Chapter 17! Yay!

Sorry this took so long! First, I was on a school trip for four days and three nights and then wouldn't let me log in! But here it is: chapter 17.

Disclaimer: I do not own Vanessa Carlton's songs.

Chapter 17: Homesick

Hanako took her kimono off of a branch where it had been drying over night. It was still damp. She sighed and hung it back up, slightly annoyed that she would have to continue wearing this ridiculous white frilly dress. She walked over to Kagome, who was setting up some sort of strange gray box on the ground before her. Hanako stared at it.

"What is that thing?" she asked, pointing to it.

Kagome laughed. "This is my radio. I brought it with me from my house because I finally got batteries."

"What are batteries?" Hanako asked, sitting down next to the "radio" and inspecting it closer.

"They are what make the radio work without having to plug it in. You don't have plugs here."

Hanako raised an eyebrow. "What difference does it make if you plug it in? And what are plugs anyway?"

"You could have it work that way too."

"How?"

"The electricity gives it power to work."

"Huh?"

"And so do the batteries."

"I don't get it…"

Kagome heaved a sigh. "Never mind…" She didn't feel like explaining anymore.

Kagome pressed a button on the "radio" and a compartment opened on the top. Hanako became captivated with the radio and watched closer. Kagome got out a shiny, round, disk and put it into the compartment and closed it again. She began pressing more buttons.
"What are you doing, Kagome?" Hanako asked, becoming more and more intrigued each moment, "What does this thing do?"

"It plays music."

"It does? But how?"

"With the CDs."

"What are those?"

She held up one of the disks. "These are. They have music on them."

"How do you get the music on the CDs?" Hanako asked.

"I don't really know. My friend burned the music on this one for me."

Hanako imagined people throwing those shiny disks into a bonfire and then people playing music near it so it would somehow record onto the burning CD. That's ridiculous… but I guess that's how it works, she thought.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Nothing, just don't even question it…" Kagome didn't even want to try explaining technology that she herself did not completely understand to someone of Japan's feudal era. Music began to play from her radio.

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bunk alone with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's till the end…

Hanako's eyes widened. "How did you do that? Is it magic?"

Kagome shook her head, the music filling her ears, making it impossible for her to become annoyed with anyone while the singer's sweet voice kept her spirits high and her temper low.

Hanako listened to the song playing on the radio. "I like this song," she commented. The song had instruments and noises that she had never heard before. She wondered what it was that made these noises.

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
And beer through the nose on an inside joke
And I'm so excited I haven't spoken

The happy melody to the song made her happy; it helped her forget about the one thing that had been on her mind ever since he got rid of her:Sesshomaru.

It's alright
And it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold onto secrets
In white houses…

Those words spoke to her. The pain inside of her calmed down, and the banging of the piano from the radio lifted her spirits. She would make a note in her mind to learn the words to this song so she could sing it for Rin… if she ever saw Rin again. She sighed. It was no use.

She just could not get it off her mind. It was strange the way she kept on thinking that he would come back for her, someday, someway, somehow. But there was no way he would ever come back for her. Her mind traced out the image of his face that day, his cold expression that said "I don't want you anymore" all over it. That was basically what he meant when he left her. What had she done wrong? What had she done that had been so wrong for him to leave her alone again in the pouring rain? She looked back through her memory. Nothing. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Had he been the one who had done something wrong? No. Sesshomaru would never give her up for no reason at all, would he? She could not see him doing something so cruel. She sighed. She had been sighing so much for the past day. You sigh a lot when you're depressed. She didn't mind it. She had every right to be. She held in tears again, choked back cries, and inhaled and exhaled away the growing lump in her throat.

Inuyasha was asleep on the branch of a tree, Shippo directly below him in the shade. Sango and Miroku were chatting with each other near the house they had stayed in. Hanako watched them closely. It was a record, she decided, that Miroku had gone this long having a conversation with Sango without touching her rear. But, it soon ended with his wandering hand and a slap across the face from Sango. She giggled as she watched Miroku apologizing to Sango. She hit him again and he fell over. Hanako smiled bigger. Her life was so boring. She sighed.

She looked over to Kagome to talk to. She had fallen asleep along with Inuyasha. She surmised that no one had slept well last night. She hadn't either.

It was funny though; the more she got to know Sesshomaru's little brother and his friends she noticed it. They were the exact opposite of Sesshomaru and his companions; so much less mature, and so different to live with. She never had to do any work at all, and she felt guilty. Inuyasha had not rejected to having her serve him, but Kagome had "sat" him whenever he requested her of something. He should have been the richer one of the two brothers, instead of Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru had never asked her to do anything and could very well live without a servant. He was living without one now. She didn't really call Jaken his servant.

She looked over to Miroku and Sango once more. They were both asleep as well.

Alone. Alone again. Even with this group of people, she was still alone. They had all known each other for the longest time and she was the outsider. Talking to any of them would have been futile anyway. It was so obvious that all of them were paired off with each other, and she did not want to interrupt their "moments". The tears came out.

Home… she thought mournfully as she sobbed, I just want to go home! I want to go home with Lord Sesshomaru! I want him to come back and get me! I want to play stupid games of tag and I spy with Rin and have Jaken laugh at our foolishness! I want to have pointless conversations with Sesshomaru again! I don't want to be here anymore!

She wept quietly to herself, not wanting to wake anyone up. She listened to the radio again. It was a happy song still. She cursed to herself, not wanting to here about someone else's happiness; not while she was sitting here in her misery. She pressed the button on the radio that she had seen Kagome pressing to get to a different song. She pressed out her sadness on the button until it got to a track that did not sound as happy. She listened to the words…

I've been taking what you're giving,
Now I'm thinking I've been living in the fantasy of your sweet smile…
Sad as blue and blue as only you could cast the color on me
Can you see my fire red?

C'est la vie, c'est la vie here in my lonely
C'est la vie, c'est la vie here in my lonely without him…

This was much better.

Inuyasha yawned and stretched. He jumped down from the tree and looked around. "Damn," he exclaimed, "everyone's asleep…" He looked over to Hanako. "Not you though," he said, coming over to her. He snickered.

"Is that Kagome's stupid thing? I never got how she worked it. I broke her first one."

"You break and lose a lot of her things, don't you?" Hanako said, implying that he had also lost her bike.

"Yeah, shut up," he grumbled, "It isn't my fault her shit is cursed!"
Inuyasha turned away from her, but looked back at her over his shoulder. Her eyes were red. She had been crying. He turned away again, pretending not to notice. He spoke without looking at her.

"You miss him?"

She paused.
"Miss" could barely describe it. He was her every thought and breath and heartbeat.
"Maybe…"

"Get over it," Inuyasha said, "He's not all that great. And he abandoned you. Aren't you mad at him at all?"

She shook her head.

"Well you should be. Then you wouldn't miss him as much."

She sighed.

He looked over at her again. Her face was lowered in misery.

"I've been meaning to ask you…" he began, "What exactly is your relationship with Sesshomaru anyway?"

She paused again.

"Why do you ask that? I was his slave. There really wasn't any more than that…"

"Then why are you all hung up about him leaving you?"

"I'm not hung up-"

"Then why were you crying?"

She became embarrassed. "H-how did you know that?"

"You didn't think you were hiding it did you?" He handed her a towel. "Wash the tears off your face. Then maybe people won't be able to tell."

She reluctantly wiped her face, never taking her eyes off of him. He was trying to be kind to her without actually being kind to her.

"Did you love him?" he asked, sitting down on a stool.

Her head snapped around. "What?"

"Did you love him? Do I have to say it twice?" he snarled.

"L-love…?" She knew she liked him, but did she love him? That would be even worse. All of the trouble she could get in for a small crush would double. She was in far too deep already.

"By the way you talk about him I would think so," he commented, "The first time you came here and described him, you described him as the best person in the world."

"I don't love him," she said finally. She couldn't love him.

"Spill. You at least like him, right?"

She couldn't tell him. She could never tell anyone the sad truth that she had fallen for her own lord and protector. It was too pathetic to admit.
"I don't want to talk about it."

That meant yes. "Okay then," he said, "Then tell me something else. What are you?"

"…What am I?"

"Yeah. You're not human are you?"

She had always thought she was human. But then she met Sesshomaru, and she just wasn't sure anymore. All of the special things he had said she possessed were beginning to convince her otherwise.

"I am not sure…" she said, "Sesshomaru says I am something that he has not seen before. He says I am different. That was why he bought me. And he said he got rid of me because I have not done anything special yet." She had not believed him when he had said that though. The look in his eye had been saying so much more.

"If you were his slave, why didn't he just sell you and get money?"

This she did not understand either. "I do not know…"

He looked closer at her. "Maybe you are a half demon of some sort… hmmmm…" He came up closer to her face. She blinked. He shook his head. "Nah. You don't have a trace of demonic scent on you at all." He sniffed her shoulder. She twitched a little at him being so close to her. "Um… I beg your pardon…?" she said nervously.

"You kind of smell like… water. And something sweet… like incense… oh yeah and dead flowers…" he continued sniffing her peculiar scent.

"Oh, thanks…" she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

(…)

It's her! Sesshomaru thought, sniffing the air around him, inhaling the sweet smell of water and incense and flowers. This is her scent! She was here…

He ran after the trail of her scent leading further into the forest. Another scent was with it. A mortal girl.

She must have found shelter… he thought, feeling quite relieved that she had most likely survived the time he had left her. He felt a slight weight lifted from his shoulders. But still so much weight remained.
He ran as fast as fast as he could, even though he was so out of breath already that he could barely breathe and his stomach hurt. He inhaled deeply again, picking up another scent that made him stop dead in his tracks.
What is this?

It was the scent of his hated half demon, half brother Inuyasha. He became confused. He shook away the thought. The scent must have been old, or they must have crossed paths or something. He continued on his scent path to Hanako.

He ran through trees, the scent becoming stronger and stronger with each step. His mind flourished with foolish thoughts. What would he say to her? What would she say back? He could see it now: she would run to him and greet him with a happy embrace. She would most likely cry in his arms and ask him why he had left her there. He could never tell her why. He would never tell her why. He could never say that he felt himself liking her a little too much and he didn't want it that way and so he got rid of her in hopes to free himself of his own foolish "affections" or whatever they were. Maybe he could tell her that he had been drunk. Yeah. That might work.

He stopped where he was. He heard voices, one of them sounding very similar to Hanako's. The other was a man's. He quickly forgave her for talking to another man and ripped through the bushes.

He stopped. He gaped. They gaped back.

The man turned around, a scowl crossing across his face.

"Inu… Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru stuttered. What the hell is he doing here ?

Hanako sat with Inuyasha quite close to her. A little too close. Inuyasha: Sesshomaru's loathed half brother. They had become acquainted with each other somehow. Sesshomaru's temper flared. He was the last person he wanted her to talk to.

Hanako's eyes widened. There he was. Did he come back for her? "M-my Lord…?" she asked, almost wanting Inuyasha to pinch her because she must be dreaming. She did not know what to say, what to do. Whether to cry or to smile. Whether to run to him or away. She just sat there observing him. He looked almost happy to see her.

"Look what the wind blew in…" Inuyasha snickered, "A flying bastard…"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at the scene before him. Inuyasha's stupid companions all opening up their eyes and looking at him, all with stupid looks on their faces and sleepiness still about their stupid little weary heads. They weren't even awake yet. Hanako had been staying with these people. She stood up and knocked some of her long white hair out of her face. Much to his surprise, she was wearing a short, tight, and unusually frilly white dress that just so happened to be very translucent. He tried his best not to stare at places that weren't meant to be stared at.

She looked away and tears gathered in her eyes. She couldn't look at him. He felt badly for making her cry again, but hid it as best he could.

"Hanako…" he said quietly, waiting for her response. He wanted her to run up into his arms just like he had imagined. He waited. Nothing happened.

"Y-yes…?" she asked through tears, not knowing what to do.

"Do you… want to come home…?" he said, trying to keep his voice as cold as possible. Others were around and he had a reputation to live up to.

She turned to him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes widened. She nodded her head. This wasn't happening. It was all happening just the way she had wanted it to. Too good to be true.

Inuyasha butted in. "Wait a minute," he said cockily, "You break the girl's heart and then you come back here and take her right back without a fight or anything?" He turned to Hanako. "Where's your dignity? Are you going to let him push you around? Are you going to let him get away with it?"

Kagome got up and tried to quiet Inuyasha. Hanako lowered her head. She wanted to go back with him. That was all she had been dreaming of. But Inuyasha's words echoed in her mind…

"Aren't you mad at him? He had no right to just abandon you…"

"Where's your dignity?"

"He's just an asshole!"

She looked back to that day…

It was raining so hard that she could barely see anything. It was as if freezing daggers were falling from the sky and piercing her skin, causing her to bleed all over the ground. Her world toppled over as he told her he was leaving her there. She cried and begged him no but he had not listened. He said many mean things and treated her badly on that day. Before she knew it, he had disappeared into the sky, leaving her with that cold stare he had thrown at her before she left.
But then, Kagome had helped her. All of these people had given her a place to stay and somewhere to sleep and food to eat. They had all been helpful and giving and hadn't made her lift a finger.

And now, the man who caused her to cry was back, asking for her return.

A lie. That's what it all was. Sesshomaru and her had been a lie. He was a liar. Nothing but a rotten liar. He just was lazy and wanted her to do something for him so he had come running to get her back. Why had it taken so long to see this? She had done nothing but shower him with her kindness. He had no right to just leave her alone by herself. She could've died if Kagome hadn't found her.

And now here HE was…

She felt something rise up inside of her. A flame was lit and continued to burn through every act of kindness she did for HIM, every good thought she had had of HIM, every good feeling she had for HIM. Everything positive about HIM in her mind: perished. Gone. Burned.

"Come, Hanako," HE said, turning around, "We will go home then."

"…no…" a voice replied.

He stopped. One of them had revolted against him. He heaved a sigh. Which one of Inuyasha's companions would he have to kill today?

"Which one of you dares to resist me?"

He turned around again.

Hanako stood silently in front of everyone else. Something new was in her eyes… a twinkle of anger.

"I said no."

His eyes widened with horror.