Ladies and Gentleman! Guys and girls! I present to you: a present!

11 pages of Hanako + Sesshomaru goodness! Just to make up for all the time they were apart. I hope you like it because I was up till 2:00 am on a Friday night writing it!

I must say… I missed do much writing actual chapters that had Hanako not wanting to claw Sesshomaru's eyes out! (tear) so wonderful…

The entire time I wrote this, I listened to the song "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne. The lyrics made sense with the chapter (I should be a songfic writer. Here I am telling you what music I listen to while I write… like anyone cares.)

Another note: those of you who are a bit queasy when it comes to blood may not enjoy the beginning of this chapter…

Chapter 28: Questions

It was pitch black. Perfect. Just perfect.

Hanako hid underneath a large tree with branches that almost covered the ground. She stayed dead quiet, hoping that no one would hear her. She hoped that Sesshomaru would not wonder where she was for just a little longer… for no one would even want to find her now.

She reached inside of her shirt. She had hid it there, for she was sure that no one would even think to look there. And no one would ever reach in there to search for anything… hopefully.

She gripped the small knife tightly in her hands. She stared at it for a few moments, admiring the way its silver blade shone in the darkness. She ran her finger down the blade: the one thing that could free her of the pain she endured each day. Someday she would do it. Someday she would make it permanent so no one could ever bother her ever again, but not now. Now was too soon, and there were others who she did not want to leave. When they left her, then she would leave everyone. She knew someday they would end up leaving her anyway.

She rolled up one sleeve on her left arm, little by little. At first she saw nothing but her own pale flesh. But coming close to her shoulder, it revealed the marred part of her arm. She smiled. She liked that part of it better.

She ran the sharp blade down her arm, making another straight cut down directly next to her previous one from yesterday. Ah yes, that was it: the high she had always received from doing this: the feeling of the warmth of the crimson liquid from the person she detested most running down her arm, and dripping to the ground. She cackled to herself. Her sharp pain piercing her arm was most entertaining.

She gazed at the knife. It was now run over with red. She ran her finger down the blade again, enjoying the feeling of the sticky liquid between her fingers. She smiled wider.

She then gazed at her wrist. Someday, but not now. But someday. Someday she would look down at her own funeral from the skies (or perhaps look up to it from the ground) and watch as she was cremated. All of the people she hated would be there; everyone who had ever spat at her or criticized her; and they would all feel terrible for being the cause of death. And then they'd all die too. She laughed.

And then there would be Sesshomaru.

She stopped.

She could just see his face. His solemn face staring into the flames as her corpse was being burnt to a crisp until nothing but ashes remained. Would he regret taking his watchful eyes off of her so quickly? Would he come to visit her grave? Would he be at all saddened?

And then she could see Rin next to him; obviously she would be much older. She would be crying at his side…

Maybe he would cry too?

She herself began to cry. I'm sorry Rin! I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru! I tried, I really tried to stop! But my head… so many voices… it was too busy! I had to drain some part of me away… She hugged her knees. They would never understand that.

She dropped the knife from her hands. She didn't want to. But she had to. And come tomorrow, she would want to again. It was like a repeating cycle.

She knew that someday her own self would lead to her own demise.

She wiped her tears. But that was not yet. She still had some time left with the two people that she cared for most. And Jaken.

"Hanako-chan? Where are you? Lord Sesshomaru is looking for you!" a voice called. It was Rin.

Hanako stood up. Her arm was stained with dried blood. She licked her hand and wiped it off. There, among the many other scars, was a new scab. The deed was once again done. She unrolled her sleeve and straightened her hair. "I'm right here, Rin-chan…"

Rin squinted at her. "Hey… your eyes are red! Were you crying, Hanako-chan?"

"No. I just yawned. I'm tired."

"Oh okay," Rin said, "it is late. Lord Sesshomaru says we get to share Aun's back again tonight."

Hanako rolled her eyes. "Great…" That would mean she would not sleep at all, knowing how Rin sprawls out all over him. Rin began to walk away and Hanako followed. She really wasn't that tired.

"I found her, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said, running over to him, hugging his leg. He peered down at her for a few moments. She smiled up at him. His heart softened for a few moments. Someday maybe he would smile back at her.

"I am sorry I kept you," Hanako said, "I lost something in the woods and went to find it."

Sesshomaru nodded. He turned around and walked forward, Rin still clinging to his leg. Hanako laughed to herself and followed him. She thought it was funny to see someone so serious with a child attached to him. She laughed again.

Rin let go of his leg and climbed on Aun and Hanako climbed on after her. "Goodnight, Hanako-chan!" Rin said, spreading a blanket over both of them. "See you in the morning!"

"Goodnight Rin," Hanako said with a fake smile. She was already going to fall of Aun any second.

"Goodnight Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken!" Rin shouted to them happily. Neither of them responded. Hanako rolled her eyes, but in a good way. "And good night to you Chika!"

"Yeah, yeah…" she muttered, closing her eyes.

Many hours passed by, and Jaken had joined in with Rin and Chika in slumber, leaving Hanako alone. How in the world did they sleep on this thing? She knew if she even tried to roll over everyone would end up on the ground. She lifted her head slightly to look at Sesshomaru.

He barely ever slept. She had only seen him drifting off once, and that had been a while ago. He wasn't what you'd call "energetic" but why did he never sleep? It was because he was a demon. Sometimes she wished she could be a demon, just to see what it was like. All of that endless power, energy, no need to eat or drink. It must be amazing.

Chika was also a demon, but she needed to sleep as well. Was it because she was not nearly as powerful as Sesshomaru was? Or perhaps she was just lazy…

Sleeping on Aun was even more uncomfortable than usual with that Chika there with them, for she also took up more space than usual.

I'm not even tired… Hanako thought to herself, So why am I here?

She inched off of Aun, trying her hardest not to wake anyone up. She placed her feet on the ground and stood up, stretching herself out. It was so strange to be standing up straight after being curled up in a ball for so long.

She ran up closely behind Sesshomaru, and began to walk, without saying a word. It was so quiet, more quiet than usual. They bright, full moon shone beautifully. Moonlight danced upon the sky. It made her feel so alive, and that was new to her.

Sesshomaru heard footsteps behind him and turned around. Hanako stood behind him. He glared at her.

"What are you doing awake? It is late for you."

"I'm not tired…" she said.

"And why not?"

"Because I'm awake. You don't mind me being here, do you?"

"No…"

"I won't bother you. I promise," she said.

He turned away from her.

They walked for a few moments in silence. Crickets chirped in the distance, embracing the sudden silence.

"Was it too crowded for you on Aun?"

Hanako lifted her head. He was looking at her from over his shoulder with a teasing expression. She smiled slightly and nodded.

"Yeah… but I'm not very tired either…"

"You should have kicked Jaken off. He shouldn't be sleeping anyway. And Chika should not be either. Aun's back is meant for you and Rin only." He shot her another teasing look. "But it would have been too crowded for you anyway?"

Hanako laughed a little. "Yeah… but that's okay. Let her sleep…"

Sesshomaru nodded. "How thoughtful of you."

"I suppose it is."

A short, and yet long awkward silence passed them over. Hanako sighed and gazed at the stars. There seemed to be so many more than usual.

"You don't have to walk all the way back there, you know," Sesshomaru called back to her.

She looked back at him again. "I don't?"

He shook his head.

She ran up beside him. He peered down at her for a few moments, and then looked away.

Her face turned red, but she turned away to hide it. Stop it, Hanako, she ordered herself, There's nothing to be blushing about…

"I would like to have a word with you, Hanako," Sesshomaru said to her.

She gulped. There were so many things that he could have talked to her about: so many things that were secrets. She became increasingly nervous, remembering the knife that was in her shirt. Did he possibly know what she was doing earlier? Had he seen? She became guilty.

"Those visions you were talking about a little while ago…"

She turned to him. Her nervousness faded and was replaced with confusion. She held his gaze for a few moments, before answering.

"Visions?"

"Yes. The visions you were describing a few days ago about the man who spoke to you."

She recollected the visions she had seen after he had "died" a little while ago. She didn't really want to remember them, for they just confused her. It was as if her eyes had once been someone else's and she was seeing things that they had once seen. It scared her.

"What about them?" she asked, trying to sound calm and collected about the subject.

"I was thinking about them… do you suppose they have to do with the fragments of your life that you do not remember?"

She stopped walking.

Yes, that made perfect sense. Those visions of the man, and the fire, and the water could very well have to do with her old life. Her life that she had always dreamt of remembering. She had always been so envious of everyone else. They could all go back and talk about the "good old days" and "good times" and say "hey remember when" and she never could. A piece of her had always been missing, and she never knew why.

The visions she had seen had been so violent… did they explain why she didn't know what happened to her?

Sesshomaru stopped walking as well. "What is it?"

"Yes, I suppose they could…" she said to him. She began walking again. She halfway ran to catch up to him.

"And perhaps your power is also drawn from what happened to you in the past?"

She looked down. She still didn't understand about her "power". She didn't remember or understand anything anyone tried to explain about it. A cold chill overcame her. She didn't want to talk about this "power" or her supposed "past" any longer. An unbearable sadness always came with it, and another darker portion of her did not want to remember.

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something that you may find personal?"

His head shot around. Personal? "I suppose…"

"Why were you thinking about me?"

He paused. He didn't know what to say to that. Her past did intrigue him, but there was more than just that. He thought about her a lot, for no reason really. But he could not say that.

"Because your past and what you are interests me."

Hanako lowered her head. "Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Yes?"

"Was the only reason why you wanted me to come back with you because I had this power?"

His eyes widened. He couldn't think of anything to say to that. That had not had anything to with it.

"Do not ask such foolish things."

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize."

"Yes I do… I'm really sorry…"

He looked at her. Her head was bowed and she was staring at the ground.

"Not for that, well for that too, but, I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble by being so mad. I don't think I can say that enough…"

He continued to stare at her. "I thought we already settled this…"

She stared up at him, her eyes gleaming with sadness.

"And I'm sorry for how far it went the other day… you know… that shouldn't have happened…"

His eyes widened again. "Th-that never happened…"

"I know… I just never got to apologize sanely that's all…" she smiled at him weakly. "I hope I didn't offend any of the other woman friends you probably have waiting for you elsewhere."

He raised an eyebrow. "Woman friends…?"

She nodded. "Surely a man of your status has had plenty of woman, am I wrong?" She covered her mouth. "I'm sorry! That was a little too personal!"

Was that her version of a compliment toward my looks? he wondered to himself.

He slightly blushed, and turned away from her. The quiet filled the air around them once more.

"Actually, you are wrong," he said.

She blinked a few times. "…I am?" she took in what he had just said. "You mean… with me you shared your first…" she turned bright red and bowed to him. "I'm sorry! I ruined the whole experience for you!" She laughed nervously and peered up at him to see if he was angry. This wasn't really the right conversation a slave had with her lord. But she found it completely baffling that someone like him could be single his whole life. It just didn't make sense. And she felt increasingly bad for stealing away his first kiss… her being a slave. How humiliating it must be for him…

Sesshomaru thought about that day. It hadn't been a bad experience at all, and he would never admit that to anyone. But it had been a wrong experience. Not only was Hanako his slave, but she was not a demon. But Hanako did not need to apologize about it, for he did not mind. He did not mind at all. It was the complete opposite of minding.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Hanako said again, staring up at him with her big golden eyes.

"What is it now?"

"I was wondering if you had that jingle bell necklace that I… um… threw at you…?" She smiled at him to try to erase the image from both of their minds. She laughed. "Why am I even asking you? You probably left it out in the woods, right?" She didn't like the way she kept on struggling to come up with things to talk about. She always felt somewhat nervous and uncomfortable talking to him, her emotions all bottled up inside. She hated trying to act so proper and perfect for him. But he was worth it.

He gazed at her smiling face for a few moments. He had missed it so much.

She turned around and laughed again. "Anyway…"

He reached into his pocket and took out the remains of the necklace. He had saved it, sadly. It wasn't as pretty as it used to be, but it was something. He held it out in front of her. Her eyes glittered in the moonlight as she took it, completely shocked that he had kept it for all of that time.

"The ribbon is ripped from when you tore it off your neck."

She looked at him and beamed with happiness. She had missed it so much, and for some reason, he had kept it. She didn't care what the reason was, it was just such a kind thing of him to do that it warmed her heart.

"Thank you…" she said, her voice softening, "It's fine… just the way it is…"

She pulled her hair to the front of her and brought the necklace to her neck. She attempted to tie it, but failed and dropped the ribbon. She picked it up to try again.

Sesshomaru got slightly annoyed at seeing her pathetic attempts to tie a simple knot. He knocked her hands out of the way and went to tie it himself. He tied it in a neat bow with ease.

"Is that tight enough?" he asked her, "Or is it too tight?"

"Yeah…its perfect…" she said while blushing, realizing that this was what most couples do.

She pulled her hair to her back again. It covered his hands. He pulled them out through the many silky strands, enjoying the softness.

"You didn't need to help me…" she said, her face still red.

"Well I did anyway."

She almost told him right then and there. She almost told him that she did have feelings for him, and she had fallen in love with him. What would he say back? Words floated up and sat on the tip of her tongue. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Lord Sesshomaru? I need to tell you something that is of utmost importance. Maybe not to you, but to me…"

He turned curiously to her. "What now?"

Her face turned red. "I-I've wanted to um… tell you for a long time now I guess…"

What am I doing? she thought covering her mouth. If she spoke now, there may not be more nights like this one. He may never want to see her again. She choked on the words. They dispersed. She would never say them.

"Never mind…"

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "Is there something that you'd like to say, Hanako?"

She looked at the ground. "No. Never mind. It's not that important I guess." What use was it to him what was on her mind? "Can we talk of something else?"

The sky became increasingly brighter and brighter. Dawn was approaching them fast, and they talked the night away. Sesshomaru was surprised at how much he enjoyed the company. Usually he liked to be alone, why was it so different with her?

"We will stop walking here," he said, directing Aun over underneath a tree.

"Why are we not walking any longer?" Hanako asked, following him under the tree.

"Aun has not rested in a few days," Sesshomaru said, sitting under the tree, "And you have not rested all night."

Hanako sat down next to him. "But I'm not tired."

He looked at her for a few moments next to him, but then looked away. He turned slightly red. Hanako gazed at him, and noticed this. She giggled.

"What are you turning red about?" she asked.

He glared at her. "Do not say such things of me…" he said nervously.

"What? Is it me?" she giggled, "Is it because you saw me completely nude in that hot spring?" She laughed. "And now I'm sitting here next to you?"

He had forgotten that. "I saw nothing."

"Yeah. You saw nothing. That's why you were looking straight at me." She remembered the dumb look he had had on his face when he had seen her. She laughed to herself.

She also remembered how scarred her body was. Had he seen that too? Did he know and that was why he was having such pity on her?

She thought back to earlier…

"Lord Sesshomaru?" she called out to him again.

He rolled his eyes. Must she insist on calling upon him so often? But at the same time, it was okay. "Yes?"

"…What would you do if I died?"

He snapped around to look at her, his eyes widened. She was looking at him too, her face distressed. She was serious. What had made her ask him that?

He didn't know how to answer. It was something he had never thought about.

But come to think of it…

Hanako's living habits were most like a human's. That meant that she most likely would be long dead before he even looked another year older.

And in what would be in the blink of an eye for him, she would become an old woman. She would not be able to work for him anymore, and he would have to leave her behind. She would die alone, all by herself. Either that or if he kept her with him she would wither right before his eyes. He would have to watch her, dying more and more each day as he stayed in good health.

He was suddenly overcome with sadness. His heart pounded in his chest. He could feel it more than ever.

All of a sudden, he felt something fall onto his shoulder.

He turned his head to see Hanako's head lying on his shoulder against his pelt. Her entire body was against him.

Did she just die? He thought fearfully, taking a closer look at her. How terribly and horribly ironic that would be… she inhaled deeply.

No, she's just sleeping, he thought. And she had said she wasn't tired… she's going to be sleeping all day now… She looked perfectly content against him, completely cuddled up to him side. I suppose it is best not to move her…

His vision blurred slightly and he felt drowsy. His eyelids felt heavy and his body was exhausted.

Come to think of it, I guess I am somewhat tired myself…

He closed his eyes slowly and fell asleep.

The sun rose over a mountain, its rays giving light to the surface of the earth. Neither of them woke.