OH MY GOD ITS BEEN FOREVER but I finally updated!
Sorry about the long wait. I hate real life… it ruins everything. For those of you on Gaia who are my darling readers, you know what I'm talking about. I hope I didn't lose any of my darling readers from the lack of updates. That would make me sad… TT Don't worry, I'd never quit writing this.
Anyway, I was looking over the reviews and I noticed that a lot of you said that you wanted Hanako and Sesshomaru to be together after their first kiss. And you were expecting it as well. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone… that won't happen for a while (covers mouth… OOPS). It really wouldn't make sense, you know? Sesshomaru is an ice-cold demon lord; you have to give him some time to swallow his pride! And he will… eventually… (Covers mouth again… OOPS SORRY AGAIN) And come on guys, a story that is going to be over 60 chapters long… don't you think that would be rushing it a bit? And what would happen after that, I would write all about their "happily ever after"? This story is far from a "happily ever after", and that would be boring (my opinion only).
Well, I just wanted to clear that up. Happy reading!
Chapter 32: Blood Scents
Sesshomaru stared at a burning orange and red fire, his gaze becoming enveloped by flames. Hanako sat close to the fire wrapped up in a thick blanket, the same one she had woven herself for Sesshomaru when he had been hurt. She squeezed the blanket around her as tight as possible, determined to draw every bit of warmth from it. She shivered, the firelight revealing the outlines of her face.
Sesshomaru looked at her, and then to Rin, sleeping soundly a little away from the fire. Jaken stood next to him, for once not saying a word. No one spoke.
Hanako eyed Sesshomaru carefully, studying the way the fire reflected in his eyes. She could sense something troubling him, but did not know what to say. Everyone had fell into a darkened silence after they had all buried each piece of Chika's body. Everyone had had the right words taken from their minds as soon as village men had pointed to her and called her a monster, and Sesshomaru had had to kill them. No one understood what was really taking place before them. Hanako felt guilty for being the cause of the problem; the problem's source, what the problem used to feed on in order for it to grow bigger than it already was.
Everyone got lost in the flames, each flare reaching out higher into the air and flickering brightly in the thick darkness that they managed to keep away with their burning fire. Sesshomaru looked at Hanako for a long period of time, wondering about her, and her connection to Naraku. Hanako could see his eyes from the corner of hers. She peered at him. He looked away. She stared at him as well for a few fleeting moments, her heart beating intensely. It blew her away. He had actually thought to save her from the pond. He had cared for her life. She looked down at the blanket around her, hiding a wide smile that continued to spread across her face.
They both looked at each other at the same time. They exchanged uncertain, and yet interested glances for savored moments, and then both looked away, once more at the same moment.
Jaken observed them carefully, narrowing his large round eyes.
Lord Sesshomaru may strike me down for even thinking it, but is it just me, he thought, eyeing them both, or is there an undeniable chemistry between Lord Sesshomaru and Hanako…?
Hanako lay down on the grass near the cackling fire, becoming a bit tired. She gazed up at the pitch-black sky. The moon was not shining tonight. The silence that went along with the darkness ate away at her mind. She needed to speak.
"Tell me about Naraku, Lord Sesshomaru," she asked. It was a question she had wanted to bring up for a while.
Sesshomaru looked down at her, staring up into the ongoing night. "He is a coward. Too fearful to show himself. That is why I need to go to him."
Hanako closed her eyes, remembering when he had been lowering her into the water.
"How terrible it is for you not to even remember your own father, so to speak…"
She opened her eyes slowly, remembering Naraku's face. Somehow, he did not scare her. When he had been drowning her, his face did not at all appear twisted in any way. It appeared kind, as if nothing was happening. The image of his face dwelled inside her thoughts. It was almost as if she knew him from somewhere. She wanted to see him again.
"He called himself my father," she said quietly.
No one responded. The silence continued to fill the air. She turned her head to look at him.
He had fallen asleep against the tree, and Jaken was asleep on the ground.
Hanako exhaled a relieved sigh. Finally… I have some time to myself…
She reached her hand inside the blanket and took the candle she had been hiding and saving for when she needed it. She outstretched the wick to the fire and lit it. She got out of the blanket and threw incense into the fire, letting it burn, and letting its strong smell fill the thick air in order to cover up what she was about to do. She did not want to awaken Sesshomaru.
Holding the candle in front of her, Hanako set out deep into the woods. She reached her hand in between her breasts and took out the knife that she always kept with her whenever she had a craving for pain. She sat down behind a rock deep into the forest. She could smell the incense from that spot. Sesshomaru would not pick up her blood scent.
Her arm shook while gripping the knife in front of her. She could see her own reflection in its shiny metal blade. She grit her teeth. She despised the person who stared back; a face filled with hatred, eyes filled with tears, and a mind filled with nightmares that were too horrible to be just dreams.
I am the dead; she thought mournfully, remembering how she had died in the pond. She had died. But Sesshomaru had reversed the process… but she was still dead. She had felt her life slip away. I… want to feel alive… Something! I want to feel something!
It was the deepest cut she had ever made, and it went through some old scabs and scars. Deep red blood flew down her arm. The warmth overcame her. She closed her eyes, allowing the sharp pain to overlap the emotional pain. She leaned her back against the rock, setting the knife down next to her. Blood poured onto the ground around her. Incense tickled her nose, and she breathed it in. Her sweet sanctuary; her escape from real life, was this.
(…)
Kanna stared blankly at Naraku's strangely amused face as he watched Hanako through her mirror. She gazed at the image that the mirror reflected. A bleeding girl.
"That's enough Kanna," Naraku ordered. The mirror faded to gray.
Kagura sat on the floor against the door. What is he planning on doing to her now?
Naraku grinned. He now knew more than enough about Hanako in order to get her to come to him. He cackled a bit to himself, thinking of all the glorious possibilities that just kept on growing by the moment. Kagura stared at him with an entertained expression.
"Kagura," Naraku boomed, "Stick around outside the castle. Guard it."
She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"We will be having some unexpected visitors, many more than the ones that we want to come."
"What are you talking about?"
"I will be lowering my castle's barrier," he said, looking out one of the windows.
Kagura's eyes widened in disbelief. "That is insane…"
Naraku eyed her with annoyance. It bothered him how she questioned him so. "Do not disobey me…" he began, "Kill everyone that tries to enter. All but one: Sesshomaru."
She turned her head to look at him. He wore a wide smirk while staring out a window. He was planning another disaster.
"And then," he went on, "While he is inside, take Hanako. She will most likely be waiting outside being guarded by fools. It should be easy to take her."
She rolled her eyes. "How do you know all this?"
Naraku recalled Hanako's thoughts of him. He stroked the red bead that lay in his pocket, safe and sound. She wanted to see him again. He wanted to see her again. He would make sure they saw each other again. "I know, Kagura. I know… They should be arriving soon. Go outside."
Kagura staggered upward and walked out the door. Even to this day, she could not stand being ordered around by some buffoon.
Naraku watched Kagura from the window as she went outside and sat on the ground. He looked away and back toward Kanna. She looked up, awaiting orders.
"Kanna, go back to Hanako again," he said. He wanted to find out more about her. The more he knew, the easier it would be to make her side with him.
Kanna lifted the mirror and made the image of the bleeding girl once more filled the glass. The girl was walking through the woods with a lit candle. She came to what looked like a campsite and blew the candle out and put it in the blanket with her. She gazed at the knife in her hand with adoration. She breathed on it and shined it with her shirt, getting rid of all ginger prints and marks. The girl stuck it inside of her dress and lay down in the blanket, hugging herself to keep warm. She closed her eyes.
Naraku watched Hanako intently, waiting for something interesting to happen. He never took his eyes off the mirror, even though it was quite obvious that she had gone to sleep, and nothing more was going to happen.
She stopped the process last time because of his blood scent, Naraku thought, but this time… I will get her to come to me, and willingly leave Sesshomaru behind.
He looked at Sesshomaru through the mirror, unknowingly sleeping away as Naraku watched him. And hopefully Sesshomaru has become at least somewhat attached to her, so he will be distracted by this, and then I can be rid of him as well.