Warning: this chapter is slightly graphic, and contains some not so nice language. No One Knows belongs to Queens Of The Stone Age.
December 7, 1995
Ashley picked up the ringing phone. "Hello?" she said softly.
"Hello Ashley" C.C. said timidly, "its C.C."
"Obviously." Ashley snapped.
"Um….how are you?"
"Perfect. Jolly. Happy. You know the works. How about you?" her voice dripped with sarcasm.
"I'm doing fine…" C.C. said, guilt twisting her stomach, "look, about the other day-
"Your sorry? I know your sorry. Your such a bitch, barging into people's lives like that."
"Listen kid, you may have a right to be angry at me, but you do NOT have a right to call me that." C.C. was getting frustrated.
"Watch me. Bitch."
"That's it!" C.C.'s face was red with fury. No one called her that. "Is your dad home?"
"No, he's gone for the night."
C.C. paused for a minute. Ashley had said this calmly, softly, as if she wanted no one else to hear. As if she was ashamed of it. C.C. rid herself of pity, and resulted to being angry at the rudeness of the girl. "I'm coming over." With that, she slammed the phone down.
Ashley glared at the phone, and hung it up quietly. She went into the bathroom, and looked at herself. She was angry at everything and everyone, Mitch for being such a horrible boyfriend, her father for beating her, C.C. for nosing into her life, and Brighton for spying on her.
She screamed loudly, and punched her fist into the mirror. The glass shattered to thousands of pieces, and those pieces flew everywhere. Ashley watched open mouthed, as if it was happening in slow motion. Her dad would be so angry….
Ashley smiled then. Her dad would be angry. She hated her dad, therefore his discomfort was her pleasure. She smiled at the broken glass on the floor, smiled at her bleeding knuckles, and smiled to herself. She cautiously came out of the bathroom, and wrapped her hand carefully with toilet paper. Once the bleeding had stopped, she threw the toilet paper away, and went into the kitchen. As she was reaching in the fridge for a drink, there was a knock at the door.
She scowled, and stormed over to the door. She threw it open, and looked expectantly at C.C.
The anger in the pit of C.C.'s stomach had grown as she looked at the girls face. She pushed past Ashley, and threw her purse onto the floor. She whirled around, and fixed the girl with an evil look. For the first time in a very long time, Ashley was faced with real anger. Not anger inspired by alcohol, which her father possessed, but true raging anger. Ashley was perplexed them, and her whole body went slack.
"Lets get one thing straight" C.C. hissed, "were are not friends, but we are forced to work together for this play. You are a child, and I am the adult. Therefore I have the authority. Which means you are not aloud to disrespect me."
Ashley's eyes narrowed, but only slightly, since C.C. towered above her a good six inches. "Don't call me child."
C.C. grew angrier then, and grabbed Ashley's wrist tightly. Ashley shivered. Surely this woman couldn't beat her? She tried to yank it from C.C.'s grasp, but it was impossible. "Let go" she whispered, very frightened now. Tears filled her eyes. C.C. was blinded by her anger however, and yanked her closer, so her lips were right against Ashley's ear.
"No." she snarled, and grabbed her other wrist.
Ashley looked away as a tear ran down her face. "Please." Her panic grew, and she began to pull away even harder.
"Stop struggling!" C.C. yelled, "just listen to me!"
"LET ME GO!" Ashley screamed at the top of her lungs. C.C. released her wrists, shocked. Ashley jumped up, and ran down the hallway at full speed. C.C. followed close behind, and finally managed to grab her around the waist. Ashley clawed for the doorknob, but she was held tightly by C.C.'s arms. She stopped fighting the woman, and made her body go limp, so the weight on C.C.'s arms was overbearing. C.C. let go almost immediately, letting Ashley fall to the floor. Ashley rolled to her side, breathing hard, trembling unceasingly. She stood up slowly to face C.C.
Her eyes were curious, curious as to what this woman was trying to do. Help her? No. Impossible. Nobody had ever tried to help her. No one cared how she was. Yet they still bothered her. Her anger had subsided, she was now a shell of sadness and wondering, but most of all guilt.
"I'm sorry" she whispered, and turned to walk away.
C.C. caught her arm gently. "Hey…me too."
"No, you're not" she hissed, and walked to her room slowly. She slammed the door, and fell facedown on her bed. Her eyes drifted shut.
When Ashley woke up, she went out into the kitchen. C.C. had left, fortunately. That's when she felt a grip on her neck. She looked out the window, and realized it was early morning.
"Daddy.." she whispered, but he shoved her head into the table. She felt her nose hit, and watched blood cover the kitchen counter. He yanked her back, and threw her on the floor. He kicked her hard in the ribs. She heard something break, and saw pieces of her father's whiskey bottle flying at her face. She covered it, and pressed her face into the tile floor.
"So you break the damn mirror!" she heard him slur drunkenly. She couldn't answer, she was in so much pain. She could smell the whiskey that was spilled on the floor.
"I'll teach you respect!" he yelled, and yanked her up by the scruff of her neck.
"Daddy, please, I'm in a play."
"I don't give a damn!"
With that, he threw her down on the pieces of broken glass. Ashley screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Bits of glass slashed her cheeks, mouth nose, and forehead. They embedded themselves in her hair, they cut her hands, wrists, and arms. Her jeans shielded her legs. One particular shard of glass got in her mouth, and cut her tongue. She spat it out, and blood began to dribble from her mouth. She shook miserably, and stood up. She looked at her father with contempt. He stood there, a goofy grin on his face. Ashley completely and utterly loathed him. The only thing merely attractive about him was his face, and his sparkling blue eyes, which Ashley had gotten from him. He had a head of black hair, and was balding slowly. His jeans were secured by a large belt, and his white T-shirt didn't stop his pot belly from hanging out grossly.
"I hate you" she hissed, balling her hand into a fist.
"Come on, baby" he laughed cruelly, "I'm only doing this cuz I looooooove you…"
She drew her fist back, anger flickering in her eyes. "LIAR!" she screamed, and she hit him square in the nose. Ashley heard a sickening crack, and his nose began to gush blood. He let out a string of curse words, which only infuriated Ashley more. She punched him hard in the eye, he fell backwards, hit his head on the table, and slumped to the floor. She stared at him, trembling, and walked away. She walked down the hall to her bathroom, knowing fully well when he woke up he'd be furious.
She turned on the sink, and washed her hands, and her face, and managed to get the glass out of her hair. She slathered her face with cover-up, and did the same with her arms. She had a rehearsal today.
December 8, 1995
Ashley stared at herself in the dressing room mirror. Her cover up did a good job on her arms, but her face was still a little beat up looking. She had dark circles under her eyes, and a pale complexion. One scratch on her forehead was visible, but it was very miniscule. She took a deep breath, and walked on stage. She looked at her fellow actors, many as there were. They were doing the end scene. She looked at the audience, which consisted of Niles, C.C., Brighton, and Maxwell. She fixed Brighton with a quick glare, then went back to talking to the guy who played Prince Charming. He was her age, in her grade, and very good looking. He was a few inches taller then her. He had chestnut eyes and chestnut hair, and was well built. He was funny and well, ironically, charming. His name was Kyle Tillman. She flipped her hair and flirted with him childishly, as if she was a normal teenage girl who's parents loved her and that her face wasn't shoved into broken glass this morning.
Maxwell called everyone's attention, and the scene began. Ashley did her lines well and with talent, all the while stealing side glances at C.C., who was whispering to Niles with a solemn look on her face. The two kept looking at her. This infuriated her, and she acted her role so loudly and exaggerated Maxwell had to tell her to quiet down. She was positively steaming after the rehearsal was over, C.C. and Niles whispering continued just as the suspicious glances she got from Niles continued. She got into her dressing room, picked up her shoe, and threw it against the wall. She got dressed in her normal clothes, and stormed from the theater.
That's when she noticed something. It was snowing. She hadn't recalled the snow being this serene all season, and she took a moment to admire the white flakes falling from the red night sky. That's when she felt someone's hand on the small of her back. "Beautiful isn't it?" she heard Kyle's smooth voice echo through her mind. He put his arm around her, and to her surprise, she didn't pull away.
"Yeah" she said softly, and looked into Kyle's eyes. Oh god, what was she doing? She barely knew this guy, she'd only spoken to him three or four times in her life!
"You okay? You seemed a little iffy on stage today."
The question was asked with so much care Ashley almost started crying. "I'm fine. Just got a little caught up in the moment."
He smiled. "Well, I'll see you around, Ash." He kissed her cheek, then walked away.
Ashley's heart leaped to her throat. She was filled with a dazzling happiness, and she nearly screamed her happiness aloud. Until she turned around, and saw Niles and C.C. walking together. She heard part of C.C.'s sentence, "then she started to run down the hallway…."
Ashley's happiness vanished and her anger resurfaced. How dare they? How dare they? She cursed them for ruining her happy moment, and took off across the street. She ran into the first place she saw, Grady's Bar. She knew it wasn't the best part of town, and looked around her, not expecting much. Cigarette smoke clouded the slightly packed bar, and men sat at tables, having rowdy conversations with their buddies and taking shots. She grimaced, and sat down at the bar. The bartender, a short, greasy little man wearing an apron peered at her. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"
She drew a twenty dollar bill from her pocket. "One Budweiser." He took the twenty and nodded.
A moment later he reappeared with the bottle of beer, and she took it. She popped the cork off, and began to drink it. She had a few more beers, then started to feel dizzy. But all she could do was listen to the loud music that played from the speakers behind the bar.
We get some rules to followThat and this
These and those
No one knows
We get these pills to swallow
How they stick in your throat
Tastes like gold
Oh, what you do to me
No one knows
And I realize you're mine
Indeed a fool of mine
And I realize you're mine
Indeed a fool of mine
I journey through the desert
Of the mind
With no hope
I find low
I drift along the ocean
Dead lifeboats in the sun
And come undone
Pleasantly caving in
I come undone
And I realize you're mine
Indeed a fool of mine
And I realize you're mine
Indeed a fool of mine
Heaven smiles above me
What a gift can be love
But no one knows
A gift that you give to me
No one knows