Disclaimer: Maybe I do own Pirates, maybe I am Walt Disney, and maybe I am Jack Sparrow's strumpet. DAMMIT, I wish I was.
Living The Dream- Chapter Four- Rum, Getting Drunk and Fights- Jo's POV
Jo is in the house! I am so hyper right now. Jack, loves me, see Ammie admitted it. Pfft, Ams has a better chance. I am WAYY to weird.
A/N: Ams and I are SO happy that we got lot's of reviews. Thank you all and here's the next chappie.
"Ha, the day you get this hat is the day Portugal wins the world cup." I said covering the hat with my hands.
"Are ye coming?" Jack asked walking past us.
"No, we are going to wait here and let some man take advantage of us...of course we are coming." Ammie said sarcastically.
"Dumbass." I muttered. Ammie and I walked ahead of them.
"They have sharp tongues." Will told Jack.
"Damn straight!" I yelled happily.
"Ahh...Tortuga." Ammie smiled looking around. I could hear singing about the lights, the pulse, and the beat. Stupid Broadway singer. A drunk man reached toward both Ammie and I. I lunged at him.
"Touch me, you eat sand" I hissed. Ammie looked over to me in fear.
"Tha' was a good threat" she muttered so the man could hear.
"It was a promise". Ammie nodded and nearly too happily ran over to where Jack was.
"Howdy, Captain", She hollered. Jack smirked.
"At least she can get the title right." He complained to Will. I walked in between Will and Jack and looked around confused.
"Captain? I see no Captain." Jack frowned.
"Saucy tart." He grabbed a bucket, filled it with water, and thrust it into my hands. "Here. Ye'll need this."
"OH GOODIE! Let's go wake up piggy man!"
"Piggy man!" Ammie asked. "You make up the worst nicknames."
"Shut up...squawker." I said sticking my tongue out at her. We walked for what seemed like ages until we finally came close. I KNEW that because I could hear the pigs oinking.
"Oink oink." I smiled lifting the bridge of my nose up. I snorted.
"Lass. Tell me tha' truth. Were ye dropped at birth."
"As a matter of fact, I was!" I smiled proudly. I knocked on my head and the sound made the impression that my head was hollow. Ammie rolled her eyes pointedly.
"And you're trusting her with your hat and your crew gatherin' dude!" She exclaimed. Jack looked at me in a strange way.
"How do you know all this stuff?" He asked Ammie. She smirked in a way similar to his.
"We think in very similar ways, Captain Sparrow, now be careful, the whores may soon come and attack" I smiled and pointed at Scarlet.
"Speaking of the prostitute."
"Scarlet." Jack exclaimed swaying over to her. There was a loud whack and Jack's head spun back.
"Not sure I deserved tha'." He whimpered.
"Jack, here comes round 2. Just please, I know it's difficult but don't SAY anything...stupid." I told Jack. Jack looked at Ammie.
"Aren't ye supposed ta say tha'?"
"Meh. She knows little bits of what may occur." Ammie shrugged.
"Giselle."
"Who was she?" Giselle said haughtily.
"What?" Another loud whack followed Jack's head spinning backwards.
"Twas the attack of the mother ship of whores." I said laughing at Jack.
"Ha, I'm amazed they didn't..." Ammie snorted. "…probe Jack." Ammie laughed as she pointed at Jack.
"Ye two, I don't know why I agreed ta let ye come." Jack sighed. "Here, this way."
"This is like James Bond." Ammie smiled pretending to make a gun with her hands. I sang the theme song as she ran ahead.
"See Jack, she's nuts too."
"Aye. But, ye are...crazy." Jack smiled.
"If you are trying to get me back for pissing you off...it ain't gonna work." I gave him a matter-o'-fact smile.
"Well, I try 'arder next time then, eh?" Jack said facing me.
"You can try." I smiled. I huffed and walked away. "It won't work though." Ha! Ew, I'm playing hard to get. ACK!
"Lass, give me tha' bucket."
"She already threw the water at him." Ammie said pointing at Gibbs.
"Dang blast! Ye slacked jawed idiot I'll...Jack?" Gibbs smiled at Jack. "Tis bad luck ta wake a man when he's sleepin'."
"Well, fortunately I know how ta counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping listens to a proposition from the man who did the waking." Gibbs looked at Jack in a very confused manner.
"God, you listen to him as he buys you a drink!" Ammie yelled angrily.
"Good job, Ams." I smiled giving her a high five. "HEY! Wait a minute, I am the one who woke him up. So, I deserve bloody rum too!"
"Nah, ye don't."
"You owe us both one." Ammie smirked. Jack looked at us and frowned.
"Fine, get yer arse going then." Jack yelled angrily.
"What an ass." Ammie and I muttered. We walked away without them and soon we were lost.
"Ams, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."
"Thanks for telling me that, Toto." We were all alone and in the worst place possible. Tortuga.
"This is your fault, I said 'Let's ask that man where to go' But, nooo, we had to keep walking." Ammie yelled angrily.
"DUDE, that man had his sword out and he was fighting a damn statue! If he was going to direct us in any direction it would either be to HIS room or to DEATH!" I yelled spastically with my hands flying everywhere. "I have an idea, one time when I got lost at Wonderland they paged the park. Let's..."
"This is the 1700's do you think they have that technology?" Ammie seethed.
"Oh...I forgot." Ammie shrugged.
"I miss my movie" she whined. I nodded as if in agreement.
"But we get rum" I argued.
"A valuable point." Ammie muttered as she entered the tavern. The Faithful Bride. How ironic for pirates.
"JACK! I want my RUM man!" I called happily as she sat down at Jack's table. Ammie laughed and sat with me.
"ME TOO!" she hollered. The noise in the Tavern faded for a moment and I laughed maniacally. A bar maid was frightened and quickly (though reluctanty) gave the us our drinks. She also gave Gibbs and Jack theirs as we sat down with them. Ammie laughed at Will.
"He's under loved" She whispered to me. I nodded and took a long drink of rum. Ammie did the same. However, alcohol had a bigger effect on Ammie than it did on me. She jumped on the table, and began to sing and dance:
"Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe.
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
And many miles be still to go
But under a tall tree I will lie,
And let the clouds go sailing by!"
Jack looked at Ammie in shock. "Since when do you do tha'?" he asked. Ammie looked at her half braided hair and shrugged.
"Since always, I tend to get spazzy around alcohol." I giggled at her.
"I like hobbits." I muttered, "But, Aragorn is dead sexy, but hobbits kick ass."
"What are hobbits, Ammie?" asked Jack, afraid of me.
"They are like munchkins and midgets! But BETTER!" she shouted, "Though, not better than you." She was confusing herself.
"Listen Jack, to make it simpler, do you know a little guy named Marty?" I asked leaning onto Jack for support.
"Aye." Jack said snaking his arm around my waist. I paid no never mind to it.
"Well, midgets are those guys. Cute little buggers." Ammie smiled.
"WILLY!" I screamed. He looked over at me and smiled.
"Yes Miss. Borsellino." He asked walking over to me.
"Dammit man, you are too formal. Call me Jo."
"I'd rather not."
"If you value life and limb you will dammit!" I shouted.
"Do not cross paths with her dude." Ammie said staring at Jack's hand which was currently around my waist. Jack smiled and snaked his arm around her's as well. That shut her up.
"Ams, I'm bored let's go weird."
"Nope. I wanna stay here."
"Ammie..." Suddenly, Jack took my rum and chugged it.
"Thanks lass." Jack smiled.
"No rum and no weirdness make Jo go something...something..." I whispered angrily.
"Crazy?" Ammie asked.
"DONT MIND IF I DO!" I shouted and ran out of the tavern. "WHHHHOOOOOTTT! BE BACK LATER ALLIGATORS!"
"Lass. Get back 'ere. Ye don't know what some crazy fool will do to ye." Jack groaned running after me.
"I'll come...if you can catch me." I said running.
"Yer on." Jack growled. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jack catching up to me. I spun around the corner and bumped into someone.
"Watch where yer goin' ye bloody whore." The man said slapping me. My head spun back and I glared at the man. The ring on his finger had made a gash on my cheek. Jack came around and looked at the man and then at me.
"Why did ye do ta her?" Jack asked, frowning as he saw the big gash. It went from my chin to a little bit under my eye.
"The bloody whore ran into me."
"Firstly, you arrogant ass, I am no whore." I said poking him in the chest. "And secondly, don't ever slap me again." I turned around, trying to walk away but Jack grabbed my hand.
"Not so fast." He traced the cut with his fingers and sighed. "Yer alright."
"She's lucky cause if I ever see her again I'll slap 'er so 'ard she won't be able ta mouth off ta me again."
"BRING IT ON OLD FART!" I yelled. "Ima gangsta so I can kick yo ass fool. YO i'm on tha floor doin tha grinder. So yell it HO HO HO YOOOOOO." I screamed and made up some weird kung-fo moves. The bastard hit me. I hissed in pain and tried as hard as I could to hold back the tears that were gonna pour out.
"Tha is it fool. Yo gonna learn tha meanin' of pain bitch." I said kicking him in the gut. Jack just sat there, watching in amusement that is, until I got backhanded.
"Enough." Jack growled holding his cutlass to the guy's throat. That was fast.
"Geez Sparrow."
"No one, no one, hits a lass in my prescence, even if she is a bit crazy...savvy?" Jack asked.
"Savvy." The man gasped and ran away as Jack put his sword away.
"Stop hatin', start participatin'. Come on, twinkle twinkle, baby, twinkle twinkle. Wanna take a shot at me kid? Do it." I said. The guy turned around and looked at me. I gulped. "I'm just sayin' if that's what this is gonna be, it's gonna be that." The guy huffed, and walked away.
"Ye ok?"
"Huh, oh yeah, never been better." I said sarcastically.
"Come on ye tough lass. I'll clean ye up."
"It hurts like a bitch." I laughed as a few tears escaped my eyes. It really did hurt. I've gotten into other fights but not with UGLY MEN!
"Ye got ta watch yer sharp tongue." Jack scolded.
"You, sir, sound like my ma." I told him.
"What happened to her?"
"She is back in the land of fangirls."
"Ah. The future."
"So, you finally believe us?" I teased. "Took you long enough, you codfish."
"Aye, Ammie told me and unlike ye, I can believe her."
"Ha! I may be weird and crazy but I'll tell you one thing...I'm a nut job and insecure."
"A tough lass like ye? I don't believe ye." Jack scoffed sarcastically.
"No, honestly." I whispered. "In school, I wasn't the best looking and when you hear that from kids...it's not exactly wonderful."
"Well, if it means anything, I think yer beautiful." I smiled.
"IT MEANS A LOT!" Jack looked at me with a big smirk on his face. "I mean, that's cool bitch."
"Come on, in the tavern we go." He said leading my over to the table.
:x:x:MCR:x:x:
"...yep. And then one time, I chased a squirrel and ended up running into a pole." Ammie said. She picked up her mug and began drinking it.
"There's Jack." Will muttered. Ammie looked up and spit her rum out.
"JESUS! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Ammie asked, and amazingly, she sounded concerned. Concerned a word meaning: worried about someone. Which Ammie rarely was.
"She got in a fight with a large man." Jack said asking the bar maid for some rum and a rag.
"Yo Ams, that fool was trippin'." I said angrily.
"Oh God, here we go with the gangsta talk."
"I'm from da ghetto. Expect it and accept it."
"You should give some respect to older people." Will said.
"I don't give respect."
"Mad respect for not giving respect. I feel dat." I said giving Ammie props.
"That's a nasty gash." Will said running his finger across it.
"True dat."
"Here you are Jack." The bar maid giggled.
"Thank ye lass." Jack said giving her bottom a squeeze.
"Playa." I muttered. "OUCH!" I yelled as Jack applied the rum to my cut.
"Do ye want yer pretty face ta get infected?" Jack asked.
"No." I smiled. "Thanks Jack, for everything."
"Can someone explain?" Ammie asked looking at me and Jack. I explained it all again and added how I told Jack about my insecurity.
"Oh." Ammie said softly. "Kids can be so cruel."
"True dat mah sista." I hissed as Jack dabbed the cut.
"There we go." Jack smiled admiring his work.
"Oh...he's good." Ams said looking at my pink cut.
"It still hurts, and now my head does!" I groaned. HANGOVER ALREADY!
"Let's go sleep somewhere." Will said helping me up.
"Thanks Willy. You are a good mofo."
"Um..."
"Take it as a compliment." Ammie told him.
"Listen ta her bro."
"I got us a room wif two beds." Jack said. "But, to be on the safe side I think each man should sleep wif a woman."
"No." Ammie and I said in unison.
"I am not sleeping wif a man lasses."
"I am not sleeping with a man misses." Will said politely.
"Well, one of us has the floor."
:x:x:MCR:x:x:
Don't ask HOW it happened and don't ask WHY it happened. Will had a bed to himself and Jack was sharing with us both.
"Jack, we can't fit!" Ammie yelled.
"It appears that yer right. Someone has to get off."
"I CALL THE BED!" I shouted spastically.
"Fine." Ammie whispered crawling on the floor with tears in her eyes. I rolled my eyes...drama queen.
"Lass, why are ye crying?" Jack asked Ammie.
"Aw, Peter Pan moment." I smiled watching them.
"I'm not..." Ammie sniffed.
"There is room for three." Jack stated pulling her up.
"Ammie, we need to talk." I grinned pulling her off the bed and we walked down the hallway.
"Why the shit were you crying biznatch?" I asked her.
"Just...kinda missing the future."
"Oh...I feel dat. Don't worry, somehow, we will get back there." I smiled trying to cheer her up. "Hmmm...nice door." I added opening it. I immediately regretted that decision. There was the bastard who hit me with a whore...GETTING THERE FREAK ON!
"MY EYES!" I screeched.
"Oh God...MY EARS!" Ammie yelled running down the hall. I ran in the room and slammed the door shut.
"EYES...I am scarred for life bitches. Damn, those fools were like tha friking energizer bunnies." I whispered. "Oh...I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Wha' happened?" Jack asked Ammie.
"Walked...in...having...sex." Ammie muttered rocking back in forth on the bed.
"Lass..." Jack laughed looking at me trying to puke. "Haven't ye had sex before?" I gagged.
"PROUD VIRGIN RIGHT HERE!" Ammie and I yelled.
"Ye know...Dear Will and I could change that." Will, Ammie and I stared at Jack in disgust.
"Ok, touch us and die." Ammie stated glaring at Jack.
"I won't go near you ladies." Will said.
"Go Will." I smiled. Jack frowned and flopped down on the bed. We stared at him until he spoke.
"Fine then, git on tha bed and sleep lasses." He said angrily.
"Oh, someone has PMS!" Ammie yelled infuriated. She got up and jumped down on the bed causing Jack to move near the edge.
"Mhmm, ok, fine be angry at us because WE WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU!" I yelled jumping on the bed and pushing Jack off.
Ammie glared at Josie. "Tha' wasn't very nice" she quoted. Jack glared at us as he climbed on the bed again. I laughed evilly. I rolled over and faced Ammie.
"Why the shit are you sticking up for him?" I asked. She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
"He is Captain Jack Sparrow."
"Aye, tha' I am." Jack said smiling. I groaned.
"Well, ya don't hafta go evil on me man." I said.
"You were mean to Jack."
"You were mean to me!"
"So..." She hissed. I got of the bed and stared at her.
"Dear Ammie..." I said. "You are a bitch. Love Jo."
"Yer a strange lass." Jack chuckled.
"Damn straight!" I screamed furiously and walked out the door. I opened it once more, huffed, and slammed it.
"Stupid Jack, stupid Ammie...only nice one is Will." I muttered to myself. I walked down the stairs and into the pub. "Tha' wasn't very nice...WELL HE WASN'T VERY NICE!"
"Are ye alright lass?" Someone said from behind. I spun around and looked at the man. He was wearing a big black hat, and pretty much the same outfit as Jack. But, he had the most mesmerizing eyes. One was blue and one was green. His black hair fell out from underneath his hat; it was like Gerard Way's hair. Mmm…Gerard. He also had a wonderful smile.
"I've been better." I groaned still looking him in the eye. He chuckled.
"Would you like ta tell me about it?" He asked. "I'll buy ye a rum."
"Sure." I nodded. He pulled me towards a table and sat down.
"So, what happened?" He asked smiling. A bar maid came over and he ordered two rums.
"Ok, firstly, ever since I got here it's been...weird! I got sucked in a t.v, got thrown in jail, got beat up by a man, saw two people having sex..." I shuddered. "...and to top it all off, I got the almighty Captain Jack Sparrow furious with me." I said a bit sarcastically. 'Almight Captain Jack Sparrow? Pfft...I think Captain Hook, Captain Morgan and Captain Underpants are more almighty then him.
"Jack Sparrow?" He laughed. "He ain't one ta be fighting wif." The bar maid brought us our drinks and I downed it.
"Um, another." He said.
"I have been fighting and arguing with him for quite some time..."
: Meanwhile :
"God, who's the bitch? I not a bitch!" Ammie shouted as she sat up in the bed. She glared at the table lamp. "Mr. Lampy, save me now" Ammie muttered. Jack chuckled nervously. Will glared at her and Jack.
"Let's go find where she went, we don't want her killed by a whore" He said in defense of Jo. Ammie laughed crazily and Jack frowned.
Everyone sat at a stand still for a few moments. Finally Ammie burst out. "LET'S GO SPY!" Jack sniggered and nodded.
"Good idea love"
All three, though Will rather reluctantly, walked out of the room and peeked their head around to see if Jo was there.
Meanwhile...
"You know what dude...you are a good listener." I slurred.
"Why thank ye." The man, named Jose, laughed. "I think ye have had enough."
"Unlike Jack Sparrow sir, I know when to say no." I grabbed another rum and began drinking.
"No more fer her." Jose said to the bar maid in a hushed voice. She nodded.
"But, why is it that I can't be mean to Jack?" I shouted.
"Because he IS Jack Sparrow."
"God, the way you people talk about him...you act as if he is a GOD!"
"Ye really don't like 'im do ya?" Jose asked.
"Dude, don't get me wrong. Jack is sex on legs but...he is also arrogant."
: Meanwhile:
Ammie looked over to Jack in pity. They had heard most of the conversation Jo was holding. "See..." She boasted happily. Will stuck his head in front of Ammie's.
"She's drunk, Jack" Ammie shrugged and walked out to where I was standing. She tapped me on the shoulder.
"C'mon!" I shot her a malicious look. Jack frowned and followed Ammie's lead.
"Who are you?" he threatened the man sitting next to me. Ammie signaled for him to stop.
"Jack... let Jo have a life..."
"Who are ye?" Jack asked ignoring Ammie.
"Jose Santo's. I am the first mate on the Hells Fire." He said in a Spanish accent.
"And he is also...a good man." I hiccupped.
"Lass, come on." Jack said trying pull me up. I didn't argue.
"Too lazy." Jack sighed and pulled me out of the chair. We walked away and I almost fell so Jack, reluctantly, picked me up. I waved good bye to Jose.
"Byes."
"G'bye Jo." Jack walked up the stairs, into the room and dropped me on the bed.
"Yes, just drop me hard on the bed like that."
"We were worried?" Ammie said in an unsure tone.
"I bet you were...fool."
"Can we finally get some sleep?" Will asked lying on the bed.
"Sleep is good." Ammie said.
"Sleep is cool and cool is good and good is...good." I said lying down on the bed.
"Night nerdo." Ammie whispered. "Night Cap'n...night Will."
"G'night lass."
"Goodnight Miss Ammie."
"Oh God, now I have to say goodnight." I huffed. "G'night bitch, G'night Jackie poo and G'night Willy."
"Night." They all said. Jack and Ammie had a hint of anger in their voices but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over me.
:x:x:MCR:x:x:
HOWDY! Tis Jo….whoa, I am hyper today! Anywhoooo…aren't I mean? Muhahahaha…cough! Shizah. As you can tell I LOVE My Chemical Romance. GERARD WAY IS BANGABLE!
Jack: Revi…
Ammie: Review savvy?
Jack: (gasps)
Me: (gasps and knocks herself out)