Chapter Seven

I arrived in my room, silently enough as not to wake anyone. It was still early enough in the morning that no one else had awakened. Satisfied with this, I considered my next move.

In a flourish, I grabbed my shower supplies, my bathrobe, a towel, and a change of clothes.

I then stripped naked, put the robe on, and went to take a shower.

I had on straight hot water, which emitted quantities of steam. It was painful to bear, but I bore it. It felt good, in a way.

I scrubbed vigorously at my skin with my wash cloth as I cleaned myself. It reminded me of what some rape victims do; they feel dirty, and so wash themselves. I wondered why I felt the need to do so. Did I subconsciously think that I have been raped by Jinx?

I gave little thought to my own question as I rinsed off the soap. I then washed my hair with equal vigor, feeling refreshed when I was done.

After I dried off and put on my robe, I proceed to brush my teeth. As I did so, I suddenly felt like Howard Hughes! I laughed at that, knowing that my aim was to cleanse myself of the memory of when Jinx kissed me.

I also realized that I was, in fact, behaving as if I was raped. 'Weird.' I thought.

Upon returning to my room, I locked the door, put my things away, and flung off the robe.

I then stood in front of my dresser mirror, scrutinizing my naked body. What I was looking for, I could not tell. Perhaps I was checking for marks? Or was I just admiring myself for the obvious physical effect I had on Jinx? Perhaps it was both.

'Can't say I blame her.' I thought.

Then, a realization crossed my mind that made me shudder!

I recalled how Jinx commented on how good a kisser I was. I let my mind drift back to that moment. Did I enjoy it in some way?

And then there were the later kisses, as well as other displays of affection. Did I enjoy them as well? The kissing of my limbs? Jinx sleeping with me? Our last kiss?

"Oh no!" I said aloud. I felt shocked that I could ever think of enjoying such things!

"I did resist her request to get undressed in front of her." I said aloud. "And I didn't enjoy it when she was naked in front of me."

I now found myself confused; confused, of all things, about my sexuality!

'Damn you, Jinx!'

I wanted to hit her for the thoughts she introduced me to! I always felt confident about my tastes in relationships. Now, thanks to the hex girl, I began to question myself. I began to cry.

I stood up and stared into the mirror. Seeing I was still naked, I immediately got dressed and left for the lounge.

The other Titans were still asleep, for the lounge was deserted. I sighed and plopped down on the sofa. Not long afterward, I heard the door open. I got up and saw it was Robin.

"Hey, good morning sleepy head!" he said to me as he put water on to boil. "You have a good walk?"

"Yeah, I did." I said. "It was...rather intriguing."

"We sort of got worried that you might need help, but I thought you needed your privacy, and would call us in case of real trouble."

"Glad you saw it that way." I got up and joined him in the kitchen, taking out a cup and a bag for herbal tea.

"Is something wrong, Raven?" he asked.

"No." I lied. I then approached him.

"Um, Raven?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

I heaved a sigh. "I just need to test something."

"What?"

I grabbed him, and gave him a deep, passionate kiss, even managing to slip my tongue in his mouth!

I let him go and stepped back. Understandably, his face was one of shock and surprise.

"What brought this one?" he asked, hysterically.

"Like I said, I just wanted to test something."

"And did you get what you needed?"

I smiled as I considered that thought. "Yes!" I laughed. "Yes, I did!"

It was true; the doubt left my mind as I realized the source of my supposed enjoyment while I was with Jinx: subconsciously, I was imagining I was with a man.

'I'm one strange girl.' I thought to myself.

"Hey, Raven?" Robin said.

"Yeah?"

"Starfire doesn't hear about this, okay?"

I nodded. "This will stay between us."

"Fine. You know, one day, you'll have to tell me what this was about."

"Don't worry Robin, I will." I said as I poured the now boiling water into my tea cup.

I could only imagine what his response would be, or if he'd even believe me. I hardly believed it myself. Would you believe it if it happened to you? Saving an outcast through an act of compassion?

Another thought crossed my mind as I drank my tea; what crop would sprout from the seed of friendship I planted in our former enemy? Only time would tell. Somehow, I felt we wouldn't have long to wait.

The End