Behind the Lines
Part Five: Morsmordre
The mark burns, a grim and sometimes painful reminder of what I've gotten myself into. I fight and I watch friends die, and I kill, and I'm not always sure of what I'm doing. I know where I am and what I've done and even why most of the time, but every now and then I have to wonder if I've done the right thing.
I don't believe in immortality. I don't believe in the Dark Lord's getting it, either. I agree with the purification of the wizarding race, but I don't see how his becoming immortal will get us there.
He's certainly done a good job of killing a lot of muggles and mudblood filth, but we've had heavy casualties just like they have. And there's a lot more of them than there are us. I can't deny it. The purebloods, while being more ruthless and stronger, are losing by sheer lack of numbers.
I come from a long line of purebloods, I was sorted into Slytherin, I carry the Dark Mark and I've been fortunate enough to mingle with such people as the Black family and the Malfoys, two of the strongest and most prominent pureblood families in today's world. But even with the formidable merits of Lucius and Bellatrix, I don't see how we're going to pull this off.
Granted, we have killed a few of theirs. The Prewetts, Bones, McKinnon. But they've gotten some of us, too. Add to that the Dark Lord's disregard for anything that stands in his way, including us…
I don't think we'll win.
But I've found it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what I do. And what I've done is exactly what's asked of me: I've killed, I've cursed, I've done nothing wrong, I've done nothing that will make him dispose of me like he did Regulus.
Regulus was a fool, anyway. Weak and afraid, he tried to get me to go along with him, to run. I told him no. I didn't tell the Dark Lord, though; I figured if Regulus thought he could make it alone he could try. Apparently he couldn't. Not that he was much of a loss.
I don't believe in immortality, so I know I'll die someday. Honestly, though, I'd rather die at the hands of some Auror than at the hands of my own master. At least then they'd know that I have the backbone to do finish what I start, no matter how right or wrong it was.
I don't know what the future has for someone like me; I don't shine like Bellatrix and I haven't fallen like Regulus. I'm the random Death Eater you can't find in a crowd. I could tell you everything about me and you'd probably never guess my allegiance.
The mark burns on my arm, a grim reminder of what I've done and what I'll do tomorrow and the next day and the next. I know what I've gotten myself into, and I know where it'll take me, so long as I'm willing to go. I'm willing to die for my Lord, but I never said anything about agreeing with him.
I don't believe in immortality.