Here's a letter for anyone who's supported me, as well as my thoughts on FF-ANBU. I thought you'd all like to read it. I had considered the thought of leaving fanfiction and fanart, but I decided against it, just to let you guys know that I'm back and better then ever.

This fanfic WILL be remade to make logical sense, so stick around ItaKaka fans

I know you probably already got my reply from DA, but I decided to write you. I wrote a couple of other people too. I have gotten several comments and letters telling me not to leave, but I feel very low right now.

It's probably pretty weak of me, considering I've been so defiant about it in my career as a fanfic writer, but I guess I've finally cracked. No one likes being hated or flamed and stuff happens, but I just can't take a lot of stuff that's been going on in my life. I got insult added to injury today when my favorite pet turkey died. I haven't been doing much but moping around and sleeping.

I guess I just thought I was a great fanfiction writer who wrote fanfics that people liked…and I know that you can't please all of the people all of the time. I even encouraged and have been supportive to others who felt the same way as I do now.

I know I should probably suck it up, and not let it get to me, but it's so hard to do. What really disturbed me is that everyone there thought it was so great that I got flamed like that. They even linked it from their own lj's.

I guess you never think it's going to happen to you that bad unless it does. When I got the review that I was reviewed by that particular lj community, I had a bad feeling, and I didn't even really want to go and look at it, but I did, since I was curious…

Curiosity kills…

And it has killed me…

Oh well…

Gee, it kinda feels like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I have successfully sounded like an EMO child…Joy of joys…

My friend's have been talking to me, but I really don't want to bring it up to them. They've got better things to do then listen to me whine about a fanfic. I'm thinking about just removing the other one shot that they flamed to death. I know I made mistakes in it, but I don't have a beta reader for my stories in that category of anime.

I know that anyone who gets their sick kicks in creating and posting in a lj community solely committed to bashing others fanfiction is a product of their own inferiority complex and they must not like something about themselves and must have a pretty negative opinion on themselves if they have to knock others down to make themselves look good like that.

One of the members said they had a physics degree. Well, shouldn't they be doing something a bit more constructive with their lives then flaming others fanfiction? If it's such a great feat, then why do you need to bash others to make yourself feel better?

Sorry but there's something psychologically wrong with them, in my opinion.

Not everyone writes great fanfiction, and it's up to you to choose what you read. Making hate groups such as that and the others affiliated with it just shows ignorance and self-absorbency as well as shows the world how insecure in yourself you are.

If you get kicks out of it, you're just as bad.

I honestly think that people like them and their affiliates give the fandom of that series a bad name. (I mean what fandom bashes it's other fans? That's just sad. Fandom is supposed to stick together.)

Is it really so bad to like a pairing in which the characters are 10 years apart? When you think about it, some canon pairings are like that. People who pair KakaXSaku have to admit that they are at least 10 years apart (from my current knowledge, which could be slipping me at the moment) They say the perfect x-amount of years for understanding is 10 in a relationship.

Does that make me a pedophile? Not really. I'm just making a point.

I also couldn't help but notice that most of their flaming was of the couple I was supportive of. To tell the truth, they didn't like the others I was supportive of either. What part of 'don't read it if you don't like it' do people not seem to understand?

What? You have a physics degree and you can't either A. read or B. comprehend? Or it could be C. never learned common sense?

They said that they pitied college days because I'm 20, well if college makes you ignorant like them, I suppose they're 1. a hypocrite and 2. only repenting for themselves.

It must be sad to live in the shadows and hide in the cracks, protecting themselves behind a group of henchmen who are equally low (if not lower).

They also made a little statement that just points to the fact that they don't like fanfiction in general by saying that the author or the series would never pair the characters. First off, like they would pair any characters they like either. Second off its called FANFICTION, gee Mrs. I Gots a Physics Degree (durh…) needs to learn the meaning of fanfiction. It's not about what the author 'would or would not' pair, it's about what the fan's like.

Again I repeat, for the deaf, stubborn or hard of hearing – don't like don't read.

Of course it won't ever really happen, but it doesn't mean that we wouldn't like it if it did. Like those who like Sakura with Kakashi or Gaara, obviously Kishimoto wasn't going to pair them together, or he would have, but that doesn't mean that we can't do it within the depths of our own imagination.

Imagination is what fanfiction is all about.

They also seemed to be against shounen-ai, erm I post warnings people. Again, the idiocy comes crawling fourth from the ass crack of fandom. Just because I don't like a couple, doesn't mean I'm going to go around, searching for a – let's say KakashiXIruka fanfic and just bash the crap out of every tiny little mistake that the author makes, come on? How big do you feel? Especially since everyone has written bad fanfiction before.

I mean, seriously, if you don't like the pairings, then why are you reading it? You masochist, you. Hmpf, you know no one truly cares of your opinion. Everyone forgets the meaning of words or often times uses the wrong one to describe things with.

The 'Wind Demons' comment was symbolism, jackasses of the world who could never understand the simple concept of SYMBOLISM. I do use symbolism in my fanfiction. Let me explain it for the stupid people of the world. There are no "wind demons" I wrote the air around Kakashi to be presented in an opponent type of way, but gee I guess if you read the fanfic you'd know that, wouldn't you?

To explain things further, you think I have an eye fetish, lol, you people kill me. I did mention that a lot but it was for the suspense factor. I did say this fanfic was a first for me, didn't I? Who could've guessed a first that was bad? Aren't they usually bad? I always thought they were.

When I wrote this, I barely knew anything about Itachi, seeing as I had not watched the series in over a month, so I had a basic idea of his character, but going back and watching past episodes (plus the new ones that I had missed) I realized how horribly wrong I had been about a lot of stuff.

It's called EXPERIMENTAL fanfiction. You act like you people have never written bad fanfiction in your life.

I'm sure everyone had those few fanfics that you've written, that you go back and look at that make you want to puke.

Also, I am only on the second manga (Shounen Jump translated version) though I own up to volume 6, not everyone in the fandom is at the same level. I have only been into this series for a year, give me a break.

We are all human, thus we all make mistakes, even the most edited book has errors, and might I add just because you have a physics degree, doesn't mean that you know how to use it.

TO MY FANS: Thank you so much for your uplifting and lovely compliments. Without you all, I don't know where I'd be now. Thank you for pulling me up when I was down and giving me hope and inspiration. You are truly friends, and I wanted to thank you all for being supportive!

I'm not giving up; I'm simply brushing myself off and getting back up. It only makes you stronger, right? smiles

They said all of my fics are ANBU worthy, well I don't think they've read 80 something fanfics, and ignorance is to make a decision before actually reading through the facts. You passed college how, again?

Wouldn't it be nice if I had Naruto's attitude? God, I wish I was that upbeat about things. Guess that's why I admire Naruto at times.

Besides, it seems like these people at 'FFANBU' (give even the ruthless killers of ANBU a bad name, in my opinion. How dare they have the name of ANBU?) are cynical about EVERYTHING and make rash and immature decisions about everything and these people are how old? Come on, get a life FF ANBU. No one is impressed by what you do, several people who support my fanfiction and art have posted lj's about them and why they should exist (they shouldn't).

Maybe I should post all of this stuff in my journal at DA…

I've ranted for three pages now, so I'll just leave it at that. You know, I feel a bit better now; maybe I just needed to let out some frustration.

Melissa