Chapter Ten: For My Honor and Your Love

There was no need for a war that night. News of Vorjak's death had frightened the warlords enough to surrender. It turned out they were all talk and no walk, but then, the representatives had suspected that. With communication between the high council severed, there was nothing they could do about the unscheduled surrender until it was too late. Once Balvak was released, he sent soldiers to clean up the corruption that had allowed Vorjak to escape his cell. Soldiers kept a close eye on the high council until the negotiations back on Jaridia finished. The humans would put it on record that the Lillian Contract was formally signed and approved on August 10, 2014.

Balvak was accustomed to formalities, so he had to ask Hubble and Da'an to stay a little longer for the drafting of a new Jaridian axiom. However, the whole ordeal had tired Hubble and frustrated Da'an. The two sentiments seemed to resonate throughout the human, Espelon and Taelon ranks. They were eager to go home, and Balvak had to let them go before the situation compelled them to stay longer. Therefore, the Jardians helped prepare the masses for their long journey home.

Auger was packing in his room. He had little to pack, so he finished earlier than Da'an. He decided to check in on his new friend.

"Don't you have clothes to pack?" Da'an asked as he walked in.

"Done," Auger said lightly.

Da'an shook her head.

"What about you? You almost done?" Auger asked.

"Almost," Da'an said.

"Where's the rugrat?"

"With Ta'lay downstairs. They arrived about half an hour ago."

"I guess that means you're keeping Ariel," Auger said.

"I am still undecided on that," Da'an said. "I am going to speak with Geris when I am finished here."

Auger nodded. "You should keep the girl."

"Thank you for the suggestion."

"It wasn't a suggestion. I mean it. You need to take her. I believe now more than ever that Lili gave her to you because she cared for you. You two were closer than she and I were ever close. Ariel's even got your DNA. She only likes being with you. I think it's because you're the closest thing she has to Lili."

"I am nothing like Lili."

"I don't believe that. I see parts of you that are just like Lili."

"Like what?"

"You are both strong. You both believe firmly in doing what's best for the greater good. You both had to made sacrifices on a personal and physical level. You've both been betrayed, you've both been hurt, and you both share the same pain. I think that's why you don't want Ariel. She's Lili's daughter, and Lili was just like you. When you look at her, you see Lili, and when you see Lili, you see yourself."

"You are reading way too much into this," Da'an said. "You humans should not over-think things. It destroys brain cells and, in your species, there are not many to spare."

"Shut up," Auger shot back. "But I'm serious, Da'an. Ariel's all you've got left of Lili. If you throw her away, it's like you're throwing Lili away. I know you don't want to do that."

"Auger, I do not have time for this," Da'an said. She had a sneaking suspicion that Auger wanted Ariel to stay on Earth more for himself than for her.

"All right, but just think about it," Auger said. "The girl loves you. To her, you are her mother."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Auger sighed and left the room.

When she was through packing, Da'an had the supplies sent down to Tay'jay's ship. She sat to take some serious time to think about what Auger had said. Instead, her thoughts somehow drifted to Ar'ron. She kept focusing on that one small memory that had returned to her. The time they spent on the cliff of the mountain. Her sentiments turned to sorrow as she recalled his words to her. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. The whole time, she just kept focusing on that one memory.

She must have fallen asleep somehow because before she knew it, she was immersed in another part of her home world. There were two Taelons walking along a shallow creek in the woods. It stopped at a small pond hidden behind two large trees. They sat and talked for a while. Then, one of the Taelons reached in his pocket and gave the other Taelon a flower. It was slightly wilted from being hidden under his uniform, but it was still quite beautiful. It was a healthy violet with slightly bruised and bent pedals and an illuminating purple center. The stem was a rustic color like a redwood tree.

Then the Taelon began impressing his mate with stunts like trying to jump over the pond, trying to climb one of the tall trees and leap from one to the other. The other Taelon's head was shaking humorously as the Taelon in the trees tried desperately to impress his mate. That was when, as he was climbing down, he was pulled on to the bed of enormous roots.

I have never seen this side of you.

I was not smart enough to show it to you back then, but I always desired you.

You are a good person, Ar'ron. I am sorry I never realized that earlier.

With all the teasing and taunting, I doubt it was easy to do so. He placed his hand behind his mate's neck. Would you accept me if I asked you to?

Da'an blushed. Yes.

Would you remain with me for years to come?

That is hard to say.

But if you could, would you?

…Yes, I believe I would.

Will you accept me no matter what?

I do not know. Will you do the same for me?

Of course.

Then, I will.

I believe that we belong together. Do you believe this as well?

It is too early to tell.

But is there some underlying belief inside you?

Ar'ron, if we were destined to be together, then we will be. No matter what happens to us, no matter how far apart we become, and no matter whom we end up with, we will always possess some innate desire and attraction towards each other.

I know what happens with families in the Synod. They give their children to other families of diplomats in order to feed the rivalry between the Amo'qui and the Zunus'tos. But should something like that happen, you would never desire him as you would me, correct?

I have known you all my life. You saved my life, and you care so much for me. I do not believe I would ever care for any Taelon as much as I do for you.

Do you believe in that story of the two mates who remained together for all their lives and never coveted each other?

Do you believe such a thing could happen between us?

I believe that physically no. That would never happen. However, I believe that spiritually every Taelon promises their soul to one person. No matter what happens, they never let go of that one person, even if they end up with other mates.

You are quite revolutionary for your time, but I tend to believe the same thing too.

You do?

I believe it when I am with you. Why else am I so attracted to you after all the years we spent discounting each other? I must have given my soul to you.

After more moments speaking to each other and learning the other's deepest sentiments, they walked back. They both tripped on a large root accidentally and fell on top of each other. That was when their bodies joined and a white light enveloped that one small, intimate part of the forest.

Da'an awoke suddenly and felt her body fall on the bed. The memory had filled her with such bliss that she had begun to float. Suddenly, a barrage of sweet memories between the two returned to her. An entire hole in her past filled, and she had to see Ar'ron to tell him the news. She rushed out of the building as fast as she could and ran to the military barracks.

She asked a passing Taelon where Ar'ron was. He pointed her in the direction of his cot. He said that he had chosen to remain behind because there was something he had to take care of.

She ran into the large room with cot after cot arranged in two long rows. The lights were off for some reason, and she stopped when she noticed this. She walked slowly calling out for Ar'ron. An ominous feeling overcame her as she searched cot after cot on both sides of the room. She came near the end of the barrack. A blue light loomed over the next to last cot on the left row. In front of it, Da'an could see a discarded staff. It was a Pa'dar warrior's staff with a thick energy blade at the end of it. She rushed towards the blue light. That was when she saw him lying next to the black and green cot with a gaping hole in his abdomen.

"Ar'ron, no!" she cried and dropped to her knees.

He was groaning in pain as the energy was rapidly escaping his body.

"Just lie back, Ar'ron. I am going to call for help," she whimpered. She ran to the emergency communicator and called for a medical team. Then, she rushed back to Ar'ron's side. "Ar'ron, you shouldn't have done this. You didn't have to do this."

"I am sorry, beloved," he said weakly. "I have dishonored you. I have dishonored myself and I have hurt you. I do not want you to feel pain anymore. I want you to be happy."

"But you do not have to die in order for me to be happy," Da'an wept. "You have so many friends who care for you."

"I…only…care…for you."

"No! Don't you do this! Do not leave me, Ar'ron. Please stay with me," Da'an begged. "Please don't leave me. You can't do this to me! Think of your life. Think of Tay'jay."

"I will always love you," Ar'ron whispered. "I will always be with you. You were always stronger than me."

There was no last breath that she heard. There was not even a final flash of his energy. He just closed his eyes and lay his head in her arms. He had been holding her arm with his free hand. It dropped. It was the only thing that indicated to Da'an that he was truly dead.

"No, Ar'ron! You can't leave me!" Da'an whimpered hysterically on Ar'ron's chest. "You can't leave me. You can't do this to me! You can't do this to yourself. I love you."

Ta'lay and Tay'jay had been loading cargo on to the ships and preparing humans for the long trip home when they received a distress call from the Jaridian who had received Da'an's message. They ran to the barracks as quickly as they could, but all they saw was Ar'ron lying dead in Da'an's arms. She had run out of mournful cries and reduced herself to sobbing uncontrollably.

Ta'lay blushed as Ar'ron's energy passed out of Da'an's hands and into the next plane of existence. Two Jaridians, including Geris, and Darius had followed to see what the commotion was about.

Geris groaned and turned away from the weeping Da'an.

"Oh Ar'ron," Ta'lay said solemnly as the shock took away the feeling in his legs and he collapsed in the cot closest to him.

Tay'jay kicked the cot nearest him over so hard that it turned sideways. "Shit! Fuck!" He began hitting the mattress frantically. "You stupid son of a bitch! You were my best friend! Why did you do it? You stupid sha'bra, why did you do it!" Grief took away all his strength, and he could do nothing but sob intensely.

"Notify the others," Geris said to the stunned Jaridian. "A memorial service should be held."

"No!" Da'an and Tay'jay cried at the same time.

The room was stunned silent.

"We'll take care of it," Tay'jay said hoarsely. "Just…you don't have to do that."

Darius walked over to Da'an and flinched at her wince when he touched her. However, she eventually let Darius help her to her feet, and her tears stopped flowing. Ta'lay did the same for Tay'jay. On their way out, Da'an picked up the fateful staff and carried it back into the light. It was all she had left of him.

Tay'jay had to bear the burden of delivering the news of Ar'ron's suicide to the ranks. The Espelons and the Taelons decided not to speak until they left Jaridia. Ar'ron's uniform and his best staff were burned. The ashes would be scattered into space where the memorial service would be held. It was a difficult decision, but only the Espelons were asked to attend the service. They had known Ar'ron the longest. They had been closest to him. His loss hit them all as hard as it had hit Da'an and Tay'jay.

Geris met Da'an outside the ship where the last leg of humans were being boarded and giving her their condolences as they passed. He was holding Ariel…in order to say goodbye to her.

"I'm glad you decided to take her with you," Geris said. "You are making the right decision. She belongs with you."

"I have decided that it is time I stopped abandoning the people I love," Da'an said grimly. "I have seen what happens when I do."

"Ar'ron loved you," Geris said. "He was a good person."

"He did not deserve to die."

"In the end, Ar'ron loved you enough to let you go. He loved you enough to let you be happy," Geris said. "And while we may not agree with his method, we have to salute and admire his motive."

"It's not enough," Da'an said looking up at the black night sky. "I hate this place. It brings out the worst in people. It brought out the worst in me, Vorjak, Ar'ron…Lili. This place is cursed. It's just as cursed as both of our godforsaken species. I hate the Jaridians for starting this madness. I hate Vorjak and the high council for turning this place into a wasteland, I hate the Taelon-Jaridian War that embittered them in the first place, I hate Lili for falling in love with Vorjak and asking me to come here, I hate Hubble for forcing me, and…I hate myself for letting him. I just hate being a part of this whole vicious cycle. I wouldn't wish this place on my worst enemies. I could never subject Ariel to this torment."

"There are a thousand Jaridians out there who would rightfully agree with you, and a million more Taelons and Jaridians within both of our empires who would see this place just as dead as Taelon for that reason," Geris said. He gently pulled Da'an on the ground to sit with him. "I have only ten to twelve years left to live in this body. The Jaridian lifespan is limited to forty years, and most Jaridians do not even live that long. I am only twenty-seven. I am lucky that my wife is pregnant now. We may yet have a child to carry on our legacy. That is why I sent her to the hidden military colony: to keep her and our child safe. Most Jaridians do not wait as long as we did. Jaridian females are impregnated as early as the age of ten. However, getting pregnant early is no guarantee of successfully birthing a child. Therefore, while I do not condone or respect Vorjak's methods in any way, shape, or form, I understand his motive. Such little time leaves me wondering why we even bother. What can we do with our lives that will allow us to be remembered when we have such small time to do so? It is the flame that burns our passion.

"However, the opposite problem seems to be occurring with the Taelons. You have too much time to live. You get to watch the world grow old and live through the same endless nightmare of a war. I could understand the gradual loss of feeling, the eventual dullness towards it all, the loss of the will to reproduce."

"The loss of the will to live."

"The Taelons and the Jaridians are polar opposites that are exactly the same. We, who come from entirely different backgrounds, share the same pain and the same sorrow. We share the same dilemma, and it makes us hate each other. We hate each other for being so similar and so different at the same time."

"That is how you know that this war will never end. It will go on and on and on until there is no one left. This contract means nothing. It is just another promise that will never be kept. A conflict to end all conflicts is coming. We cannot escape it, and we will drag humanity—the most innocent of species—down with us in that rut of eternal shame."

"But I believe that we will carry on. I believe in the words of that contract. I believe that this is a vital step on the path towards peace. It symbolizes a time when a group of Jaridians and Taelons finally said 'No more,' set aside their differences, and let those similarities I just described guide them to a path to end this madness. And if what you say is true and the conflict to end all conflicts comes, at least one small part of both our species will be admired for the one day they decided to do something about it. They will admire the motive, not the result. That is how people like Ar'ron must be remembered. They should not be remembered for the result. They should be remembered for the motive. It was a motive steamed by passion and a desire to end suffering. That should be an encouraging memory."

"Thank you for that, Geris."

"It has been a privilege working with you, Da'an."

"Same to you. Tell Balvak I said so."

"Da'an," Mi'en called. "We are ready for take-off."

"I will hopefully see you soon," Geris said to Da'an. "Be safe and work towards that better peace no matter how bleak the future seems. It is all we have to live for. It is all we can do with the time given to us."

Da'an nodded and took Ariel. "Come on, Ariel. Let's go home."

On the way back, Da'an entered Tay'jay's quarters. It was after the memorial service, and she could tell he had been crying again.

"I'm sorry Tay'jay. I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Tay'jay said lowly. "He had been depressed for a long time. I just…never thought he would actually—I don't know what I thought."

Da'an sat next to him and held him close.

"He was my best friend. I'd known him since I was a little kid. We knew each other our whole lives. We'd motivate each other by competing together. We tried to turn everything into a rivalry just to make life interesting and exciting. I guess that's what you have to do when you spend your life on the run for hundreds of years. I guess the routine finally got old for him."

"Ar'ron's suicide had nothing to do with you."

"Then, why couldn't I have stopped him? I just feel like if I had been there just a few minutes earlier. If I had stayed with him instead of leaving him to pile everyone onto the ship…he'd still be here."

"We both feel that way."

"You shouldn't have had to watch him die. He wouldn't have wanted that."

Da'an nodded and hung her head low. "My memories came back," she whimpered. "I remembered when I first fell for him. I truly was in love with him and he truly loved me. My memories returned to me, and nothing good came from it."

"Did you tell him that you loved him?" Tay'jay asked.

Da'an nodded sadly.

"That's all he needed to hear. At least he got to go happy, not alone like how he wanted to."

"Do you blame me?"

"I have lived too long to blame people anymore for what happened in the past. I'm done with that sha'bra. You are going to make Link a happy man, and you're going to make a great mom for Ariel. Ar'ron realized that, and just wanted to make you happy. He didn't want to hold you back from that dream anymore. He still could've been a part of it. I wish so much that he could've been, but at least some good's gonna come out of his death."

"It is an ironic good."

"It's the only good a situation like this can provide. Just take it."

Da'an smiled. "I am glad you are still with me brother Tay'jay."

"I'm glad I have you with me again, sister Da'an," Tay'jay said hugging her closely. "I'll get over it. We both will."

"It heals," Da'an agreed. "It never really goes away, but it heals. I know that from experience."

"So do I."