Back with the third chapter! It was hard trying to convey Ichimaru, I modeled him after my English teacher in a way. And of course…

Bleach belongs to a great being that is not me.

The Day In the Life of Ichimaru

I woke up pleasantly early to watch the sunrise and muse over plans and the day's going-ons. Sunrises are quite pretty, but sunsets are murderously beautiful. I would go into more details, but who needs to read that?

What happened afterwards? Oh yes, I went to visit Kira, my malleable little vice-captain. He was packing Team 3's lunches, hunched over the bentos and arranging tomatoes in the salad. He's so cute in his pink apron and carnation pink Hello Kitty handkerchief. I told him so in my most sarcastic way with my biggest smirk. Let's see him try to figure THAT out. I patted his ass too just to let him have a little more to marinate on through the day. Harassing Kira is one of the best things about being a Shinigami captain. I quickly grabbed a cup of coffee and a bagel and exited.

Going outside to enjoy coffee and bagel in the garden, I was pleasantly surprised by Matsumoto Rangiku. She let me know exactly what she thought of my carbohydrate-filled breakfast, but I just smiled at her. Smiles make you think. They're green. Very green. Very important and full of insight. That's why I like to smile. Rangiku-kun smiles too and we eat breakfast. She will be most disturbed when Kira shares his ass-patting incident with the vice-captains at lunch. What can I say? I like twisting minds.

The sun climbs higher and we part ways. After rigorous warm-ups, I send my team out to do morning patrol. More correctly, Kira tells them. I just smile. Afterwards, I throw my arm around Kira and tell him he's so very adorable giving orders. He runs away like a chicken on crack. Being fruity around him is so fun. He responds. Not like cranky old Hitsugaya. And I think Byakuya likes it, which, eerily, disturbs me.

I then went to a captain's meeting, which was fun. I enjoyed making two very long speeches about nothing and torturing other captains. Captain Byakuya seemed to be daydreaming, and I saw Captain Hitsugaya drooling. Captain Shunsui was drunk enough to become his own brewery. It was funny seeing people drop dead in stupor like flies in a refrigerator. Of course, after a while, I dismissed the meeting. When all of the captains left, save Aizen-taichou, we exchanged a few words. We then joined the other captains for lunch and the daily summary of If Only Tonight. Kaname's summary was…palatable. He had difficulties distinguishing between Victor and Charlie's voices, them being twins and all, and thankfully, Hitsugaya filled us in when Kaname could not. Soi Fung will provide tomorrow's summary, but she's just focus on feminine discrimination, so I'll just watch it myself. Last time she did it, she compared Claudia to Yoruichi and her abandonment of Charlie to herself. We should really reconsider the taking turns issue.

I unveiled Kira's lunch to the jealous captains. My darling vice-captain supplied me with a summer Tuscany themed lunch. Delicious salad, warm pasta and the works. Must remember to kiss Kira in public for this. He gets public humiliation every time the lunches are fantastic. This means daily.

I return early after the meeting to get some paperwork done. I don't have to, really, Kira has finished it for me. I make a few corrections to Kira's analysis of the recent Hollows cleansed and leave. Kira makes a wonderful lunch, but he couldn't figure out a strategy even if we gave him to Mayuri and the robot gave him an extra brain. Nonetheless, Kira is much fun to toy with. And his lunches are spectacular.

Kira made a wonderful dinner of beef katsu. How the boy makes time for all of this, I'll never know. But I smile very widely just for him and give him a good slap on the arse for good measure in front of the team. Whose bitch? Neh, I'm just kidding. I'm not Byakuya. I don't have a penchant for men. IS Byakuya gay? I must carefully figure out that mystery.

I take a shower and watch If Only Tonight as I wash. Showers with TVs inside are marvelous. Once that was over, I retired to my room, and am now writing of the day's events. All of the captains have stuffed animals, but mine is the cutest. Kuroyan the white and grey kitty-cat is on my head and watching me write, which is why I mention it. I once told Kira that his plush canary Chiko could play with Kuroyan and he ran away, as if I conjured up dirty thoughts in his head. I know I did. It's my specialty.

Kuroyan and I are tired. I will sleep early and perhaps wake early to surprise Kira in his room. He'll scream like a girl. Or perhaps I should visit Aizen-taichou. I'm starting to sound like Hinamori-chan. I better get rest.

With a smile,

Ichimaru Gin

(A/N): Liked it? Tell me who you want next! And review! Kuroyan likes reviews! And Chiko likes sushi!