Everyone ran inside the Noble Castle of Black, and the rude dark-haired man from the front doors addressed everyone.
"It's all fine," he said tonelessly. "The Great and Powerful Black has all this under control. Now go away."
Everyone turned away and left, but Lily, James, Remus, and Peter stayed where they were. They walked up closer to the guard who just sneered at them.
"Get out, go on now! Go home, hurry up!"
"But…if you please, sir," Lily said. "We…we want to see the Wizard. All four of us."
"The rule is that nobody sees the Great Black!" he yelled at them.
"Then what's the point in having him?" asked James.
The man gave a piercing look at him. "Don't you question my authority!"
"I was just making a point!" said James. "If no one is allowed to see him, then you might as well not let anyone in here at all."
Lily glanced at James and then looked back at the man. "Please," she said. "This is very important!"
"Yes, and I've even gotten my antlers polished for this occasion!" added James.
"As Regulus Black of the Noble Castle of Black, I repeat: stop trying to intrude on my authority! The rule is that no one is allowed to see the Great Black! After all, who would want to?"
"We would, sir," said Lily honestly. "He's got to help us."
"He's got to help us," Regulus mocked.
"But this is Lily!" James said.
"Oh," Regulus said, shaking his head sarcastically. "Bellatrix's Lily? I guess that's supposed to make a difference. Wait here, while I see the Wizard before I announce you." With a swish of his cloak, he walked off down a passageway.
"Were you listening?" James asked, beginning to jump again, then catching a glance at Lily and abruptly stopping. "It's as if I've got my brain!"
"I can softly hear my heart beating!" Remus said longingly.
"And I can be home in time for supper!" Lily said.
"And in one hour, I will be King of the Forest!" Peter said.
James snorted. He doubted that Peter would be King of anything, except perhaps King of the Cowards Convention.
"King of the Forest?" asked Remus. "Why do you want to be King of the Forest? I don't mean to be tactless, but isn't that- well- a job for a bigger and more ferocious animal, such as a lion?"
"Or a werewolf?" added James, grinning. Remus shot him a very nasty look.
"That's exactly what everyone wants you to think!" said Peter. "But I'm going to take a step for rats everywhere! When I have courage, I'll be the bravest rat everyone knows! Even the lions will be afraid of me! I will be King! And- and- I just have to sing about it!"
"Don't," said James. "Besides, you've already sung a song! I've only sung once."
"Yeah, well, you" –Peter nodded at Remus- "cut me off before I could finish it. I was talking about my troubles and then you had to go talk about being gentle as a lizard. Which, I can tell you from experience, are frightening little creatures! They're not gentle at all! But I'll tame them. I'll show you all. Because…
"If I were King of the Forest!"
James could not take it any longer. He began laughing. Lucky for him, Peter was too wrapped up in his future goals to hear him. Remus softly snickered too. Peter sounded as if he were trying to be King of the Opera instead. But Peter continued, after all, his opera was a bit too loud for him to hear anything else.
"Not Queen, not Duke, not Prince
My regal robes of the forest
Would be satin, and not cotton, and not chintz
I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl
With a woof, and a woof, and a royal growl…"
Remus laughed softly again. Being werewolf, he knew that he had just heard the worst canine impressions ever. Especially from an animal that was not meant to bark, merely squeak. Peter still didn't seem to have noticed the laughing.
"I'd click my heel
All the trees would keel
And the mountains bow
And the bulls kowtow
And the sparrow would take wing
If I…If I…were King!"
"That sounds very nice, Peter," said Lily nicely. But truthfully, she really wanted him to stop singing now, because Peter really couldn't sing. She'd been especially grateful to Remus earlier in the forest when he'd interrupted Peter's song with a line of his own. But now she was impatient to see the Great Black and have her help all of her friends. "It's nice to know you have some goals for after we get what we ask of the Wizard."
"Wait, I was not done with my song!" said Peter angrily. "There are more things that will happen when I am king! Like the bunnies I'm afraid of? Well, you'll see…
Each rabbit would show respect to me
The chipmunks genuflect to me
Though my tail would lash
I would show compash
For every underling
If I…If I…were King!
Just King!"
Perhaps the Wizard could get Peter a new voice, thought James. Or get him to stop singing these ridiculous songs.
Lily spotted James openly giving teasing looks at Peter while Remus held them back as best he could. Though Peter had still not yet caught them laughing, she decided to be a good sport and sing in Peter's song. Besides, maybe she could make it end faster.
James and Remus began to sing as well. Though Lily was singing more because she was a kind person and wanted to make Peter feel good, James and Remus were singing more out of sarcasm. And plus, James wanted to do whatever Lily was doing.
"Each rabbit would show respect to him
The chipmunks genuflect to him."
"And his wife would be the Queen of May," James sang sarcastically.
"I'd be monarch of all I survey!" Peter sang.
Monarch of all I survey!
Mah hah hah hah hah hah
Mah ha ha ha-narch!
Of all I survey!"
Please, Great Black, save us from this terrible song! thought James desperately.
If I ever sing again, I am never singing a type of aria, Remus concluded.
"Majesty, if you were King, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?" Lily asked, continuing the idea of Peter's song but now bringing it to words. If she left it at questions, then she could end it faster, and even if it went on, at least Peter wouldn't be singing.
"Not nobody, not no how!" Peter replied.
And James and Remus very much liked Lily's idea.
"Not even a rhinoceros?" Remus asked.
"Imposseros!" Peter laughed.
"How about a hippopotamus?" asked Lily.
"I'd thrash him top to bottomus!" Peter declared, making James snort a bit louder with laughter than he had before.
"Supposing you met an elephant?" Lily asked.
"I'd wrap him up in cellophant!" Peter replied.
"What if it were a brontosaurus?" James asked, wishing Peter would say he was scared.
"I'd show him who's King of the Fores'!" Peter said.
"How?" James asked, a note of sarcasm in his voice.
"How?" Peter repeated, taken aback. "Courage! What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his must? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the 'ape' in apricot? What have the got that I ain't got?"
"Courage," Lily, James, and Remus nodded.
"You can say that again!" Peter said, loosing his King of the Forest confidence.
James smiled at him. "You haven't got any courage. No courage what so ever. You're a scared little rat."
"I didn't mean to really say it again!" said Peter indignantly. "You really do need a brain, don't you, why-"
Peter was about to yell at James when Regulus reappeared and told them the message.
"Go home! The Wizard says go away!"
"Go away?" they all asked.
"Oh…" Lily said, her eyes beginning to water.
"I guess we came this whole way for nothing," James said sadly. "Well, except for that cool little golden ball," he added, wishing he had actual fingers so that he could play with the Golden Snitch. Maybe Lily would find it attractive.
Silent tears flowed down Lily's face. "I was so happy! I…I thought I was on my way home!"
"Lily, please don't cry!" Remus said, trying to fight back his own tears. "We'll try to get you to see the Wizard!"
"That's right!" James said proudly. His grin faded and he leaned over to Remus. "Er…how? How are we?"
"Hey…maybe…maybe I should attempt my first roar as King of the Forest," Peter suggested.
"No, don't! Remus is the only one here who could roar professionally!" James said quickly.
Remus glared at him.
"I mean…um…who do you want to roar at, Peter?" James asked hastily.
"Hmm…I don't know," Peter said. "Maybe I could sing us a happy song or I could-"
"And my mother and father were so good to me!" Lily cried on, drowning out Peter's words. "And now they probably think I don't appreciate it at all!"
Regulus stared at them and a tear rolled down his cheek.
"And I…I just can't forgive myself!" Lily sobbed. "Never, never, never!"
"Lily, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for this," said Remus, eyes watering.
James had a feeling someone was watching them, and indeed when he turned around he saw Regulus watching them and crying.
"Look! The guard is crying!" he said to his friends. He looked back at Regulus. "If you think it's so sad, you've got to let us in!"
Regulus snorted. "I wasn't crying because of what you were saying, those were tears of joy! The Great Black didn't really want you all to go away, but I just felt like telling you he did and you believed me! That was brilliant!"
Lily looked at Regulus, unable to understand why he would do such a thing. "I don't find it funny. Will you let us see the Wizard?"
"You have five minutes," Regulus said, returning to his mean manner. "You know, that was quite a touching story," he added.
"Lily, you should tell it to the world, then!" James said.
"Just tell it to the Wizard," Regulus said grumpily. "Come on, that way. I haven't got all day." He pointed down the hallway. The four nodded, and began to walk down it.
Peter started trembling as they walked. "You know, I was thinking. I really don't want to see this Wizard after all. I don't have to be King of the Forest. In fact…yes, I've changed my mind. I'll just wait for you outside!"
"Don't you want the Wizard to give you some courage?" Lily asked.
"I'd…I'd be too scared to ask him for some!" Peter admitted.
"Well, I'll ask him for you," Lily said.
"Nah, I think that I'll just wait outside…" He tried to scurry away, but James quickly stepped on the back of his tail. "Owww!" yelled Peter.
"Why though?" Lily asked. "Why wait outside?"
"Because I'm still scared!" Peter said.
"Da de da de da…echo…echo…echo…" came a loud voice with a bored tone from down the hall. "Doo de doo da… doo doo doo…. Da de da…"
"Oh no! Disembodied voices. You know, that's really a bad sign…" Peter whimpered, trying to run away again. James rammed one of his hooves at Peter's butt and the rat slid forward. Peter whimpered again.
"Oh, come on! We're almost at the Wizard!" Lily pointed out.
"The Wizard…" came the same voice a little grumpily. "The Great Wizard of Black…Black…Black…Black…"
The four reached another pair of gleaming Ebony doors, and pushed them open, as the same loud voice boomed more confidently, "The Great Wizard of Black! Forward!"
In a large black throne was a huge shaggy black dog's head that floated above it, from which smoke and black flames came from.
"Let's go back, let's go back!" Peter whined. "It's the Grim! An omen of death! We should turn around and go back!"
"Who are you?" boomed the same voice, issuing from the black dog's head.
Lily, James, and Remus had begun to join Peter in trembling.
"Who are you?" the voice repeated.
The four trembled with fear again, and then Remus tapped Lily lightly on the shoulder and motioned for her to go and speak for them.
Trembling, she began to speak. "I'm…I'm…Lily. Lily the…small…and…meek. We all just…came to ask you…if…"
"Silence!" the voice roared.
Lily jumped back and joined the others.
"I, the Great and Powerful Black, know why you have come. Step forward…Werewolf!"
"Oh…that's- that's me!" Remus moaned. Even though he had spent years before as a monstrous wolf, he still felt quite inferior to this floating dog head.
"So…you've come to ask me for a heart? Hmm?" Black asked. "You, a former werewolf, think that you need this heart to recall your human side? After you have attacked and killed, and now become an overly sympathetic man?"
"Oh…well…yes," Remus muttered. "You see…it all began when we were, um… Lily was on the yellow brick road, and, er, then she found us and I'd been, well, and so we were walking and-"
"Quiet!" Black shouted, and with no hesitation, Remus jumped back with the others.
James was terrified, but decided that now was the time to impress Lily. He stepped forward proudly, trying not to look afraid, then bowed his head deeply in front of the floating dog head.
"And you, Stag! You want a brain? Well, we all know that being the idiot you are, you certainly need one," Black boomed.
James bowed deeply again. "Yes…Your Dog-ness. I mean…Your Canine-ist! Wait! I mean…Your Wizardry!"
"That's enough!" Black roared, and James scurried back with the others. "And the rat…" he said. "You want the courage to be a King of the Forest, though you are only a rat?"
"Uh…umm…" Peter murmured. "Yeah…I'm an excellent rat… But I just thought that maybe if I was braver, I could be the King and have some respect… Uh…"
"If you can't earn respect without being a King, then you aren't worthy!" Black roared.
Peter fainted.
"You…You should be ashamed of yourself!" Lily said to Black. "You scared him! And…and…he was only trying to ask for your help!"
"Silence!" Black roared again. "The Great Black has every intention of granting your requests."
"He does?" Peter asked weakly, starting to wake up as Remus continued to slap him in the face.
"But before I grant your wishes, you will have to do a very small task. I want the broomstick of Bellatrix, the Wicked Witch of the West," Black boomed.
"Um…Your Wizardry," spoke Remus softly. "Not that…that I'm trying to put down your...er…task…but…if we were to get Bellatrix's broomstick we'd have to…t-to kill her!"
"I want the broomstick of Bellatrix, the Wicked Witch of the West," Black repeated. "Go!"
"I-I-I-I have a question," whimpered Peter. "What happens if-if…she kills us first?"
"I said go!" roared Black.
Peter didn't need to be told again. He promptly turned around and began running out of the room and down the dark corridor as fast as his little rat legs would take him.