Saturday-Mid-Morning

Daniel answered the phone. "Hello"

"Hi, Daniel it's me. Have you found anything?"

"Janet we've checked his answering machine messages, I've gone through his mail, we've even talked to the neighbors. I think it's time to tell Hammond."

"Daniel..." Janet said hesitantly.

"I know, I didn't want to do it either. I mean, I don't want to embarrass everybody when it's probably just what you said, a few too many beers... But it's not like Jack to just dissapear."

"Daniel"

"What?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay..."

"Not over the phone.I need you to come in, or I can meet you somewhere, but I've got to talk to you."

"Are you all right?" Daniel was clearly concerned.

"I don't know" Janet sighed tiredly. "Just come down okay?"

"I'll be right there."

"Are you okay?" Janet asked Daniel as he digested what she had just told him.

"I don't know" Daniel shook his head. "I just, I don't know whether to be worried or furious with them"

"I know" Janet commiserated, rubbing her neck with one hand. "It reminds me of when I was married. You know, the worst part of waiting up till three in the morning for your husband to come home is being afraid to be angry with him because you know if he turned up dead you'd feel guilty for being mad." Janet saw Daniel looking at her strangely and realized that in seven years she'd never mentioned her ex-husband to him. "I'm sorry" she apologized. "I shouldn't bore you with ancient history."

"That's what I'm here for" Daniel said sincerely, then grimaced as he realized the bad pun.

Janet smiled. "You're a good kid Daniel" she knew it sounded condescending, but at the moment it just seemed like the appropriate thing to say.

"Guess the haircut didn't do much good" Daniel muttered to himself.

"What?" Janet asked, looking amused.

"Nothing" Daniel told her. "I was just wondering when I became everyone's kid brother around here." Daniel leaned back in his chair and yawned.

"It's because you're such a good listener." Janet said comfortingly.

Yeah,Daniel thought,such a good listener his two friends had screwed each other and split without telling him. Making him down large, strong amounts of disgusting conveiniance store coffee looking for them while they were probably just in a motel somewhere. An idea which made his rightfully angry, and yet, irrationally...

"You know Janet," Daniel stood up and paced the room."to be perfectly honest I think I can almost understand why Jack and Sam could end up doing something like this. I mean," Daniel stopped pacing and looked at her."don't you ever get the urge to just...I don't know, fuck someone"

Janet's eyes widened, she almost never heard Daniel swear. And definately not the 'F' word, she had the strangest urge to scold him like Cassie. "You know Daniel, swearing is not the way to prove your grown up"

Daniel raised his eyebrows before he realized she was joking and he almost smiled. Almost. "I was trying not to be sentimental about it."

"You're not very good at it" Janet told him honestly.

"I know" Daniel looked at her. "But this," He looked at the pictures. "It doesn't seem very..." Daniel didn't know how to put it, and he was starting to doubt he wanted to finish that thought in the first place.

"Daniel you can't just look at all this blood and say it was savage. I know that's probably the first impression most people would have. I suppose I'm used to blood, maybe too used to it. But my point is you look at this and you see something violent, I look, and all I see is the normal result of a physical action, I think, I think maybe we're both forgetting something."

"What's that?" Daniel asked her.

"The fact the blood is one of the most deeply personal things two people can share. All medical rationalities aside, what do people say, 'blood is thicker than water' 'you're in my blood'..."

"Janet" Daniel swallowed hard.

"Yes?" Janet's forehead creased at the disturbed look on his face.

"Can we change the subject?"

"I think that's a good idea" Janet managed as her breath caught when she realized why this conversation was bothering him. They were talking about two friends bloodying the sheets and it was turning him on. Okay, so it was pretty safe to say that wasn't the part that was turning him on, but something was. And it was making an already difficult situation almost impossible to deal with.

Which was probably the reason Daniel kissed her.

"Daniel" Janet pulled back.

"What?" Daniel's eyes begged her for a reason, just one good reason why this couldn't happen.

"Daniel I'm too old for you" Janet argued.

"You know Janet" Daniel took in her girlish embarassment."Sometimes I think I'm older than you are."

"Daniel I'm your doctor. You of all people should appreciate the moral situation that puts me in"

Daniel rubbed his hands over his face. "Janet I'm just, not as good at that as I used to be. I go out there" He gestured in the general direction of the Gateroom. "and I see these things, terrible, violent, bloody things and I realize that they don't even shock me anymore. Appall, infuriate, but not surprise. I've changed so much from who I used to be. I've grown up in so many ways. And I'm finding it harder to live only for my work. And now I look at things here and say 'is that so bad?' People are out there livingwith forced slavery and torture and the world grinds to a halt because two people spilled a little in the bedroom? Because the more I learn about the importance of freedom, the importance of balancing power, the main thing is not doing anything that will hurt other people. And who is this hurting? Who would we be hurting?"

"Daniel I'm just not ready for that."

Daniel looked down. "I'm sorry," he exhaled slowly."I didn't mean..."

"Daniel, it would be more than 'fucking'." She said the word quietly, softly, in an innocent way that kept it from sounding dirty. "You know that."

"Yeah" Daniel returned his eyes to her face. "I know that"

"Then you have to let me think"

"All right" Daniel nodded.

"I'll let you know" But as Janet promised him, she had the distinct feeling that by agreeing to 'think about it' she had crossed a line she had never intended to cross. And actually doing it was only one step away.