Lost
Season 7 after "Lost City"
Spoilers: "Grace" and "Lost City"
She sat on the couch, a tissue in one hand and a picture frame in the other. She despised hollow victories…and this one had certainly been hollow.
"Sir, even if we find the Lost City of the Ancients…even if we find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet…"
"That…would be worth it."
"It wasn't worth losing you." She said to her empty house.
Dr. Weir had given SG-1 a week's leave to recover from their last feat and to mourn the loss of their leader.
And friend, she thought.
"Come on, Carter. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! We kicked some major Goa'uld butt!"
She looked up from the photograph to find Jack standing across from her.
"Sir, what…how did you…?"
"Honestly, Carter, you didn't think a block of ice could really stop me, did you?" He asked, sitting next to her on the couch.
She leaned up against him, sadly. "You're not really here."
He stroked her hair. "Depends on your definition of real."
A faint smile flitted across her face.
"I told you I would always be here for you, didn't I?" He asked, his arm around her shoulder.
"Yes." She answered, her eyes closing as she tried to savor the moment.
"Samantha," he said, gently. "It's true…no matter what."
Tears began to silently stream down her cheeks. "How do I move on?"
He gently forced her to look up at him. "That's up to you."
Then, he kissed her. It was so tender, and she didn't want it to end.
"Samantha."
She looked into his eyes, melting with each look and sound. "But I've lost my safe bet."
He smiled. "Never."
"Samantha!"
She opened her eyes reluctantly. Jack was gone…if he'd ever really been there. She got up and walked to the door. It was Pete. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She really didn't want to see him right now.
Nevertheless, she opened the door. "Hi Pete."
The grin on his face faded as he looked at her. "Is everything okay?"
She swallowed. "I don't really feel like talking right now."
"Sam, please…you look like someone just died."
"I'll call you." She said, firmly as the lump in her throat rose slowly.
"What? Another boyfriend?" He asked, trying to lighten the mood.
She just turned and walked away. He entered and closed the door.
"Sorry, babe. I was just…come on, Sam. Don't be like this." He said, walking into the living room.
He noticed the photograph on the couch and picked it up. It was the team photo with Cassie and Janet, taken shortly after Cassie's adoption had been finalized.
With picture frame in hand, he went to Sam's bedroom. "You forgot something." He said simply as he came across the sobbing forlorn woman on the bed.
She turned and he handed the photo to her.
"So, what happened?" He asked.
"Our mission didn't go according to plan." She began, looking at the photo.
He waited for her to continue.
"Colonel O'Neill…he didn't make it." She finished.
"Whoa!" He breathed, still not able to swallow the information. "As in your commanding officer, O'Neill?"
She nodded. "Pete, I'm going to be okay, but…" She swallowed. "I just need some time."
He nodded. "Okay…you'll call me if you need anything."
"Yeah."
He left and she caressed the photo. Things had just gotten more confusing since this whole thing started.
She thought back to when he'd been infected with that disease that they had contracted for the Ancient, Ayiana. She had nearly lost him to that…she had nearly lost him to a lot of things.
She scooted back on the bed so that she could lean her back against the headboard with her arms encircling her knees against her chest. She placed her chin on her knees and rocked back and forth slowly.
She had convinced him to take the symbiote; she had been responsible for sending him into the hell that had been his existence as a Tok'ra host. Just like she had let him put his head in that damn repository.
She brushed the hair from her face and closed her eyes.
"So, Anubis wins?" A familiar baritone voice asked.
"No, we won…you won the war for us. I told you that already." She said, still hugging her knees.
"That's not what I'm talking about." He said, leaning against the doorpost.
"Then what are you talking about?" She demanded, looking up at him, the tears streaming down her cheeks.
"You're just giving up? You're just going to be miserable until I thaw out?" He asked, stepping forward.
"Can't I have a few days to grieve without someone making me feel guilty?" She asked, trying to blink back the tears.
"Carter, you can't ignore the rest of your life on the hope that I'll miraculously show up tomorrow to wine and dine you."
She uttered a tiny chuckle. "Since when have you wined and dined, Jack?"
"Oh, I'm just full of surprises." He said, grinning.
"You know what's ironic?" She asked after a moment of silence during which she stared at the bedspread and traced its patterns with her fingers, the tears drying on her cheeks.
"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me."
"You were the one who was there after Daniel died. After Janet died, after Dad almost died…after Martouf, Narim, Orlin, all of them…Now, you're here to help me move on after losing you."
He shrugged. "Like I said, I'm always here for you."
She bit her lip and nodded as tears sprang to her eyes once more.
"I love you." He whispered before disappearing.
"I love you too." She admitted to the emptiness that loomed all around her. Maybe someday, she would be able to look around her and find something besides loneliness, emptiness, and pain. Maybe she would find love.
Again, another one-shot...sorry! Hope you enjoyed this one...well, enjoy might not be the right word, maybe...was touched?