AT LAST!
The long awaited Kokoro no Zaigou Update! God, that took forever!
I was grounded from the computer… my mom caught me online at 3 in the morning. Oops.
Anyway, very strange chapter. Even stranger than the last one. I have probably edited it about ten times.
Also, a thank you to Mouseanne2 for appreciating my gay little author's notes! So people do read them…
Chapter 31: True Self
Over in the distance on a hill that was looking over a village, Sesshomaru could see golden light gathering on the top of it. That had to be her.
He ran down to meet her. He gracefully landed on the top of the hill. Her blank stare turned its way toward him. She stood perfectly straight, her arms at her sides. She said nothing to him.
"Hanako," he began, trying to reach her, "Wh-what are you…?"
Her glance softened again, this time into sadness. She knew, she knew everything, but she did not respond.
"Do you even know who you are?" he asked again.
She shivered. "I… cannot understand what you say." She gazed down at the chain wrapped around her body.
"Of course you can't."
Kagura came up behind Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru spun around to look at her. Kagura wore a concerned expression as she glared at Hanako. Hanako's gaze lightly brushed her before returning to the gray sky.
"She knows nothing because she has lost all sanity. Only vengeance is keeping her alive."
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about…"
"The vengeance against everyone is the only thing that drives her to stand here before us now, even before her power was activated. She is simple vengeance, and nothing more."
Hanako's eyes turned to glare at the woman. That's what they had all said too. She was not insane; she only saw the truth while the rest of the human race continued to be fooled by the lie that was love. She had known love once, but it had been taken from her. And now she was here, unable to rest in peace because of love.
Sesshomaru glanced over back at Hanako. Was this the true Hanako? He had always been curious about what she was, and about her past, but not anymore. He did not want to know what she was, or anything. He wanted nothing to interfere with the life they used to have.
"Vengeance?" Sesshomaru asked.
"I can tell you no more than that…" Kagura said, "For that is all I know myself."
Sesshomaru began to realize that Kagura did not come to fight him. She had simply come to watch, just as he had. He lowered his defenses.
Hanako closed her eyes. "Riyu… did you see…?"
Sesshomaru watched her closely. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Why did she call him Riyu? And who was that?
"Did you see what they did to me…?" She clenched her fists. "To… us?" The ground began to shake. Cracks formed in the hill. Sesshomaru and Kagura backed away from her. She clenched her hair, as if she were about to rip it out.
Hanako let out a high-pitched screech; so high pitched, it was almost not audible.
Many villagers in the villagers ran about screaming. Mothers held their children out of fear. Husbands got out weapons. People gathered in houses to pray. They all sensed the terrible happenings that were about to occur.
Inuyasha looked up from his food. He covered his ears. "God! What the hell is that noise?"
Kagome looked at him funny. "What noise? I don't hear anything…"
Sango looked about the village they just entered. "Where is everyone going? What are they running from?"
A woman who was running knocked into Kagome. Kagome put her hand on her shoulder to stop her. They woman looked back at her with terrified eyes, clutching her newborn child in her arms.
"What's wrong here?" Kagome asked.
The woman shuddered. "It's the end of the world! The hill is going to explode! A beast, they say, is the cause of all of this! Can you not hear it screaming?"
Miroku peered up at the hill. A strong, evil aura was coming from the top of it. It was shaking; cracks could be seen even from that distance. Light appeared from the ground, shining out of the cracks. A glowing figure was at the top of it, the light surrounding it. If he listened closely, he could hear an unearthly high-pitched screech. He looked closer at the figure.
"But ma'am," he said, "That is not a beast. That is the figure of a young girl."
The woman ran away in fear of whatever was on the hilltop. Many more people ran away after her. The entire village was frantic. Little children were crying on the streets.
"This is horrible…" Kagome murmured, "Everyone thinks they're going to die…"
Hanako's whole body went aglow. Her eyes shot open. A ripple affect went through the ground, causing the whole ground to crack. A strong wind surrounded her and swirled around her, as if she were in the middle of a tornado. The chain that was once surrounding her body disintegrated from the energy that had collected against her body.
Sesshomaru drew his sword and stuck it into the ground and held onto it so he would not blow away. The wind grew stronger and he could barely keep himself on the ground. Kagura held onto a tree.
Sesshomaru watched her with a saddened expression. Had she always been like this? So hateful? It seemed so impossible that Hanako, who was usually happy and cheerful, could be doing this right now. He could sense the evil and hatred that had clouded her aura. Something was going to happen. He had always known she had some sort of power, but he never could have imagined this. She couldn't even control herself. Something inside of him told him to run for cover, but he refused. He wouldn't leave her alone.
Hanako opened her mouth and began to sing:
Above us next to the sun,
There lies the child of shame…
He heard something behind him collapse. He turned around. Kagura lay on the ground. He peered at all of the villagers. They were all collapsing as well.
Let you hear his name
In heaven and out hearts…
"Kagome! Miroku! Sango!" Inuyasha shouted. Why had they all collapsed all of a sudden? He shook Kagome lightly to wake her. She did not move. All of the screaming villagers had suddenly ceased. He turned around. They had all collapsed as well.
Star of happiness, star of wonder,
You see everything above us…
He looked back at the hill. He had heard that song before. Hanako had sung it when she healed Sesshomaru. He dragged his friends over inside a house. He ran to the hill. He wanted to find the source of whatever was going on, and destroy it. He didn't want Kagome's life to be in danger.
May you contemplate your heart
Always… forevermore…
Always… forever…
She began to repeat the song over again once she had finished. That was something she hadn't done before.
Sesshomaru's eyes widened at the scene before him. Lava spewed out of the ground. She still clutched her hair, and her face looked as if it were in pain. He stood before her, finally able to witness Hanako's vast power from a reasonable view. He had seen her before, but his vision had been blurred. He was frozen at the spot. He couldn't think of anything to do. It was all so horrifying in a strange way to him…
"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha shouted to him over the whirling wind.
Sesshomaru spun around to see Inuyasha looking at him, as angry as ever.
"What are you doing here?" he shouted, glaring at his foolish younger half-breed brother. Must he always pick the greatest times to show up?
"I should be asking that!" Inuyasha yelled, coming closer to him.
The winds picked up more. Inuyasha was thrown off his feet. He drew his sword and slammed it into the ground near Sesshomaru. He gripped it. He looked up at the source of the winds: Hanako.
"What the fuck?" Inuyasha yelled, his eyes widening, "Sesshomaru… what the hell is going on?"
Sesshomaru glared at him. "I do not know myself…"
Inuyasha held on with two hands. "Everyone in the village down there just collapsed! Everyone just collapsed as soon as she started singing!"
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "Then why is it that we are unaffected?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "I don't know…"
All of a sudden, light flew from the villagers. Their souls were being collected.
Inuyasha gasped. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. Was this her way of "vengeance" that Kagura had been talking about? He gazed at Hanako with a pained expression.
"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha yelled over the noise, "I want to know all that you know! What is she doing?"
Sesshomaru did not respond. He just stared at Hanako. If only there was some way he could reach her. If only there was somehow he could save her from herself…
Inuyasha watched the souls of the people being ripped from them and surrounding Hanako. He couldn't just sit here and watch as they all died.
Kagome…
He drew his sword from the ground, keeping himself firmly planted on the ground. He glared at Hanako.
"Fool," Sesshomaru said to him, "What do you think you are doing?"
Inuyasha raised his sword in front of him. "I'm going to kill her."
"WHAT?"
"Look Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha yelled back to him, "It's either one really fucked up life, or a whole bunch of normal ones!"
Sesshomaru scowled at him. "You just don't want your pathetic humans to die…"
Inuyasha returned his scowl. "You don't care about anyone else's life but your own! What do you care if she dies?"
Sesshomaru paused, taking in what was just said to him. He glared at Inuyasha, his pathetic younger brother, and drew his sword from the ground.
"I will kill you before you can even lay a hand on her!"
Inuyasha smirked at him. "You want to fight? Now of all times?" He ran toward him with the Tetsaiga. "Fine with me!"
Sesshomaru held him off with the Tokijin. There faces were close to each other, each of them staring into their own half brother's hating gaze. Inuyasha spoke, using all of his strength to keep Sesshomaru off of him.
"G-give me… one good reason not to kill her…"
Sesshomaru glared at Inuyasha. How he hated him.
"Wh-why should I do that…?" he said, gritting his teeth.
"B-because… if its good enough… maybe I won't kill her…"
Sesshomaru's entire face saddened. He looked away from Inuyasha, trying to hide his worry. He didn't need to try and hide it. Inuyasha could already tell.
"I…" Sesshomaru whispered, "I don't want her to die…"
Inuyasha's eyes widened. He had never seen his brother be emotional before. He lowered his sword slowly, still staring at his face, still repeating his words over and over through his mind.
The truth must be that Sesshomaru was worried sick for Hanako.
Inuyasha stuck his sword back into the ground. Sesshomaru did so as well, still refusing to look at his brother. He felt humiliated.
"Then what do you suggest we do then?" Inuyasha asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
Sesshomaru looked back up at her. She had still repeated the same song over and over. He drew his sword from the ground once more, putting it back to his hip. He walked toward her, his eyes never leaving her. He walked over cracks and lava on the shaking ground.
"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha called to him, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get her," he said, coming closer to the tornado, which enclosed her. He lifted his hand and touched the swirling air. Somehow, he had to get through there. A piece of rubble blew against his face, cutting it. His cheek began to bleed. He wiped the blood.
Hanako's body jolted slightly.
Lord Sesshomaru's blood?
Hanako's hands suddenly dropped to her side. She closed her eyes for a few moments, and then reopened them. Her eyes appeared normal again. She looked around, her wet hair blowing in the wind. The wind died down and the ground stopped shaking.
I… don't understand… I died in that pond… why am I still here?
The wind stopped completely. Sesshomaru stood completely shocked, still touching his bleeding cheek. Inuyasha stared at Hanako, who seemed completely and utterly confused.
Her bright golden eyes saw Sesshomaru. She looked at him. Sesshomaru stared back, almost seeming frightened of her. He looked closer at her eyes. It was almost as if she recognized him.
She shivered. Her body temperature was still awfully low from when she had been in the water. She cocked her head to one side. How did I get here?
"L-Lord Sesshomaru…?" she stuttered. She wrapped her arms around her body and shivered, still looking at him with her usual big, innocent eyes.
Sesshomaru gasped. She did recognize him. He came closer to her. "…Hanako…? Is it really you…?"
She shivered again. A smile came across her face as she saw him.
"Of course it is…" she said, "Wh-what h-h-happened…?" She looked down at the ground.
Sesshomaru did not say a word. If Hanako knew she had almost single-handedly killed an entire village of humans, she would never be able to live with herself. It was just like last time this power of hers came into effect: she did not remember any of it. Perhaps there was a good reason for that. Perhaps the other being that was in the back of her mind that had just possessed her took her over when these things happened.
"S-sometimes… things happen… and… and I can't remember…" She said, while still smiling. Tears began to stream from her eyes. She did not like this feeling: the feeling of the hot energy pouring out of her; that strange invincibility that had taken her over. Her body was glowing and she did not know why. Could it be true? Could it be true that she actually did heal Sesshomaru with some sort of power? But she did not remember. It was as if someone else had been moving her body for her. Her smile faded. Her teeth chattered and she hugged herself tighter. "My head is broken… I can't think… Lord Sesshomaru… I'm scared… scared of me!"
Curse him… Naraku thought, watching the scene through Kanna's mirror, it was because of his blood scent that she stopped… it was because he was hurt… damn her and her affections…
Sesshomaru approached Hanako slowly, a little afraid that she might do whatever it was she was doing again. She looked up at him, noticing his fear. This saddened her.
"No, please…" she began, "I saw the way you looked at me… you don't need to try and comfort me or anything… I'll be fine."
"And how did I look at you?"
She looked down again. "You and Inuyasha looked very afraid of me… I see now that…I am one to be feared?" She looked around at the mess that surrounded her. The ground was cracked. People ran below the hill in fear. She stood up, her body still glowing. She looked at the bleak world around her. "Did I… do this…?"
Sesshomaru stared at the human villagers that were now beginning to storm up the hill, torches and all sorts of weapons in hand. He did not respond to her question, but she knew what that meant. Inuyasha sensed the uprising of the villagers. They were most likely coming after Hanako. He didn't blame them.
"If I were you, I'd leave now," Inuyasha warned, "Those villagers look pretty angry…" Inuyasha grabbed his sword. He dashed down the hill. He had to see if Kagome was all right. And Miroku and Sango too. And Shippo.
Sesshomaru stared after him, watching him leave. Hanako lowered her head. Her glow faded. Her entire body calmed down. Her heartbeat slowed. Her wet hair fell to her back. She shivered as the wind blew against her already freezing body. She still did not understand what had happened to her; what had happened to this place; what had happened to life, as she knew it. She was some sort of abomination to this world. She sighed. As she inhaled, she felt water in her lungs. She coughed and it came out her mouth. She had drowned in that pond. Water still filled her body, and her temperature was far too low. She should have been frozen. Why was she still alive? What kept her to this earth?
She felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned around to see Sesshomaru staring back at her. "We are leaving," he said, "before those humans catch up to us. It is something I do not have the time to deal with."
"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru," she said quietly. She quickly began to follow behind him, her feet aching with the cold with each step she took. She looked at him thankfully. She had slightly feared that he would have gotten rid of her or something. But come to think of it, Sesshomaru did not like humans, with the exception of Rin, so her "power" may come in use to him. Was that all she was then? Just some kind of weapon that he would use whenever he felt like it? That was the reason she was purchased anyway.
Her gaze fell to the sword at his side: Tenseiga. She had heard Jaken speaking of it before, it being the sword that can bring back the dead and save lives. She had never seen him draw it before. Had that been what had saved her?
"Lord Sesshomaru?" Hanako said, lifting her head to study his face. He turned around to her, his face still showing the same blank expression.
"What?"
She paused for a few moments before answering, but finally spoke. "That sword," she said, lifting her hand to gesture to the Tenseiga. He looked at it.
"What about it?"
"Did you use the Tenseiga… to save me when I drowned…?"
"Yes," he said, turning away from her, "And what of it?"
She smiled and looked back at the ground. "…Nothing."