Title: Breaking Symphonies
Author: Sparklehunter
Summary: Iruka isn't dead, but it may have been the better option. Then again, all dark clouds come edged in silver. . . .
Part, 3/6 (?)
Author's Note: Number ten, part three in a series of snapshots about the aftermath of an almost-death. Sequel to Worth Something/Feel.
Author's Note II: Please Review! They taste better than dinner, and I'm too poor to eat! And stop in tomorrow or the next day for part four of Breaking Symphonies.
Author's Note III: I'm so sorry this took so long; real life came up. I can't to explain more, because it always seems to turn into a three page rant.
Breaking Symphonies
Name
by sparklehunter
"What's your name, Konoha?"
It's Goro holding the whip, his blue eyes furious as he flicks his wrist (Goro's angry Saburo's not there, Goro's bitter because Iruka won't break, Goro hates because Saburo's never around and Iruka wishes he doesn't know Goro misses his brother), but it's Shiro asking the questions. His voice is . . . gentle, Iruka realizes, careful and gentle and reminiscent of his demon-eyed brother. Iruka hates that realization, because he hates Saburo most of all. Shiro does not sound exactly like Saburo, but the delicate click of the 'k,' the soft almost-breath that he uses for 'wh,' and the false caring are similar enough. Similar enough. . . .
The whip breaks the air and bites his flesh and Iruka, facing the wall of his cell, his arms shackled to the wall before him, bites through his lip to keep from groaning.
He uses the pain to block his mouth, block his ears, not hear nor think nor speak the question or answer. (Umino Iruka)
Instead, he thinks how Saburo isn't in his cell, and how much easier it is to stay silent when Saburo isn't there. Every time Iruka sees Saburo, for a moment he sees Kakashi, and he loses all his focus and has to remember why he can't tell Kakashi his name or anything else . . . and he knows Saburo understands the reaction, has analyzed it, and is using it against him at this very moment.
Because Saburo is sometimes gentle, wrapping his cold pale arms around Iruka, whispering gently in his ear and smoothing bandages and cream over his abused skin, and the moments when Saburo rips him apart with a knife and his lips seem so far away and unreal that Iruka just wants to confess it all and drown in the play-sympathy. So Iruka hates him, less for the moments of torture than the moments of fake caring.
"What's your name, Konoha?"
Iruka's eyes fly wide, wide, and he bites his tongue to keep from screaming when Goro grabs his shoulders and swings him around, slamming his back into the wall and pulling his shoulder out of joint. Goro's eyes are wild with fury, and as stars fade from his vision he hears Goro curse him and then Shiro pulls Goro back, rests a fire-touched hand on Iruka's cheek, and Iruka loses everything to pain.
He dimly hears Goro shrieking at him, but that could be his mind, because there is pain.
fire in his veins in his heart in his chest and eyes and ears and he bleeds cracks his head against the wall dangles from chains and convulses and his throat is ripped apart from pain and screaming and pain and pain and his skull cracks and his bones break and his heart bursts and through it all he hears Goro scream at him and sees Shiro's blue eyes fill with red fire the tattoos on his skin burn like hell while Iruka feels his legs for the first time in months and all there is is pain and Kakashi's voice and Goro shrieking
"What's your name, Konoha?" and then everything goes away, the pain and fire and fury, and Iruka sobs against Kakashi and whimpers as Kakashi whispers soothingly at him and Iruka says,
"Umino Iruka" because Kakashi's there and everything's okay.
Iruka's unconscious when Goro says, "What's your name, Konoha," but Saburo smiles into his hair.
TBC.
Review Responses: Thank you, to all who reviewed/put up with the delay.
Turtle Demon: No one ever dies until you see them dead, take their pulse, have it confirmed by a doctor, and cremate them. Unfortunately, Kakashi does not know of this rule.
Polka Dot: So either way you look at it, Kakashi's screwed, right?
Shi-chan: Hey, good job! I'm surprised more people didn't write about Iruka's paralysis and his arousal. Actually, I went online and found Christopher and Dana Reeves website for paralysis, as well as the american medical association or something. From what I understand (and I could be wrong), as well as what I learned in anatomy and phys, the human brain does not control all nerve impulses. Certain electric signals are actually stored in the nerves – kinda like mini-brains with specific tasks. As long as those specific nerves aren't damaged, that impulse won't be interrupted. According to what I read, the sacral vertebrae (the set below the lumbar vertebrae, which is what Iruka broke) contain these impulses regarding sexual activity. It isn't pleasurable (physically), but physical stimuli can cause arousal.
DK-Joy: you made me giggle . . . 'death is a valid escape . . . ' well, we'll see. Iruka's a stubborn sonofabitch, though this latest episode may be more than he can handle.