Summary: Kagome used to be the popular and happy girl in school. Everyone loved her, until summer break. Now, returning to high school, no one regognizes her. Will someone be able to find out why she's vanished? Inuyasha's POV.
Rated M for the following: Cutting, mention of suicide, adult situations (Miroku's fault this had to be put in), and foul language... If these bother you, then suck it up and read, or leave.
Heart of Pain
Chapter Thirteen: Gone
My guilt over Kagome is heavy. I don't know how I got to feeling this bad. I mean, I wanted to know what happened to Kagome. I should be happy that Kagome told me what happened. But, I guess the answer isn't my problem. I'm feeling horrible over forcing Kagome to do anything... Like telling me what happened.
How will I be able to help her? I want to, but I don't know of anything that can erease bad memories...
- - -
Fear. That's the only emotion going through my body. There's no sign of it leaving, either. It's been three weeks since I went to see the principle. It's been 13 school days since I saw Kagome.
I can't help but worry. Seems at times like this that I'm just programmed to worry about things. But, unlike me worrying about little things like I normally do, this is a very big thing. Kagome is gone. She's been gone for almost three weeks. That's not so scary. People can get sick for that long, or go on vacations for that long.
The length of time isn't so scary to me. What concerns me is Kagome's mind frame. She's suicidal. She hurts herself. So, what's to say that she didn't kill herself over me knowing her secret? She was devistated that someone was told. I'm sure that her 'father' wasn't too pleased about it.
The weekend was right before she vanished... That could mean that Kagome's 'father' raped her enough to hurt her seriously. I mean, with his personality towards others, I don't doubt it. Still, that doesn't seem to work with my mind. The only thing that my brain will accept, is the idea that she killed herself.
I hope she didn't. If she's still alive, I can promise you she's not well. That's almost three weeks that she's been trapped with that man. That's a long time to be with someone who can kill her.
"Inuyasha." The teacher calls on me. I look at the bored, wondering what I've been missing in class. I haven't been able to concentrate since she was gone on Monday. Sure, one day isn't so bad. But it's a lot worse when you add in all the factors.
She's depressed, which can drive her to kill herself. She and I weren't on good terms, so I doubt that she'll uphold the promise. She always comes to school. I can't think of a time where she's been absent voluntarily. Even if it is only for one day.
"Inuaysha?" The teacher asks me. I look around, not really knowing what's going on. I hadn't even realized that I was staring at the board.
"Huh?" I ask. I feel like I'm in a trance, but I know that it's just my worry. I haven't been able to come out of this trance since Kagome went missing the first day.
"Are you feeling all right? You've been spacing out for three weeks now." She says. I look around, wondering where Kagome is. I know she's not here, since I've already checked, but I have to look. With all my spacing out, there's a chance she slipped in late. No, her seat is still empty and no one else seems to notice.
I stare at my teacher, wondering what she had just said. I know, vaguely, that she's worried. She commented on my space-outs, but I don't remember what she said about them.
"Go to the nurse, honey. Let her take care of you..." She tells me. I nod slowly then get up. I'm halfway out the door before she calls my name again. I turn around to see her with my backpack in hand.
"This would help." She says. I take it in my hand and drag it to the nurse's office.
Guilt and fear. It's amazing how horrible emotions always come in pairs. I walk to the office and to where the nurse is. I sit down in her chair, suddenly wondering why I came.
"Inuyasha." She says. I come in here almost every other weak because of fake headaches. She remembers my silver hair and dog ears the best.
"Huh?" I ask. I look over at her, and she looks just as worried as my teacher.
"Something wrong? You look spaced out." She says. I nod my head, then slouch in the seat. She calls someone, then one of those happy-go-lucky counselors is in front of me.
"Inuyasha, I hear you're spacing out. Your teacher and the nurse say you look depressed." She says. I blink.
"So?" I ask. I'm trying to straiten up and act like everything's okay, but my body won't let me. Everything in me feels like giving up. Giving up on Kagome being alive, giving up on my life. I feel like, now that Kagome seems to be dead, that I might as well be dead too.
"Well, would you like to tell me what's going on?" She asks.
"No." I say firmly. I'm sure it doesn't sound firm, since I'm so "spacey," but it's all I can muster.
"Why don't you tell me about it, sweetheart? I'm sure talking about it will help." She reassures me. What is it with all the female staff in this school giving me nicknames? Sweetheart, honey, sugar... It gets degrading after a while.
"I don't want to talk about it!" I shout at her. She backs up, looking horrified. Due to the fact that I lost control of my body for a moment, I think I understand what scared her. I turned into a demon for a split second. That's not good for me.
"Go home. He can't be here when he's going to threaten the others with his mood." She tells the nurse. I stand up and leave to my car, sighing.
"Didn't want to be in school, anyway." I tell them from the parking lot. Not like they can really hear me, but it had to be said. I get in my car, starting it up. Instead of driving, though, I just sit there. I still feel so horrible that Kagome's gone. What can I do?
I get out of the car, knowing exactly what to do. I'll check up and make sure that her guardian - some guardian he's turned out to be - hasn't hurt her. And that she hasn't hurt herself. I begin to walk towards her house, smelling a pinch of her scent. It's been so long since she went home, I can barely even pick it up.
After a few miles of walking (I'm guessing it was only five), I get to a house. It's small, and it has a giant tree in the front. I walk up to the door, knocking on it. I can't hear anything that would signal her distress. Not even the shuffling of boxes.
I guess I forgot to mention some things. Kagome moved after my dad went to court with the man who uses her. Even though they haven't investigated the situation yet and gotten testimony from Kagome, she was moved. You know, just to be safe.
After enough silence, someone opens the door. It's an elderly woman with a patch over her left eye. I think her name is Kaede, and she's really nice. She was a close friend of Kagome's mother. So, when the court issue came up, she was happy to care for Kagome.
"Hi, Inuyasha." She says. She's grown to know me from the few visits she's had with my father. He told her that the whole thing was my idea and is my sole responsibility (since I do have to avoid fighting with Sesshoumaru).
"Hi... Is Kagome around? She hasn't been in school for a while and I was getting worried." I say. Kaede nods and opens up the door for me.
"I hope ye did not think that the man harmed her..." Kaede says. It's kind of funny how she says ye all the time. She reminds me of a person in some folk tale you might hear your grandparents tell you.
"I thought that for a bit..." I admit. She points up to Kagome's room then returns to doing something in the kitchen. I walk up to the room, knocking gently.
"I don't want to eat, Kaede!" I hear Kagome complain. I clear my throat.
"Are ye dressed?" I ask, attempting to sound like Kaede. I must've pulled it off, since she actually replied.
"I'm dressed..." She replies. I open the door and walk in. Her room looks descent, considering that she's only been in here for a few weeks. I stand up beside her bed, ready to leave if she starts yelling at me.
"Inuyasha?" She asks. I nod and watch as she looks at her clock.
"Why aren't you in school?" She questions. Damn, I was hoping that I didn't have to answer that one.
"Well... Let's see. I was worrying my teachers, so I was sent to the counselor. When she kept asking me what was wrong, I yelled at her and turned demon for a few seconds. Scared her, so she let me go home for the rest of the day. Cooling down time, I guess." I reply. Kagome nods, then curls her feet up against her.
"Sit down..." She invites. I sit down on her bed, wondering who will be the first to say something.
"Why are you here?" She asks. I didn't want to start the conversation, so this is good... Then again, I don't want to admit my answer, so this is bad.
"Well... You haven't been to school in a few weeks and I'm worried." I tell her. She looks at me for a while, and I know she must be skeptical.
"Worried? I'm just sick. I have the flu and it won't go away, that's all." She tells me. I shrug my shoulders sheepishly. Why didn't I know that? Hell, she smells sick!
"Well, I didn't know... I was worried that something else happened. You and I weren't getting along too well, and I thought you went back on your promise and... ended things." I say quietly. A long bubble of silence fills the air, and I'm tempted to leave. But, I want to hear her reply before I do. That's why I'm still sitting on this bed.
"I didn't mean to worry you. And, even though we weren't getting along, I kept the promise. I wouldn't have gone back on that for anything." She tells me. I smile faintly, trying to get over the anxiety that I'd been bottling up for weeks.
Suddenly, without any warning, Kagome hugs me. I'm shocked and clueless on why she did this. I hug her back, slowly getting used to the feeling.
"I--"
"Kagome, time to eat." Kaede calls. I let Kagome go only to see Kaede standing in the doorway.
Don't you hate it when you're about to say something important, and you can't? Not because your voice is choked up or anything, but because people interrupt you. Now, I don't hate Kaede, but I feel that the news is totally ruined.
"Alright." Kagome looks at me. "What were you saying?" She asks. I hesitate. It's not the right moment to tell her what I was about to say. Besides, even ifit was, I'm not going to say it in front of Kaede. That's just... That's like telling your old, pruny grandparents that you think they smell cool. It's just wrong.
". . . . I... I'll see you when you get back to school." I say slowly. I look at Kaede, and she's setting the plate on Kagome's lap.
"Visitation is now over." She tells me. I leave, rolling my eyes while she can't see it. She's a nice woman, butshe can get over-protective of Kagome.
So, Kagome's doing better. That's always a relief to hear. Mainly it's a relief when you worried for a few weeks that she killed herself. Kagome was smiling a descent amount today. That's good since she has an aweful lot that would make her not want to smile.
All-in-all, I guess that it's been a good day today. Well, in Kagome's defense. The rest of my day is a different story...
Next time on Heart of Pain...
Inuyasha hasn't felt like eating recently. Kagome's still sick in bed, and it's been ages since her appearance at school. While picking at his food, he hears something that he doesn't expect. Who is this person that wants to sit with him?
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