A Fool To Think

Chapter Twenty

Sam looked over at Danny and saw that he was looking at her again. It was the fifth time she had caught him doing that within a ten minute time period. At first she thought it was almost funny but now she was starting to worry.

"Is there a reason you keep staring at me?" Sam asked Danny while they were doing paperwork at the conference table in the middle of the office on Monday morning. "I was eating a donut earlier in the break room. Do I still have powdered sugar on my face?"

"No." Danny shook his head.

"Are you sure?" She asked, looking at him strangely. "'Cause it wouldn't be nice to let me walk around all day with powdered sugar on my face."

"You don't have any food particles on your face." Danny assured her.

If she didn't have something on her face, then she was confused. "Then why are you staring?"

"You're a very attractive woman." Danny replied.

Her eyes narrowed. "Thanks…I think."

"I'm not trying to hit on you." Danny wanted to make that very clear. "I promise."

"Then quit staring!" She laughed. "People are going to think that we're…you know."

"I know." Danny nodded. "Martin has already asked me if we're dating a couple of times. He even came over to the table Friday night when you were in the ladies room."

"He did?" She asked, surprised by that. She honestly didn't think that Martin cared at all.

"Yeah. He was looking very jealous and thought that we were dating." Danny explained.

"Caroline cornered me in the ladies room and asked the same thing." Sam admitted. "I don't think she knows about my past with Martin though. She was way too nice to me. If she knew about it I think she would have said something to me."

"Unless she's trying to kill you with kindness." Danny suggested.

She laughed. "Nobody tries to kill people with kindness anymore—at least not smart people. Smart people know that it doesn't work."

"Maybe she's not smart." Danny offered.

"No, she's smart." Sam shook her head. "She's smart and pretty and has a sense of humor. She's everything Martin could hope for because she's not me."

"I wouldn't say that." Danny told her.

"Danny, just face it. Martin is over me. He's moved on. I hate to admit it, but it's the truth. He doesn't want me anymore."

"I don't think that's true." Danny pointed out. "I think it's a positive sign that Martin was so jealous."

"Well of course he would be jealous if he thought I was dating you. If I was dating some random guy off the street he wouldn't be jealous of them. But you're one of his closest friends. Wouldn't dating me violate some kind of boys code?" Sam asked.

Danny couldn't help but laugh. "A boys code? What exactly is a boys code?"

"You know," Sam laughed, "a boys code! It's a set of rules that boys are supposed to follow concerning women and stuff like that."

"What's in this boys code?"

"Stuff like 'don't date your best friends' ex-girlfriend." Sam explained. "You mean there is no boys code?"

"There might be, but I've never heard of it." Danny laughed. "Is there a girls code?"

"Absolutely!" Sam laughed. "'Course I never really went along with the rules."

"So we have a rule-breaker on our team!" Danny teased.

"Oh shut up and get back to work." Sam playfully shoved more papers in his direction.

"Yes ma'me." Danny saluted her.

Martin watched the interaction between Danny and Sam as he came back from the break room. They seemed really close and, although Danny denied it, he couldn't shake the feeling that they were more than friends.

That really shouldn't bother him because, after all, he was determined to move on and get past his failed relationship with Sam. He had Caroline and she was a bunch of fun. He enjoyed the time he spent with her. But he was beginning to see that Danny was right. Caroline would never be Sam.

Caroline will never be able to reproduce Sam's unique laughter. She'll never have the same sparkle in her eyes that Sam has when she looks at him. She'll never have the same dry wit sense of humor that Sam has. She'll just never be Sam.

When he sat back down at his desk and placed the coffee he had gone to get down next to his phone, he felt his heart constrict. It was like his heart was placed into a vice grip and someone was squeezing it. It took him a moment to realize that his heart was physically fine. It only ached because he was missing Sam.

He shook his head to try and get thoughts of her out of his head, but wasn't having much luck. He could still hear her laughter coming from the conference table as she laughed at some joke Danny was making. The sound of her sweet laughter haunted his dreams for years.

He never really thought that he would hear it again, but now that he heard it almost everyday, he wished it would go away again. Hearing her laughter only made him want to relive the good times they shared, which in turn made him want to give her another chance. But he couldn't do that.

He couldn't give up that easily. She hurt him really badly when she left him. He loved and trusted her, yet she didn't trust him. She said that she really did love him, but how was he really supposed to believe that? She believed the worst about him.

Granted, there was evidence that pointed to him. But she should have at least talked to him about it. If she was going to leave him, she owed him that much. But he didn't get that courtesy. Instead he got a scribbled note minutes before they were supposed to get married.

It was time for another game of hypotheticals, a new game that he invented after Sam told him everything about Alex and the website scam.

Hypothetically, if he did forgive her and they started dating again, how was he supposed to trust that she wouldn't leave him again? How was he supposed to trust that she wasn't going to be constantly looking for signs that he was plotting to hurt her?

What if they got back together only to realize that they weren't the same people they were in college? What if they discovered that they really didn't belong together anymore because they had both changed so much? What if they ended up breaking up again?

He wasn't sure that he would be able to withstand that—not a second time. Going through a break-up with her was hard enough the first time. A second break-up was something that he thought might really hurt him beyond repair.

On the flip side, what if they got back together and were actually happy? What if they ended up getting married and having a family together? What if they starting dating again and found that although time had changed, their feelings for each other hadn't? What would happen then?

Would she actually show up to that hypothetical wedding? Or would she leave him at the alter again?

He was so caught up in his game of hypotheticals that he didn't notice Danny had come over to his desk and was waving his hand in front of Martin's face to get his attention.

"Martin? Earth to Martin Fitzgerald. Hello?" Danny waved his hand, hoping to get Martin's attention.

"Sorry." Martin focused his attention on Danny. "What were you saying?"

"Were you daydreaming about a girl?" Danny teased.

"What do you want Danny?" Martin asked, not wanting to admit that he was thinking about Sam.

"You were!" Danny exclaimed. "You were daydreaming about a girl."

"I was not." Martin denied.

"Were too." Danny told him. "You had this dreamy, far-off look on your face. I know that face well because I have had that look many times—and all of those times I was thinking about women."

Martin sighed, knowing that Danny was going to continue talking about this until he admitted everything. "Ok fine. You win. I was thinking about a woman."

"I knew it!" Danny grinned. "So was it woman number one," he pointed to Sam's empty desk, "or Caroline, woman number two?"

"It's none of your business." Martin told him.

"So it was Sam." Danny deduced. He knew that Martin wouldn't have kept the fact that he was thinking about Caroline a secret from him. He would have been happy to say that he was thinking about his new girlfriend. The only woman that he would be reluctant to tell him that he was thinking about was Sam.

"It doesn't mean anything." Martin told his friend.

"What doesn't mean anything?" Sam asked, appearing at Danny's side and handing him a coffee. She had only heard Martin say something didn't mean anything and couldn't help but be curious about what they were talking about.

"Well Martin was just telling me about how…" Danny started to tell Sam everything.

"I was telling Danny that the recent surge in paperwork versus actual cases doesn't mean anything. It will all even out at some point." Martin interrupted, pleased that he was able to come up with such a convincing lie on such short notice. The last thing he wanted was for Sam to know that he was daydreaming about her.

"Martin's right." Sam agreed, turning to Danny. "It all evens out eventually."

"Well I'm glad we got that settled." Danny laughed, playing along with Martin's lie. He could understand that Martin didn't want Sam to know about how he was daydreaming about her, but he loved torturing him and making him think that he was going to tell her. The look of sheer terror on his face when he started to tell Sam about it was priceless.

"Did you want anything else Danny?" Martin asked.

"Not really." Danny shook his head.

"Ok. Well we all have work to do." Martin reminded them.

"Right." Sam sighed, going back to the conference table.

Danny leaned in close to Martin's desk. "Are you actually going to do work or are you going to daydream about Sam again?"

Martin shooed Danny away from his desk. "Just go back to work!"

"Ok, ok, ok." Danny his hands up in mock defeat. "Don't have a cow man."