Eyghon
Author's notes: Thanks to Lenafan for sticking with me and beta reading this story!
Chapter
1: Slipping in
"You can get up now," said Sydney a few minutes after leaving the Mini Mart parking lot. She heard a rustling and her mother slid in the passenger seat beside her. "The agents didn't see you get in?"
"Of course not," smiled Irina, inwardly thankful for the lot's bad lighting and the car's tinted windows.
Sydney stopped at a red light and took the opportunity to scrutinize her mother. She looked better than the last time they had seen each other, in Sovogda. Two months ago, Irina had looked so thin and frail. Now she seemed more like the woman Sydney had met in Taipei, all muscles and strength. Irina smiled at her and lifted her hand to Sydney's cheek. It's the closest she dared to go for now.
Irina had not let Sydney touch her on the flight back from Guatemala because the memories of her imprisonment and subsequent torture were too vivid to bear any physical contact. Now that she was more clear headed, she scolded herself for being so touchy and throwing away such an opportunity. Sydney had reached out to her and she had refused what solace Sydney had offered then.
On the other hand, none of what happened to her during her time in Elena's custody absolved her of anything prior to that. She vividly remembered the circumstances of their last meeting, in Mexico City. She also remembered hitting Sydney and then knocking her down with a taser. She had shown no mercy, why would Sydney?
Now, that moment from the plane was gone, but Irina hoped there would be others. She wouldn't reach out; she would wait for Sydney to do so, again. She didn't want to get her hopes up and come crashing down afterwards. It would be too painful; she wasn't mentally strong enough yet to take a rebuff from her daughter. 'Have no expectations' is a rule she scrupulously observed. It had saved her many disappointments.
For all she knew, Sydney had come back to her senses and wanted nothing to do with her mother, whom she might still hate. That theory went to hell as soon as Sydney returned her gesture, surprising them both. Her daughter's hand touched her cheek, softly, as if she feared she might break her.
"It's been two months. I was worried," confessed Sydney. "Did you get out of Sovogda okay?" she asked, curious, as she pulled away from the now green light, her fellow agents still tailing her.
Irina snapped out of her daze and reality came crashing down. "Yes. Russian militaries are as incompetent as CIA agents. Present company excluded."
Sydney smirked, glad to see her mother was back in business. "Thanks. Why did you want to see me?" She asked, though she knew the answer.
"How is Nadia?" Irina got to the point.
Sydney sighed, unsure how to answer. The issue was so complicated and painful. "I…she…" Irina was looking at her with such eagerness and worry. "Do you want to see her?" She finally blurted out.
"Yes," replied Irina, a bit taken aback by the offer.
Sydney nodded and a few minutes later Irina noticed they were going to the suburbs area instead of the Naval hospital like she had expected. She trusted Sydney could easily get her in Nadia's room incognito even if it was a CIA controlled hospital. "Where are we going?" She voiced her concerns, puzzled.
"My place." Sydney hit speed dial three on her cell phone and put it on speaker, most likely for Irina's benefit who might worry about her daughter turning her in. After a few rings, an awfully cheesy and high-pitched voice answered, "Bristow Santos residence, this is Sydney speaking."
Sydney couldn't help but chuckle at her best friend's antics. "I so don't speak like that! Are you aware that my father sometimes uses this number to reach me?"
"Argh, way to kill the fun. Sorry, I was bored. I saw your number on the screen so I guessed you wanted to speak to me and thought I would spare us both the pain of having to listen to your answering machine's message."
"What's wrong with my message?"
"Nothing. It's just that after the hundredth time it gets annoying. A certain green eyed French guy didn't get the 'I'm absent' part of the message and has been calling for hours."
Sydney caught her breath, wincing. "So I guess he's free huh. Well, I'm headed home. Just unhook the cord from the wall and get back to your place."
"Its fine, I'll wait until you get there. But I'm okay with the 'killing the phone' part of your plan."
"No, don't bother waiting; I'm just a few minutes away. You can leave now."
"Seriously Syd, I can stick around five more minutes…I'll feel more comfortable that way."
"Well I don't."
"Are you bringing back someone you don't want me to see? You naughty, naughty girl. Is it a she? Cause that would be totally hot, and totally okay, and I wouldn't tell anyone. I swear."
Sydney rolled her eyes, used to Weiss's obsession over women having sexual intercourse together. "Weiss, it's late, I'm tired, you're tired; let's leave it at that. Thanks for volunteering for the evening, you're sweet, but now it's time for you to get some rest."
"Well, actually, I haven't finished my ice cream pint yet, so I can't leave before I reach the bottom, so I guess I'll see you in five." Sydney shook her head, snorting. Weiss went on, "Hey, you said to make myself at home, that's what I did. You should know better than to tell me something like that by now. Have you bought that new flavour I told you about the other day?"
"Yeah, I did. I actually took two cartons so you can bring one for your place and keep one at mine."
"Oh, you're the sweetest! Marry me?"
"You're like…my brother, that would be so wrong. In addition, you've got a thing for my sister. Huge. Gross. No really, not going to happen. And, about your unfinished ice cream, guess what? You can take it home and finish it there. And you're welcome to take the spoon with you."
"Thanks, I hadn't thought of that," he replied, serious. "Just tell me who it is and I'll be on my way. Is she a hottie? You know I could just ask the guys parked in the street, I'm sure they would tell me."
"What guys?"
"Duh, your so called bodyguards," he replied, emphasizing the word 'bodyguards', aware that they were more like watch dogs than anything else.
"They're right behind me," replied Sydney, checking in her rear view mirror to make sure.
"Oh...right, sorry. I guess those are 'my' guys then. I sound so gay. My mistake, they all look the same. Anyway, I'm sure they wouldn't mind telling me who you're bringing with you…"
Sydney hit the wheel in frustration. She hadn't realised the agents in charge of Weiss's surveillance would see her enter her apartment with Irina. She had planned on losing her tail in the maze of streets around her neighbourhood and get to her place before the agents realised she was headed home. With Weiss's watchdogs, her plan was useless.
"Eric." He snapped his mouth shut, immediately going into 'trouble mode' Sydney rarely called him by his first name, and when she did, it meant business. "I need you to take your car and go for a drive, just for five minutes."
"You want me to move the agents from the street."
Sydney sighed. The last thing she wanted was involve her best friend in something that could send him to solitary for the rest of his life…but there was no way Irina could get past the agents watching the building. "Yeah. Exactly. I can lose my tail but if your babysitters are standing watch in front of my door it's useless."
"Okay," he agreed, not asking for an explanation. It was best if he didn't know what, or whom, Sydney wanted to hide so badly.
"Great, you're the best. But do something, like go buy some Vodka or rent a movie, so they don't get suspicious."
"You got it. If you need me again, ring me on my cell."
"Will do. Thanks Weiss."
"You're welcome. Don't forget to put the two pints of ice cream in your fridge or it will melt. I'll drop by tomorrow or whenever you want to pick up the one for my fridge."
"Okay," agreed Sydney, smiling at her friend's sense of priorities.
A few minutes later Irina was inside her daughters' apartment, safely away from the CIA's prying eyes. Sydney had easily lost her tail and they had seen Weiss's car pass an intersection two streets ahead of them, his tail right behind him.
Irina looked around her carefully, taking in the atmosphere. There were a few pictures, recent, she could tell, of her daughter with various people. One of her with Jack made Irina frown in disapproval, though Sydney missed it. It seemed so formal, like they were two business associates posing for a serious magazine.
She smiled as she spotted one of her two daughters with Agent Vaughn and Agent Weiss, whom she knew from shooting him, accidentally. An abstract painting was facing a picture of the two sisters alone on the beach, smiling like schoolgirls. The kitchen was in order and a vase filled with fresh flowers stood on the counter.
"Nice place."
"Thank you," replied Sydney, not expecting that kind of reaction from her mother. "Weiss found it for me when I came back. He lives in the same complex and it's close to the beach. Nadia helped decorating it. When I was on my own it was kind of…bare."
"You had nothing to decorate it with?"
"No pictures, no ornaments brought from a vacation…nothing." Sydney lowered her eyes, thinking of all the insignificant stuffs that decorated her previous home but that had so much meaning. A shell brought from a vacation in Morocco with Francie, one of the first time she had been abroad for something else than business. A candleholder in modeling clay made by Robin for Sydney's birthday many years ago…pictures. Lots of pictures. Pictures of a lifetime. Of kindergarten, of high school friends, of her in her first car, of Danny, Francie, Will…all had been lost in the fire.
"You know I have some pictures I could give you if you want them."
"Pictures?" asked Sydney, puzzled.
"Yes, I got them from the time you were little. I used to take them to the store to be developed, and I always made doubles so I could…take them with me when I left. I also have quite a lot of you and your friends during your teenager years and also more recent ones."
"How…wait, you had me followed?"
"No. I'm not talking about surveillance photos. I'm talking about those you deposited at the Mini Mart. I paid the employee in charge to develop an additional roll for me each time a film came in. Over the years I went through a dozen different technicians and they all agreed to do it."
"Oh. Thank you, I guess." Irina smiled, nodding in acknowledgement. Sydney was overwhelmed. She was so happy to be able to get her precious pictures back! Maybe she could tell her mother the stories that went with the pictures someday. However, Irina wasn't here for that now. "Come on, follow me."
Sydney led her to one of the three closed doors Irina had spotted earlier. It was Nadia's room, and Nadia was lying in the bed, covered by a blue comforter. A night-light projected an equally blue glow on the ceiling, illuminating the young woman's soft features. Irina was in awe. Her youngest child seemed so peaceful. She looked nothing like the people her mother had crossed path with in the ravaged streets of Sovogda. Irina sat on the bed, watching the young woman.
After a few minutes, Sydney came back in the room though Irina hadn't noticed her leaving. She quietly motioned for her mother to follow her outside and closed the door behind them.
In the kitchen, Sydney poured them some tea and waited for Irina to talk.
"She looks…alright."
Sydney nodded, understanding to what her mother was referring. In Sovogda, the only sign betraying Nadia's condition were her reddish eyes, the set of her features and her zombie-like general attitude. Now, lying asleep in her bed, Nadia looked nothing like an animal, more like a child peacefully dreaming.
Irina was hanging on to a thin hope that maybe, maybe APO had found a cure for Nadia and that she was fine and the way she was before the infection. Sydney had the unappealing role of the bad news breaker.
"They tried everything with her. They put her in induced coma for a week when we came back. Then when she recovered from her bullet wound, she woke up. It was bad, Mom. It was really bad." She rubbed her face with both hands, voice quivering as she recalled the hard weeks she had spent watching her sister's self-destructive attitude. "They kept her in a padded cell for weeks. She would bang her head on the door, throw her body against the walls…they tied her to her bed to keep her from injuring herself. They gave her all sorts of injections…it changed nothing. She was in so much pain, I could tell, and I could do nothing to help her…I just stood there and watched…it was horrible…"
"Sydney there was nothing you could have done. And she's here now," gently interrupted Irina.
"Mom…they never found a cure," Sydney revealed somberly. "The effects just…dissipated on their own. Her eyes went back to normal within six weeks after the contamination."
"But she's not back to her normal self, mentally speaking, is she?" Irina asked softly.
"No. They…the doctors, they said her brains functions had been irreversibly affected by the contaminated water. They said she'd never be the same again. That she could never recover, no matter what we did. I couldn't bear to see her in this hospital so I brought her home and I'm taking care of her now. It's a full time job. Weiss helps out a lot but it's so…draining. She walks around the apartment like a zombie; she doesn't speak much. Sometimes I'm not even sure she understands me…call me selfish but it's killing me to see her like that."
"Sydney, with time she will get better…"
"No, she won't. Didn't you hear what I said? The doctors, the surgeons, the physicians and neurologists, they all said no recovery was possible. And don't you think I tried everything? That I didn't look everywhere on Earth for the best people? The best treatments? She's my sister! Or I wish she was…"
"Of course you did, Sweetheart! Of course, you did everything you could. Sydney, I'm not questioning your actions or your abilities as a sister, I'm only trying to offer comfort…" The reference to Nadia's paternity stung but Irina choose to ignore it. Sydney was upset alright, but her mother would not apologize for an affair she had almost thirty years ago. It was between Jack and her.
"I don't want comfort! I want my sister back!" Burst out Sydney, sobbing hysterically and spilling words as they came into her head. "I have to protect myself from her you know? Because sometimes she gets violent, she attacks me like she did in Sovogda. Out of the blue, she just…jumps on the nearest person. I lock myself into my bedroom at night because I'm afraid she'll kill me in my sleep. My own sister!"
"Sydney…"
"Sometimes, she gets so…angry, like a beast…," Sydney continued, unseeing as she made motions with her shaking hands. "The doctors gave me some sedatives to calm her down when she's too much for me to handle. They told me to tie her to her bed if the drugs weren't strong enough! And I did!"
Sydney was on verge of a nervous breakdown. Knowing how stubborn she was, Irina knew her daughter had probably never told anyone about this. She had kept it all bottled up inside and it was eating away at her.
"And sometimes she can be so sweet, she just comes and sits with me and puts her head on my shoulder…and I feel like it was before. But it never lasts. It never lasts." Sydney became quiet and so did her crying, which was worse than full out sobs from Irina's point of view. Her shoulders were shaking from the exertion. Irina couldn't bear to see her child in pain and tentatively reached out to hug her. Sydney let her.
They must have stayed like that for several minutes, until Irina gently helped her daughter up from the couch and led her to what she assumed was her bedroom.
Soon, Sydney fell asleep and Irina lingered a few hours, happy to be able to hold her in her arms and provide her with some comfort. She was as empty as her daughter, but she had to be the strong one.
She was Mom after all.
TBC