CHAPTIRE TROIS!
CAPITAL TRE!
CHAPTER THREE!
Starfire was crying in the woods, in the fetal position, when she heard a mysterious song coming from deeper within the woods.
"Oooohoohoohoodooodoo ooo oo ooo oo… etc, Don't worry be happy now!"
She rubbed her eyes and started walking towards the sound. "Who is there? Hello? May I ask who iscalling?"
"Landlord say your pay is late, he may have to lift the gate! But don't worry! Be happy!"
"WHO THE BLORKSNAG IS THAT!" Star screeched.
"Heeey man! Chill out! I'm just your stereotypical Jamaican friend, Rastafa!" He smiled, appearing from behind a palm tree and flipping his dreadlocks.
"Oh, Rastafa. I am glad to see you. Will you please direct me back to the area which our hotel is located?"
"Alright! But what's wrong child? Why are your eyes so red and puffy? Have you been smoking the ganja?"
"I know not what is this ganja you speak of, but first I was naked and then my friends treated me as an outcast and the human boy would not let me eat more of his food and.. WAAAAAH!" She wailed, throwing herself into his arms.
"I think you been smoking the ganja, but I'll help you child. Follow Rastafa to his hidden magical hut in the middle of these woods! Come child!" He said, taking her hand and leading her through many trees.
"Hey, where's Starfire? Beastboy asked
"Who cares?" Muttered Raven. "Want some more pickles?"
"Yeah, buddy!" Cried Beastboy grabbing the pickles
Cyborg was eating his prize-winning potato salad when he looked up from the picnic. "I wonder where Robin went..." He wondered aloud.
Raven snickered quickly but clasped her hands over her mouth. "He was a LITTLE held up." she said a little too pleasantly. Her cheeks turned red from trying not to laugh.
"Okaaaay..." Cy said raising his eyebrows in distrust.
"I'm back!" Robin called from the jungle-lined pathway entering the beach. He now had on red trunks with his signature "R" on the back.
Raven quickly regained enough of her composure to only smile...which was still somewhat weird.
"It's starting to get late, maybe we should go back to the hotel now." Cy said raising himself up from the ground. "It's already dark."
"Dude, no way! According to the hotel brochure, there is going to be a raggae band at nine!" Beast boy cried, "besides Cy, think of all the chicks that will be out tonight!" He nudged Cyborg, doing that whole eyebrow thing he does.
"We are called girls, not 'Chicks" Raven said glaring evilly at Beastboy.
"O.K." Beastboy gulped. He turned around and smiled wickedly "Dude she's so into me!" he thought to himself.
Raven read his mind and slapped him. "I probably deserved that." he said.
Just then Cyborg opened up the basket and poured out the contents. "BUT WHY"S THE RUM GONE?" He cried.
"Day-o Oh Day-ay-ay-oh Daylight come and I wanna go home" Sang Rafasta as he stirred a gig bubbling cauldron. He looked at Starfire.
"It is ready." He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Good" Starfire said evilly, "Soon, they will not reject me!" She cried, "SOON, THEY WILL NOT REJECT.. ANYONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"HAA HAA MON! HAHAhA!" Rafasta joined the cackling. Starfire helped him dump the contents of the cauldon into the magical metal drum. When the band played... the magic would begin! MWAHAHA-oops. I'm doing it too. It's catchy.
"Now presenting the famous "Banana boat brothers!" an announcer in a hawaiian shirt called.
"Alright!" Cy cried jumping up. "Let's hurry and find a good spot!"
The beach was a good spot to hear the band because the music could be heard all over the island and the titans were the only ones at the beach for some strange reason. They had a good view of the stage and watched happily as the band members appeared.They were all stereotypical jamaicans just like Rafasta, infact they were all his brothers-EXCEPT...
"STARFIRE?"
"I didn't know she was in a band! That's pretty hot!" BB said.
The band started to play, the mellow bouncy music echoing around the island. They were very good, the music was almost entrancing. And then, Starfire started pounding on her drum.
"WOW! SHE IS AMAZING." Robin yelled all of a sudden.
"YES!" Raven agreed.
The beat pounded harder and harder, almost as though it was pounding into the titans very souls. It was just so irresistable, that they all started to dance! Even Raven (she was really bad though.).
"OOh, yah, ooh, what a beat!" Cyborg said, swinging his hips back and fourth flambuoyently.
"Yesssssssssssss, ow ow ow!" BB started doing the air hump and winked at Cy.
Suddenly Robin jumped on Raven and started rolling around in the sand with her! And she didn't even fight back!
A maniacal cackle resonated from the stage, but the titans were oblivious to it anyway.
The music halted as Star jumped down from the stage. But all the Titans were still acting strangely. Cyborg and Beast boy were making out in the waves. Robin and Raven were half-naked.
"Ahem," Star said smirking.
Beast boy and Cy immediately ran to her and bowed down before Beast boy grabbed her.
"STAR... I missed you... baby.." He smiled, moving in for a kiss.
"EEEP! IT IS UNREASONABLE TO ENGAGE IN SANAPTO BEFORE BECOMING GARAD ON MY PLANET!" Starfire screeched, pushing him away but feeling incredibly happy inside.Beast boy looked shot down but just shrugged and went back to Cyborg.
Starfire started to walk towards Robin and Raven, grinning evilly.
"Hello Robin." She said, playing with her hair.
"MMf. Smarla" He mumbled from inside ravens mouth.
Starfire pulled him off of her and said hello again.
"Hey Star. What's up."
Meanwhile Raven was starting to look mighty impatient on the ground. "ROBIN!" She yelled, and pounced on him, instantly smothering him with kisses.
"Gotta go Star, ttyl." He winked and went back to business.
This pissed Starfire off greatly. "WTF," She thought, "THE POTION MUST BE WEARING OFF!" She glowered and went back to beast boy, hey, maybe he still wanted some sugar.
Three days later...
Raven was in the bathroom. The potion had worn off, but the consequences obviously hadn't.
"ROBIN!" She yelled and stomped violently out out of the room into Robin's bedroom. "I missed my freakin' period!" She yelled.
"So?..." asked Robin tentatively cringing.
"I'm having your baby!" She screamed, "Look at this, the strip is most definately pink!"
Her powers went suddenly out of control (a bit like the whole darth vader force storm thing) Robin ran out crying.
He ran far away, far, far, very far... until he came to find himself in the fetal position in a dark forest, sobbing.
"Oh my god... I can't believe this... what am I gonna do... we're too young to quit the titans... it's not a good place for a kid to grow up..." He mumbled between sobs.
"Ooh, ohoooooooo hooo ooo hoooooohhhh..."
Robin heard a strange voice from the darkness. "WHO'S THERE! SLADE!"
"Oohoooohhh... oooo oohh. Don't worry be happy."
Robin jumped up and pulled out one of his birdarangs, he was just about to throw it when who should appear but... RAFASTA!
"Hey mon, whats troublin you?" He said softly.
"Raven's sniff pregnant!"
"Well come with me, mon. I'll take you to a good friend of mine,and we'll make it allll betta."
"Drugs don't help, Rafasta."
"That's not what I'm talkin about, mon, this is called revenge! Just come with me!"
Intruiged, Robin followed Rafasta through many twists and turns through the woods until he finally arrived at a small hut.
"This is my shack, mon. Come on in!"
He entered and there was... A LION! OMG!
"WATCH OUT RAFASTA!" Robin yelled and whipped out his birdarang again-
"No mon, this is my home dawg, Mufasa!"
"Mufasa Mufasa Mufasa, just hearing his name makes me shudder!" Mufasa laughed, taking another whiff from his pipe and turning into a big cloud. Then-POOF! He turned into SLADE!
"SLADE!" Robin yelled, and he threw his birdarang.
Slade caught it and guffawed. "Chill, dude, I'm not here to fight, I'm here to help you! Whyyy can't weeee be friends, why can't weee be friiieeends..." He started to sing.
"Is he high?" Robin asked Rafasta.
Rafasta nodded wisely.
I can help you Robin. I know who is responsable for this. Rafasta gave a magical potion to your little buddy Starfire, which allowed her to play magical raggae music which she thought would make you fall in love with her.
"WTF, mate?" Robin raised his brows in confusion.
"She is responsible for you and Raven...um...procreating." He said snickering.
"What's so funny?" Robin cried.
"It's just...Raven...you...hehehe..." Slade said giggling.
"I'll have you know this is a very serious matter!" Robin said indignantly
"Tell me more, tell me more... did you get very far?" Slade sang mockingly.
Robin smiled grudgingly. He loved that musical. it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He heard himself responding.
"She was good if you know what I mean.." He sang before snapping out of it, "ANYWAY, WHY AM I HERE?" He yelled.
"LOLZ... raven.. robin... would you name the baby PENGUIN!" Slade chortled.
"SHUT UP!"
"Anyway, ok. Yo. Yo. Uh. Uh. Lay the beat down," Slade started to rap, "Newsflash, starfire's an ass, she made you get raven pregnant guess you failed health class, so here's what your gonna do, we gon makethat b!tch turn a different hue, so come a little closer and i'll tell you what's new!"
Robin, mezmerized by his awesome MC SKILLZ, leaned in. Slade whispered something and laughed.
"THAT'S OFF THE HIZZLE!" Robin danced, and him and Slade did their secret handshake. The deal was done and done. They informed Rafasta of the plan and set to work...