Author's Note:
Me: Haha. This took WAY too long to write/post. So why now, you ask? Well, I'm putting off studying for midterms. Isn't that the best reason of them all?
Solez: You're just lazy, aren't you?"
Me: You finally noticed.
ChivalryIsDead(dot)com/Chapter4JustFightAlready
"There," said Solez, sitting down with the boys at a very large table. "Here's lunch!"
"…" The boys looked down at their plates; onigiri (rice balls). "HOW does this qualify as lunch?" demanded Kyo. His gaze fell to the cat shaped onigiri on his plate. "Trying to turn me into a cannibal, eh?"
"Look, you stupid cat," started King Haru getting to his feet. "This was all prepared by the lovely Solez. So eat it—or else."
"Make me."
"Umm…" said Solez waving her hand at the two boys, "Actually they came prepackaged, all I did was put them in the microwave."
"But you still prepared them for us, and THAT'S what counts."
"If you say so…"
Kyo sniffed some of the onigiri on the table, "BLEH!" he shouted. "Those are LEEK onigiri! There's nothing more disgusting!"
Haru reached out and grabbed Kyo's collar. "Look you pansy," he pulled his face closer to his own. "Eat it—like it—or I'll turn that not-so-pretty face of yours inside out."
"Who're you calling a pansy, you pansy!" shouted Kyo. That tears it. Haru let go of Kyo who took a fighting stance. "I hope you're ready to get your butt kicked, baka baka." (A/N: baka is Japanese for "stupid" it is also Spanish for "cow". So baka baka is "stupid cow".) "Cuz I'm bringing the hurt on!" The cat charged for the cow, but right before they had the chance to kill each other, Solez pressed yet another new button on her magic controller.
"QUIT IT!" she shouted. Both boys turned into little kids. "I can't say that I'm not surprised by your behavior. But honestly! Haru," Solez reverted into her ultra-cute mode, her eyes twinkled, cheeks flushing an adorable shade of fuchsia. "I thought that maybe—just maybe, you could keep from turning black—for me?"
"…! YOU'RE TOO CUTE!" cried Haru as he skipped over to Solez and gave her a great big hug.
"Wait," said Kyo, staring at the two. "Why don't you transform when you hug that girl, Haru? Unless—SHE'S A HE!"
Haru and Solez punched Kyo simultaneously. "Idiot." They both stated.
"You didn't have to hit me!" he yelled angrily.
"But it was so fun."
"Feh! …But really, why DON'T you transform?"
"I can explain," said Solez.
"You're not some random part of the zodiac, are you?" questioned Haru.
"Sadly, no… But I am able to hug you without you changing because… because of a special, wonderful magical thing," the boys leaned foreword, eager to hear the girl's secret. "Called plot holes." The all fell forewords. THAT'S her secret technique? Ugh…
"… Good enough for me." said Haru monotonously, resuming his hug.
"Now," started Solez, snuggling into Haru's embrace. "I've finished lunch, is everyone ready to resume the fighting? And I don't mean you two." She glared over at Kyo.
"Feh!" he muttered, clearly upset that he wasn't allowed to finish his fight."
"Okey dokey, where were we?"
"Me v. Syaoran." said Caleb, ready for a good fight.
"K'dinklie, everyone else, back here!" Solez marched toward the back room. Once everyone was safe from any potential harm, she picked up the microphone and shouted "FIGHT!"
The boys turned to the girls' window, hoping to see their cuties before duke-ing it out. And sure enough, there was Cornelia and Sakura.
"Hurry up and win," stated Cornelia irritably. "We can't exactly use magic back here."
"What she said…" sighed Sakura.
"Don't worry, you'll be out of there in no time." comforted Syaoran.
"Alright kid, bring it on!" Caleb charged at Syaoran, who ducked and threw a kick at the other boy. Caleb caught the foot and sent Syaoran flying across the room. He quickly recovered, well aware of the ten second rule. Syaoran ran towards Caleb and jumped into the air. He thrust his foot down once more, but Caleb dodged it again.
"Cool…" sighed Solez, munching on some popcorn that she got from who-knows-where. "Too bad the rest of the fights weren't this exciting." Haru nodded, still clinging to his queen. "OOH!" shouted Solez, jumping up. "This is it!"
Caleb threw a punch that hit Syaoran square on the jaw. He fell to the ground; Caleb pressed his foot down on Syaoran's chest so that he couldn't get up. "Had enough, kid?"
"No… where… near!" shouted Syaoran as he took hold of Caleb's foot, knocked him off balance, and threw him against the wall. He ran over and kicked him hard in the gut to keep him down.
"…Winner—SYAORAN!"
"CALEB!" screamed Cornelia in fright.
"Is he okay, Syaoran?" asked Sakura worriedly.
He nodded. "Just winded," The girls sighed in relief.
"…Oh CRAP!" screamed Corny, she sank to her knees behind the glass. "I'm going to that pink guy now, aren't I?" Solez nodded. "Nooooo…" the steel door closed over the window.
"… I can't believe I lost…" whispered Caleb, still slumped up against the wall. "I failed Cornelia…" He looked up; Syaoran was holding his hand out to him. Caleb took it and was helped up by the victor. "Thanks,"
"You put up a great fight." They shook hands, smiling at each other.
"…!" Solez watched the two with teary eyes. "Now THAT'S Chivalry! Ten extra points for Syaoran and Caleb!"
"Wait, what ARE these points you've been talking about, anyway?" asked Kish.
"Well, you all started out with 100 points. Each time you win a battle, you gain 10 points, and each time you lose one, you lose 5 points. Understand?"
"Then why did they just get ten extra points?"
"Extra little things get you extra points. Oh, and I do except bribery—in certain forms. And as for the intelligence challenges later on…well, I'll decide the points you all win and lose when I cross that bridge." They all stared at her. "Anyhoo, next up," she clicked the spotlight button. "Clef vs. Edward!"
Inu-Yasha snickered. "Oh good, they're BOTH shrimps."
"WHO 'YA CALLIN' SHORT?" demanded Clef. "I'm 700 years older than you!"
"What do you mean I'm so short that you need a microscope to see me?" screamed Ed. "Who're you calling tiny, undernourished, two fries short of a Happy-Meal, or—"
"I didn't say any of those things!" yelled Inu-Yasha, trying to protect himself from Ed's wrath.
"Quit it, you two!" yelled Solez, ushering the odd-boys-out into the other room. "Just start your stinking fight, already! And Ed," she cooed. "You are SO NOT short!"
"Eh heh…" Ed smiled at her.
"Edward Elric," screamed Winry from behind her glass window. "WHO is SHE?" she demanded.
"Touchy girlfriend you got there, shorty." said Umi haughtily.
"He is so not by boyfriend." denied Winry. "But yours seems real old, a perfect match, I'd say."
"You've gotta be kidding me!" shouted Umi. "Clef is no boyfriend of mine!"
"Well neither is Ed!"
The two boys stumbled foreword a little as their "girlfriends" bickered about not liking the boy that was supposed to be saving them.
"Ascot is way cuter than Clef!" At this, Clef fell over, a dark rain cloud hovering over his head.
"Al is taller than Ed, and he's younger! That's all that needs to be said!" Edward collapsed at the harsh words, invoking a rain cloud of his own.
"Winry, that's not very nice." said Al.
The girl's heart skipped a beat upon hearing the childish voice from behind her. "A-A-A-AL!" she stuttered. "How the hell did YOU get here?"
"…Plot hole?" he shrugged; Winry slapped her forehead and sighed.
"Yoo-hoo!" called Solez, "Start the damn fight already, or BOTH your little girlfriends will go to my brother!"
"…see if we care." huffed the two boys.
"…Fight now or I'll turn YOU into girls and give you to my brother." At that, the boys scrambled to their feet and assumed their ready stances. "Ready? And remember all magic power is free—FIGHT!" Clef conjured a giant lightning ball and hurled in at Ed, who barely dodged it.
"That's it, takes this!" Ed slapped his hands on the ground, attempting to do some ultra-cool-and-powerful alchemy, but then nothing happened. "What the hell? Hey, little girl!" he shouted at Solez, "I thought you said all magic power was free!"
"I did, but alchemy's not magic—it science. You thought that I'd actually give you the power of a philosopher's stone?"
"Well… yeah."
"Oh Ed," she sighed, laughing at the poor boy. "Equivalent exchange: if everyone else gets free fighting ability, then of course one won't. And that one just happens to be you."
"… kill me now…"
"I will," said Clef, firing another ball of lightning at Ed who turned around with all his rage flaring, transmuted the mage's attack into a giant bowling ball and hit it back at Clef with his auto-mail arm. "Eep." POW!
"Winner—Edward!" cheered Solez dreamily.
"Yay, brother!" cheered Al.
"Way to go Ed!" cheered Winry, sticking her tongue out at Umi who was being dragged away kicking and screaming by Zelos.
"Next up," said Solez, spotlights working their mechanical magic, "Lantis vs. Yoh!"
"Yoh!" yelled Anna, "Get me out of here RIGHT NOW!"
"Say, um… Solez? Can I just forfeit this fight?"
"Yoh, suck it up and take it like a man."
"But its ANNA…" he whined.
"FIGHT!"
"Rats."
Yoh turned to face Lantis, who was charging at him with his BFG, wait, no, his BFS (big fking sword). Yoh stared at the oncoming warrior and laughed. He then did his spirit-control-thingy and got out his BFS. Needless to say, within a second Solez shouted "Winner—Yoh!" Oh, poor Hikaru. It seems like all the magic knight's boys are losing, doesn't it? That's because I hate them all. What're you taking about? I thought you wrote this stupid fic so that you could have your 20 favorite guys in the same room. Well, yeah. But that doesn't mean I like some of them. Then why'd you put them in here? It's not like you were planning something for the girls' side. "…" ARE you planning something for the girls' side? Silly Solez, you'll just have to wait and find out. Are you gonna kill off a couple of boys? I plead the fifth. Will one of them be Inu-Yasha? No. Whyyyyyyy? Because he's soooooo fun to zap. Ha ha, he is, isn't he? Um, excuse me? Yes, Zelos? Can we get on with the story, if you don't mind? Alright, I just one to know one more thing. Yes? When does Jimmy show up? Shh! You're ruining the story! You started it! Did not! Did to! Um…Ladies? The story? Huh? Oh, right…get on with it girly. I will. "Next, Luffy vs. Daisuke!" shouted Solez after the new spotlights had stopped. The two boys stepped out into the arena.
"Oh man, Daisuke," shouted Dark, laughing at his counter part. "You are SO dead!"
"Says you!" cried the red head.
"FIGHT!"
Daisuke turned to Luffy, but when he did, Luffy had stretched his arm across the room and had punched his opponent. "Owe!" cried Daisuke, cupping his cheek; he could hear Dark laughing at him from behind the safety glass. "Shut up!" he then heard a snoring, Daisuke whipped around to face Dark but it wasn't him making the noise. Daisuke turned back to Luffy, who had fallen asleep.
"Ugh…I should've seen this coming. Winner—Daisuke!"
"I won?"
"He won?"
"I did it!"
"HOW!" screamed Dark. "Lucky…" he mumbled.
"Next up, Ferio vs. Hayate!"
"Ready to get your butt kicked?" taunted Ferio, drawing out his giant sword.
"I was gonna ask you the same thing." said Hayate, taking out his sword.
"Ready? FI—Hold on!" The boys stumbled forward, annoyed at the new command.
"What is it?" demanded Ferio.
"I've seen the future and this fight takes too long."
"So?"
"So I'm skipping ahead a little?"
"Huh?"
A bright flash of light and then suddenly Hayate was lying on the ground, unconscious. "Winner—FERIO!"
"Ya—" the boy started to cheer, but he soon collapsed from what he assumed was exhaustion.
"Is that the end of this fighting thing?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"Never." said Solez, zapping him.
"Then what's there left?" asked Chrono.
"This." Solez pressed a button on her remote and three new boys fell in from the ceiling.
X
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End Note:
Solez: So, who're the new recruits?
Me: Didn't we already discuss this?"
Zelos: No.
Me: Fine. Then I'll give you their initials.
Solez: How will that help?
Me: It won't.
Zelos: Then what's the point?
Me: Exactly. Here they are: J.K.(or in the Japanese version, S.K.)/C.E., K., N.
Solez: What're the last names of the last two?
Me: Eh heh…I can't remember them right now.
Zelos: Then give us a bigger hint.
Me: Fine. First, Shini. Ku./Co. Edi. Next, Kazu. And finally, Naru.
Solez: Do I smell more Shonen Jump characters?
Me: Maybe…
Zelos: Booyah! Boy comics always have the hottest chicks!
Me and Solez: (stares)
Zelos: What?
Me and Solez: (Hits Zelos on head with giant hammers)