A Fool To Think

Chapter Five

Later that night Sam tossed and turned in her bed, unable to find the sleep that eluded her. The only thing that she could think about was Martin. Calling him scum was probably harsh, but after what he did to her, she couldn't help being angry.

Flinging back the covers, she got out of bed and made her way into the living room of her new apartment to find something. There were still boxes that she hadn't gotten a chance to unpack littering the empty spaces of the apartment. Luckily she knew which box she had packed it in.

She took the pair of scissors lying on the coffee table and cut through the packing tape to open the box. Then she reached inside and grabbed two items. One was a large shoebox and the other was a stuffed teddy bear. She picked up the items, moving to sit on the floor and lean up against the couch.

Her fingers lightly traced the facial features of the stuffed animal, remembering the night that Martin won it for her. It was during their senior year of college. They had been dating for about three months and went to the annual carnival that his fraternity sponsored.

"So do you want to ride the ferris wheel or do bumper cars next?" Sam asked as she linked arms with Martin. It was early September in Chicago and surprisingly it was still moderately warm.

"Doesn't matter to me." He told her as a grin appeared on his face. "Although the thought of getting to be alone with you in a ferris wheel car does sound appealing."

She grinned back, placing a light kiss on his cheek. "Ferris wheel it is then."

They made their way over to the ferris wheel, and saw that there was a long line of people waiting for their turn. Martin turned to her. "I'll be right back. Stay here in line, ok?"

"Um, ok." She wondered where he was going and why he was leaving her to stand in line alone, but didn't want to fight with him about it. She just hoped he would be back before it was their turn to ride the ferris wheel.

A few minutes later, Martin returned. He was just in time too because it was now their turn to get on the ferris wheel. He let Sam get in the car first and then sat next to her. "Here you go. I got this for you." He handed the object in his hand to her as the ride started to move.

She took the stuffed animal from him and smiled. "You got me a teddy bear?"

"Yeah." Martin nodded.

"Is that where you went just now?" She questioned.

"Yeah. I wanted to get something for you and there was a game that we passed on the way over here that I knew I could win."

"I can't believe that you went and won this for me." Sam marveled, staring at the teddy bear. "No one had ever done something like this for me. It's so sweet of you."

"I thought that it would be a great reminder of tonight, assuming that you want to remember tonight." Martin brushed a piece of her hair back behind her ear.

"Oh I never want to forget tonight." She assured him, leaning in and kissing him passionately.

"I have to admit that the game I won wasn't too difficult. It was just the ring toss game."

She smiled. "It doesn't matter to me what game you won. The fact that you would make such an effort to be nice to me is enough."

"Why wouldn't I make an effort to be nice to you though?" Martin questioned. "You're amazing Sam."

She shook her head. "I wouldn't go that far." She didn't feel amazing. Half the time she didn't even feel special. But the more time she spent with Martin, the more she was starting to feel better about herself.

He had a way of making her forget everything that had happened in the past and he made her feel wanted. Not just in a sexual way either, but completely wanted. He listened to her when she talked, he asked her opinions about various things, and did nice things for her like getting her this teddy bear. He was the exact opposite of all the other guys she'd ever known. Up until now she wasn't sure that guys could even be interested in more than sex, but he was proving her assumptions to be wrong.

"I would." Martin objected. "You are amazing Sam. I don't know how you managed not to have much self-esteem or who pushed you down to the point where you don't think you're worthy, but it's not true. And I'm going to keep telling you that until you finally believe me."

"You're the one who's amazing." She reached over and kissed him, loving it when she felt his arm wrap around her shoulder and pull her closer. "Thanks, and not just for teddy bear, but for everything."

"Anytime." He kissed the top of her head. "Anytime."

She shook herself out of that memory, not surprised to find that tears were streaming down her face. She couldn't believe that she was so stupid to think that he was actually being sincere. She should have seen through the act and realized that it was all just a part of his sick little plan. Angrily, she threw the teddy bear across the room.

She had to wonder though if it was all an act. Did he actually love her or was she just a means to an end? She didn't want to think that all of the good times they had were faked, all plotted by a master manipulator in order to gain her trust so that he could exploit her. But what else was she supposed to believe? She saw the proof with her own eyes.

Realizing that she wasn't going to get to sleep tonight, she climbed onto her couch and turned on the television. After flipping through a dozen channels, she found a movie channel that was playing the beginning of Casablanca.

This was one of her favorite movies. She always forced Martin to watch it with her and he'd always claim that he was just watching it because she wanted to see it. Still, she had a hunch that he really did like the movie and was just afraid to say it out-loud. Sighing, she put down the remote and settled in to watch it.

Meanwhile, in his own apartment, Martin was also having trouble sleeping. After checking the clock and seeing that he had been trying unsuccessfully to get to sleep for almost two and a half hours, he decided to get up. If he wasn't going to be able to sleep, then he might as well do something else.

He thought about taking a late-night run to clear his head, but decided that he didn't have the energy to do that. Seeing Samantha again had zapped all the energy from him.

She had called him scum, and that hurt more than he would ever admit. What did he do to her that was so bad? He never cheated on her and never did anything to intentionally hurt her. He was always supportive and kind. Yeah they fought sometimes, but it was never about anything that would justify breaking up. So why did she leave him?

He walked over to his desk and dug around in the bottom drawer until he found what he was looking for. A plain white envelope with his name scribbled on the front. It was a ten-year old letter. The ink was fading slightly and paper was turning colors, but he could still read it. Of course being able to read it wasn't necessary. He had it memorized. His mind flashed back to the first time he read it.

"This came for you." Steve, Martin's best man and fraternity brother, told him as he handed over an envelope.

"Who's it from?" Martin asked, inspecting the envelope. Who would send him something right now? He was in a church getting ready to marry the woman of his dreams.

"I don't know." Steve shrugged. "All I know is that someone dropped it off with the priest and he told me to give it to you because it has your name on it."

"Ok." He noticed that the handwriting looked similar to Sam's and smiled. Maybe it was some kind of last minute love letter or something. Taking the letter from the envelope, he started to read.

Martin,

I can't marry you today, or any other day for that matter. I'm leaving town. By the time you get this note I'll already be gone. Don't try to look for me and don't try to contact me because I don't want to talk to you. I don't have anything else left to say to you.

After finding out what you've done, I don't love you anymore. I don't even like you much right now. I can't believe you'd do something like this to me after I trusted you with my heart.

Samantha

The smile that had been on his face immediately turned into a look of confusion and hurt. She wasn't coming? She was leaving town? She didn't love him anymore? Since when? What had he done? What was happening here? When he spoke to her last night everything was fine. They hadn't fought and he thought she was looking forward to getting married.

At first he thought that this was just a prank that one of his fraternity brothers were pulling on him. They were always pulling pranks and practical jokes. He assumed that this was just one of those things. He thought that they were joking around with him and trying to get him to freak out on his wedding day.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Martin asked Steve.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, looking at his friend for some kind of explanation. "Is what some kind of a joke?"

"This." Martin answered, waving the note in front of his friend. "Did you or some of the other fraternity brothers write this?"

"No." Steve replied. "Why? What does it say?"

"It says that Sam's not coming." Martin explained.

"Not coming?" Steve repeated. "What does that mean? She can't just be a no-show for her own wedding."

"She can if she doesn't want to get married." Martin whispered, taking a closer look at the note and envelope.

The handwriting looked like Sam's, but her handwriting didn't look like it would be too difficult to forge. It wasn't until he found the engagement ring that he had given to her in the bottom of the envelope that he realized it was real. It was really happening. Sam had left him.

He was left with the daunting task of trying to explain to their guests and his family why Sam had decided not to show up. But that was hard because he wasn't even sure why she was a no-show. He had no clue why she decided to dump him so unceremoniously and in such a cruel way.

If she didn't want to get married then why plan the ceremony? Why wait until the very last moment to back out? He didn't understand then and he still didn't understand now.

He folded the letter back into the envelope and placed it back in its' place, buried deep in the desk drawer. He knew that there was no way he was getting any sleep tonight so he sat on the couch and turned on his television. First he checked ESPN and caught up on all the sports news he had missed during the day, then he started flipping through in search of a movie to watch.

He groaned when he saw that Casablanca was on. Sam had forced him to watch it with her many times. They would lie on the couch, tangled up in each other and eating popcorn. Those were some good times. He liked that movie a lot and he never told her that, but always had a sneaking suspicion that she knew it anyway.

He was tempted to pass this movie and check for anything else to watch, but the lure of Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman compelled him to continue. So he put down the remote and settled in on the couch to watch the rest of the movie.