Chapter Nine: Obsession and Envy
"Hey, Ar'ron," an Espelon asked. "Are you doing this just to impress Da'an?"
"What are you talking about?" Ar'ron asked.
"Well, everyone knows how you feel about her. I don't really care as long as the mission gets done, but are you seriously doing this to impress Da'an?" the Espelon asked again.
"Of course not. I—Yeah. I am," Ar'ron admitted reluctantly. "I just want her to remember me…and us. I want her to remember us together so that she will understand why I love her."
"Well, good luck is all I have to say, but it'll never work," he told Ar'ron.
"What makes you think that?"
"I've seen the way she looks at Link, man. She's enamored with him."
"That is not possible. She's an Espelon and he's a human. A relationship like that will never work out. He's not worth trying for."
"No way. Da'an loves Link. She wouldn't leave him for Sha'quarava himself."
"They barely even know each other. How can she love him?"
"Well if you're so sure they're not as close as they seem, why don't you just wait for her to dump him? Why are you trying so hard to impress her now?"
"It's all about establishment. Da'an needs to remember me for who I was. Once she remembers me, separating from Link won't be a problem. We belong together. She belongs with me."
"I wonder if Quo'on was this possessive of Da'an when he had her."
"He just wanted her to bear his children. He didn't love her. This Link fellow doesn't love her either. He will never see her for the wonderful person she is. He just wants her so that he can gloat that he had relations with a Taelon. Once they've fornicated, he'll leave her. Humans only care about the physical aspect of reproduction. In order to be with a Taelon, he has to feel more than just a physical attraction. He must share a deep bond on a psychic level. Da'an and I had that. He never will."
"Okay, so you think that Link will dump her because he's a human male and human males only care about one thing—this one thing that Da'an can never give him."
"Precisely."
"And Espelons and Taelons don't? You just said yourself that Quo'on only wanted Da'an because she was young and would bear good children for him."
"Right."
"And the two literally stopped speaking to each other when they found out Zo'or was sterile, right?"
"Everyone knows that."
"So obviously, fornication is something that the Taelons and us Espelons see as a big deal in a relationship too. What makes you so special? Why can you love her in a physical and psychic level and not Link?"
"What's your point?"
"My point is that this is all about the sport of it. You want Da'an because somebody else has her. Once she leaves Link and goes with you, you'll just do the same thing to her that you're accusing Link of trying to do."
"That's not it at all, and you know it. Why would I have waited all these years for her if I did not love her?"
"Good point, but that was before you knew she'd changed so much. She's not the same person she was when you knew her, and she never will be. Once you have her, will you be able to accept those changes? Or will you dump her because she's not this perfect woman that you seem to have embedded in your mind? And if you do decide that she's not the person you once knew, and you do dump her, reality knows that you'll never find anyone even close to fitting that image. You, my friend, are pursuing a fantasy, an obsession. If you're not careful, you'll never have any mate, and you'll be alone for the rest of your life. My advice is to quit while you're ahead. Let Da'an and Link be together and find someone else. There are plenty of good mates out there for you."
"You know what, Men'ta?" Ar'ron asked sharply. "I do not need your advice, and I certainly do not need everyone else's. I have heard these same words from everyone I've spoken to. I have had just about enough of it."
"If that many people are telling you the same thing, you should listen to them."
"Now you listen to me," Ar'ron said grabbing Men'ta by his shoulder. "I will have Da'an. She belongs to me. She's always belonged to me, and as the gods are my witness, no one else will have her but me!"
Men'ta pushed Ar'ron and released himself. "Will you listen to yourself, you crazy bastard? You're obsessed. This whole thing's making you some kind of selfish jerk. Da'an doesn't want you. Get over it! Get a life."
"Is everything all right here?" Mi'en asked.
"I don't know," Men'ta said glaring at Ar'ron. "I guess we'll find out when we get back to Da'an."
The squad continued on without another word to one another through the ruins of the fallen city. The entire city was deemed a disaster area that could never be salvaged by the hierarchy. Insurgents, therefore, chose it as a camping spot to hide their numbers. Ironically this was the same reason the rebel Jaridians choose it as a place to create their network of hideouts during the civil war. The perimeter soldiers had already swept the area of insurgents on Balvak's orders. It was the main reason why they had been sent outside the Citadel. With the area cleared, it was a perfect spot for a ship to land unnoticed.
Holding true to the tapped conversation, the ship arrived right on schedule. Darius activated the camera and whispered the news of the ship's arrival.
Da'an and Auger were watching inside the hanger with Geris' troops dispersed all over the hanger to make sure no one was watching them.
It was a Jaridian fighter no bigger than a Taelon shuttle, and it landed in the ruined square of the city. Dujak had taken ten men with him and had spread them out across the square to do away with any spies. Darius told his squad to spread out and wait for his signal to ambush the guards. Then, they would take out the informant, but no one was to make one move until the informant left the ship and was in range of Dujak.
The ship's top opened and a Jaridian in black jumped out of the ship. Dujak shook hands with him.
"I can't get a good look at his face," Darius whispered.
"Neither can we," Auger said. "It's too hazy."
"I'll try to get closer," Daruis said.
"Be careful," Da'an told him.
Darius crawled past the guards and behind a fallen pole. Then, he zoomed the camera in to get a better picture.
"Can you see him now?" Darius asked.
"Is that who I think it is?" Auger asked Da'an.
Da'an silently groaned. "I knew I recognized his voice. It is Vorjak."
"Now we have to engage him," Darius said. "Just say when."
"Wait until they are about to board the land transport," Da'an said. "Tell your men to take out the guards quietly."
"Done," Darius said. He signaled for his men to attack, but not to engage Dujak or Vorjak.
"Everything is going according to plan, sir," Dujak told Vorjak.
"Not so accordingly," Vorjak said. "You have failed to recapture the soldiers. You now have less than ten hours. How are your efforts coming?"
"We have swept the south side of the Citadel," Dujak said. "We are still seriously understaffed sir."
"So are they," Vorjak said. "It is an even match. No matter. The high council has spoken to me. They want to go to the Citadel now. They believe that they cannot afford to wait. All they need is my signal."
"Please wait, sir," Dujak pleaded. "These soldiers are sly ones. It may take time but we will find them. Eventually they will have to eat and sleep. They left with no supplies. They'll return to the Citadel in twelve hours, and we will ambush them."
"Very well."
Little did they know that as they talked, the Espelons and the Jaridians had silently and swiftly knocked the guards unconscious, and the whole squad was moving in to ambush them.
"Da'an," Darius said, "the guards have been taken out. We're ready to engage the informant."
"Wait a few more seconds," Da'an said.
The soldiers got in a position to attack.
"They're almost to the land transport," Darius warned.
"Go. Now," Da'an said.
The soldiers all moved in their rifles pointed at Vorjak and Dujak. They had no choice but to surrender.
"This is Lieutenant Martin," Darius said into the communicator. "We have apprehended the suspects. We will bring them in at your discretion."
There was no response for a while, but Darius used the time to get the Jaridians to cuff Dujak and Vorjak and haul them into the transport vehicle.
"This is Geris," the communicator said. "Bring them to the first floor of the hierarchy building. One of my men will be there to take you to the room."
"Yes, sir," Darius said. "You two are coming with us."
"I should congratulate you," Vorjak said. "You must tell us how you did it."
"Unlike you, pops, I ain't dumb enough to fall for that," Darius said. "No one speaks to these men until our leaders have looked at them."
"Yes, sir," the squad said in unison.
The Jaridians were taken to a small meeting room inside the hierarchy building. Meanwhile, the soldiers were well on their way towards surrounding the remaining soldiers. The reinforcements on perimeter were on stand-by near the Citadel's borders waiting for their leader's signal.
Darius and Ar'ron stood guard at the doorway and left the Jaridians to Da'an and Geris.
"I should have killed him when I had the chance," Da'an uttered under her breath, glaring at Vorjak.
"He's not worthy of the honor of death," Geris said. "Let me do the talking for now. They will most likely try to influence you."
Geris and Da'an sat across from the two Jaridians, who were still chained.
"You are quite the little escape artist, aren't you Da'an?" Dujak chuckled slyly. "First you escape from a heavily armed Jaridian battle cruiser, and then you escape a fortified, heavily guarded, unbreakable vault. I hear on Earth they have special shows for people like you."
"Is that supposed to offend me?" Da'an asked him bluntly. "You know, for a warlord, Dujak, you certainly are not that smart. The next time you have a thought, you should just let it pass and save yourself the embarrassment."
"You certainly were not smart enough to save Lili," Vorjak sneered. "In fact, I recall that you killed her with your own friend's gun. What should we file that under? Tragic irony or poetic justice?"
"We are not here to discuss this nonsense," Geris said sharply. "Your plan has been faltered, and your forces are at a tactical disadvantage. It is time to surrender now and tell us what your mission is."
"I believe we made it quite clear that we were revising the Lillian Contract, fool," Dujak said.
"How did you escape from the prison colony?" Geris asked Vorjak, ignoring Dujak's insult. "You were court-martialed, awaiting trial for murder. You were never to be released."
"You seem to have forgotten that I once ran the government around here," Vorjak said. "You would be surprised to see how many loopholes we have created for ourselves in Jaridian law."
"I particularly like the part that says that no Jaridian leader can be held without the possibility of bail in the time between arrest and trial," Dujak said.
"There is no such law in the Jaridian axiom," Geris said.
"But there is in the military law," Vorjak said. "I was court-martialed by the Jaridian military because there was no active police force at the time of the civil war. We all were. We could have easily walked out of that prison colony without a scratch, but instead I volunteered to be the informant for my fellows. Had all the former high council members left under that mandate, we would have aroused your suspicions."
"You are a snake, Vorjak," Geris said.
"You are a pussy, Geris," Vorjak retorted. "Look how you let these Taelons manipulate you against us. You never do anything without this little bitch's approval. She is holding you back. You dishonor the Jaridian name by letting her control you and manipulate our government."
"You challenge the wisdom of your own people," Geris shot back. "You sacrificed hundreds of men in a war no one believes in anymore, you turned troops against your own fellows in the hierarchy, and you used hundreds of women in genetic experiments. You used your own wife!"
"I used what was sent to me," Vorjak said. "If anything, you should be blaming that Taelon for letting Lili come to me. I gave her everything. I treated her like a queen, and I blessed her with a child to continue her legacy. All I asked for in return was her body and her sacrifice in order to save our species. I sent her to heaven before Da'an sent her to hell. I was doing the work of the gods."
"Oh don't try it, Da'an," Dujak said before she could defend herself. "I know exactly what you are going to say. You were held by your own species under suspicions of resistance affiliations when Lili was sent to my colleague. There was nothing you could do for her. I know these things. I will not bother to tell you my sources. Tell me, did that make you feel all the more powerless when Lili returned to force you to do what you should have done to save her in the first place?"
The entire table shook.
"You never cared for Lili. All you cared about was power," Vorjak said. "You are just as ruthless as anyone in that Synod. You were incarcerated, and you lost that power. Therefore, you let Lili get sent to us as punishment. She told me, Da'an. She told me that you were on the Mothership when she tried to destroy it in such a noble act. It was the last thing she ever told me before I reformatted her body. You let my associates take her and bring her to me because you were angry with her for stripping you of your power. That is what you do. You plot and manipulate in order to strip those who stand in your way of any power they have over you. That is exactly what we do, Da'an. That is why we are so much alike. We both desire control and knowledge—knowledge to vanquish our enemies. You are a snake just like me. However, there is one big difference between you and me. I did what I did to Lili because I loved her. You did what you did to her because you wanted to punish her. You are the one who should be standing trial, Da'an! You are the one who should be awaiting execution!"
"Shut up!" Da'an cried. The large, black stainless steel table snapped in two. The pieces were cast aside like small pebbles making a loud thunder as they smashed into the walls. Da'an rose from her seat like a rising darkness and marched towards Vorjak. The chair on which she had been sitting was thrust backwards.
"Will you kill me, Da'an?" Vorjak laughed evilly. "Will you destroy me and what little chance you have of getting information from me?"
Geris was too stunned to try and stop her, but he could see her eyes as she suddenly started chuckling sadistically. They were a bright red color with no irises. The two halves of the table burst into flames along with the discarded chair. "Oh, I have no intention of killing you, Vorjak," Da'an said.
Ar'ron and Darius drew their weapons instinctually trying to figure out how to handle this. The enflamed furniture surrounded the two Jaridians like a pyre.
"What are you doing, Da'an?" Geris asked. "You can't kill them! We need them!"
"You can't do that, Da'an!" Ar'ron cried. "You are better than this. You are better than this just like me!"
The flames spun around the two like a whirlwind. The walls began to burn from the intense heat. Darius could no longer stand being so close and had to back out of the room. Dujak began trembling as the flames spun closer and closer to them. Vorjak tried to hold his own, but an inner fear began to rise from inside of him.
"What's the matter, Vorjak?" Da'an asked. "Are you, who claim no fear of hell, so afraid of its fires? Or is that some underlying guilt I sense?"
"Shut up, you manipulative bitch!" Vorjak cried. "You kill me, and you will kill my daughter's only natural parent left!"
"The courts have no intention of letting you live," Da'an said wryly. "I am merely saving them the trouble of a trial."
"You killed my wife!"
"You used her like a puppet. You won her trust, you won her love, you let her believe that her kindness and courage had taught you to hope, and you let her believe that her daughter was of worth to you," Da'an said cruelly. "I should be the one congratulating you, Vorjak. You have successfully turned your own cruelty into justice. If you loved her so much, why did you not use some other human female as your next specimen? Or were you so afraid that if you used another human, she would see you for what you really are? If you loved Ariel so much, why could you not accept her as your own daughter? Why were you so willing to throw her away for something better? You were never looking for a family. You were never looking for hope. You were not even looking for a solution."
"I was…looking for a solution! I almost had it too!" Vorjak cried.
Geris saw through the charade. Da'an was not on a mission to kill Vorjak. She was on a mission to scare the daylights out of him. He told Ar'ron to stay back when he tried to help Da'an. "From what I hear, the humans have successfully made a formula that enables Ariel to live on Earth without any trouble from the atmosphere," Geris said. "The Taelon energy Da'an gave her fused with her DNA, and is now affecting her metabolism. It is slowing down. It is slowing down to a human's pace. She will not die as early as the rest of us. Yet this was not good enough for you, Vorjak? Why not? Was it really because you were looking for a solution, or was it because you were looking for perfection?"
"You did not accept Ariel because of your prejudice towards Taelons," Da'an said. "You were unsatisfied with her because of the Taelon energy you tried to take from me. You were unsatisfied with Ariel because a part of a Taelon was inside of her. You were jealous, Vorjak! You were jealous that you could not save her without me!"
"No!" Vorjak cried trying to hold back the oncoming tears.
"Think about it, Vorjak!" Geris yelled. "You were jealous of Da'an, and you were angry with Lili! You were jealous that her bond with Da'an was stronger than yours would ever be. That's why you made her your guinea pig. Da'an wasn't the one out to punish her, Vorjak! You were!"
"You never loved her, Vorjak!" Da'an said in a manipulative tone. "You certainly never loved her daughter!"
The flames were so close now that the two Jaridians' legs were set on fire.
"Damn you, Vorjak! End this!" Dujak pleaded struggling to free himself and put out the flames. "I will not die at the hands of a Taelon!"
"What do you want!" Vorjak cried.
"We want the suspension of the warlords' control over the Jaridian Empire!" Geris cried.
"And the complete, unconditional surrender of the warlords here," Da'an said.
"Give them what they want!" Dujak yelled.
"I…will not be intimidated by a Taelon!" Vorjak yelled. He used his sha'quarava break the cuffs holding his hands behind his back. Then, he used his strength to smash the chains holding his legs to the chair.
"Don't try it, Vorjak!" warned Dujak. "You'll never make it!"
"You stole my family and my wife from me!" Vorjak cried. "You never appreciated her! Why did she always favor you over me? You never even loved her!"
He tried to leap through the flames, but he had forgotten that they had been started by two large pieces of a stainless steel table and a black crystal chair. A piece of the table blocked his way, and the flames consumed him. Da'an immediately let the fire subside when she heard his ear-piercing, high-pitched screams. But she was too late. The charred remains of the furniture and Vorjak plummeted to the floor.
Da'an had to place her hands over her mouth to cover her own screams. Geris groaned at the ghastly sight. Ar'ron felt his strength subside and a feeling of nausea come over him as he saw the smoke rising from Vorjak's charred remains. When the heat subsided and Darius returned, his pulse dropped and his mouth dropped open.
"What the fuck happened to him?" Darius cried.
"The fool finally succumbed to his own insanity," Geris said. "He tried to leap through the wall of flames to kill Da'an."
"What do we do with this coward?" Ar'ron asked, looming over the trembling Dujak.
"He has not yet provided an answer to our demands," Geris said.
"I…I'll do whatever you say," Dujak panted. "Just do not turn me into him."
Geris and Ar'ron rushed to Da'an, who had dropped to her knees in shock of what she had done.
"I didn't mean to kill him," Da'an whimpered. "I…I grew angry, so I tried to channel my rage to scare him. I only wanted to scare him."
"He knew he was close to cracking," Geris said, "so he chose to take his own life. It was not your fault. It was his choice."
"But it's my responsibility," Da'an said.
"He was a sadist and a madman," Ar'ron said. "If your wish was to truly kill him, you would have killed both him and Dujak. But you didn't. You even tried to save him. Remember when I said you were stronger than me? This is what I meant. I couldn't control my rage. You managed to control and channel yours."
"How did you know…?" Da'an tried to ask, but her voice trailed off.
"I just knew," Ar'ron said.
"Well, I sure as hell can say one thing," Darius told Da'an. "You just saved these Jaridians some tax dollars they could've wasted on a trial."
"As for you," Geris said grabbing the still trembling Dujak. "You're coming with me to make good do on those promises you made."
He released Dujak's leg chains and dragged him out of the room. Darius followed him.
Ar'ron helped Da'an rise to her feet. "You are so much stronger than me. I have always known that. No one knows you like I do."
"Ar'ron," Da'an sighed, "please do not make this anymore difficult than it already is."
"Why can't you accept me? Why was I never good enough for you?" Ar'ron asked desperately. "You and I are two of a kind. We were destined to be together. Why can't you remember that?"
"You are chasing a dream, Ar'ron," Da'an said solemnly. "Even if I did accept you, things would never be as they once were between us. I may have loved you at a time. I honestly do not know because I cannot remember. One of these days I may even remember what we once had."
"You are every bit like the person I remember you as," Ar'ron said. "I would be good to you. I would give you a home, a life, and strong children."
"I do not desire anymore children," Da'an said. "And I am happy with the home I have made with Rembrandt."
"You barely even know him!" Ar'ron cried. "He's not good enough for you! I am just like you. I am an Espelon. We have shared the same pain, the same sorrows, the same longing for a better life. We have waited for each other. Don't we deserve to make a life together? Don't I deserve you?"
"Ar'ron, I have plenty of friends that I care deeply for—friends for whom I would give my life. Is this not good enough for you?"
"No," Ar'ron whimpered. "I want to be more than just some friend to you. I want to be your mate as I once was. I have waited hundreds of years for this day—the day we reunited. This day has come. Do not take it away from me. I cannot live without you. Everything I did in this life to survive was to get back to you."
"Was I such an influence on you?" Da'an asked sadly. "How did I place such devotion in you?"
"I have known you all your life!" Ar'ron shouted. "I gave you my heart. I gave you my soul! I gave you everything, and you throw me away for someone who is not even your species!"
"Ar'ron," Da'an said firmly and sorrowfully, "I…love…Rembrandt. Rembrandt is risking his soul and his life for me. Rembrandt has no reason to pursue me, to love me, or to care for Ariel with me. Yet he has never abandoned me. It is not love that you feel for me, Ar'ron. It is lust. You say that I am no different from who I was when you knew me. That is not true. I am much different. My fear is that once you finally come to your senses and realize these changes, you will reject me for not being the exact same person I was centuries ago. You are comparing me to a dream that I cannot fulfill for you. You must let go of your lust. You must let go of me. Rembrandt embraced the changes within me long before even I did. To leave him after he has given up so much for me is betraying him. I can't do that. I won't do that. Please do not ask me to do this. It will only end in pain for the both of us."
"You are wrong, Da'an. There is no lust within me. There is only love."
"If you are so convinced that love is what you feel for me, then why can you not love me enough to let me go?"
Ar'ron hung his head low and tried to reflect back on everything he had done—everything he had felt. His words and his attitude echoed in his mind for several minutes. He realized that he despised this person he had become. He realized that everything Da'an and the others had told him was true. Being without Da'an for all these years had turned the love he'd had for her into lust. The revelation only made him hate himself even more. He lifted his head as if waking up from a dream…or a nightmare. "I believe…I understand now," he told Da'an solemnly. "You truly love this man. You are happy with him. I cannot make you happy anymore, and my presence hurts you."
"No Ar'ron—"
"I can see that it does. I have dishonored you. I have turned that wonderful emotion that humans revere so highly into a malicious obsession. I have dishonored the greatest emotion that a sentient species can have. I am sorry for hurting you. You are right, Da'an. I must abandon my reckless pursuit of a dream that can never be and move beyond all this. My lust makes me just like Vorjak. I pursue perfection that will never be. Well, I will not hurt you like Vorjak hurt Lili. I love you too much for that."
Ar'ron placed his hand behind Da'an's neck. She let him caress her there, but eventually she had to let him go. "Goodbye, beloved," she said sadly—almost apologetically, and she left the room.
He was alone again. He then realized that he always would be.