Disclaimer: I don't own PotC… but I do have a clone of Jack! –pats him possessively-
Living The Dream- Chapter Three!- Ducks, Hats, & Braids- Ammie's POV
Ammie here. I'm tired. Jack loves me. Suck it up. :P! –laughs- Okay, maybe Jo has a better chance, but I can add drama!
After playing nearly four hours of tic tac toe, I had been defeated by the hot pirate beginner, Jack Sparrow. I glared at him. "You're no to supposed to beat her, Jack" Josie explained as I continued to glare at him. However, before Jack could respond I spontaneously hollered,
"Let's play a new game" Josie smiled. I knew she was thinking perverted thoughts. I sat down in the corner, forgetting that I had been wearing a Jack Sparrow shirt and tight jeans. Not a good thing for pirating. Jack must be suspicious. I smirked as I pondered the fact of his reading capabilities. "So, who wants to play duck, duck goose?" I asked happily as I did a Cha-Cha kick. Josie jumped up.
"I'm the DUCKIE!" she screamed. Both Jack and I looked at her with confused grins.
"You mean you want to call who's the duck and goose and sparrow and chicken?" I asked being myself. I used my hands to describe everything like Jack. It was kind of strange when I started to do the chicken dance when I said chicken. Josie nodded spastically and pushed Jack onto the floor, across from Ammie. Together we looked like an egg shaped duckie circle. I felt so proud of Josie's artistic skills. Finally, the game began, and Josie hit Jack on the head first. "Sparrow!" she exclaimed happily. Jack looked at me with a sign that he thought Jo was special.
"Isn't she so ingenious?" I asked. I turned back around signalling to Jo that it was now, Ammie-2 and Jo-1. He he. Josie reluctantly hit me next, "GOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I jumped up and ran around the opposite way causing Jo to ram into me.
"YOUR IN THE SPOT!" I hollered. As Jo took her place in the egg shaped circle. I tapped Jack.
"Goose." I muttered lightly in his ear. I ran around the circle, only to find he had done the same thing as me, cheated. Like a pirate! I giggled.
"Bloody Pirate" I noted between fits of laughter.
He smirked, and at the same time as Jo, said, "Thank you very much". Jo smirked at me signalling a tie of two to two. I growled and sat down in the corner, acting as though my ankle was still hurting.
"Ammie, what is wrong with your ankle?" Jo asked me.
"I hurt it." I replied coldly.
"Well no duh!" She yelled throwing her hands up in the air. She turned around and studied Jack.
"Liking the view luv."
"Dude, I was just looking at the bone in your hair. I should call you bam bam."
"Any special reason why?" Jack smirked. Josie looked at him confused but then her eyes went wide.
"PERVERTED PIRATE!" She yelled. I snickered and looked around the hellhole we were going to be in. The floor was covered in dust and hay. There was water, or fluids, that I didn't want to touch. God only knows how they got there. The cells were strong, cause they were made by Will.
"Hey, misses." Someone whispered from behind me.
"Yes."
"How would ye and yer friend like ta be boarded?" He said loudly. I looked at him confused.
"NEVER!" Josie screamed. "YOU SHALL NEVER TOUCH THIS BODY AS LONG AS I HAVE THIS IN MY NOSE!" She said referring to her piercing.
"Fine luv, but take it easy." The pirate looked at Jack. "May God be wif ye as yer in here with them tonight."
"Go bite the weenie." I muttered.
"With relish." Josie said. "I have an idea!" She added turning around and facing Jack.
"What!" I asked nervously. Her ideas always ended up in us getting in trouble.
"Chinese horoscopes."
"You don't know how to do them."
"Yeah I do!" Josie said defensively. "Remember that homeless guy that said my socks were possessed by demons? Well, he taught me how."
"Do you always talk to the homeless?" I asked.
"Hey! They may be poor, smelly and weird but we have one quality in common!"
"Smelly?"
"No! Weird…if they want a smelly friend, I'll tell them about you!" I frowned and Jack snickered.
"Do ye always fight?"
"Nope. Sometimes we do." I answered.
"Back to the horoscopes! Jack, what year were you born?" Jo asked him.
"1685." He replied.
"You were born in the year of the ox! Jack, you're an ox!"
"Ox's are tough lasses." Jack smiled leaning back on the wall.
"You are a born leader."
"Sounds like me." Jack smirked looking at Josie.
"You inspire confidence in others."
"I ain't sure about that."
"You are conservative, methodical and stubborn, and they speak little. Nah, Jack talks a lot." Josie finished.
"Wha' about ye luv?"
"I, sir, am a goat. I got attacked by goats before…AND DEER!"
"You did!" I asked.
"Yep, at African Lion Safari…my dad had to run out carrying me." Josie said drifting off to her memories. "Good times."
"What about me?" I asked.
"You are a goat too!" She laughed.
"When were ye lasses born?" Jack asked.
"1991." Josie smiled.
"Tha' is not possible."
"Not probable. Anything's possible." Josie smiled. Jack grinned at her and then put his head down. Josie held up three fingers and I chuckled. Competitive.
"What about that eunuch?" I asked.
"Oh, Will." Josie said. I laughed. "Well, he's our age 18 so, he was born in…AMMIE! Use your math skills I suck at math."
"Ok, well it's 1720 so 1720 minus 18 is…1702!"
"Ok then he is a horse!"
"A horse? Isn't that what the future Mrs. Jack Sparrow is?"
"Yepers! So dear William is hard working, cheerful, popular, skilful with money and very independent. He can also be egotistical, impatient and hot-blooded."
"Ha, Will is impatient."
"Do ye lasses have a thing for this Dear William?" Jack asked. Did I detect a hint of jealousy?
"Oh yes, we want to bang him." Josie told him winking at me. I played along.
"I already have." Jack looked at us with wide eyes.
"Was he good?"
"Oh hell yes. Best I've ever had."
"I'm a virgin." Josie stated proudly. I was too.
"Want me ta change tha' luv?" Jack whispered in her ear.
"Oh shit son." Josie whimpered. "Not anytime soon but, if I do you will be the first one I call. Savvy?"
"Savvy." Jack smiled and sat back down.
"He came on to you." I whispered to her.
"I know…it was weird, but wonderful." She smiled. I frowned but chuckled.
"Come 'ere doggy." Someone said from behind us.
"Ye can keep doing that forever tha dog is never going to move." Jack muttered. Josie and I looked at him and GOD, he looked sexy! Josie sat down at the cage and stared at the bench just outside that was going to let us escape. Several minutes passed.
I smirked and shifted around in the window pane. I knew what was going to happen next! Yay! I was pumped.
"Hey, Jack?" I asked to foil the silence of the cells.
"Aye, love?" he responded sleepily. God, that was sexy.
"I didn't really shag Will, you know" I muttered.
He smirked that wide, teeth baring grin to me.
"I didn't think so" he muttered.
I glanced over to Josie who was sleeping by the cell's opening.
"Jack, what are you going to do when you get you ship back?" I asked.
"Sail the world freely, that's wha' a ship is you know, love. It's not the keel, the hull, the sails, or the rudders, that's what a ship is. What a ship means, what the Black Pearl really means..." he paused as though to savour the words.
"Is freedom" I muttered, allowing myself to shiver. Whether it was from the sight of Jack looking at me with content or the chilliness of the night, I didn't know.
Jack nodded and signalled for me to come closer to him. I stood up and sleepily swayed towards him. I sat down, looking at him with confusion.
"I'm not going to do anything love" he muttered. I smiled. He was a better man than we gave him credit for.
He put his arm around me and suddenly, I got a lot warmer.
"Jack, you know Kohler and his friend?"
He nodded with confusion.
"Well..." I started, but I was interrupted by the sound of cannon fire. I motioned towards the window.
"Here come the gits now"
Jack raised his eyebrow.
"So, you are really from the future?" he asked.
Josie jumped up and said, "Bloody Brits, stole my cheese"
"Err... Jo?" I asked unsure of myself, "You there?"
She twitched and Jack and I jumped back in defence.
"uhh... Yeah, just a little nightmare, that's all!" Jo said happily.
Jack looked at me with a grin.
"Uhh... Ams?" Jo said with a smile and she pointed towards the speeding cannonball coming towards Jack and I.
"Oh, Shizit!" I hollered and Jack jumped, throwing me to the ground with him. It was a very strange position. He was nearly straddling me.
"Uhh... Jack?" I asked trying to be nice, "Thanks and all, but, you're squashing my boob"
"Oh, sorry, love..." he said as he stood and looked over to the window, and walked towards it.
"You're not going to fit, Captain" said a voice from the other cell, "Rotten Luck"
Jack glared at him in disgust before walking back over to me. I was now sitting on the ground, waving the bone, trying to coax the dog over to us.
"I shall name him... Moony!" I exclaimed happily.
Jack looked at me strangely.
"I thought you wanted to keep your virginity?"
Jo gaped and mouthed, "You always have to win".
I shrugged at Jo, trying to ignore Jack's comment, but Jack took the shrug as a suggestion.
"So you don't then, love?" he questioned.
I looked back at him as the dog ran away at the sound of his comment.
"5, 4, 3, 2..." I started to count the seconds before the under bathed pirates arrived.
Jo, Jack, and I all dived on the floor pretending to be dead as Barbossa's minions entered.
"This ain't the armoury." one said. I sniggered, but Jack took his hand up to my mouth to silence me.
God, even when he was dead, he was hot.
"Good observation." Josie smiled lying on her back and looking at them.
"Who are ye?"
"That is a damn good question!"
"Just answer it or we'll kill you."
"Oh, I'd like to see you try." Josie said standing up and making up weird kung-fo moves. Kohler pulled out his gun and shot Josie except she didn't die.
"Luv, can ye be more careful?" Jack asked lying on top of her.
"Careful? What does that mean?"
"Sparrow...she's yer perfect match. Annoying, mouthy and beautiful." Kohler laughed. Jack smiled.
"AMS! He just called Jack beautiful!"
"HOMO PIRATE!" I chanted. Kohler's eyes went wide and so did Jacks.
"No! When I said beautiful I wasn't talkin' about that godless son-of-a-bitch."
"Sure...homo." I chuckled. Kohler looked around and smirked.
"Jack, yer fortunes 'aven't improved much, 'ave they?" Twiggy smiled.
"Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen." Jack said putting his hands on either side of Josie and lifting himself up just a bit. He was still lying on her but I don't think she minded much. "The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers." Kohler angrily shoved his hand through the bars and wrapped it around Jack's throat. His hand went from fleshy to a rotten skeletal hand.
"You know nothing of hell." He whispered dangerously.
"Ouch." Josie moaned. Jack's hand was pressed on her stomach.
"So there is a curse, that's interestin'." Kohler through Jack back and growled. They both took of and ran up the stairs.
"Yeah, that's it run...cowards." Josie gasped in pain.
"Sorry luv!" Jack apologized taking his hand off her and rolling beside her.
"JACK! You saved me! Thanks a bunch." She smiled patting him on the shoulder. "I'd hug you but you're sitting down." Jack shot up like a bullet and smiled.
"Hug?" He asked. Josie laughed and gave him a hug. Jack smiled and she let go of him.
"Ammie needs a hug. Go hug her Jack." He looked over at me and hugged me. IT WAS AWESOME!
"So?" Jack asked letting go of me. "What are we going to do now?"
"WAIT FOR DEAR WILLIAM!" Josie announced.
"Ah, your lover boy." Jack growled.
"Let's get this straight bub." Josie began to poke Jack in the stomach. "We don't like Dear William that way."
"Ye both don't?" Jack asked.
"Nope." I smiled.
"Good...then let's go to sleep." Jack smiled falling to the floor.
"Cool...I wanna try that." Josie said standing up and falling again. "OUCH!"
"Luv, yer an idiot."
"Dude, that's what my fifth grade teacher told me."
"SLEEP!" I yelled and laid down on the other side of Jack.
I woke up to Jack cursing and growling in frustration.
"Jack, what on earth are you trying to do?" I asked him. He turned around and glared at me.
"Trying to open it what does it look like?"
"Ooo...touchy." I murmured. He snapped his head back and I heard Will coming down.
"Are you familiar with that ship? The Black Pearl?" Will asked as soon as he came up to the bars.
"You know when you see someone you're supposed to say HELLO first." Josie yelled into the ground. She looked up and her face was smeared with dirt and blood. Jack's face looked the same. I could only imagine what I looked like.
"Hello." He smiled at Josie. "Now answer my question Sparrow."
"Somewhat." Jack answered lying down in the cell.
"Where does it make berth?" Will asked. I snorted.
"Surely you've heard the stories? The Black Pearl sails from the dreaded Isla de Muerta... an island that cannot be found -- except by those who already know where it is." Jack said.
"The ship's real enough. So its anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?"
"Why ask me?"
"Cause you're a pirate!"
"And you want to turn pirate yourself?" Jack sneered.
"Never!" Will growled.
"I WANT TO TURN PIRATE!" Josie yelled. "Wait, I already am one. Ha, silly me." Jack shook his head and turned back to Will.
"They took Miss Swann." Josie and I groaned.
"So it is that you've found a girl!" Jack shouted excitedly and sat up. "Well, if you're intending to brave all and hasten to her rescue and so win fair lady's heart, you'll have to do it alone. I see no profit in it for me."
"I can get you out of here." Will smirked.
"How's that? They keys have run off." Jack asked in confusion.
"These are half-pin barrel hinges. With the right leverage and proper application of strength..." Will picked up a bench and wedged it into the bars. "They door will lift free."
"Your name is Turner." Jack suddenly said.
"Yes." Will said surprised. "Will Turner."
"I know that. These lovely lasses talk about you non stop." Will looked at us and we smiled innocently. Josie used sign language to tell him Jack was nuts and he chuckled. Jack spun around and Jo smiled at him sweetly.
"Well," Jack began standing up. "I've changed my mind. You spring me from this cell, and on pain of death, I'll you to the Black Pearl. Do we have an accord?" Jack finished. Will looked at him suspiciously before agreeing.
"Agreed." Will said softly.
"Agreed!" Jack shouted. "Now, get us out of here."
"BOAT TRIP TIME!" Jo and I yelled.
"What makes ye lasses think yer coming?" Jack asked.
"Dude! We know we are coming." I told him.
"If you don't let us...I will castrate you." Josie smiled. Jack's eyes went wide.
"Fine...but stay away from...well, Jack junior. Unless..."
"I'LL STAY AWAY FROM IT!" Jo yelled. We all laughed and Will opened the cell.
"Let's go, someone would have heard that."
"Not without his affects." I said.
"Exactly." Jack said running over to them and picking them up.
"Can I wear your hat Jack?" Josie asked sweetly. Jack looked at Josie and then at the hat. He thought it over for a minute and then smiled.
"Sure luv." He handed her the hat and she plopped it on her head.
"Josie, go!" I yelled pushing her up the stairs.
"Hey, ye don't boss the pirate around mate." She smiled in a surprisingly, VERY, good pirate voice.
"Woah, you're getting better."
"Thanks mate."
…o0o…
"This girl...how far are ye willin' ta go fer her?" Jack asked Will.
"I'd die for her." Will yelled.
"Oh good, no worries then." Jack smiled.
"LOOKIE! A canoe...let's use that as an escape." I announced.
"Brilliant idea luv." Jack smiled. We crept over to the canoe and went under it.
"Can we move now?" I asked.
"No lass." Jack growled.
"Knees are cramping up." Josie frowned.
"Now." Jack whispered. We went into the ocean and Josie shouted.
"COLD!"
"LUV! QUIET!" Jack yelled.
"Speak for yerself." She muttered in her pirate voice. We climbed up the side of the ship and Jo and I were the fastest. Years of climbing fences in hide and seek come in handy.
"Took ye long enough." Josie smirked as Will and Jack emerged.
"Shut up." Jack groaned. He ran over to the stairs.
"Everyone stay come we are taking over this ship!" Gillette and his cronies turned around and faced us.
"Aye! Avast." Everyone laughed.
"What a nerdo." I muttered to Josie. She nodded.
"This ship cannot be crewed by two men and two ladies. You'll never make it out of the bay."
"Firstly, I am no lady." Josie smiled from beside Jack. "And secondly, ye forgot one very important thing luv, he is Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack nodded and cocked his gun. I walked up to Gillette and whispered something in his ear. His eyes grew wide and he jumped off the ship.
I giggled.
"Never knew telling a gay man that I would castrate him would be so effective"
Josie looked at me and burst into laughter.
I looked up at Jack, "So, we're switching ships, eh?"
He looked at me shocked.
"How does she do tha'?" he asked Jo. She shrugged with pleasure.
"Hey, Jack, shouldn't we disable the rudder chains?"
He nodded and started to do so.
I assisted, leaving Jo along with the love struck puppy.
"So, Jack, later, will you do my hair like yours?" I spastically asked.
"Tha' would be sexy, love" he noted as he disabled the las' chain.
"Tha' it woul'" I muttered.
He smirked.
"So you like my hair, eh?"
I blushed at a alarming rate. Thank Bootstrap though, Josie called Jack and I over.
"Here comes the Interceptor!" she yelled. I busted out in laughter.
"What, Squacker?" Jo asked.
"It's a crappy name for a ship, and tha's a crappy nickname for me"
Will shrugged.
"Not half as bad as 'eunuch'"
"A rather good point made by Mr. Turner" noted Jack as he signalled for us to follow him in swinging onto the other ship, leaving the lobsters behind.
"STUPID BLOODY LOBSTERS!" Jo and I shouted at the same time as we landed on the Interceptor and watched the men chop off the ropes.
Jack smirked.
"Lobsters?"
"Yes, my good man LOBSTERS!" Jo yelled.
"We make up weird nicknames."
"I can see that." Jack said.
"Mine for you Jack is...Sir DrinksAlot." Jo smiled.
"That's perfect!" I praised.
"I don't drink tha' much."
"Wait until we hit the island." Jo whispered a bit loudly.
"What island?" Jack asked.
"No island." I said quickly.
"The island full of rum." Jo smiled thinking of all that rum. She loves her rum as much as Jack does.
"WHAT?" Jack smiled.
"Yep, but sadly...it will be burned." Josie whimpered.
"Why is the rum gone?"
"You shall find out soon enough young squier." I muttered.
"Miss Ammie...could you help me for a moment?" Will asked.
"Sure." I smiled. I dreaded leaving Jack and Jo alone but, eh, what the hell could happen?
"I need you to help me cut off the ropes and fix the sails. It won't take long."
"Of course, Will." I got to work and luckily, I could hear everything Jack and Josie were saying.
"So, when I got out of the 'horde of the evil teachers' I went right up the man we call 'principal' and poured a very sticky substance all over his lap. I got another detention for that...oh, and detention is when you have to stay in an evil room doing nothing but, I escaped under the watchful eyes of Mrs. EatsAlot Enskitas." Jo smiled. "She ran after me but I dropped a banana peel and she fell in front of all my friends and they laughed at her."
"Yer a troublemaker aren't ye?" Jack smirked looking Josie up and down. She turned around and faced him.
"Hell yes. Life is no fun if you act good all the time."
"That's what I think. Ye know, when a lass makes trouble that is very sexy ta me." He walked over to Josie and draped his hand over her waist.
"You know what's sexy to me?"
"What luv?" Jack whispered in her ear.
"Things that are shiny...and your HAT!" She smiled shifting it to the side.
"Ye know, I usually don't let anyone touch me hat but yer the one and only...savvy?"
"Not even Ammie!" She asked happily. 'I'm gonna kill her' I thought.
"Nope, I'm going ta braid her hair. She gets the braids and ye get tha hat."
"AYE, AYE!"
"It looks incredible on ye." Jack stated looking at her.
"Likewise." She smiled. "NOW! What was the worse thing ye have done?" She added.
"This." He replied stroking the ships wheel. "Stealing a ship, having the navy after me, threatening that Swann girl."
"Oh. I once put laxatives in my cousin's cookies and locked the bathroom door." Jack looked at her confused.
"Oh, laxatives are a liquid that makes you go crap and you can't hold it in. He crapped his pants...good times." Jack grinned.
"I'm starting ta like ye and yer troublemakin' ways." I frowned. "And Ammie is spectacular...lovely lass, sharp tongue."
"Well, I'll say thank you from both of us." She said with her hands flying about. Crazy Italian loser, her hands were always moving and not purposely.
"Now, we are almost to Tortuga."
"YES! HIGH HO SILVER!" Josie yelled galloping around Jack.
"Lass! Calm yerself."
"I can't...I WANT RUM!"
"Ye like rum?"
"HELL YES! I had some when I was ten and I couldn't stop thinking about it."
"When ye were ten? Yer parents let ye?"
"Well, not exactly." Jack laughed.
"I'll buy ye one...savvy?"
"SAVVY!" Josie looked up and waved. "AMMIE! HOWS THE VIEW?"
"Kick ass!" I replied and climbed down the netting.
"I want carbon based beverage." Jo frowned.
"Oh yeah, well I want a educational book to read." We looked at each other and screamed. Josie fell to the floor and sobbed. Jack and Will came over alarmed.
"What? What happened? Who got shot, who's dead?" Jack screamed. I hit him.
"Get a hold of yourself man!"
"Ammie, we need sugar." Jo cried.
"I know." I said starting to cry myself.
"Hold me." Jo sobbed. I hugged her and so did Will.
"Thanks dudes."
"Ye need sugar? There is plenty downstairs!" Jack said. Josie looked up at him and pushed me and Will aside.
"SUGAR!" She yelled.
"I am coming for you and your succulent taste." I shouted running after her.
"What 'ave we gotten ourselves into?" Jack asked.
Down below, the search for sugar began.
"JACK!" I called as Jo continued searching. I was lazy, what could I say, I need some Jack time.
"Aye, love?" he asked as he climbed down the stairs in panic.
"Where's the sugar?" I asked innocently as I sat down on a rum barrel. I loved rum, so I patted it with content. "My precious" I whispered.
"It's in the galley. And since when do you like rum?" he said with shock in his voice. What did he think I was- proper? The mere thought of that word made me shudder.
"Since forever, where'd you think Josie and I stole it from, Norrington?" I exaggerated happily.
Jack chuckled.
"Where'd you steal it, love?" he asked.
I smiled.
"We borrowed it from my parent's stash. My Dad was an alcoholic before he died so yeah..."
Josie stormed into the room.
"SUGAR!" she shouted.
I ran towards it and stuffed a handful in my mouth.
"Yum."
Jack looked at us awkwardly. Apparently, sugar eating of these sorts was not customary. I giggled.
"Want some, Jack?" I asked.
He reluctantly shook his head.
I shrugged, "More fer me".
Jo looked at Jack and stood up. I did the same.
"Hey Jack, will you braid my hair now?" I pestered trying to annoy Jo.
"I wanna watch!" Jo shouted. I groaned, my plan had back fired.
"Alright luv, but we hafta hurry." Jack said pulling my hair.
"OUCH!" I grimaced.
"You pulled her hair man!" Jo mumbled. Her head was in the bag of sugar and she was downing it like rum.
"Sorry luv." Jack said as I moaned in pain.
"It's ok...just braid." He smiled and began to braid my hair and may I add he did it very fast.
"You need hair like mine, Ams." Jo said taking her head out of the bag. Her hair was covered in grains of sugar. She shook her hair and they fell out.
"Why?" I asked.
"Cause, when people pull my hair, it doesn't hurt."
"Tha' is a lie." Jack said.
"It's not." I said. "I tried to pull her hair really hard once, and some of it came out but it didn't hurt." Jack looked at Jo like she was some kind of super hero.
"Call me superwoman." She smiled. Dude, it was like she was reading my mind. "OR! Call me...Captain Duckula."
"I think I'll call ye...Jo." Jack purred.
"I WANNA BE CALLED AMS OR AMMIE!"
"I think I'll call ye Ammie."
"Goodie." I smiled.
"JACK!" Will yelled. "We are there."
"Sorry lass. Yer going to have to go out like that." I looked into a rum bottle and groaned. Half of my hair was braided and the other half was down. Josie looked over at me and began to laugh.
"Jo, gimme that hat." I said. She put her hands on it protectively.
"Jack said only I get to wear it so...BOOGERS!" She yelled happily. I turned and looked at Jack.
"Sorry lass." He walked up on deck and I frowned. Josie threw her arm around me and walked me up on deck.
"Think of it this way...you are making a fashion statement." I smiled.
"Thanks. And watch tha' hat. It'll take only one opportune momen' fer me to get it."
Thanks for reviewing, mates. Jack says thank you from the… ooh Jo's not supposed to know tha'. I say thanks. –coughcough- Well, REVIEW!
Ams out!