THE REAL CALVIN BALL
We come in as calvin walks in his room and starts talking to hobbes.
Calvin: hey hobbes
Hobbes: hey
Calvin: guess what I have to do for homework?
Hobbes: hmmm.. more math?
Calvin: yeah but the teacher wants me to be extra good, so you be your best ok?
Hobbes: sure
Calvin: good then-
"calvin we're going"
Calvin: wow mom and dad are going! This is our lucky break!
"so you'd better hurry up!"
Calvin: what?
"we told you five minutes ago when you walked in"
Calvin: no you didn't!
"just come down"
Calvin: well let's go hobbes
" and no hobbes "
Calvin: why not!
"(mumbling to mom) that thing isn't real"
Calvin: huh?
" oh we just said because ummm tigers umm don't like uhhh.. meat yes tigers don't like meat "
Calvin: we'll sorry buddy
Hobbes: but I love meat!
Calvin: I am SURE that came out wrong
Hobbes (eyes all funky): ooooh hello Mr.sausage, come into my mouth
Calvin: AAAAAAH MOM HOBBES IS TRYING TO EAT ME!
" CALVIN! COME DOWN HERE NOW! WE'RE GOING!"
calvin runs down his stairs and sees dad in the most goofiest nerdiest shirt he's ever seen. And very high pants.
Calvin: my geek sense is tingling
Dad: shut up and come.
Calvin: geek alert! Geek alert!
Mom (giggling):well that is a little geeky
Dad was wearing high jeans that showed his ankles, a striped blue shirt and a pocket protecter, a pair of glasses that were oversized and a pencil in his pocket.
Dad: LETS JUST GO SHOPPING ALREADY!
Calvin, Mom and Dad left to go shopping while hobbes was in Calvin's room doing his work.
Hobbes: I don't know what this is so I'll write: my mom says for me not read these kind of books.
Hobbes: HEY! That answers all of the answers! Yay!
Hobbes jumps up realizing that he just did half an hour of work in 2 minutes.
Hobbes: well what should I do now? Hmmmm
Hobbes looks around for things and noticed calvin has a skateboard that he has never used. Or even realized he had it.
Hobbes: hhmmmm should I ride that skateboard again? Naah I'm already pro enough.
Looks around more… " I wonder whats in the living room?"
Hobbes goes down and sees curtains,
Hobbes: oooh BWAHAHAHAAHAAAAA BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Way later on,
Calvin dad and mom walk in
Dad: well that was.. umm fun!
Calvin: every person who saw you yelled geek alert! Even mom
Mom: I'm sorry I though that was in my head.
Dad: fine I'll go change.
dad walk upstairs then goes in his room.
Calvin: I'm gonna watch some t.v.
Half an hour later.
Calvin walks in his room.
Calvin: hey hobbes.
Hobbes: hey calvin, how was it at the food market?
Calvin: every other second we heard the words GEEK ALERT from some passing stranger.
Hobbes: ouch.
Calvin: you don't know the half of I-
"CALVIN!"
hobbes: uh-oh.
Calvin:huh?
"CALVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE CURTAINS?"
calvin: nothing!
" I KNOW YOU DID THIS! YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS IN THIS ROOM! AND YOU GOT IN THE HOUSE FIRST!"
calvin: IT WASN'T ME!
Hobbes: I kinda you know, well it's boring here
"CALVIN GET DOWN HERE!"
calvin: thanks! You got me in even MORE trouble than when I called dad a geek!
Hobbes: your welcome!
Calvin walks down.
10 minutes later,
calvin: you rotten little stinker.
Hobbes: I didn't do anything!
Calvin: you recked the curtains!
Hobbes: no I didn't sphagetti brain! "FLEABAG"
"MORAN"
"LICEMONSTER"
"DOOFUS"
"ROCKET-BUTT"
"LANDMINE MAGNET"
"TUNA BRAIN"
" MONKEY "
" HAIRBALL"
"WHY YOU LITTLE!"
pounces on calvin
"AAATTTAAACCCKKKK!"
ow!ow! owie! Youch! Meow! HISS!………………… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Dad walks in.
Dad: why aren't you outside?
Calvin: you never told me to go outside.
Dad: then go to your room.
Calvin: I'm already in my room
Dad: then go outside.
Calvin: no
Dad: get out!
Calvin: no.
Dad: grrrr
:later:
calvin: you can let go of my wrist now.
dad: not until you get outside
calvin: I can't, you got my wrist
dad: let's go there now don't come back in for atleast 3 hours.
calvin: fine
calvin goes outside not forgetting hobbes of course.
Calvin: well what should we do now that we're outside?
Hobbes: I dunno.
Calvin: maybe a G.R.O.S.S. meeting?
Hobbes: okay.
Hobbes walks up the tree.
Calvin: pass down the rope.
Hobbes: say the password
Calvin: I can't believe I have to do this cause of a tiger.sigh
Verse one:
Tigers are great!
They're the toast of the town.
Life's always better
when a tigers around!
Verse two:
Hobbes is the best!
He is so cool
Though when he sees food
He starts to drool
"HEY"
verse three:
hobbes is my friend
I like him so much
He is so something
And such and such
Verse four:
We throw rocks
At helpless strangers
Or atleast till we meet
Evil house rangers
Mom(inside the house): I think someone's talking about me.
Verse five:
Hobbes could be mean
Once in a while
But seeing him always
Brings me a smile
"AAAAAAAWWW"
verse six:
we are pirates!
Scandles we are!
For we throw rocks
At everyone afar!
Hobbes: AAAAARRRRRRRRRR!
Calvin: so can I come up?
Hobbes: sure!
Calvin: finally, I hate singing that song!
Hobbes: just get up.
Calvin climbes up the ladder to get to the treehouse.
Calvin: calvin the super genius reporting
Hobbes: hello private!
Calvin: I will do a head count now! Hobbes the weatherman?
Hobbes the weatherman: here!
Calvin: calvin the news reporter?
Calvin the news reporter: here!
Calvin: hobbes the supreme?
Hobbes the supreme: here!
Calvin: we have so many people it's amazing they fit in here!
Hobbes the we have so many people it's amazing they fit in here: here
Calvin: I didn't mean that to be a name, but this I do, knucklehead!
Hobbes: barfball!
"chunky nugget!"
"george of the jungle!why don't you hit that treee?"
"garfield! So why don't you scarf another snack down? Fatso!"
"ignoramanouse doofumus!"
hobbes: you know you're in the circus, heres the letter,
the letter: doo u wsh fr calvon 2 bea inn tha crcus?yes sgn hre
calvin: im not in the circus!
Hobbes: mom already showed me the document saying that you'll only shrink instead of grow. You'll be the size of a pea when your 50.
Calvin: WHY YOU LITTLE
calvin jumps on hobbes. Hobbes and Calvin start fighting. Calvin punches hobbes in the stomach and hobbes bites Calvin. Calvin kicks hobbes then hobbes scratches calvin. Calvin bites on hobbes' arm
hobbes: OW!OW! LET GO! OW! LET GO!
Calvin: no!
Hobbes: truce?
Calvin: ummmm…… no!
Calvin kicks hobbes in the groin.
Hobbes: owie!
Calvin: now truce.
Hobbes: okay! I give up!
Calvin: that was quite fun.
Hobbes: but we can't be done yet! It's at the end of spring nearing summer! How about an attack?
Calvin: okay. But who should we attack?
Hobbes: susie?
Calvin: no we always go for her.
Hobbes: hmmm I dunno who we should go afte-
Calvin: MOE!
Hobbes: you mean that stupid guy who called me a teddy bear?
Calvin: yeah
Hobbes: sweet payback.
Calvin: lets get some water balloons!
Hobbes: hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Calvin grabs the extra balloons he keeps in the tree while they're climbing down.
Calvin goes to the water pipe with hobbes and start filling water balloons.
:14 water balloons later:
calvin: wow we had to get a bag for all these!
Hobbes: It's worth it!
Calvin: yeah!
C&H go to moes and secretly hides behind the bushes as he is holding a cute doll.
Calvin(whispering): haha he plays with dolls
Hobbes(whispering: hehe
They both glance back over to moe with his doll. Moe starts talking to the doll then rippes it's head off.
Calvin(not whispering): HES A MURDERER
Moe: huh?
Hobbes: HE MUST BE STOPPED!
Calvin: LAUNCH THE MISSILES
Moe: haha does calvin want another pounding?
Hobbes: ATTACK!
Both: HIYA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
Calvin and hobbes toss 7 water balloons at moe at once.
Moe: what the? What are you up to wimp!(moe starts walking up to calvin) Why I'll pound you to the end of tim-
Hobbes: HIYA!
Hobbes: actually pounces on moe and moe see's hobbes.
Moe: AAAAAH WHAT THE FREAK? I'LL GET YOU ON MONDAY CALVIN AAAAAAAAAAH!
Calvin: BETTER HOPE HOBBES DOESN'T SNEEK IN MY BACKPACK!
Calvin: high five.
Calvin and hobbes high five.
Both: YEAH!
Calvin and hobbes walk joyfully back to calvin's place and start thinking of new things to do.
Hobbes: that ruled!
Calvin: oh YEAH! What should we do now?
Hobbes: lets go to the tree house and start thinkin'.
Calvin: you betcha!