There's a warm breeze tonight. I think I'm going to pretend that it is you, breathing beside me.

xXx

There is a cold rain tonight. I think I shall ignore the hot liquid on my face. I am not crying.

xXx

There is loud thunder tonight. I think I will believe that it is you, storming through our home. I am not alone.

xXx

There are large snowflakes dancing tonight. I think I will imagine your arms around me, instead of the roaring fire and old pillow comforting me.

xXx

There are so many stars out tonight. I shall think of your warm eyes, dancing as they gazed so lovingly at the heavenly pattern.

xXx

There are clouds tonight. I wish I could pretend to not be alone.

There are things in life that are unavoidable. Falling in love. Laughing, crying and dying. A person does not always choose when to experience such things. Often, it is the unexpected overflowing that brings the truest of emotions.

I should know. I had never truly been in love before. And, when finally my heart begins to beat for another, he is taken from me. My heart yearns for his. My laughter was always true with him. The tears now are so heavy. His death, unexpected and begrudged, has left me empty. I cannot function without him.

For years we lived as partners. He and I, players in a dangerous game of "Finder's, Seeker's." He was incredible. He was able to unravel any clue, able to stare into my eyes and declare his love for me, over and over. It didn't matter that I never responded in kind. He just wanted to make sure I knew his feelings.

I am not easy to get along with. My emotions are always hidden, my comments few. But he was there, for nearly four long years. He touched, teased, invited, reassured, and loved.

I finally gave into him. My heart was worn down and I realized even though we were both men, it would be okay. He loved me with everything he had. With his head, heart, body and soul. And I realized I loved him too.

He made love to me, slow and tender and amazing. I love him and when we finally became one, it was amazing. I had never known it was so amazing to be with a man. But he touched deep within me, somewhere that had never been touched before, and it was amazing.

And it was the only time he ever made love to me. That one night burned forever in mind. Two days later, he was dead. An accident during a job he was researching. He was dead, I was alone, and I needed him more than anything else.

xXx

There is dew this morning. I'm grateful for the cool liquid against my heavy jeans as I kneel here.

xXx

There are fresh flowers. I wish I had given them to you on a happy anniversary.

xXx

There are more stones around. I hope they won't mind me buying one.

xXx

Flowers have withered again. But nobody can change them. The last person who cared had joined his partner in eternal sleep. Marked by a cold, uncaring stone.