Oh well…
I can't help but read this and think of that reality show "For Love Or Money?" You'll probably think of it too once you read it.
Yeah incase you didn't notice, I did change the title. Kokoro No Zaigou is Japanese for something that you are going to have to look up yourself because hey guess what I'm not telling you.
Well, enjoy this chapter. It is one of the last ones Bo will be in.
Chapter 11: Bride To Be
"Huh…?" Hanako stammered. Bo was her friend! Why was he asking this?
Sesshomaru's heart was bursting. Hanako was going to get married? Would she say yes? The envy that he had felt crept up once more, filling more of his mind than ever. He was furious that someone had taken interest in her. He did not want anyone else to ever lay a hand on her.
"I love you, Hanako," Bo said again, "And I am asking you to be with me forever. Do you accept?"
Marry Bo?She did not want to marry Bo, but she did not want to break his heart. She never once thought that he loved her, but as she thought about it, the signs had all been there. He had sent so many hints and she just had never noticed. All the times he had held her, and not let her go for so long. She had always thought he had just been the kind of person who liked to touch. And the time he had carried her instead of putting her on Aun when she was hurt. Everything made sense now. She couldn't think of what to say to him.
But then she remembered that the choice was not hers to make.
"I am sorry…" Hanako said to him with deep sympathy, knowing that he was about to be let down, "But my fate is not up to me. It is up to…" she turned to Sesshomaru with hope in her heart. He would never let her get married.
Sesshomaru looked at both of them. It was true, the choice was his to make, or break really. Hanako was not going to marry Bo. There was no way he would let that happen.
"My answer is no. Let's go Hanako."
Bo came up to him, desperation all over his face, his eyes pleading to him. "You…" he said, "I will give you anything you desire for her! Anything! Anything you could ever possibly want!" He looked around desperately, as if looking for something to spark an idea in his head of what he could give him. He had a stroke of genius.
"My savings from all of my victories…" he thought out loud, "I will give them to you. You need money, do you not?" Bo came close to him. "You have been complaining about your debts for the war. I have enough money to pay them off!"
Sesshomaru began to consider the matter differently. Money was like a whole new thing.
"I will make you a deal," Bo said, his hope increasing more and more, "My savings…" he put his arm around Hanako, pulling her close to him, "For your Hanako."
Hanako could not help but feel like an old scarf being bartered between two old women.
Sesshomaru began to feel pressured by the situation. Did he want money, to pay off the war that has long irked him, or Hanako, his loyal slave girl? The war had been like a plague, causing him so much pain and stress. He never wanted to have to speak of it again. And Hanako was like…
He could not make the decision. He looked to Hanako again. They exchanged glances for long moments, and Sesshomaru noticed her expression. She looked distressed, as if begging him to do something. He did not understand what she was trying to tell him. An idea flowed into his mind…
Hanako, he thought, could it be that you do not feel the same way about Bo?
Now there was more contrast. If he chose Hanako, she would come back to him, and most likely everyone would question his demonic nature, or think of it as some act of kindness. But his strangely felt anger would wane, and all would go back to normal. If he chose the money, Hanako would be miserable (not that it really even mattered to him), and he could pay off the debts of the war and all would really go back to normal before he had met Hanako. He just could not decide.
"I will leave this matter to you, Hanako. Think of it as… an early wedding present."
The pressure shifted its way over onto Hanako. She did not think of it as a wedding present.
She did not want to marry Bo, and that was that. But now, if she did say yes, Sesshomaru would get money from the bargain. Her happiness did not matter much anyway… did it?
Getting married, having children, those were things she just wasn't ready for yet. Not after what had happened to her. Bo did not even know that she wasn't a virgin. How would he react if she told him that? And she wanted to be in love when she got married, if she ever got married, and she did not love Bo. Friendship was not love in most cases.
And besides, even though they were small, and their existence really meant nothing, and they were sins that should be ignored, she did have feelings for Sesshomaru…
Those feelings were perhaps the biggest reason why she wanted to say no. She would miserable if she had to be with someone else and see him leave her here. She could never be with him, but she could stay by him. She could never hold him, but she could hug him. She could only like him from a distance. They were too different. They were of opposite classes. She could only make him happy from a distance.
And the money to pay off the war… would make him happy… she thought.
She would go the distance. She would do anything for him. She would stay by him, from a distance. Even if the distance was that far…
Anything to see you smile… just once before I leave…Hanako looked back into Bo's eyes, about to make the biggest decision of her life…
Sesshomaru waited to hear her response the question, knowing that most likely she would say no and the problem of the war would still be on his hands. He began to accept that fact. He was okay with it.
"I say… Yes" she said.
Sesshomaru's head snapped around. His eyes widened with unpleasant surprise. What! He thought, his mind in turmoil.
Bo's entire face lit up. "My Hanako," he said, holding her close to him, hugging her tightly, "My Hanako… at last…"
The entire clan who had been watching the whole scene clapped and cheered. Two girls ran up to Bo and pat him on the back.
"Congratulations, Bo-san! You have a bride-to-be!"
"Can I be a bridesmaid, Hanako-san?" the other one asked her.
"Um… sure…" Hanako said over all the noise.
"This calls for a celebration!" Awane yelled, "We will have a party!"
They all cheered louder. Hanako tried her hardest to look happy, but when she looked at Sesshomaru, her heart broke in half.
She almost wanted to cry…
Sesshomaru stayed silent during all of the cheering. His heart was throbbing. She did love him. He felt forgotten. And she hadn't spoken to him in so long. His anger had converted itself to sheer sorrow. But he kept a straight face, despite all of his emotions. He no longer felt like questioning them.
Jaken came up behind Sesshomaru, pulling Aun with him, Rin on top of Aun, as usual. He saw everyone clapping and cheering. He had no idea why, but began cheering as well.
"Yay!" he said, and began to clap along with them. Rin joined in too, clapping as loud and as hard as she could. Jaken made his way next to Sesshomaru. "Eh, Lord Sesshomaru?" he asked, "Why are we clapping?"
Sesshomaru looked down at him with annoyance.
"Hanako and Bo are getting married." He said, his voice sounding completely upset. Even the phrase disgusted him. He turned around and began to walk away without even saying goodbye. He could not even stand to see her anymore.
"Oh how wonderful!" Jaken said, "Will I be able to attend the wedding?" he turned to see Sesshomaru walking away. "Lord Sesshomaru? Where are you going?" Jaken began to follow him.
Rin stopped clapping. She looked over to Hanako and Bo, and then to Sesshomaru. Her eyes took in the scene going on around her. She understood everything.
Oh no… she thought, Hanako-chan, you cannot marry Bo!
Awane saw Sesshomaru leaving and ran up to him, patting him on the back. Sesshomaru turned around displeased. Awane saw this and realized whom he was interacting with. "I'm sorry… I have to get used to dealing with rich people… excuse my rude behavior…" Awane said, sort of embarrassed, "But are you leaving already? You are welcome to stay for a while longer. We are going to have a party for 'em." He pointed to Bo and Hanako, still talking to the rest of the clan, all of them chatting happily together. "I'm so happy for my little brother, ya know?" Awane added, beaming proudly, "She seems like a great girl, that Hanako…" Awane turned back to Sesshomaru, who still did not look pleased. "Bo will take good care of her, I promise," he said, "But I suppose that doesn't matter to you. She's just your slave, after all, but do you want to come to the party anyway?"
Sesshomaru did not want to attend a party for Hanako and Bo's marriage. It was the last thing he wanted to do.
Jaken smiled. "Sure we want to come!" Without consulting anyone, Jaken took off with Awane, pulling Rin and Aun behind him. Sesshomaru reluctantly followed anyway, even though it was completely against his will.
Rin stepped off of Aun and ran up to Hanako, hugging her legs, almost knocking her down. "Hanako-chan! You are not leaving me are you?"
Hanako had forgotten all about Rin. She would have to leave her to, which only deepened her sadness more. "I'm afraid so, but I will visit I promise." Hanako said. Rin took her hand. "But you can't leave! Now I'll have no one to play with! Master Jaken does not like to play!" Rin's eyes filled with tears. "Please don't go Hanako-chan. Please don't leave me!" Seeing Rin cry broke Hanako's heart to pieces. She did not want to leave. She did not want to at all. But Sesshomaru needed the money, and it would make him happy. And him being happy would make her happy… maybe.
A woman took Hanako's arm. "We will get you changed into something prettier." She said. "Y-you don't need to do that…" Hanako stammered. Two other girls took her along, babbling on about a pretty kimono that they both wanted to try on her. Hanako looked around nervously as they were taking her away. She looked at Sesshomaru, who was watching the whole scene with his solemn face. She wanted to get back to him, at least to say goodbye…
Bo was surrounded by many others from the clan, all of them congratulating him on his new fiancé.
"How have you all been while I was away?" Bo asked.
"We've been fine, but we are still missing a few of our comrades…" one said.
"We have been suffering a little since we were attacked…" said another.
"But what about you?" Awane asked, a large grin across his face, "How have you been?"
"Fine," Bo replied.
"What have you been doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what we mean…"
"N-no! We haven't done anything like that!" Bo stuttered, realizing what his friends had been asking him. They all laughed at him for being so dense. Bo's face turned scarlet red.
How repulsive… Sesshomaru thought. He continued to watch the group of middle class demons talking and making fun of Bo. What fools they are… Sesshomaru knew how middle class demons were. They would mate with anything that at least appeared female. That was the only reason why Hanako had been accepted into the clan automatically: she was easy on the eyes. They did not care that they were demons, and she was human (or something) and that she was a slave and it is considered insulting and disgraceful to be married to someone of a lower class… especially one on the lowest class that there was possible. And their children would most likely turn out to be half demons, which he despised. And would Hanako even be emotional ready to bear another child? Or even make love to a man? The question still bothered him: Why had she said yes?
Hanako came forward, escorted by women, dressed in a deep blue kimono with a lighter blue sash. Her clothes were very similar to what the rest of the clan was wearing. Now she looked like one of them.
She began to walk over to Sesshomaru, but Bo pulled her aside. She too was continually congratulated by the rest of the clan. Sesshomaru stared at her, his mind completely blank. He didn't know what to think anymore. Why am I reacting so strangely to all of this?
Hanako miraculously snuck out of the crowd. Rin took Hanako's hand and led her away from everyone, pulling her with all of her strength. "I need to talk to you Hanako-chan…" Rin said to her. "Me? But why?" Hanako asked. "Just come…" Rin responded, pulling her harder. Sesshomaru watched them curiously, and followed them away from the crowd. He was interested in what Rin was going to say to her.
They ended up near a large rock, where Rin sat down. Sesshomaru watched them from a distance. "Hanako-chan… why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you marrying Bo? You told me he was your friend. Do you love him, Hanako-chan?"
Hanako gave a bright but fake smile. "Of course I love him, Rin. If I didn't, then why would I be marrying him?"
"Nice lie, Hanako-chan. I don't believe you."
Hanako lowered her eyes. "I'm not lying…"
Rin continued to look at her, hoping to pry up the truth. Hanako sighed.
"Fine, Rin-chan. I do not love him…"
Sesshomaru listened even more closely.
Rin nodded. "Yes, then why are you marrying him?"
"…"
"Hanako-chan?"
"Do you promise not to tell?
"Cross my heart and hope to die!" Rin said. She loved to hear secrets.
"I'm not doing it for me… or him… I'm doing it for… Lord Sesshomaru…"
Sesshomaru's eyes widened. What was she saying?
"How?" Rin asked intently.
"He seemed so stressed over the war… and where else was he going to get the money? I told him once before, that I would do anything to help… and this would maybe make him… happy?"
Sesshomaru couldn't believe what he was hearing. You fool! You would give up your entire life's happiness for me? He became slightly angry that she had maybe felt sorry for him… but also somewhat relieved. She did not love Bo. He did not know how her love life concerned him, but he felt as if a large weight had been lifted off of him.
Rin slapped her own face. "You are so dense Hanako-chan…"
"Dense?"
"There are plenty of places Lord Sesshomaru could get money!"
"But…"
"But what?"
"He… he doesn't really even seem to like me that much…"
Rin' s face began to look more sympathetic. "Hanako-chan…"
"I try and try… is he always so distant, Rin-chan? Does he always look away from everyone? So I just gave up. When I met Bo, I realized how much Lord Sesshomaru did not approve of me by comparing their actions…" She lowered her eyes. "What does he care if I leave?"
Rin said nothing.
Sesshomaru was speechless. That entire time Hanako had not forgotten him, but only felt that he did not approve of her.
You have it all wrong, Hanako…Bo ran up to Hanako. "There you are!" he shouted, "We are about to begin the celebrations! What are you doing all the way out here?" He kissed her forehead. Sesshomaru, who was still watching them, felt his anger burning deep inside of him once more. She smiled slightly, but it was a smile anyone could see the sadness right through…except for Bo. Rin watched them. Bo doesn't even know Hanako… It's always so obvious when she's lying… yet he can't even tell her smiles apart.
He took her arm and guided her back to the crowd. Sesshomaru followed them now. Bo turned around slightly, seeing Sesshomaru there. "Ah yes! Your money!" Bo exclaimed, taking a pouch that had been tied to his side and handing it to him. Sesshomaru examined the money. It was more than enough to pay back his debts. He thought perhaps the money would give him a better outlook on everything. He was gaining so much, and yet loosing something that was somehow worth more to him, more than anything had ever been worth to him.
Jaken approached Sesshomaru's side. "That's an awful lot of money!" he exclaimed.
He looked at the money, and then to Hanako, who was still at Bo's side, smiling at Sesshomaru. She wanted to see him satisfied, so she would feel like she was making a worthy sacrifice. He kept his same solemn face, and disappointment filled her already empty and broken heart. For a moment, she felt herself get lost in his deep amber eyes, as if she was going in the opposite direction of her fate.
Sesshomaru saw her raise her hand to wave goodbye. "Farewell… I suppose…" she said to him, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She held in cries of sadness, to not let him know how much this was killing her.
She didn't need to cry. Her pain was written all over her face, and an unpleasant look added to it when Bo placed his arm around her once more.
Sesshomaru knew he could not let this go on any longer.