Title: Tomorrow Never Comes

Disclaimer: Angst. Slash. Violence.

POV: Delko

Chapter Ten: Flashing Back

I'm lying in my hospital bed in my hospital room. Alone. Visiting hours ended hours ago. The silence is annoying. But oddly comforting. The buzz of the machines reminds me that I'm not okay. It's been so long since I was okay. Things have fallen so far.

And Horatio. What the hell happened to him? Why is he acting the way that he is? It's one thing to spy on me. Another thing entirely to think Speed would hurt me. I though Horatio was a friend. That's why he was the first to know about Speed and I. Now he thinks Speed abuses me and that I cover it up.

How can I tell him what is really going on? The bruises, they're not from Speed. He would never hit me. He never has. I know that he needs help. Who wouldn't if they were in his shoes? I guess I can see why Horatio thinks he's abusing me. But does he really think Speed is capable of that? And what will Speed think when he finds out?

I overheard Calleigh whispering to Alexx. They thought that I was asleep. It was sometime after Horatio left. Calleigh told Alexx that Horatio went to cuff Speed to his bed. I sure hope he didn't. I can only imagine how Speed will feel when he wakes up and finds he's been betrayed by his closest friend.

I also overheard Calleigh tell Alexx that Horatio had hired a new CSI. Some guy named Ryan. I guess with Speed and I in the hospital things are a bit tight. Or maybe Horatio doesn't plan to have us both return to the lab. Maybe Speed isn't going to have a job. Maybe I won't.

The buzzing machines are quickly getting on my nerves. I want to see Speed. I know his room number. He's just down the hall. I need to see him.

I sit up in the bed and immediately regret it. The rooms spins like a merry-go-round. My chest aches. At least my arm is numb. No pain there. My bare feet touch the cold tile floor. Why are hospitals always so damn cold? Shouldn't they be warm to help you sleep better? To help you heal quicker?

It doesn't hurt so much when I walk. And the room spins slower with each step. I make it to the door. I hear nothing on the other side. So I open it a bit and peek. Nothing. No nurses or doctors. The lights are low and the halls are quiet. Good. I slip from the room. It's not hard to figure out where I need to go. I just check my room number and the closest room.

Sadly, the hospital sucks. Especially for an ICU. I'm able to walk all the way to Speed's room without having to be captious. If there are nurses, somewhere, they're probably watching a little black and white TV. Whatever. As long as their too busy to notice me.

Just as easily as I slipped out of my room, I slip into Speed's. It looks almost identical to the room I'm staying in. Only with a bit more machinery. I hate hospitals. So cold. So sterile. How do they expect anyone to live here? I feel like I should be locked up in an asylum, not in a hospital trying to heal.

"Oh, Timmy," I whisper. Horatio really did handcuff him to his bed. I can't believe it. I yank on the cuffs even though I know it won't accomplish anything. This is wrong. My heart breaks as I gaze upon my lover.

His head is wrapped in a white bandage. The color of his skin was so pale, so ghost-like. At least he is breathing on his own. I'm happy to see that. I can't see any other wounds. They're probably covered by the blanket. I don't want to look. I'm too scared.

"Timmy, Timmy, what happened? Why can't I remember?" I plead. "Horatio thinks you did this. He thinks you tried to kill us. I want to believe it's wrong. But I can't remember. Please, help me remember."

He doesn't stir.

What were you expecting, Eric? He hit his head and he's in the ICU. It's not like he's going to get out of the bed and dance a jig for you.

A tear runs down my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to go this way. One little car ride and now I stand to lose everything. I have already last so much. I want to remember what happened. I need to remember."

I take his hand in mine. At first, it's painful. All I can think about are the corpses I see every day. So I'm taken by completely surprise when Speed grips back. The strength of his grip can only be mirrored by that of a guy dangling over a cliff and holding the hand of the person he hopes will pull him back to safety.

"Speed?" His grip loosens as a headache begins to grow. It progresses rapidly. And then it hits me full force. I remember.

We're sitting in the car. Speed is driving. Just like Horatio said. The song on the radio is some 80's tune. It's a clear night. Not a cloud in the sky. We're the only car on the two-lane road.

"You'll never believe what I learned today," I say.

"Hm?"

"Horatio has everyone in the lab watching us."

Speed quickly glances over at me. "You're kidding. He'd never do that. It's a betrayal of friendship and trust."

I shake my head. "I'm not lying. I even confronted him about it. He said he's worried about us."

"Why the hell is he worried?" Speed slowed the car as a bunny hopped across the road.

"I'm sure you know why he's worried about you. You've been so distant. You know, ever since…I don't blame you, though. Pretty much everyone would act that way."

He grimaces. Probably remembering the hell he was put through. "Okay, so why is he worried about you?"

I place a hand on his thigh. "Oh, I had a nasty bruise the other day. Nothing major. But it got him to thinking. Now he believes that you are hitting me and that I'm too afraid to say anything."

His knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harder. "I'd never hit you," he stats.

"That's what I told him. But you know Horatio." Outside, a pair of distant headlights signaled the approach of another car.

Speed shakes his head. "I can't believe he would do that. Do you know what the others believe?"

I shrug. "Well, not all of them. I found out because Hagen told me. He said it just didn't seem right."

He reaches over to change the radio station as a rap song comes on. I notice that the on-coming lights are driving in our lane. I go to shout at Speed. He looks up and notices them. I panic and grab the wheel.

I turn it.

I let go of Speed's hand as I fall to my knees. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I did this. Not him. If only I had realized that Speed turned the wheel the other way. That he was going to go around the guy. Instead I was foolish. I turned it the other way. I'm the one that droves us off the road. I'm the one that put Speed in this hospital bed.

It's my fault.