Oh, I forgot this in the previous chapter…

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yeah.

Cliché 2: The Compromising Position And The Vague Introduction Of Canon Characters

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The figure was gone, and a monolithic truck was coming at them.

Shrill screams filled the air, and bright lights were all that were seen.

They braced themselves for heavy impact, but…

thud

Then…

thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud

Opening her eyes, Cade saw strange and thoroughly deformed, bipedal things in the light-that-was-so-bright-that-her-eyes-had-trouble-adjusting-to-it were colliding with right side of the car and shattering the window.

Cade seized the steering wheel and brought the car to a sharp halt thud, opened the window and stuck her head out to check if any of the creature thingies were still alive.

Her attention was diverted when one of the thingies threw itself across the bonnet and began clawing at the glass; it looked like a typical evil minion from a fairytale: gross, grey mottled skin, sharp, crooked yellow and brownish teeth, hooked nose, demented eyes, clad in weathered rags and wielding some sort of crude sword. For about 4 seconds, Cade stared at the said thing like a stunned mullet.

She was literally slapped out of her stupor by Emine who was shrieking:

"OI! Dumb bitch! Drive! Drive!"

Cade smashed down on the accelerator and saw in the rear view mirror that they were being chased by about eight more of the gremlins.

"GO GO GO!" Emine yelled.

They sped off into the distance in any random direction, after fifteen minutes they stopped.

"What the fuck smells so damn gross?" Cade inquired and looked behind her. "Oh, that's just wrong," she choked out and undid the child lock.

Emine opened the door and rolled head first onto the ground while Cade opened the rest of the doors to air out the car. She scrambled around in the glove box in search of air freshener and a water bottle.

After she found them, Cade sprayed the entire contents of the aerosol on the backseat and some on the prone, bile-covered carcass half hanging out the door; she threw the bottle at its head.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" it whined.

"Because you smell bad. Really bad. Wash yourself, you miscreant," Cade replied as she was holding her nose.

"Fuck you."

"I know you want to," Cade said in a mock-horny tone.

"No." Emine took off her shirt and sprayed it with water. "Get my suitcase; I need to change."

Cade got out of the car and opened the boot. "So yours is the multicoloured Louis Vuitton?"

"Yeah," Emine responded.

"Eurgh. You have no taste," Cade said and shoved it in Emine's direction.

Cade walked off, ostensibly looking for a road. "Riddle me this: what time did we leave Jacky Boy's?"

"Midday-ish. Why?"

"It was dusk…"

"Your point being?"

"Look at the friggin' sky! Is it dark! NO!" Cade yelled the last bit in a vague Irish accent and indicated the bright mid afternoon sky.

"What do you think the reasons for that are? You're the smart one who knows all about all the mysteries of the universe and infinitum. You've got all the answers to everything; you tell me," Emine yelled back, putting on a rather slutty singlet.

"Hmmm… yes. I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-A-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T. Look I'm on your level now," and with she did her best impression of a kid with Down Syndrome.

Emine moved toward the car door, narrowing her eyes at Cade.

Cade composed herself and continued, "Well I can't answer everyone's fuckin' questions, okay?" She swallowed and grit her teeth, "And... what the hell is that?" she pointed to the orc across the bonnet.

Emine stared at the alien form. She actually thought about what it could be, but that was impossible. She discarded it and looked on with practised indifference.

"I have no clue whatsoever," she somewhat lied.

"You're a shit liar. "

"I'M NOT LYING!" Emine's mouth twitched slightly. She hoped that she could skirt around this issue like she did with all the others.

In silence, they took the body by the arms and pushed it off the car.

"Get in the car; we're going to find a road. Get your mobile out too."

Emine got in the front seat, got her phone out of the glove box.

"No reception." She sighed. The GPS didn't seem to be working either. Emine began a panic attack, for the sake of doing something.

Cade looked at her friend. "What are you-?" She was cut off by a phone being waved in her face.

"WHY ARE YOU WAVING THAT THING IN MY FACE?" Cade roared.

"THERE'S NO GPS!" Emine cried, a few octaves higher than usual.

"Well a country road isn't exactly named." Cade shook her head and rolled her eyes at Emine's antics.

"We were in Kempsey south. That's what it said," Emine gesticulated at the mobile's screen.

"Well where do you think we are now? It was dark when we were in Kempsey south as you said." Cade pursed her lips.

"Lets just find a goddamn road." Emine backed down. "Go thattaway," she pointed to what she assumed was west.

"You didn't answer my question," Cade said.

Emine deliberated for quite some time; she knew that if she said what she really thought she'd get bitch slapped.

"Purgatory. I think we're in purgatory," she said, looking out the window.

"Okay. Lets take our minds off the fact that we're probably dead and just don't realise." Cade smiled and got out her CD case. They decided on the Bloodhound Gang and the Whitlams. In a matter of seconds they were singing along to "Fire Water Burn"; Cade even did a white girl gangster rap.

Somewhere in the distance, the ears of two males elves perked up at the sound of voices. They had found a band dead orcs nearby and decided to investigate the source of the wailing noise; they had their bows and lots of arrows with them as well.

"Tirio", one of the elves said, and pointed at the silver automobile. Look

"Man sa?" queried the other and looked in the direction. What is it?

"Avo faro an brestad; sa telitha le," he continued. Don't look for trouble; it will come to you

Well, this is getting off to a shaky start. Special thanks to Just Me and Jinxeh for reviewing.