Chapter 15

Alexis walked into the kitchen not knowing what to expect and found Sonny cooking.

"Don't you think it's rather late to be eating?" she asked him.

"When did you eat last?"

"Um, breakfast, this morning."

"Alexis, you didn't eat anything this morning. If you'll recall we left to go see Michael before you actually ate anything, and if you didn't have lunch either then you must be starving!"

Alexis didn't realized she hadn't eaten all day. She never even noticed, but now that she thought about it she was rather hungry. But, she there was also something else on her mind.

"Sonny?"

"Alexis!"

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?"

"You know, what you said a few minutes ago."

Sonny looked up at her and gave her a quizzical look as if he didn't have a clue what she was asking him.

"I don't know, Alexis. You're going to have to refresh my memory."

"Sonny!"

"Alexis?"

"You're going to make me work for it aren't you?"

Sonny laid down the knife he had been using to cut up some fruit and walked around the counter to her. He gently took her into his arms and said "Now why would I do that? Don't you think, you've worked hard enough for me lately?"

Alexis was looking into the blackest eyes she had ever seen and was steadily drowning deeper in them with each passing moment. "I think I've definitely earned my fee over the past couple of weeks. Were you pleased with my results?"

"Lady, you have blown me away. You are more than I ever could have imagined." Sonny suddenly wanted her to know everything. He needed her to know the impact she had on his life in the short time he had known her. "Alexis, as much as I want to sit here and talk to you all night long, I need to feed you something. Can you go find something to do long enough for me to finish this? If you don't I'll never get it finished. Please?"

"Ok, Sonny. I need a shower anyway. It's been a long day and I want to talk to you too. I'll go take a quick shower and meet you back here, Ok?"

"That sounds fine." He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead before he turned back to the counter to finish the job he set for himself. He knew they would have time and he could be a very patient man.

However, Alexis was not quite so patient and a quick kiss on the forehead just wasn't going to cut it. She walked toward Sonny who had his back to her and turned him around. She looked at him for just a moment then grabbed the lapels of his shirt with both hands and leaned toward him. As her lips touched his, Sonny almost lost control. She tasted so sweet and smelled even better. She was gone in an instant leaving him breathless and aching for more. He gently laughed and turned back toward the sink. There would be time later. However, he wasn't so sure just how patient he could be now.

When Alexis returned from her shower, she hadn't bothered to dry her hair and she now wore a pair of sweats with a grossly oversized top. Sonny thought she looked adorable and couldn't wait to kiss her again. He set the table and she sat down to an omelet surrounded by cut fruit. She was suddenly ravenous. Sonny poured her a cup of coffee and sat down next to her with his own cup of coffee.

"Aren't you eating?

"I ate with Michael earlier. I also called Johnny and told him to take a break. It took me a while to convince him but, he finally understood that I wanted him to be in top form for tomorrow, well rested. He'll send over one of the other guys for tonight and be back in the morning."

Sonny wanted to know about her relationship with Johnny, but was hesitant to ask her. Alexis could tell he had questions and she didn't mind telling him what he wanted to know.

"Sonny?"

"Yea?"

"Go ahead. You can ask me whatever you like. I'll answer you as honestly as I know how."

She certainly didn't expect his first question, but she did promise to answer him honestly.

"Alexis?"

"Sonny!"

"Do you love me?"

There it was. Right out there. Could she actually say it? She had never before said those words to anyone but her mother where they could be heard. Those were words she just didn't use. But this was Sonny and for the first time in her life she wanted to say it out loud, for him to hear.

"Yes, Sonny, I love you."

"Could you explain to me this bond you and Johnny have?"

Alexis howled. She couldn't believe he had so calmly gone from asking her if she loved him to asking her about Johnny. She looked back at him and reached over to cover his hand with hers.

"Is Johnny really what you want to talk about?"

Sonny knew he wasn't making any sense. But, there was so much he wanted to know and he didn't know where to start.

"Alexis, I have waited for you all my life. I may not have known you, but there was always the promise of you somewhere in the back of my mind. How I let myself become so distracted by all of the wrong women, I'll never know. But, I knew before I left your office that first day that I wanted to know more about you. Needed to know more. And every time I saw you after that the need grew. You cannot imagine what hearing your voice in the park did to me. I saw her coming at me, and I felt Michael recoiling in fear. I needed to find a way to escape her with the least amount of damage to Michael and I couldn't see a way out."

"And then you were there. I don't know how I knew, but I saw it in your eyes. I knew what you wanted me to do and I didn't hesitate. I just picked him up and walked away. You have to understand, Alexis. I've never let anyone tell me what to do. And all of a sudden, I knew that no matter what, you would protect my son. And that was enough to change my way of thinking. And the next time I saw you, you were cozying up to Johnny and I went wild with jealousy."

"Sonny, I want to explain to you about Johnny. There is no reason for you to be jealous..."

"I know that now. But, there is something else you need to know. I know I may anger you with what I am about to tell you but I don't want any secrets between us. You've taught me a lot about the merits of honesty in the last few weeks and I find that with you I want nothing more than to be honest." He hesitated because he didn't want to lose her now. But, he needed her to know what he witnessed as he stood in the shadows on the roof.

"Sonny, there's quite a bit about my past that I would find hard sharing with you because of the ugliness of it. But, as much as I would hate to, I would if I felt you had a right to know. So, please whatever it is... tell me."

"I came by earlier this evening and found you and Johnny out. The door was open though, so I knew you hadn't gone far, so I began looking for you. I found you both on the roof." Sonny waited to see her response.

"How much did you hear, Sonny?" she asked him hesitantly.

"I heard it all, Alexis. I know I should have left, but it looked like such a special moment between you two and I was afraid you would hear me if I tried to leave. And then the more I heard the more I didn't want to leave. So I stayed. I have never seen Johnny as content as he was tonight. You gave him his life back tonight." As Sonny tried to explain what he felt as he watched them on the roof, a far away look crossed his face. It was very rare for Sonny to find anything in life to be so beautiful to him that it left him speechless. This was something totally new to him and he didn't know how to process it.

Alexis knew that Sonny was having trouble expressing how he felt about what he saw. She knew she was going to have to explain it to him. She didn't really want to, because that moment had been between herself and Johnny. But, if it would help Sonny to recognize a part of himself that he thought he had lost, then the sharing of her moment would be well worth it.

"For the last 20 years, I have been on my own with no family to turn to. I have a brother and a nephew, however, due to circumstances that no longer matter, I was sent into exile and have not seen them since. I had begun lately to really miss not having any family and although I always felt I could handle everything on my own, I really missed not having someone to talk to, share with, you know... someone you could call your own for awhile. When I met Johnny two days ago, it had been a difficult day and I needed to talk to my mother in the worst way. Ever since I was a little girl, I thought my mother was somehow connected to the sun setting. So every evening just as the sun goes down I find a place to go where I can watch the sun set and ask myself the questions I know she would ask of me. If I could answer those questions positively then I knew it had been a good day. If I couldn't answer them positively, I would sit there and tell her about my day and try to figure out what I did wrong or how I could have changed it to bring about a positive answer that evening."

"When I checked in here I found that my room pointed to the east and I couldn't see the sun set. So I started to go back downstairs and outside to try and find a place to go. Johnny met me at the door and explained that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go out since Carly was on the warpath. There have been times that I have missed that time with my mother, and it has always led to nightmares and whole nights without sleep. So Johnny took me to the roof and when he opened the door and guided me through it, the fragrance that met me was so overwhelming that I zoned out. Gardenias were my mother's favorite flower and I was suddenly surrounded by them. My mind simply retreated back to the time I was happiest."

"Poor Johnny thought I was dying. He caught me just before I hit the ground. But, what he didn't know was that he had just given me the most precious gift of my life. What he and I shared that night created a bond between us that will never be broken. So tonight, I wanted to give back to Johnny a little of what he gave me. I asked him to be my brother. He agreed."

Smile smiled widely. "Sweetheart, it was so much more than that. There will come a time when Johnny will be able to tell you about his little sister. She died very young and Johnny has held himself responsible ever since for her death. Her name was Alexandria, but he called her Lexie. She meant everything to him. When Lexie died, Johnny died. He didn't care whether he lived or not. Nothing mattered to him anymore. The man I saw on that couch tonight is not the man I left at your door two days ago. You made a difference in his life. Alexis, you saved his life."

Tears were running down Alexis' face. She desperately wished she had known sooner. But, she would respect Johnny's privacy and wait for him to tell her the story. But, her heart now ached for her brother.

She heard Sonny suddenly gasp and quickly looked his way.

"What is it Sonny?"

"Our first meeting in your office. We didn't leave the office until 9:00 that evening."

She knew what he was trying to say and yes, she had missed her time with her mother that night, and yes she also had to endure those terrible nightmares. But, Sonny had been more important at the time.

She looked at him with all the love she held in her heart for him and placed her hands on each side of his face. "Sonny, I'm fine. Yes, It was a difficult night. But, look at what we have gained since then. Would you change anything now?"

As Sonny searched her face, all he saw was her love for him. "No, Alexis, I wouldn't."

Sonny wasn't ready to leave Alexis yet, but he knew they both had a full day ahead of them and he knew that it was going to be a lot harder on Alexis than it would be for the rest of them. But, he knew Johnny would take care of her and he knew that he needed to let him. Tomorrow was definitely going to be difficult for Alexis. Sonny knew what Carly was capable of, but he was hoping that by handling the situation as she had proposed, Alexis would diffuse Carly quickly and permanently.

"Honey, I do love you, but, I'm fixing to put you to bed..."

At her quick surprised glance his way, he knew she was misunderstanding him. "Alone, Alexis."

"Sonny...? Are you leaving?"

"Yes, honey, I am. As much as I want to stay and wrap you in my arms for the rest of the night. It wouldn't be enough. And it is quickly getting closer to morning. You need to get some rest and do what you need to do to prepare for tomorrow. And I need to get back to Michael. I don't want him to wake up alone in the morning."

Alexis knew he was right, but she didn't want him to leave. She never wanted him to leave her again. She wanted his face to be the first one she saw each morning and the last one she saw each night before she closed her eyes to sleep.

"Okay, Sonny, but can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure, anything." He could tell from the way her eyelids half closed that what she wanted had caused her to become self-conscious. And as she did to him moments before he placed her face gently and lovingly between his hands and lifted her head slightly. He waited until her eyes finally came up to meet his.

"Alexis... anything!"

"Can you somehow work it out, so you don't have to leave tomorrow night?" Alexis held her breath waiting for Sonny's answer.

"Breathe, Alexis. I'll work it out." Sonny wondered at that moment if a person's heart could simply be so full that it could explode. If it could, then he was definitely in trouble again.

He slowly stood bringing her with him and pulled her close. He knew that from this moment on, as much as he loved his son, the question would now become, was it possible to love this woman more than he loved Michael. Because, he knew without hesitation that in that moment, he didn't have an answer. He slightly bent his head toward her and captured her mouth with his. Passion would come later. He simply wanted her to know that she had totally turned his life upside down and he was a better man for it.

Alexis wrapped her arms around Sonny as he brought her closer to him and when he bent to kiss her, she knew it wasn't about the passion they both knew lay just under the surface. Sonny, was trying to tell her something. And she needed to know what that was. She gently broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. She would find what she needed to know there. What she found left her so humbled and in awe of this man that she had to break contact with him in order to regain her composure. If she didn't take her hands off him now he wouldn't be leaving tonight and she knew he needed to.

"Sonny?"

He knew he reached her without words and he marveled again at her ability to read him. But, he also had a little bit of that ability himself. He knew why she suddenly let go of him.

"Walk me to the door, Alexis. I'll call you in the morning. Remember, Michael still wants to see you tomorrow. I'll bring him by for lunch?"

"That would be great. I'll call you just as soon as I get free from the clerks office."

They reached the door and could both feel their bodies tensing at the inevitable parting. But, it was only a few hours before they would be together again.

Sonny opened the door and quickly kissing her cheek he turned to go, "Goodnight, Alexis."

"Goodnight, Sonny."