Disclaimer: I own nada, except for additional characters that you won't find in the books.
A/N: FYI, I hear that I am stealing this idea from other previous stories. I was unaware, and this is just my version of the popular movie What Women Want (which I do not own) so read on to find out what happens once the potion kicks in.
Hermione woke up with a throbbing head and a sore throat. After taking in her surroundings, she surmised that she was still in the hospital wing, and by the looks of the window, it was the next day.
"Damn Ronald!" She thought wearily. It looked to be around lunchtime for the 7th years, which meant Hermione had missed more classes then she normally would in a year. Ignoring her pounding head, she pushed back her covers, and headed towards the Gryffindor common room, with the intent of going to her dorm and getting the supplies for her next class.
"Whoa baby, slow down that walk, and work those jeans.. mm hmm," Came a male voice beside her.
"Excuse me?" Hermione jerked her head toward what looked to be a 5th year, with blonde hair and gleaming green eyes. Upon seeing that Hermione was watching him inquiringly, he jerked his head up from her backside and replied to her stare.
"I didn't say anything Ms., nothing at all." With that, he scurried off to class, not wanting any more trouble from the weary Head Girl.
"That was odd," she thought to herself, turning the corner that lead up to the portrait of the fat lady.
"Ogglesploot," Hermione announced confidently, waiting for the portrait to swing open and allow her into her common room.
"Sorry dear, the password has changed." The portrait looked sternly down at Hermione, waiting for the correct password.
"Allow me, Mione." Ron had crept up on Hermione's back, causing her to jump a foot in the air. With a sheepish expression, Ron continued to talk to Hermione, forgetting about the portrait hole altogether. "I just wanted to say sorry, and that I wish it had never happened…"
Hermione smiled kindly at Ron, than looked expectantly up at the portrait hole, waiting for Ron to feed the password to the fat lady.
"Ya, ya, I wish you didn't get hurt, I regret it and all, but boy do I NOT regret seeing up your blouse as you fell," came Ron's voice from her side.
"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione cried with obvious disgust.
"Yes, sorry, Hermione, the password, I know."
Hermione stared wide eyed at Ron as he told the portrait the password (Twisted) and they entered.
"Absolutely correct," screeched Hermione, turning her brisk walk into a sort of sprint. "Every bloody bloke is being very twisted today, thank you very bloody much!" Hermione was going hysterical from the lack of classes, and the fact that two boys had crudely hit on her in under 10 minutes.
But, as Hermione was trotting over to her 7th grade dormitory, (on account of all the changes in staff, Dumbledore had decided not to have Head boy/girl dormitories until later on in the year.) she heard yet more remarks.
"Ginny, come closer, please come closer, let me smell your sweet seductive scent." Hermione allowed herself a side glance, and to her surprise, there was Neville, looking almost hungrily at Ginny, as if willing her with his mind to sit down next to him.
Choosing to ignore that remark, she picked up her pace, in more hurry then ever before to get to her dormitory, and to have some alone time. But, then she heard something quite too disturbing to ignore.
"Oh, yes, Seamus, right there is good. Wow, oh my, oh my, yes! If only you had an ass like Granger over there, oh my god that feels good though. Yes, if you had an ass like Granger, then you would be a GOD."
Hermione turned with horror to see Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan under a cover together, and sadly enough, Dean was staring right at her.
"DEAN THOMAS shut up! You think nobody can tell what you two do under those covers? Ha, well, way to give it away, talking about my 'ass' and other ludicrous things. 3 days detention, and get a PRIVATE room from now on you two!"
Hermione's hair was frizzed up way more then usual on account of her apparent fury. Her eyes were narrowed dangerously, and she was huffing, her breaths coming out heavily. She could have been breathing fire, if it was possible. But, as she looked around, all she saw were shocked faces, peering out at her as if they thought she was mentally ill in her head.
"What? As if you didn't hear that perverted remark as well! Codswallop!"
"Erm, 'Mione… Dean didn't say anything… maybe you got too much potion or something but everybody has been pretty quiet since you came in," Ron said, looking at Hermione with evident concern.
"Umm.. yes, yes, too much potion, you're absolutely correct Ron, I'll just go upstairs and get ready for good old Transfiguration, eh? Ok, umm…" Hermione was obviously flustered.
With that she was off. This time when she heard, "I'll see your lovely ass down here soon enough," coming from Ron's voice, she chose to ignore it.
"I'm just tired," she said to herself, trying to calm down. But, then, it hit her. Back when she was still living in the muggle world, she had seen a movie, about a man who could read women's minds on account of being electrocuted. (a/n props to What Women Want, again, I do not own that movie.) Maybe, the potion she had taken was one that allowed her to read wizards thoughts.
It all started to make sense. This wouldn't have happened if the sub nurse wasn't there. With that in mind, she reversed tracks, heading towards the boy's dormitories. If Harry allowed it, his father's old invisibility cloak would finally be put to good use this year. ermHerm