The Sanzo Incident II
By NellySama
A/N: Bwahahaha! Sorry about the shortness of the second chapter! Teehee! I'm not mixing movie plots, Oh no, that's just a figment of your infatuation!
To: One of my reviewers: No, I wasn't drinking when I wrote the 2nd chapter, I'm too young fer that!
Disclaimer: I own not Saiyuki, or the Wizard of Oz, but I do own this odd plot, and the song, "We're off to see the Monkey!"
A/N: And so on, we continue with the chapter. Mind, you, yes, you. This one will be a long one. Oh yeah some language!
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Chapter 3: Lord of the Paperclips – the monkey of Id-
Previously…(where we left off)… Hakkai, Gojyo, and Sanzo lost Goku, who is the 'paperclip' they need, so now they are frantically searching the forest for Goku.
Hakkai: -at the top of his lungs- GOKUU! WHERE ART THOU!
Gojyo: Paperrrcliip! Paperclip! Come out, come out where ever you are!
Suddenly they hear a soft sobbing noise, coming from somewhere behind them. Gojyo and Hakkai look around.
Gojyo: Paperclip? Is that you?
Hakkai: -shakes his head- Mah, Gojyo, its not Goku.
Gojyo: Huh? Fwa? –suddenly forms an speech impediment- Twat Twou twean twits twot Twoku? –stare- (trans: What do you mean its not Goku?)
Hakkai: Well… No da! Look! –points-
Hakkai was pointing at Sanzo, who was silently crying. Both stared at him like he's crazy.
Sanzo: -sniffle- Nani? –sniff- Can't I cry! –bawls- WHY CAN'T I CRY! –breaks down in Gojyo's arms- WHYYY!
Gojyo: Sssh! Sssh! –pets- Twits twokay! Twits Twokay! (trans: Its Okay! Its Okay!)
Hakkai: That's right, We'll find your Goku..paperclip..coconut..thing…-smiles-
Gojyo: -hiss- Twat Twou two twow? Twou two twafing! (trans: What do you know? You know nothing!)
Hakkai: -shock- What? Wha? What did I do!
Gojyo and Sanzo glare at Hakkai, who is utterly confused. Gojyo's impediment disappears!
Sanzo: -still crying- He's right! Fat hobbit knows nothing about my dear Coconut!
Gojyo: Get out of here! –turns to Sanzo- What's a Hobbit?
Silence…
Sanzo: Uhh, Heck if I know. –blink blink- Let's get out of here! –hooks his arms through Hakkai and Gojyo's arms- Lets be off then!
Hakkai: Where are we going? –pause- Ohh! I know!
Gojyo: Yeah! We're going to find the Goku..paperclip..coconut..thing…right?
Sanzo: Huzzah! And we're Off!
And the three skip merrily through the forest, singing;
"We're off to see the Monkey!
The wonderful Monkey of Id!"
Over and over again. Now we turn the lens back on our Little Goku, who, is currently still paperclip sized and is trying to climb on the back of a gigantic turtle! Lets see what happens! Goku no longer speaks in squeaks!
Goku: UGGH! NGGGAA! –jumps up and down, trying to grab hold of the turtle shell. The turtle is sleeping.- C'mon arms reach! Reach! You can do it! –sudden vision of the Geico commercial with the creepy exercise man- GASP! EEEEK! –runs away from the turtle, screaming- NO MOMMY DON'T LET HIM TAKE MY TOESIES! NOOOO!
Goku trips over a huge log (a stick on the ground) and rolls into a flower patch.
Goku: WHEEEEEE! LOOKIT DA PRETTY FLOWERS! –rolls into a flower stem- OWIE! –climbs up the stem and sits on top of the flower, which turns out to be a daisy- Wowwww! –looks out at the vast sea of flowers- Wait… if there are flowers….then that means…
Just then, a loud buzzing sound comes up behind Goku, who sits stiff, not wanting to turn around, but does anyway.
Goku –turns slowly, eyes widen in terror- Oh my… HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS THAT! –shrieks- GET AWAY FROM ME!
Freakishly Humongous Giant Hornet: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ –glare-
Goku: GET AWAY! –backs up to the edge of the flower-
FHGH: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! –glares and moves in closer-
Goku: -its about to eat him- NOO NO NOO! SOMEONE HELP MEEE!
WHOOSSSH! A giant hand comes flying out of nowhere and smacking the bee away into the great oblivion! Sanzo's face appears before Goku, who is clinging to the daisy for his life.
Goku: -looks up- SANZO! –jumps on his face and climbs to sit on the top of Sanzo's head- Thank Buddha! HUZZAH!
Sanzo: BREAK OUT THE CABBAGE! –cheers and walks out of the flower patch-
Goku: Hey! Where's Gojyo and Hakkai?
Sanzo: Ohh they're around here somewhere… -looks around, and points to a tree- They're up there!
Goku: OOMPA LOOMPA! How'd they get up there? Its soooo big and tall! –stares upward-
Sanzo: Ch! No da! A dog came out of nowhere and thought they were cats and chased them up the tree! Mean ol' doggie! –pouts-
Gojyo and Hakkai fall from the tree, landing on all fours, just like cats! Sanzo squeals with glee and his eyes sparkle.
Sanzo: OMIGOSH! KITTIES! Lookie here, Oh Monkey of Id! Kittens! –starts petting Gojyo and Hakkai-
POOF Gojyo and Hakkai turn into white fluffy kittens! Sanzo can't take it!
Sanzo: KITTTIES! MY KITTIES ALL MINE!
Goku: Whee! GIANT KITTIES! YAY!
Sanzo: -starts sneezing uncontrollably- AACHOO AAAACHOOO!
Goku: A shoe? Where!
Hakkai and Gojyo turn back and Sanzo stops sneezing.
Hakkai: There's the shoe! –points to Gojyo's boot- Give it here! The Monkey of Id wants it!
(try to figure out which guy is which Wizard of Oz character! Really easy!)
Sanzo: Yeah! Give it to 'im! C'mon, C'monnn! –Gojyo glares- EEEK!
Gojyo: -grabs his chest and falls over- ACK MY HEART! I have no heart! Woe is me!
Goku: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! –green flames appear- I am the great Monkey of Id! BWAHAHHA BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! (no longer small)
Sanzo: NOOO DON'T HURT MEE! –Hides behind Hakkai-
Hakkai: Get off me you fool and give me those shoes! Do it! Do it now! –shoes are given to him, and a Hakuryu appears and turns into the jeep and Hakkai hops in- KUKUKUKU! I'll get you my pretty! And Your Little Coconut too! –points to Sanzo-
BAMMMM! The ground and explodes and Hakkai is flying off in the jeep laughing like crazy, throwing rocks at them.
Gojyo: LOOK OUT! –jumps on Sanzo-
Goku: Hey what the hell do you think you're doing! HE'S MINE DAMMIT! –kicks Gojyo in the face- BACK OFF THE SANZO!
Sanzo: -unconscious- ….. guhhghgh… -gurgles-
Gojyo: Since when is Sanzo yours!
Goku: Since forever you dumbass! And that's THE Sanzo to you, you filthy cockroach!
Gojyo: -glare, tears in is eyes- YOU MEANIE! –runs off bawling- WHYYY WHYYYYY!
Goku: -smirk- BWAHAHAHAHAH! OH yeah. I'm good. Who da man!
Sanzo: -wakes up- Not you! –gets an idea and a light bulb forms over his head- Hey!... What the heck? –grabs the bulb and stares at it-
Goku: What is that?
Sanzo: A thing…
Goku: Thing?
Sanzo: Yeah, a thing, with stuff that's all glowy and thingish.
Goku: Well that's just thingerific, ain't it?
Sanzo: Totally thinghizzahae!
Sanzo throws the light bulb away into a trash can and Goku and him walk out of the forest and back to the office. They find Hakkai and Gojyo already there stapling a Rinoa picture to the wall. Then the four all grab staple guns and start shooting them at the poster until it is no more. Then their boss walks in.
Boss: Yo ! Works over for today! Geet home, eh!
Goku- snickers-
Boss: Whozzat? Who snickered?
Sanzo: Snicker bar?
Hakkai: Hot dog I'm hungry!
Gojyo: Hungry? Why wait, eat a Snickers! –eats one, facing the camera-
Goku: Who're ya talking to?
Boss: Your momma!
All cept Goku: OOOH BURRRRRNNN!
And so they all continue to throw back and forth lame sayings until the boss leaves and they all collapse on the floor in a huge pile. And so forth the night doth come!
To be continued….
Wheee! Its long!(1295) Please R & R!
-nellysama