest and feet firm on the carpet. She regarded her father with cool eyes, unaware of the picture she presented. Or who she looked like. "I guess I'll go start on my homework."
Mr. Williams stared back at her, mouth slightly ajar. If he had responded with anger, she would have just walked away. Instead he looked lost, bewildered. She belatedly remembered her new crystalline appearance, hard and distant and cold. His expression knocked a hole in Sarah's aloofness—she slumped down and her arms fell to her sides.
"What ever happened to my little girl?" he breathed, the words slipping from his lips thoughtlessly.
"I had to grow up someday," Sarah whispered back, stricken. There was nothing else she could say. She turned around and walked out of the room quickly, not willing to continue the conversation. The Williams had never been a family that discussed feelings easily. But her father had made a valid point.
I'm an adult now, she thought as she retreated back to her bedroom. And she was. Suddenly, strangely, surprisingly. Not because she had lost her virginity—sex, while no doubt important, certainly wasn't a cure for childishness. No, something else was causing the old feeling in the back of her head. Perhaps making that final step into the Aboveground had done it, choosing the honorable course when it would have been so easy to just give in.
Well, whatever it was, I am definitely grounded.The thought was wearying, more insulting than infuriating. This was the reward for her bravery. Ah, well. It was probably for the best; Sarah would need some time to settle in before she was ready to talk to her friends. Now she had a proper excuse for ignoring them.
The rest of the day passed by with little to comment on. The only tense moments occurred while Sarah was having lunch—Karen came into the kitchen and saw her step-daughter for the first time since she had come home. The older woman stopped and stared after Sarah turned to wave, face going from mildly-astounded to thoughtful to stern and worried. The last expression was one that Sarah had come to know and fear; it usually heralded parental urges on Karen's part.
The room was otherwise empty. Karen looked around surreptitiously before approaching and settling in a chair across from Sarah. Karen leaned forward and made eye-contact. Sarah forced herself to stay still.
"I hear you had a little disagreement with your father this morning," her stepmother began in a low tone, looking understanding and and concerned and sympathetic.
"Mmph," commented Sarah. Her eyes edged toward the patio doors. No, escaping would only encourage her.
"You know that he and I trust you, Sarah, we're just worried. It's what parents are for." Again with the eye contact. Sarah fidgeted. She grabbed her glass of lemonade and took a swig so she wouldn't be forced to respond.
"I want you to know that you can trust us, Sarah. Maybe you'd be more comfortable talking with your mother, but I am always here for you if you need an open ear."
This was beginning to creep her out.
"I don't think you were drinking," continued Karen after Sarah made no move to reply. Her voice was slow and deliberate, infused with caring. "I know you know better than that. But I was a teenager too, once upon a time." This with a forced laugh. Sarah's grin was sickly. "So I need to ask, Sarah—have you and Aaron, you know... has your relationship become... physical?"
DEAR GOD.
Sarah spewed her mouthful of lemonade back into her cup, thankfully preventing her from shrieking her thoughts out loud. An expression of absolute horror crossed her face as she stared at Karen. Was she... could she..? Sadly, yes. Her stepmother was trying to ask her if she had sex with Aaron. Sarah very, very much wanted to melt into the floor.
Why is there never anybody around to spirit me away when I actually need it?
"No!" exclaimed Sarah vehemently in a shrill voice. "No! What... why are you asking me that?!"
"I'm not angry at you, Sarah, I just need to make sure you're safe. You do know to use the proper, er, protection?" Karen continued.
"I didn't sleep with him," Sarah said between gritted teeth. Karen looked tolerant and unconvinced.
"I'm not stupid, Sarah, and as much as you might like to ignore it, I do have experience in these things. There's a certain look that people get..." Karen trailed off when Sarah looked increasingly pained.
A certain look..?
Once again, Sarah remembered that she was kinda-sorta glowing. Maybe that's what she means? I guess, if Dinah showed up looking all shiny, I might wonder... Okay, fine. Embarrassing, but better than the truth.And while she hadn't slept with Aaron, she had kind of... well... really slept with the Goblin King. Not as though that had anything to do with her present state. But it did leave her without any sort of high-ground, and it made the conversation a lot more uncomfortable.
Sarah scrunched her hands up in her hair and summoned her courage.
"I swear that we've done nothing. But, I promise, I will be intelligent if I ever... do. Okay?" She looked at Karen beseechingly, hoping that it was the answer her stepmother was waiting for. The older woman nodded grudgingly and rose.
"Good to hear it." She hesitated before saying, "And thank you for listening. I'd... always hoped that we could get along someday." Karen smiled weakly before turning and walking out of the room.
Sarah was left staring down at her food, feeling vaguely ashamed. Karen was a good person.
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Saturday night was spent in joyous communion with a pepperoni pizza and Sunday was spent wrestling with homework—and trying to relearn concepts she hadn't dealt with in weeks. Troublesome thoughts of the Underground were kept in abeyance. Eventually Monday morning arrived, heralded by the obnoxious buzz of Sarah's alarm clock. She got ready for school with a lump of dread sitting in her belly. Now was the hard part—she had fooled her family, but could she fool her friends?
Around 7:00, Sarah moseyed out to the front porch with her bookbag on her back. There was a familiar feeling in the air, one she recognized from years at school. It was May; the leaves were on the trees, the sun was up, and a warm breeze stirred the air. The hazy promise of a hot summer morning lay thick over everything, with its anticipation of coming freedom.
No one else was around. Sarah looked down and conjured a crystal in her hand, feeling immensely relieved when the shining orb appeared. It was empty, nothing more than a shell of magic; she slipped it in with her school books. Doing the magic made her feel more like herself. She didn't know why.
Dinah's car came sputtering around the corner a moment later, coming to an abrupt halt in front of the driveway. Sarah could clearly picture the girl slamming on her breaks as she reached the house.
Here we go, she thought wildly. Buck up, girlie.
Dinah turned to give Sarah a significant look as she climbed into the car, which quickly morphed into a double take.
"Hurry up, kiddo, we got places to be."
"Do tell?" replied Sarah wryly; she grasped at side door convulsively as Dinah squealed away from the curb.
"You bet. We're skipping first block and going to Starbucks—we need to talk."
Uh-oh.
"Talk about what?" she asked, face guarded. Dinah kept her eyes on the road.
"Lots of stuff. 'specially since your Dad wouldn't let me talk to you when I called. You had us worried... but never mind. We'll talk after we get some caffeine."
A welcome reprieve. Sarah spent the next ten minutes getting her story straight; too soon, though, they had parked, ordered, and sat down in a secluded corner of the coffee-shop. At this time of the morning, there was little sit-in business; most people were taking stuff to go. Privacy was to be found in abundance.
"So," said Dinah seriously, fixing her fierce brown gaze on her best friend. Sarah raised a single eyebrow.
"You're looking good," Dinah said. Then she shook her head. "No, ignore that. Where'd you go on Friday night? We couldn't find you anywhere, we were kind of freakin' out. You can't just disappear on people like that!"
"I'm sorry," replied Sarah, twisting her fingers in her lap. Her voice was truly regretful. "I walked out of the crowd to get some fresh air, towards my tree. The oak, right? Anyway, next thing I know, the parking lot's full of police cars. I saw them rounding everyone up and, well, I decided I should probably get out of there. It was instinctive, I swear. I figured that you guys got caught up in the mess, so I just ran back home. I really didn't mean to scare you, if I did. I just didn't want to have to call Dad from the police station."
"Huh," said Dinah, not looking particularly mollified. "They weren't arresting everyone, you know. It was pretty clear who'd been drinking and who hadn't. Me and the guys got out pretty fast. You should have called us after getting home, at least."
"Look, I'm sorry, really," repeated Sarah. She was getting a little desperate. "I guess I wasn't thinking. I was exhausted that night, so I went to bed after getting back. And of course my Dad jumped to conclusions the next day, so I was grounded." Sarah shivered theatrically, trying to distract her friend. "And I had this really disturbing talk with Karen where she tried to ask me if I'd done it with Aaron. I think that's what they cared about more than drinking."
"Have you?" asked Dinah impishly. Sarah shot her a withering glare.
"Okay, fine. But Sarah, are you sure that's all you did that night?" The redheaded girl lost her smile and an odd tone entered her voice. The speculative look was back.
"Why all the questions?" Sarah replied, worrying again. Dinah was looking really strange.
"Did you maybe... see anything... weird?" Dinah flushed a little bit but didn't let her eyes waver. Sarah's brow furrowed and something occurred to her, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. In case she was wrong.
"What do you mean by 'weird'?"
"Oh... just... Sarah, don't you tell talk to Ben or Aaron about this, they'd think I was crazy. But I thought you might... well. Okay. Did you see any lights in the woods? Or maybe some people that didn't quite fit, or... oh, forget it." The last part was muttered, Dinah's face going even brighter. "I swear that I wasn't drinking."
My, my, thought Sarah, not sure whether she was very relieved or very frightened.
"No," said Sarah slowly. Dinah ducked her head.
"Oh. I guess I was..."
"No!" the other girl exclaimed. "I meant—yes, I did see them too!"
Dinah jumped, head popping up and eyes staring feverishly. Her flush was abruptly replaced by pasty white.
"You did?" she whispered.
"Yes!"
Much to Sarah's horror, Dinah's chin started to tremble and her eyes began to tear up. Sarah reached across the table to grasp her friend's hands tightly.
"Don't do that! Dinah! What's wrong?"
"I really wanted to b-believe!" Dinah wailed, a tear trailing down her cheek. "I've read the books all my life and w-watched the movies and I always wished I would s-see something, oh my God I always hoped I could see something..." She dissolved into real tears and Sarah began to freak out. She shoved all her napkins toward the other girl, moving to sit directly next to her.
"You did this time, really," whispered Sarah into her ear, "I promise. It's okay."
"What did you see?" asked Dinah fiercely. "Tell me."
"Fairies," replied Sarah, still speaking low. "I saw fairies flying in little balls of light, and other things—I saw a woman with scarlet hair and scaly arms, I saw a man who was almost a tree, the fae of the Aboveground. I'd never seen them before, I didn't know they existed here, but I saw them. I'm so happy that you saw them, too."
And it was true. An immense weight had lifted from her chest, though her necklace still hung heavy around her throat.
"You looked like you had seen them," said Dinah, a little more composed. "You look different. Fey, elf-touched. You must have walked among them in the woods. But Sarah, how did you know you weren't crazy? I was half-convinced somebody had slipped some acid into my Coke."
Good question. Sarah paused, seeing a fork in the road in front of her. To tell or not to tell? If she did tell, how much?
This was Dinah.
It felt so good to integrate these two halves of herself.
Sarah breathed in deeply.
"My visit with my mom and Jeremy was a bit strange," she began. Then she went into depth about the visit, saying things she had skipped over when she had described her trip before. She told Dinah about Grandmother Dara and the cousins and Jeremy's brother and sister—and Jeremy himself. About where they came from, and how shocked Sarah had been, and about the magic they had done.
Never did she mention Jareth. That would have taken to long to explain, even if she had felt inclined to do so. No, those thoughts were still too private and too confusing to go over. She did mention Lady Dara's letter a few weeks before, and the sugar-coated order to visit the Family.
Dinah sat perfectly quiet for twenty minutes as Sarah spoke, never interrupting. When the dark-haired girl finally fell silent, Dinah continued to sit there with a dazed look on her tear-stained face.
"So I'm the crazy one, if anyone is," added Sarah lamely. "... you do believe me, don't you?"
Quiet.
"Dinah?" she asked worriedly. Surely she'd been right to speak...?
"You have to take me with you!" Dinah burst out at last, eyes wide. "Sarah, you have to."
"Take you to the Underground?" said Sarah, aghast. Dinah nodded violently.
"Yes! There is no way you can hog that to yourself! A chance to see... there's no way you're leaving me behind!"
"I don't even want to go, myself!" exclaimed Sarah. "No way! It's not safe!"
"According to who? Why ever not?"
Sarah bit her lower lip. Nice one, girl.
"They're not giving me a choice about going, for one thing. If I don't show up on my own, they'll send someone after me. Doesn't that sound a little nefarious?" Here she was, using the same arguments on Dinah that Jareth had used on her. The ones that she had rejected on her own.
"Oh, please. She's just a grandmother. You should see my Nonna. She's always ordering me to come see her and marry a nice Italian boy, and I'm only eighteen. Anyways, if there is something devilish afoot, wouldn't it be better to have some back-up around?"
"Hmph. I'll think about it. But not a word to the guys. They won't understand."
"You mean, they'll send us to the loony bin? You got that right."
"Deal, then?"
"Deal. Now let's get out of here. I have a physics test next period."
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The rest of the day was bizarrely normal after the morning's surreal conversation. Sarah could almost believe that she had never left the Aboveground, that it had all been a bad dream—except that the dream hadn't been entirely bad, and the crystal was still rolling around in her backpack.
Ben had said 'hey', Aaron had hugged her as usual and asked if she had done something to her hair. Sarah forced a smile and didn't answer. She realized, for the first time, that she had cheated on Aaron rather egregiously.
That was something to keep in mind. It didn't help when Ellie had teased her about her appearance in 7th period, attributing her shine to the joy of falling in love. Sarah growled at her and shifted uncomfortably. She definitely had some issues to work through, where Aaron was concerned. She tried not to think too much about it.
And so, with a few jumps and starts, her life began to fall into a pattern again. Adaptability, she said to herself, is the key to survival. The mantra was an attempt to make herself feel better about not thinking. Not thinking about her situation, that is. That was the reason she had come back, wasn't it? To get some breathing room, to figure out what she wanted? To figure out what she was going to do next?
By eating cafeteria food and babysitting Toby, Sarah began to feel mostly human again. But there was something missing, the same discomfort that had niggled at her on her birthday so long ago.
A week after returning, Sarah locked the bedroom door and started levitating books around her room. She floated discarded clothes off the floor and into the closet, and she deposited trash into the bin next to her vanity. Then she summoned a crystal and turned it into a glass paperweight.
It looked like a little owl. She frowned at it and let it melt back into formless power.
The magic felt wonderful. Sarah knew then that she had several decisions to make. They couldn't be avoided. In three weeks, either Angharad, Jareth, or both would come to take her away. When this happened, she needed to know what to do. Ironic, she thought to herself, that if I had only stayed in the Labyrinth, the Daras would have come to my house and found me absent. The date in the letter was only a couple of days after I left the Labyrinth. But no, I had to come back, and now the problem's still here.
None of the magic she knew would prevent them from transporting her to their home in the Underground. Maybe Jareth would get to her first and stop them, but did she really want him to do that? She'd just be under his control again.
Sarah had no idea how she felt about the Goblin King. She knew that sleeping with him had been a horrible idea—thoroughly enjoyable (okay, mind-blowing) at the moment, but extremely messy in the long run. Couldn't be helped now, though. Was she attracted to him? Oh yes. Did she like him? Sometimes. Did she love him? Whoa, so not ready for that question. Jareth reminded her of the old rhyme about the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead.
...when he is good, he is very VERY good, but when he is bad, he is horrid
After two weeks in the Aboveground, the girl decided to try an experiment. She caught Aaron at his car after school, making sure no one else was around.
"Kiss me," she said firmly, looking up at him. She hadn't had more than a peck on the lips for the past fortnight, so this was important in proving her hypothesis. Aaron grinned.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I want you to kiss me. Like you mean it."
"Sure," he replied, willing but skeptical. "What's up?"
"It's an experiment. Just do it."
"Hey, alright, no problem. Here I go."
He bent his head down to hers, curly hair falling over her cheek. The kiss was gentle, sweet, and long. Aaron smiled at her again when he stood up.
"Does that fit the bill?"
"Perfectly, thank you very much. I gotta go now, though. See you later?"
"Yep. Bye, then. Glad I could help."
After she had left and walked some distance, the smile faded from her face.
Damn, she cursed mentally. Damn.
It had been nice. Just... nice. The experiment had worked; the conclusion was clear. Her sneaking suspicions were proven to be true.
The Goblin King has ruined me for nice high-school boys. Or just for Aaron. Okay, no fooling myself. He was my dream when I was fifteen, and the only thing that's changed is that the dream's a hell of a lot dirtier now. Maybe she didn't know how she felt about him, but all that confused mess amounted to a lot more emotion that she had ever felt for anyone else.
She was going to have to break up with Aaron. It was the only honorable route.
Damn.
As if she didn't have enough to worry about as it was.
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A/N: Chapter Fifteen completed. That was exhausting. Sorry if nothing really happened in this installment; Sarah needed a little bit of breathing room between adventures. I must admit, I miss Jareth already. Don't worry, he'll be back eventually—and the Dara family is going to be making its long-awaited reappearance in the next few chapters. Getting near the end of this thing, folks!
My reviewers are lovely people as always, especially when they don't yell at me for putting chapters out late. Lhiata, Amora-Ryuko, Just a Starving Writer, GoldenUsagi, Plague-darkholme, Anisky, Eleanora Rose, Ms. Briefs, Moonjava, Midnight Lady, Kaio, SP777, Mav1, Solea, Velf, Morganna Jade, Alissa7: much obliged, once again. Your feedback does help me a lot; hopefully I answered some of the questions people had, in this chapter.