Wow, it's been awhile. Looks like this is going to be the last captain fic, before I open with the new vice-captain chapters, so you're all in for a treat! It's a twofer! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Got Bleach? Not me.

The Day in the Life of Shunsui and Ukitate

5:30 AM—Ukitate Jyuushiro

Finally, we've gotten a new journal! We as in myself, Captain Ukitate Jyuushiro and Captain Kyouraku Shunsui. Let me explain, since you are a new journal and all (this is odd, talking, er, writing to a journal).

Since Shunsui and I have been friends since who knows when, we thought up an ingenious way of talking to each other and staying friends no matter where we are: by keeping a journal in which we both write!

Well, now that I've said a bit I'm going back to sleep. I was just eager to write in the journal before Shunsui could take it from its hiding place in the library. So, to Shunsui:

I win.

8:00 AM—Kyouraku Shunsui

Awww…Ukitate got here first? Talk about an injury to my pride as a man and an early riser! Anyway, I should probably go eat the breakfast that Nanao-chan has set on the table outside before she drags me out herself. Not that I mind, for I love my sweet, sweet Nanao-chan!

But still, might as well go in case she does it like last time when she dragged me by my hair. Ouch.

10:00 AM—Shunsui again

I'm currently on my way to an emergency captain's meeting. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure. Nothing a bottle of sake cannot solve, and I brought sake! Maybe I'll drink a little before I go into the meeting room, I have 20 minutes to kill…

10:40 AM—Jyuushiro

As I was walking to the emergency captain's meeting, guess who I found outside the door of the building completely drunk? Being the kind, generous person that I am, I kindly and generously hauled my best friend's body into the building and up two flights of stairs. The only satisfaction I got was that I dragged him up by his oversized hat. His face was turning a pleasant shade of bluish-purple that made me feel better.

I should stop now because I have to slap Shunsui awake and take a break.

11:30 AM—Shunsui, who has a killer headache

I wish my darling, sweet Nanao-chan were here to dull and soothe the pain that wrecks my head. And my hat. Oh, munificent angel, where are you?

11:31 AM—Jyuushiro

Munificent?

11:32AM—Shunsui

Why, of course, sweet Ukitate!

11:33 AM—Jyuushiro

sweet? And we're late! And why am I writing when I could be talking? Ah—

11:34 AM—Shunsui, who is concerned

Ukitate just knocked out. I definitely see a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. Not good. Maybe a drink for the two of us will help this pre--

11:40 AM—Ise Nanao

Captain Kyouraku Shunsui, to whom I am his second in command, and Captain Ukitate Jyuushiro, who is my captain's closest and oldest companion, are, as I write, lying on stone stairs, precisely 1 hour and 20 minutes late for an important captain's meeting. I write this to let them know who exactly dragged these two unfortunate men up five flights of stairs when they awaken. And, Captain, you have yet to fill out the release forms for several Shinigami of our Division.

1:00 PM—Shunsui

Ah, beautiful, darling angel, Nanao-chan! I knew you would rescue us! She is so diligent and good like that! Anyhow, the emergency meeting turned out to be called by Soi Fong and Mayuri, not the First Captain. What a surprise! It also turned out that the special two-hour finale of "If Only Tonight" was on, which was why we were called for the emergency meeting, as Mayuri found out only three hours ago.

1:40 PM—Jyuushiro

That was the most beautiful finale I ever saw! I am still dabbing tears away from my eyes and trying to keep my heartbeat at a physically safe level before I again cough up blood. Finally, Tanya was able to become human! And there was a double wedding! For so long, I have advocated Victor/Charlie on and it finally came true! It turned out they were never truly twins at all but past lovers! So HA, stupid fanfic writer mechaman3rd. Tanya/Victor? Please.

2:00 PM—Shunsui

Ukitate, you got the pages wet. Anyway, after watching the finale (kind of maudlin, but oh-so sparkly and white. It reminded me of the pure grace of Nanao-chan!), we broke out some sake (courtesy of myself) and lunches and toasted the end of such a superb show! Mayuri and Zaraki had to be led away, they were sobbing so profusely we couldn't even hear the dialogue. Mayuri was screaming, "Damn that fanfic writer 13Silverhair13!" Whatever that means. The room's walls change color? Wow, that's a new development…

3:14 PM—Jyuushiro

Well, I have given out the weekly assignments to my division and have apologized to Ise Nanao several times for retrieving her captain in a complete drunken stupor for the second time today. I would have continued, but the next thing I knew, I was at the 4th division headquarters with an IV in my wrist. Seems that I fell over in an apoplectic 'moment'. Woops.

5:27 PM—Shunsui

So here I am in the 4th division infirmary, apparently getting the alcohol drained from my system. By several medics. Several very good-looking medics. But none so amazing and gentle as lovely Nanao-chan! Apparently they've been at it for three hours. According to Jyuushiro, who's in the bed next to mine, they've never seen so much alcohol in anyone's bloodstream. Says that want to take me to Mayuri to use as an experiment. Frigid Nanao-chan said "Of course." Oh, those cruel words! Hey, there are new medics! Oh, the previous ones, one new medic said, ran out of spiritual energy. I didn't know they even admitted Shinigami with such little spiritual energy into the Soul Society! Who knew?

11:00 PM—Jyuushiro

Alright, I have officially used up 2 large boxes of tissues and have played several rounds of poker with Shunsui in the medical wing. I still can't over the beautiful Charlie/Victor ending! I won't be able to go to sleep tonight! Wait, I don't think this is a healthy pulse level—

12:00 PM—Ise Nanao

Both captains are now in their respective quarters. I am going to bed. I have never been so physically over-exerted in my life. And they're puerile stuffed animals Puff-puff the silver Shih Tzu (Captain Ukitate's) and Muffer the black bear (Captain Kyouraku's, which apparently came with a matching smaller pink bear named Miffy that I unfortunately kept for the Captain's sake and sanity) are with their respective owners, since both clung protectively to the things. This has all be quite ridiculous.

A/N: I didn't like the opening, but hey, I liked the ending bits. And if you couldn't figure out, mechaman3rd and 13Silverhair13 were the fanfic names of Mayuri and Ukitate. Yes. Comment if you write fanfic that comes true! Or not…