Pre-chapter notes:
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE do not hurt me for this less than... well... just bad chapter. Now really isn't a good time for me to write...
Chapter Thirteen
The morning came with breakfast, instead of the usual sunlight Lily was used to seeing. The fact that she lost her vision hadn't struck her comprehension yet, partially due to the fact that a cloth wrapped around her head soaked with salves and other healing solutions that were also dripped into her eyes. The potions were made hoping to protect the nerves that would allow her to see. Lily's mother fed her while her father relayed what he knew of what happened. Bits and pieces of her first dueling ordeal returned at the familiar parts in the description. It was most definitely difficult to forget the feeling of the Cruciatus curse.
"How's James?" Lily asked, glad that her mother was done feeding her. She wondered why she ever wanted the woman to feed her when she was younger since it basically was a mechanical motion of getting food onto the spoon or fork and stuffing it into Lily's mouth even if Lily explained that she was full.
"The boy woke up a little bit before you this morning. He's actually out of the hospital now," her father explained.
Lily heard her mother's idiosyncratic tsks. "He sure recovers fast. There were no signs that he was hurt."
"Can I go talk to him?" Lily pleaded. She needed to question him about what happened. Why was there an attack? What was going on in the less glamorous aspect of the wizarding world? The one negative aspect of Hogwarts was the fact that the school was too protective an institution. If students weren't keeping up with current events themselves, it would be easy to create an illusion in which life was perfectly peaceful and prosperous.
"Once you rest more," the voice of the mediwitch replied curtly. "If Mr. Potter was healthy enough to help his friends caused chaos, I'd believe he is in perfect condition." Lily felt herself being lowered onto the bed. "You, on the other hand, need rest. After all, you got hit by the most curses."
"But he also had the Cruciatus curse hit him!" Lily whined but quickly huddled to hide under the comforters. The last time she had begged in a high pitched voice was when she was five and she didn't want to go to school. Although she couldn't see, she could feel the stares from her mother and father. They never did like begging much.
Complying with the mediwitch's directions to rest, Lily opted to take another nap. Switching darkness for darkness was nothing different. At least she hadn't made herself hysterical about her lack of sight yet, and to continue the trend, Lily pleaded for her mind to not dwell on the scenery but on the noises of the area around her. Gradually, the sound of light footsteps and the far echo of glass hitting glass lulled her into a state of light unconsciousness.
"James Potter! Sirius Black! Remus Lupin! Peter Pettigrew! Get your sorry little bodies over here right now!" Lily jumped up to the screeching of various witches and wizards and light buzzing sounds and the dictatorial announcement of the head of the hospital ward. "I want these bandages to be perfectly normal in one minute or you three will be very sorry about starting chaos in the hospital, understood?"
Lily turned her head, hoping to see what was going on. It was then reality hit her. She couldn't see. She really couldn't see anything. She could hear the whooshes of flying bandages passing her ears but there were no images to match the sounds. Desperation grew with fear. How was she going to get around school when she couldn't see? How could she do her homework and takes notes if she couldn't see? All everyday actions people perform all depended on the fact that they could see. Hogwarts stairs were made for those that either knew every trick in the castle or those that could see dangers. She never paid any attention to the details in Hogwarts. How was she supposed to live at school and learn when one of the most important gifts of life was taken away?
"Lily?" she vaguely heard something speak to her. "Lily? Are you alright?" A pair of hands grabbed her shoulder and she was pulled into a hug.
"Huh? What do you mean?" she replied. Her voice sounded congested. Then again, the happenings around her sounded far away as well.
"I think you are crying."
The comment came as a surprise. How could she cry if she didn't know she was crying? Her eyes weren't stinging. At least she couldn't feel it. Slowly bringing up her hands to her face, Lily felt that the bandages over her eyes were indeed moist.
"Hmm, I am crying." At that moment, Lily desperately wanted to turn to someone to see his or her expression, to see the emotions in his or her eyes. She wanted to clutch onto an anchor and cry – a real cry where she could feel the tears form – and question why her sight was taken away from her. Perhaps the person next to her understood; Lily felt herself being pulled into another hug, and her resolve crashed. Waves of desperation, fear, and self-pity rushed in as the sobs started as well.
"Why can't I see?" she repeated over and over again. Without her vision, she couldn't observe her classmates. She wouldn't be able to use her new camera. She wouldn't be able to do anything by herself. Her individuality would be stripped since she most definitely would depend on others. She wouldn't be a perfectly functional human being . . .
Worst of all, her only true friend would be gone. Loneliness would multiply if she couldn't be kept company with the little activities of the world.
"Shhh," her anchor replied. "It will be alright. Um, I can hear come your parents and the mediwitch." Lily nearly jumped. She was clinging onto James Potter! Sure, she was blind but her parents were not going to let go of the fact that she should date him. One incident in which he saved her life and one year where he took noticed of her and Lily could feel her parents' affection for the Potter heir radiating whenever they spoke of him. "I think I need to leave though," James continued. "I think the woman would murder me even if I'm sitting next to you." With one last hug, Lily lost the warmth of another body close to her and sat still in her bed.
"Lily!" she heard her mother exclaim. "Oh my, you were crying." Before she could nod, she was engulfed in a tight hug from her mother. The light scent of jasmine, her mother's favorite perfume, wafted to her nose. "Oh," her mothered whimpered, cradling her.
"It will be alright Miss Evans," the mediwitch began complacently. "You will have your bandages off in two weeks. Please do not ever take them off unless they are getting changed. The bandages are soaked with healing potions to restore nerves around her eye. After the two weeks, you will have eye drops to heal the vision sensors damaged by the curse."
"Will I be able to see after all the treatments?" Lily asked. She vaguely remembered one of the healers telling her earlier that they won't know until tests results arrive. There was a period of silence. It might have been less than a second long, but the delay in a response felt like an omen.
"W-we aren't certain if you will have your vision back completely. There is nothing we can do until after the eye drop treatment. It's possible you might not see without vision enhancement charms," the mediwitch finished with a gulp that seemed like a roar in Lily's ears.
She felt her head bob in nod. Her mother was still cradling her and she should feel her father's hand patting her head gently.
"So when can I be released?" Lily decided to ask. She might as well get on with her life.
"Your headmaster said later today."
Lily took a deep breath. The date was a bit soon but she could handle it. If there was a chance that she will forever be blind, she should start getting used to living without the ability to see. No matter how the mediwitch tried to hide the fact that she may be blind for the rest of her life, Lily knew she had to start her mental preparation. After all, it would take a long time for her to get used to not being able to do her hobbies since most of them require her ability to see.
"Are you okay, honey?" her mother asked. Lily nodded her head.
"Of course I am!" her voiced sounded too perky to show the truth in her statement. "I mean... if I am permanently blind, I can deal with it. It's not worth crying over spilt milk, right?" She couldn't see her parents' expression, but because of the fact that her mother's hand stopped patting her, probably meant they were pensive.
After some teary moments in which Lily reassured her parents she would be fine although she couldn't see, Lily bid her parents farewell, as they did have a life in muggle England to live. Leaning back into her bed, the girl decided to start her plan of what to do when one couldn't see.
One. She should imagine what her surroundings look life. After spending over five years in the same castle, she should be able to remember the interior designs of the place. Sure it was a magical building and certain things did change, she was sure she could just ask someone about a trick stair or a moving staircase. Besides, the headmaster definitely wouldn't let her wander around the school without a guide, maybe a house elf to lead her around.
Two. She must rely on her memories – particularly muscle memory – when performing actions. After all, motions like feeding herself and drinking water and writing were performed umpteen times everyday. With her complaints during essay weeks, Lily was sure she could write without seeing.
Three. Never be afraid to—
Something moved under her hospital bed. Rather, something poked at her bed from below. Slowly trying to move off the bed without making noise or falling off, Lily tried to get away from or at least be in a position where her wand could threaten whatever was below. Speaking of which, where was her wand?
Lily felt her bare feet touch the cold, hard ground. She had made it off her bed without any accidents. Of course, before she could threaten whatever was under her bed, she must find her wand. Praying that the nightstand for each bed was to her left (the side she got off), Lily reached her hand to feel around for the wand.
The familiar feeling of polished wood and the customized engravings on the handle produced of sense of delight. At least in the darkness, Lily had something to defend herself. Leaning towards the bed, Lily lowered the wand below the bed to use a cleansing spell.
"What the he—" Lily jumped back as someone yelled rather loudly from below her bed and a hand come in contact with her foot. In the darkened state of chaos Lily lost her balance while muffled cries from below her bed continued.
The feeling of falling was never something Lily liked. She didn't like the fact that her stomach acts out of place. With her loss of sight, her stomach behaved even more out of place since it felt heavier. How could the sinking feeling feel like her stomach was stuck at her throat? Lily felt her arm come in contact with something soft – definitely not the nightstand – and came to a halt.
"Oof!" Lily heard some cry out when she stopped. Out of inane curiosity, she reached out to try and figure the characteristic of whatever was behind her.
There was a nose. It's warm. So a person. Of course, the person was groaning.
"Lily? Can you get off?" a voice sounding uncannily like James requested.
Glasses. Hair. Short hair.
"EEPS!" the girl replied with a jump and shriek. The noise apparently caught the attention of the witches and wizards in the medical ward.
"Miss Evans!" the stern tone of the lecture made Lily freeze before she could find her equilibrium. Thankfully, some person held her upright. "Thank you Mr. Potter. I will need to speak with you later. But Miss Evans! What were you doing out of bed?"
Lily opened her mouth to answer but no sound came out. She desperately wanted to see whom she would be answering to. If her parents were there, it would be a bit difficult to explain why she was out of bed with James Potter and Merlin knows whom else around. She definitely needed to work on her observation skills through her other sense.
"Well please be careful when you are out and about." With that, footsteps departed the vicinity.
"Um?" Lily found her voice when the interrogation ended.
"Sorry, we were hiding under you bed and then your parents came so we were stuck," James explained.
"Ah." So she really needed to work on her awareness of her surroundings.
"Well, I think we need to go and let you rest now."
And Lily slept for the rest of the day. For the hour before she was released to Hogwarts hospital ward, she received a detailed lecture on how to take care of her eyes. The healers were trying their best to help Lily regain her sight so the girl ended up with three different potions and creams for each day; one for waking up, one for midday, and one for before going to bed.
"Please remember to use them everyday," the head mediwitch emphasized. "This is all a series of medication to regain your vision and it takes time to have all the healing effects soak through your body's protective barriers. Now, tell me what you need to do."
"For the morning and night, I should get new bandages from the wooden box in the morning and the metal box at night," Lily repeated. "At midday, I rub the cream on the area around my eyes and my eyelids and wrap the morning's bandages over."
After which, the containers that held her medication were charmed so that only her hands could open them to prevent foul play. It wasn't like some Ravenclaw would get into her room and poison her, but the healers were paranoid as dark magic incidents was becoming increasingly more popular.
"Ready to go?" James asked when the healers left. Lily nodded and the two proceeded to meet with the rest of the English crew for the New Years Ball.
"What happened with the Ball after the attack?" Lily asked. She finally pulled herself out of egotistical shock to focus on the others. "Were the delegates from other nations well?"
"Yes, no one else was hurt" was James's curt reply. However, Lily's giddiness at trying to learn of her surroundings without one of her most important senses overruled any discomfort James may have had. She desperately wanted to know what was going on, especially since she could no longer read the newspaper.
"Did anyone withdraw because of the attack?"
"No."
"Where are they now?" Lily asked without a pause. James didn't reply right away. Out of habit, Lily turned to the person she was speaking with.
"Lily watch out!" and she jumped and lost her sense of balance again and felt a shock of resentment and anger. She should not have tried advanced dance steps when she was blind.
"Sirius!" James shouted from right behind her ear. "You don't do things like that."
Lily pouted. What did Sirius do? No matter how stupid Sirius might be in some of his pranks, they were always hilarious. There might be times where stupidity exceeds humor, but if a person chose to look at the funny part of the action and ignore the complete lack of common sense, Sirius was good entertainment.
"And besides, I can't really "watch out" if I can't see," Lily added, hopefully in a joking tone. Maybe exceptionally optimistic might be her new approach to life. Everyday language was filled with words that relate to sight and seeing so she shouldn't feel depressed whenever someone mentions something like that.
Lily found only herself giggling for what seemed like eternity until others started to giggle as well.
"So, what did Sirius do?" she asked, taking a break from her tense giggles. As the rowdy and silly Black heir launched his story of planning revenge on the healers for making him sterilize bandages one by one. Apparently the flying bandages resulted from something legitimate. The three uninjured Marauders were trying to help James with the bandage on his arm for a nasty cut. Of course, with three well-known jokesters giving their best try to be healers, the fight between three pairs of arms with each pair holding one of bandages, healing crèmes, and scissors, something unusual happened. Sirius became fed up with trying to wound bandages around the arm with Remus putting on cream, Peter cutting more of the old bandage and James's head poking around, he thought magiking the bandages to bound the arm themselves would be more efficient. Then again, Sirius was never great at Charms...
"Now, I have one small request," she started when everyone could barely breath because they were laughing so hard, as Sirius explained his plan. The ringing laughter quieted slightly. "I think I may need an escort because I am so clumsy and I'm sure to fall off the stairs or run into a painting or something."
While Lily's proposal was partly in a joking manner, perhaps the seriousness of her situation sobered the group of friends.
"Definitely!" James jumped on the reply. "We'll escort you everywhere. And since you have the pranksters of the school guarding you, you won't be at the ends of any pranks!"
Lily frowned, questioning the logic of the explanation. "Doesn't that also make it easier for you to prank me?"
"No!" Sirius yelped, sounding strangely like a hyena. "We definitely won't hurt or humiliate James's girl."
Faintly, Lily heard James moan, "Oh dear gods, not again!"
"Because we want Lily perfectly healthy to keep us in line!"
.o.0.o.
.o.0.o.
Rather Important Announcement...
Well, I do hope this is a good enough place to stop before my hiatus.Yes I am taking/planning a three-month sabbatical from writing Mélange. First of all, (if you haven't noticed) the story is getting towards its crucial turning point. I do not want to rush any of it and have chapters that are loose, pointless, and a chore to understand and read. I am sorry if this will make some on you impatient, but I am a selfish person. Which brings me to my second point. I am a high school senior. After being gone for a week for the Republican National Convention, I had lots of work to make up and scholarship deadlines to meet. In addition to having to make up work, I am currently at heads with one of my teachers. In short, my life is hectic. If you have read my all-purpose livejournal – although I haven't had much time to even write in that – you'll notice that I have some personal issues I need to resolve amidst schoolwork, and 9 college applications and the aforementioned scholarship.
The reason I am emphasizing my sabbatical for Mélange is because Romantic Bones is still at the development stages. I am still setting the tone of the story. Of course, the lighthearted tone of Romantic Bones is much more easier to write than the current dilemma in Mélange with blindness and the revelation – yes, Lily will be found out.
I hope people can understand my decision and wait for my re-entrance for Mélange in a little bit. You never know, I may surprise you with posts before the three months is over. I am not doing this to torture people waiting for chapters but so I can put all my focus on my academic life... even though story ideas to pop out.
Sincerely Remorseful,
Omni
P.S. Oooh! Didya know I got a LiveJournal account? Yeah, yeah, bandwagon shmandwagon. But tis a really interesting experience...
.o.0.o.
Personal Thank-Yous!
Jegan: ah, my ever faithful reviewer. Thanks so much for the comment, and I agree with you about the convolution. Truthfully, I jumped at the number of nice reviews despite the fact that the chapter was loaded with mistakes. I think I might have accidentally uploaded the wrong version... it should be fixed now. Now, I need to go back on my statement a little; the convoluted narration of the duel was in part due to the fact that Lily wasn't sure what was going on, and I was trying to stay faithful to her POV.
Padfootz: Aww, thanks so much! Even with all my stupidity, you still liked it...
Delinka: Eh... this wasn't really one of those "soon" updates but I hope you are still reading this.
Shadows: Well, what James did will be cleared up later, I assure you. It just may be awhile before the next chapter comes
Oliverwoodschic: James did save her. Anything more will have to wait another 3 months. Just a hint, I'm going to introduce media frenzy.
LilyPrincess: I don't remember if I joined your site... check for me, please? And you compliments make me blush. Every time I read it I get a slight ego boost... exactly what I need with all that's happening around me.
Jill: You have to be one of the most entertaining reviewers I have ever had. I am very flattered that I was able to change your perspective on certain things. (Yes! One of my goals achieved.) As for Jon, it's very good that you like him so much. If he was a real person and he went to my school, you would have the chance of buying him in November. Now James... I shall go to a corner and continue my smirking. And Sirius... am I making him too inconsistent? I didn't mean for his monologue to be confusing. Well, I did get that convo from a hyper friend that is also on , if only I remember her penname. That darned girl won't let me read what she wrote!
Jill: Still you... but I felt the need to start a new paragraph. Ah, naked baby pictures... don't get me started on pornography. All religious renaissance art is pornographic. Actually, aristocratic art until French Revolution was pornographic. Now do I want to know what "extracurricular activities" are you talking about? And don't hurt Lisa... I think the poor dear is blissfully unaware of what others think of her. You know, typical spoilt girl thing. Now the exchange people: guilty as charged about Mei's brother. Shhh, I stuck him in for a reason that I forgot... (blushing as red as the clouds on a humid night) Right, James and Sirius kissing something oddly wrong. Agree with you there, maybe I'll change it so the kiss on the lips was purely accidental.
Jill: Yep, still you. P Wow, you've got so much entertaining things to say. I have no clue about little siblings or any siblings since I am the poor deprived only child... but my younger cousins are like that! I still wonder how they found out about MY baby stories when I have witnessed theirs! As for being a genius... why thank you but I think my best friends take the cake: near perfect SAT scores, GPA of a disgusting 4.8 and is probably going to get accepted into Yale, Princeton, Harvard, and MIT. As for getting out the date, can you blame the poor girl though? It would be intimidating "dating" the minister's son and popular peer even if it's for one night.
Holly-evans: Now, if I told you why I blinded Lily – gah, that makes me sound so evil – then that would be telling. Think about the ending of this chapter. What has changed about our protagonist? Oh dearie, I should stop before I sound more like my English teachers about Shakespeare's King Lear...
dillydaddle2: Welcome to the story. I hope you thought time spent reading was worth it and do come back and read again. P
Zayne: My disclaimer would be I have never read a story in which Lily became blind... so I thought in light of my own narrow mindedness and naiveté that the concept was somewhat original. Much sorrows for causing you extra frustration.
moony128: Gosh, that was very perky... great to see someone so excited about this story.
LCH8292: Thanks for you trail of reviews! No masquerade – I can tell you that. I don't see the point in hiding... like that.
Vicster: Agree with the kinda good. In fact, I would say lousy but that's just because I'm me and am pretty embarrassed about uploading something like that. (what was I thinking?!)
Tamaran Girl: Ooh, but umm yeah... debuts don't come until after my break.
Serb4c: eh-hehe... about time for this chappie too?
Wowsergirl: How cute! I thank you for your attempts but if that can make colleges accept me and teachers give out less work and take away my mind block, try again and I'll update faster.
Sophianwin: Erm... elaborate as in weaved but simple because it just looks like a metal thread in a knot.
Lizmarauder4eva: Um, sure I'll e-mail you... if I remember since I do have the worst memory in the world. Just kidding. I can promise this time.
SiriusJamesRemus'sgirl: Maybe the premature form of 'eaters, as you called them.
Sapphire beauty: Thanks!
animalluvr75: Sorry... she's still blind right now.
SaveTheLastDance: THANKS LOTS! And I will try to write as soon as I get my college papers turned in or my mind decided to rebel and crank out ideas.
Anno: thanks much.
chaye710: Blindness can be good at times. It gives you a new perspective of life. While missing a sense is despairing, one can't always be pessimistic about it.
softballsweeti11: hehe... am trying to be soon?
Vera: Aww, best fic? That's so generous of you! (squealing in delight)
Astaf: Your friend gets extra eggrolls for referring you and I do hope you are enjoying the story enough to read to this chapter and see the note.
Hannah-Banana: Haha... the longer it takes for me to post the better it is... well, um, can I say I am somewhat ashamed of this chapter? Anyhow, thanks so much for posting the story on the Harry Potter message board. That certainly was interesting.
Siriusforeva: Thanks much for the enthusiasm!
Well, that's it for now. I'll miss you as I worry about getting into my happy colleges with my less-than satisfactory writing style. Aack, those admissions essays are just bad... worse than school essays.