This was a very short drabble written as a challenge with the theme 'Unrequited Love'
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Don't sue me - I just play here.
Drop Like A Stone
She'll never love River the way she loved him. How could She? It was an impossibility. He was always there for her, always right here. Watching out for her. Making sure she stayed out of danger. And she in turn watched out for him. He nursed her when she was sick and rejoiced in her when she was happy.
River leans back in the chair and lets herself dream. She runs her hand along the soft skin of her arm and trembles.
River watches them all come and go. Some linger in here but there is fear in their eyes. They know what she has done. Simon has fear in his eyes. He's the one who always looked out for me, she thinks and now he doesn't know his place now I can look out for myself. But he has Kaylee and that makes him happy.
River pulls her knees up to her chest and rubs her cheek against the cool cotton of her dress. She wonders what it feels like to have someone's hands on your skin, with all that pent-up passion and longing. She observes, but she does not know. River could ask Inara, ask her to tell her what it feels like. But then Inara doesn't know either. She knows about money and the calm tea sharing ceremonies and pleasing someone else. Love is complicated. River agrees.
Kaylee loves her just as much as he did. But then Kaylee loves everybody. She'll hug her when she's sad and look after her when she's sick.
And Simon never thinks about her that way. Its never even crossed his mind. But River knows that Simon is ruled by logic, he lacks the daydreams and passion of River's brain. River wonders if he misses them. But maybe he never had them in the first place to miss.
Jayne doesn't care. Well he pretends he doesn't. But she's been broken plenty and she'll still fly true. He can respect her for that.
She loves everyone equally. But Mal thinks he has that special bond with her. They've been together the longest. But He was always her favourite. He had a special place in her heart. She doesn't tell that to Mal.
He used to put his hands on her and make her dance. River points her toe out over the console. She doesn't dance anymore. No one to dance with.
River pulls her foot back in and reaches over to pick up a palm tree. No one has moved them. They are as much part of the bridge as He was. She sets it back down reverently next to a stegosaurus and sighs. She will never love me the way she loved him, she thinks sadly.
Zoë won't look at the albatross that has taken Wash's place. The one that is trying to steal Serenity's heart away. Serenity was Wash's other woman, and Zoë always understood.
"I am a leaf on the wind," she whispers to Serenity and receives no answer in reply. In Serenity's eyes, she's going to drop like a stone.