Summary, disclaimer, etc. in chapter 1.

Last Scorpion - thanks for the review.Cheers!

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Lucky Devil

June1995

"Is it her?" House asked suspiciously as Wilson answered the phone. "I'm not here."

He sprang off the couch and skittered to Wilson's kitchenette, as if putting more distance between himself and the phone would make a difference.

"Hi Stacy," Wilson said, rolling his eyes at House. "Yes, he's here."

"Bastard!" House growled from behind the counter.

Wilson listened for a moment then looked at House. "She says come home."

"I'm not here!" House hissed and ducked under the counter again.

"He says he's not here," Wilson said. He listened again, nodding, and smiled wickedly. "I know, he is being ridiculous."

House appeared long enough to stick his tongue out at Wilson.

Wilson's smile became evil as he turned away from House. "You say his performance has been wanting lately? I'm sorry to hear that." He paused. "Faking?" he said in a scandalized voice, "Really? Do you want to talk about it?"

House leapt across the room and snatched the phone from him.

"Stacy," he barked into the receiver.

He shot daggers at Wilson, who was shaking with laughter, when he heard nothing but a dial tone.

"She hung up a while ago," Wilson said through a guffaw.

"I gathered that," House grumbled. He threw the phone at Wilson and flopped down on the couch, mumbling to himself.

Wilson snickered then sobered up. "Go home, House," he said. "Buy her some flowers—maybe an expensive bottle of wine, whatever she likes—swallow your pride and apologize." He clapped House on the shoulder. "You'll thank me in the morning."

"If you're so good at this, why are you divorced?" House mumbled as he got to his feet and found his wallet and keys.

"I can't find one person who has all of the qualities I want," Wilson said with a shrug. "But you." He pointed a finger at House. "You're lucky. Act like it."

House grumbled something as he went toward the door. Wilson smiled forlornly as the door closed: House didn't know how good he had it. His smile faded and he glanced at the phone. Maybe it wasn't too late to reconcile.

No. It was too late. He turned the volume up on the television and started working on the beer House had left behind.