Chapter Two
The next day I went back to Tom Nook's.
"Here is some carpet. Take it over to Bob," Nook told me.
"Okay," I said, taking the carpet over to Acre C-4. A purple cat wearing a No. 1 Shirt was picking flowers.
"Hi. Flower?" he said, holding out flowers, "I'm Bob."
"No thanks. I'm Ty," I replied.
"Bob, sob," he said, dropping his flowers and looking at a beetle by his feet.
"Here's your carpet," I said, holding it out.
Bob clapped his hands, "Yea! Here," he held out a leaf, took his carpet, and left. I left and went to my house and dropped the leaf. A modern desk appeared. I gathered all my shells off the floor and put them in the desk and went back to Nook's. When I got to Nook's Cranny, Tom was waiting for me with rocks and he started throwing them at me.
"Ow!" I cried out, "What are you doing!"
"I'm throwing rocks at you!" he exclaimed as a big rock hit me in the stomach.
"Why!"
"You took forever!"
"You're crazy!"
He threw his last rock, "I know. Now, go make a post on the bulletin board in front of your house to make people come to my shop."
"Okay," I said, heading for the bulletin board. I scribbled something on a blank piece of paper. After a painstaking four seconds, I stepped back to admire my work.
TomNook
"There," I said to myself, "That would convince me to go to the old Coon's Shop. It's also the only shop in Crapsville… oh, well. It would still convince me!" and I went back to Nook's Cranny.
"Good, you're back," Nook said to me, "Go plant some flowers," and her gave me some flowers.
So I went over to the side of Nook's shop and planted forty roses. When I was done, I went back to Nook, "Okay, I'm done," I panted.
"Good. Now go deliver this fishing pole to Lucky in acre B-5."
I took the pole, went to A-5, and knocked on Lucky's door. A dog bandaged up like a mummy opened the door.
"Hi!" he said cheerfully.
"Hi," I replied, not cheerfully at all, giving him the pole.
"Here," he said, giving me a bag.
"What is it?"
"Pour it on yourself when you're swimming."
"Okay," so I went down to the ocean, stripped to my boxers, got in the water, and poured the contents of the bag onto my head (ltdtoo gal: Of course he's too dumb to even look what's inside it before doing so. Me: Hey! I'm not!... never mind…). Thick brown stuff oozed down my head. It smelled like crap! Literally! I swam underwater and did my best to get everything off, "It's poop!" I cried out in disgust.
Suddenly, a lady rose up out of the water. She had blue, sparkly wings, a blue, sparkly short dress, blue, sparkly hair, blue, sparkly glitter all over, blue, sparkly mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick, and pale skin (her knees down were still in the water). She started laughing at me, "You got crap all over you head! Ha, ha!"
"You're hot!" I said happily.
"You're way out of your league!" she replied, snickering.
"How do you know! Try me!"
"I'm 1,127 years old."
"Oh," I said sadly, "You're still hot!"
"You still have crap on your head!" she said, laughing and snorting at the same time.
"Nooo! Get it off!"
"No way!" she said, poofing away.
I hung my head low and went back to Nook's.
"Get out!" he said, shielding his eyes. I looked down. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to put my clothes back on. I ran back to the sea and pulled my clothes on and went back to Nook's.
"It's late so you can go home," he told me.
"I just ran back here to be told to go home!" I fumed.
"Yeah."
"Okay, just checking. Bye."
I went back to my house. I found an alarm clock up in a tree when I was randomly climbing it, so I took it home and plugged it into a socket. I pressed a button on it that said 'Save' and went to bed on the floor.
XXX
I woke up the next day with a hurt back but a good mood. I yawned, stretched, did push-ups that looked like I was humping the ground and I walked outside and saw and axe, "Cool! An axe!" I pretended to be a cheerleader. I threw the axe up in the air to do an awesome trick, but it fell back down and hit me in the head so I went to hell. I didn't want to go to hell so I found Satan's alarm clock and pressed restart so that I could start my day over.
XXX
I woke up with a hurt back but a good mood. I yawned, stretched, did push-ups that looked like I was humping the ground and walked outside. An ugly mole sprung up from the ground, "YOU RESTARTED YOUR DAY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
"Who are you?" I asked in disgust.
"I AM RESETTI! DON'T RESET YOUR DAY!"
"I can if I want," I scoffed, kicking him in the face, "And now I have to find the money to cover up the hole you just made! I hate you!"
"The ground covers itself up! DON'T KICK ME!"
I kicked him.
"DON'T DO THAT!"
I kicked him.
"STOP THAT!"
I kicked him.
"KICKING WON'T MAKE ME LEAVE!"
I kicked him.
"OW! I'M OUTTA HERE!"
"Wait!" I said, pulling out a bag of poo, "Put this on you head."
"Thanks," he poured it on his head and died.
I clapped my hands and grabbed some rubber gloves from the tree nearby and pushed him back into his hole along with the poo and gloves and it all covered up.
I know this chapter isn't real long, but I couldn't think of anything else for now. Please review!