FAMILY MATTERS

Eyghon

WARNING: Disturbing content. This chapter speaks of abortion in a very graphic way, with descriptions of procedures that may disturb some readers.

"She doesn't want a child from her rapist," spat Weiss, "I don't see why we even bother to discuss it. The solution is pretty obvious to me."

"In the medical community, the general consensus is to…do what's best for the mother."

"She needs to be treated now."

"I'll call for someone."

Chapter 15: Guiltless

"As Nadia is in her seventh week, I can practice an abortion by aspiration. It's generally completed by curettage, both procedures under anesthesia…" started Dr Geneva, the gynecologist Irina contacted. The petite, grey-haired woman was a local and long time friend of Irina's. She arrived less than thirty minutes after Irina's call, no doubt due to the promise of a handsome payment for her services. Sydney was surprised her mother had lived in this very house on and off for the past ten years. All this time, they were only 6 hours away from each other.

"It's too invasive," interrupted Sydney, shaking her head. It didn't help rid her of the nausea she felt at the visuals invading her brain.

"And an anesthesia is not an option in Nadia's case," added Doctor Varnina. "It would be best if her body was drug free when I inject her with the vaccine," she explained to Sydney and Irina.

Doctor Geneva sighed. "Then I don't know what to tell you, Ms Derevko."

"What about chemical abortion? The RU486?" Asked Sydney.

The gynecologist shook her head. "It's too late. The limit period in the United States is five weeks."

"So what? In England, the RU486 can be prescribed until the seventh week after fecundation. Nadia is into her seventh week and it's not like we're worried about legal issues," Sydney argued.

"You may be right concerning British regulations, but you must understand, the later the RU486 is administered, the less chance of success there is. There are also concerns about the patient's health. Again, the later the RU486 is administered, the more blood the patient will lose, the more pain she will endure. I do not recommend this procedure."

Sydney sighed, rubbing her face, feeling defeated. Irina seemed pensive but didn't offer any comments or words of comfort, for that matter.

"But it's doable? Mom? What do you think?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know."

"You're her mother, you should decide."

"You know her best sweetheart."

"From a medical point of view," started Doctor Varnina, "I read that most women pick the abortive pill over the aspiration. Both procedures have as much chances of success in this timeframe." She shrugged, showing she was only trying to offer knowledge and information, not to decide for them.

"I think the pill is the best choice," declared Sydney.

"Then I agree." Irina nodded.

"Alright, I have everything you will need. The presence of a doctor is not required but you must follow the instructions carefully. Who will be assisting Nadia in her abortion?" She asked, looking from Sydney to Irina.

"I guess that would be me," said Sydney.

Doctor Geneva started scribbling on a sheet of paper while talking. "What you refer to as 'RU486' is actually a pill, but it's not enough to achieve a complete abortion. It's only part of a protocol, called the 'RU486/PG' procedure. It was named as such because it necessitates the taking of two products. The 'RU486' pill and a prostaglandin, also known as 'PG'. The most prescribed pill is the 'Cytotec', and I think it's the best choice for Nadia."

"How does it work?"

"The RU486 alone guarantees a successful abortion in only 64 to 85 of cases. You will start by giving Nadia three of those blue pills. They are the RU486. Forty-eight hours after that, you will give her two pills of Cytotec. Those two white pills will induce powerful contractions. The embryo will be expulsed within 3 to 6 hours following the taking of those two white pills."

"Okay," whispered Sydney, nodding her head.

"This will be very painful, I can't stress that enough, considering your sister is over the legal period by the standards of the United States."

"I know what I'm getting Nadia and myself into, Doctor, and I take full responsibility. It's the best way for Nadia, I'm sure of that. That's what she would have wanted." Sydney spoke with an air of confidence she didn't have earlier while struggling to reach a decision.

Doctor Geneva nodded silently. "If after 6 hours nothing has happened, give her another pill of Cytotec. The abortion will take place within the following 24 hours."

"What happens when it's over?"

"Bleeding for the next ten days, which is completely normal and should not worry you. Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and painful cramping are also often part of the package. Nadia must see me again, or another gynecologist, 14 days after the procedure. Do you have any questions?"

"Here you go." Sydney put the second pill of Cytotec in Nadia's mouth and watched as her sister swallowed it with a glass of water. The white pill looked as innocent as an aspirin but would soon unleash unbearable pain in Nadia. It was Sydney's decision and she would stand by it and be there to support her sister.

Doctor Geneva left the house two days before, leaving Sydney to feed her sister the RU486 pills. The faster Nadia was rid of the baby she was carrying, the sooner she would have access to the vaccine that would destroy the waste particles in her brain.

The cramps would probably hit during the night, as it was already 22h00. "At the first sign of discomfort on her part, get her to the bathroom," instructed Doctor Geneva.

Sydney lay down in her bed beside Nadia but didn't fall asleep. She sprang up as soon as she felt Nadia twist in the sheets, whimpering plaintively. Her face was already sweaty, mouth set in a grimace of pain.

"Come here." She led her to the bathroom and Nadia sank to the floor, wailing. Sydney went down with her, setting her between her legs, as she held her tightly from behind. Nadia screamed in pain for what seemed like hours while Sydney whispered soothing words to her ears. At some point, she vaguely heard two set of footsteps enter the room she shared with her sister, but didn't turn around.

Sydney didn't want her mother and aunt to see the tears in her eyes. Tears of shame because she didn't protect Nadia and then made the choice to put her through this barbaric procedure. She made the choice to take Nadia's child away from her. What would she tell her if she remembered and asked questions? Moreover, if she didn't remember, should she tell her? How do you tell someone they were raped while unconscious, impregnated, and then aborted by her sister on a bathroom floor?

She softly rocked Nadia and watched as a puddle of thick blood and other unidentifiable materials formed on the floor between her open legs. A puddle that soon grew to a pool. She closed her eyes tightly. How scared Nadia must be feeling.

Finally, it was over. Nadia calmed down during the last few minutes. She was shivering but quiet, probably exhausted. There was blood on her tights and on the hems of her nightgown.

Irina watched, helpless, as her youngest daughter aborted her first child. A child she did not want nor knew she was carrying. A child she should not have been pregnant with in the first place. Irina's first grandchild.

Katya came up behind her sister, who hadn't even noticed her leave, and squeezed her shoulder. She offered a soft smile of sympathy. "I prepared a hot bath for her in my room. It will help with the muscle pains. You two go." More quietly, she added, "I'll clean up here."

Sydney wordlessly carried Nadia to Katya's bathroom and stripped her of her bloodied nightgown with Irina's help. The shower got rid of most of the blood and filth before they put her in the tub.

"Go in my room, I'll take care of Nadia," said Irina, touching Sydney's cheek.

Sydney shuffled away to her mother's room where she stripped off her tank top and pajama bottoms. She threw both in the trashcan. They were too bloody to be recoverable. She didn't want to wear them again anyway. She stepped under the water and uncontrollable sobs over took her. Huddling on the floor, she didn't even notice how hot the water was.

Sydney and Nadia's bathroom was spotless. Katya went to her room to find Irina drying Nadia off. She looked around for her other niece.

"Where's Sydney?"

"Taking a shower in my room." She glanced at her watch. "She's been gone for while," she added, frowning.

"I'll go check on her."

Katya knocked on door of her sister's bathroom. There was no answer but she could hear the water running.

"Sydney, are you okay?" Receiving no answer, she was about to open the door when the doorknob was yanked out of her hand. Sydney stood in the doorway, soaking wet, with a towel wrapped around her. She had a strange expression on her face that chilled Katya.

"I'm fine, Aunt Katya," she said in a clipped tone. "Did you want something?"

"Huh…no, no, just wanted to check on you…"

"Goodnight then."

"Yes, goodnight." She left, puzzling over what just happened.

Sydney found Irina kneeling in front of Nadia putting a sanitary napkin in her pants as per doctor's orders.

"Okay, let's get you back to your room now," she said, getting up.

"Mom…I don't want to be alone tonight," said Sydney, standing by the bathroom door. She didn't dare ask what she really wanted; it was so stupid. She was a grown woman…but she really didn't want to go to bed alone tonight. Nadia would be there, of course, she would have her big sister, but Sydney wouldn't 'have' Nadia, and she needed someone. Someone to comfort her, to tell her everything would be okay. Only her mother could fill this role.

Irina smiled at her kindly, understanding the hidden meaning behind her words. "Then come with me."

They made their way to Irina's bed, where Sydney was assaulted by the overwhelming scent of her mother, in the sheets, the pillows... When she was little, she used to sleep with her mother when her father was away on business. Sometimes, when she was sick, she would be allowed to sleep between both her parents for the whole night. It seemed so far away now, thinking about it.

Irina slid in between her two daughters, hesitantly watching for Nadia's reaction. "Are you sure it's okay for me to…"

"Yeah, she knows you now," Sydney smiled softly at her mother in reassurance. "And I think she kind of likes you."

Irina gave her a startled look but Sydney had already closed her eyes. She couldn't tell if her daughter was joking or not.

Nadia shifted position in order to be more comfortable and leaned on Irina as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Irina's lips displayed a contented smile in the semi darkness of the room. They had left the dresser light on for Nadia's sake. Despite the circumstances, Irina was happy, snuggled between her two daughters for the first time in her life. She breathed in their scents, trying to commit them to memory.

Who knew what the future would bring.

The next day, breakfast was quiet, the atmosphere gloomy. Nadia barely ate and went back to bed as soon as she was done with her food. She was sick, as expected.

They all felt awful for what happened the night before, but none of them wanted to talk. Apparently, it must be a Derevko trait. Sydney didn't know what to do, whom to talk to. Then it dawned on her, she knew whom to call.

"Hello?"

"Hey…"

"…hey…I'm glad you called."

"I'm not…I don't…I'm not ready to…I just needed to talk to someone about…and…you...I…"

"You thought of me."

"Yeah. You were always a good listener."

"I'm always here for you if you need to talk, no matter what is happening between us, but…you know you can't avoid me forever."

"I know Vau…I know. I just need to deal with this, and then…I'll come back, and we'll talk, and maybe…maybe we'll start again."

"I'd like that." She could hear the smile in his voice. "So…what is it that…you want to talk about?"

"It's Nadia…I…did something, I know it was the right thing to do, but it was horrible…I…"

"It's okay, I'm here now Syd."

TBC