Lily Willy
"Now Lily, come on!" Tessa said, trying to pull on my four-poster curtains I charmed shut. "I don't think James saw a thing."
"You don't know that!" I say, my voice muffled because I had my face on my pillow, on the small chance I could smother myself out of existence. But wait? I sit up and took the charm off my curtains. "What makes you think I was looking at James? I wasn't looking at James! I wasn't looking at him at all!" I wasn't looking at him. Not James, it wasn't James---oh shut up! Fine, I was looking at James. I just want to shoot that girlish side of me. After the look Tessa and Maggie were giving me, I caved and admitted, "Ok, yes, you win. I was looking at James when I conjured the rubbers."
"Hey!" Maggie says, brightly, "Look on the bright side."
"What bright side?" I mutter, darkly.
"McGonagall did award Gryffindor five points for your excellent use of the Vanishing Spell."
I did some more incoherent muttering and went back to smothering myself with my pillow. When I couldn't breathe, I flipped to my stomach. "What I don't understand is why I conjured rubbers."
"Weeeell," Tessa starts, leaning on my bed post, "maybe it was you subconscious speaking out that you wanted to do James."
"Tessa!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I do not want to do James! Just because I was merely admiring his manly physique, does not mean I want to sleep with him." They're suppose to be my best friends. So what if James was considered one of the most do-able guys----ok shutting up.
"Uh-huh, right," Maggie and Tessa both say. "Lily, you have to admit that James hasn't been pestering you to go out with him during the three days we've been here. Not to mention his head seems to have deflated a wee bit," Tessa said.
"How 'bout just forget this all happened and go to lunch?" I nearly shouted.
Maggie shrugs, "Works for me. And Lily, don't forget about Charms. You already missed History of Magic."
"How can I miss it? I thought it already happened. That's why it's called 'history'."
At lunch, James and Sirius kept pestering me about why I wasn't in History and what happened in Transfiguration. I couldn't stand to look at James. I couldn't, the embarrassment was still too fresh in my mind. Fortunately, they seemed to get the hint when I threatened to curse them. You see, I am not at the top of the class in Charms and our year for no reason. I know my curses very well.
"….an' whe' 'e tol' 'e," Sirius was saying, well, trying to say, as he was also shoveling food into his mouth at the same time.
Remus finally takes his wand out and points it to Sirius's jaw and says, "Petrificus!" and Sirius's jaw snaps shut. "You know, I hear that it is custom here in England, and much of America, to swallow your food before you talk."
After Remus took the curse off, Veruca hurries past our group. "Hey Veruca! Aren't you sitting with us?" Tessa calls out, but Veruca didn't answer. Instead, she sits down at the front of the table with the other first year girls. The other four girls, all with varying shades of blonde hair, stared at her, and went about their conversation and not including her.
"What's with her?" Maggie wonders.
"She's upset because the other girls were being mean to her," James said. Suddenly, James stands up and takes his plate and goblet and heads down towards Veruca.
"Well, I think I shall join them," I say, and picked up my things. Tessa, Maggie, and the other Marauders do the same and we all caught up with James and we all sat around the first year girls.
"Hello, Vee," James said, ignoring the awed looks he was getting from the Blonde Squad. "I thought I'd sit with my favorite cousin," James stressed the word cousin and drapes an arm around Veruca's shoulder while giving the Blonde Squad a pointed look.
"Hi, Jamie," Veruca says in a small voice. I look over at Tessa and Maggie. They, like me, had stunned looks. No one calls James Jamie. It drives him bonkers!
"Wooooooow," one of the girls went, awed. "He's your cousin? Why didn't you say so, Vee?"
Those skanks! "It shouldn't matter who you know or who you're related to," I tell the girls coolly. I seriously couldn't believe those girls. The Skank Squad looked over at me.
"Well, duh, of course it matters. How else are you would you become popular?" Another girl said. Hmmmm, I wonder if Sirius would let me borrow his tequila. Kidding, I would never stoop to Slytherin's level and spike the girls' drink.
But before I could say anything, lunch was over. Everyone got up and chatted merrily out of the Great Hall, even the other Marauders and Tessa and Maggie. I looked over my shoulder to see where James was. He was talking with Veruca still at the table. What I saw made my heart swell. James was kneeling on his knees, talking softly to Veruca. James stands back up and Veruca hugs James around the middle and hurries out the Great Hall.
"What did you say to her?" I ask James as he walks up the entrance. "She seems happier now."
"What can I say?" James said, brushing his knuckles on his robes. "I'm a miracle worker. I just told her a way to get back at them. Sirius should have some Fairy eggs left."
"Fairy eggs!" I step in front of James and looked right up at him, well, I would have to look up. I barely come up to his shoulders. "Fairy eggs have strong magical properties. Just what did you suggest Vee to do?"
"Just slip some into a few sweets, send them anonymously to them. Fairy eggs in the digestive system make quite a laxative."
"JAMES! You're Head Boy! You should know better!" I shouted, punching him hard in the abs.
"Like that's suppose to hurt," James laughs. "You hit like a girl!"
"Ugh!" and I punch him again and whip around. I became quite satisfied when I heard a soft "Ow!" Justice is served. An hour later, I find Veruca in the library. I smile as I see her happily chatting with some second year Gryffindor boys and a first year Ravenclaw girl.
"Veruca, may I speak with you for a moment?" I ask the first year. Veruca nods and follows me to a table not too far a way. "Now, I know how much James means to you and how much you look up to him, but sometimes James gives bad advice."
Veruca gave me an odd look. "Ignoring them and make other friends is bad advice?"
"Yes—what? Didn't James tell you to ask Sirius for fairy eggs?"
"Nooo," Veruca says slowly, not sure what I was talking about. I suddenly didn't know what I was talking about.
"You know what?" I said, getting up, "Lets just forget we had this discussion and I'm going to have a small chat with that cousin of yours."
"Ok!" Veruca says brightly, hurrying back to her new friends.
It wasn't until my Ancient Runes class that I found James in the Common Room with the rest of the Marauders. "James-whatever-your-middle-name-is-Potter! What in Merlin's name possessed you to tell me that you gave Vee prank idea's?"
"Then I wouldn't be me, now would I?" James asked, smugly.
"Well, it was not a very nice thing!" I punctuated each word by punching James on the arm.
"Oh Lily," Sirius says, not looking up from his game of Wizard Chess with Remus, "you have to admit that James hasn't been a prat lately."
"We've only been here three days and it's the first day of class," piped up a voice behind me. It was Tessa and Maggie. Tessa and Maggie sit down on the couch opposite from the couch James was sitting. I think Tessa chose that spot because Remus was lying on his stomach playing chess with Sirius between the two couches. I reckon she got a good view of Remus's bum.
"I couldn't believe what those first years today at lunch," I said, not wanting to admit that James hasn't been a prat lately.
"Yeah," Maggie agreed, "I don't see how the only way to be popular is who you know."
Remus, sitting back up after Sirius beat him in chess, says, "Well, it's kind of true."
I look at Tessa and Maggie. They don't have a clue about what Remus meant either. "What I mean is," Remus continues, "who you know isn't the only way to become popular, but it helps, especially if you're pure blood; your surname being around the wizarding community for generations."
"That's another thing I don't get," Maggie says. "What exactly makes you considered 'pure blood'?"
"Well," Sirius starts, "you're half-blood, right Maggie?"
Maggie nods, "My mother is a muggle born."
"Well, if you can count back fifteen generations on both sides of the family, branching out along the way for each grandparent and so on, and find magic in each generation, you are considered pure," Sirius says.
"Complicated and, if you ask me, disturbing," James finishes.
"How is it disturbing," I wanted to know.
"Ok," James says, listing names off his fingers, "Potters, Blacks, Malfoys, Prewetts, and Weasleys are the oldest pure blood families in Britain. If you look at each of our family trees, you can see that we're all inter-related in some way."
"Blacks and Malfoys, seeing how dark and pure blooded they consider themselves," Sirius says, ignoring that he's a Black, "will marry each other's cousins in order to stay pure blood."
"That is disturbing," Maggie says, getting up. "I'm going to dinner. See you guys there."
"I think I'll go too," Sirius says, following Maggie.
I lean over to Tessa, "Is it just me, or does Sirius tends to go where ever Maggie goes?"
"He has a thing for Maggie that goes back to Christmas last year," James says, waving to Veruca and her new friends as they walk by.
"Really, now?" I said.
"Haven't you noticed how quiet Sirius gets when she's around?" Remus asks.
I was not able say anything, because as soon as I opened my mouth, the loudest explosion I ever heard sounded outside the Common Room door.
AN: ahhhhh to all my readers! It really has been too long. I realize, as I read over it, this chapter wasn't as humorous as the first two. But it wasn't really my intention to make this as humorous as it turned out, and that saddens me, cuz all the funniness left my head and I can't think of anything. But I gave ya something to check out anyways.
And for anyone who couldn't figure it out, Trojan is a brand of condoms.