The Sanzo Incident II

By NellySama

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, Rinoa, Tifa, or patti-cakes…and I don't own green Jello. 

A/N: Sankyuus for all the reviews. Well…yuh. Keeps getting randomer and randomer doesn't it? Heck, and I'm sick to. :3, anou… More Rinoa bashing! Let us jump right into it!

Chapter 4: The Lord of the Paper clips - Return of the Rinoa.- and Quest for Hakuryu part 1 – the candy store-

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Nighttime. After many hours of getting 'burned' by the boss, Goku suddenly collapsed. Sanzo went into a panic, Gojyo and Hakkai played Patti cake.

Sanzo: OH GOD! GOKU WAKE UP! –shakes him- WAKE UP DAMN YOU!

Goku: WHO SAID I FAINTED!

Sanzo: I did.

Goku: Really?

Sanzo: Yeah.

Goku: Cool.

Gojyo: -runs over to Sanzo- Daaa—aaad! Mom stole my patti-cake! –points at Hakkai-

Sanzo: Mother!

Hakkai: It's way to late for sweets and you both know it! –shakes finger-

Sanzo: You didn't have to steal it! –inches away from Hakkai-

Hakkai: Well I did! So there! –sits down in the office chair- AUGH! –starts sobbing-

Goku: OOOOOOH! Dad mad Mom cry!

Gojyo: Meanie Head!

Gojyo is now giving Goku and piggy-back ride, whilist Sanzo tries to comfort Hakkai, who is crying furiously in his arms.

Hakkai: You all hate me don't you!

Sanzo: No, no, no! Its not like that at all! –thinks for a moment-

Hakkai: -sniffle- Then…what is it like?

Sanzo: -quick thinking- Uhh.. We all love you soooo much that it looks like we hate you. –smile-

Hakkai: It only seems?

Sanzo: Yeah.

Hakkai: So when all y'all say those mean things, (mostly you), its your way of showing affection for your wife?

Sanzo: yes, dammit! –hugs Hakkai-

Goku & Gojyo: EWWWWWWWWW Hugging! GROSS! –both giggle like little school girls-

Sanzo: HEY! –stares at Gojyo-

Before Gojyo can respond the door slams open, and Rinoa is standing there with no traces of stapler wounds anywhere. They all stare at her.

Hakkai: YOU! We killed you!

Goku: Well I never!

Rinoa: You'll never defeat me! –throws a penny at Sanzo-

Sanzo: OW!

Gojyo: -gasp- You hit dad!

Rinoa: Bring it!

Then they all commenced in an all out war to kill Rinoa. They beat her with the tape dispenser until she died again. Then, they wrapped her body in packing tape and were about to throw her out the window for good, Tifa walked in. They dropped the corpse.

Gojyo: Who're you!

Goku: NEVER! –hides under the office desk-

Tifa: Is she dead? –kicks Rinoa-

Sanzo: No, she's just sleeping.

Tifa: Well, I'll be taking this, then. –picks up the corpse and walks out-

Hakkai: Where's she going?

Goku: To the window!

They all huddle around the window and look down to see Tifa dropping Rinoa on the sidewalk. Tifa pulls out a gallon of gasoline and squirts it all over and around Rinoa, then light a match and then. FWOM! Tifa laughs maniacally and walks away screaming…

Tifa: HE'S MINE ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHA! I'm coming for you Leon! –runs off-

The guys all stare in wonder until Tifa disappears into the sun. Sanzo attempts to hug the wall.

Sanzo: Dammit! Why wont you hug! –is flat against the wall-

Hakkai: Maybe the wall doesn't love you!

Goku: How can you not love The Sanzo?

Gojyo: I know!

Goku: How?

Gojyo: By hating him!

Hakkai: Aha! Bring out the celebration Jello!

Sanzo runs out of the office and into the lounge and tackles the refrigerator. The boss walks in.

Boss: Didn't I tell you all to geet home? Works over for today.

Sanzo: We're taking the night shift today! –holding a tub of jello-

Boss: What ever fer?

Sanzo: To throw the paperclip into the celebration jello. –shoves it into the Boss's face- See? Its green.

Boss: You all are weird. I'm going to stay and watch you tonight.

Goku suddenly runs in the lounge and tackles Sanzo unconscious, and begins to drag him away, glaring at the boss.

Goku: Trying to steal The Sanzo eh? I'm watching you! He's mine! –bares teeth-

Boss: -backs into a corner- Eeek!

Goku leaves and locks the door, and drags Sanzo back to his office. Hakkai and Gojyo are river dancing.

Gojyo: Huzzah! The monkey of Id doth returns!

Hakkai: Doth? –takes the jello from Sanzo's unconscious body and stirs it with a spork-

Gojyo: Doth sounded cool, okay?

Goku: No! Not okay! –drops Sanzo and jumps into the spinning chair- JELLO!

Sanzo: gugughhh…. –drools-

Gojyo: Aww lookit da baby! Koochi coo! –pokes Sanzo-

Hakkai: Your father isn't a baby! You're grounded! –smacks Gojyo-

Goku: OOOOH! You're grounded! OOOOOOOH! –taunts, while eating the Jello-

Gojyo: I'll ground you, ya stupid monkey! –chases Goku around the room, and gets tripped by the now awake Sanzo-

Sanzo: Quit chasing my coconut, dammit! –tries hugging the wall again-

Hakkai: I don't think the wall will let you hug it, Sanzo. Try hugging the chair? –points to the chair- If the chair doesn't hug back, something is terribly wrong with you. Either that, or inanimate objects can't hug animate objects. –they all stare at him- Uhh.. just thinking out loud. –smiles-

Goku thinks for a minute then jumps on Hakkai's back.

Goku: Hey, Hakkai! Where's Hakuryu?

Hakkai: Heck if I know.

Gojyo: I haven't seen that little bugger in a while…

Sanzo: Goku sold him for beef jerky. –tattletale-

Hakkai: What! –glares at Goku-

Goku: What? I was hungry! –whines, still on his back-

Gojyo: Welp, I guess we better head out on a dangerous adventure to find the person who bought the jeep! –jumps out the window- WHEEEEEE!

Sanzo & Hakkai: -standing over the window ledge- FREAK!

Goku: -looks down- ACK! Too high!

Sanzo: What your problem?

Hakkai: Are you afraid of heights Goku? –takes Goku of his back and puts him on Sanzo's back-

Goku: -clings- YES!

Goku screams bloody murder as Sanzo and Hakkai leap from the window and land in the back of the truck Gojyo found. They all pile inside the truck, Hakkai kicking Gojyo out of the driver seat.

Hakkai: Are we all buckled in? –turns and looks around-

Sanzo: No, Goku's not. –points-

Goku: Stupid car seat!

Hakkai: Gojyo be a dear and buckle in Goku?

Gojyo: Is there a reward for it? –stare-

Sanzo: Yeah, you wont get grounded for a another 5 years.

Gojyo shrieks and quickly buckles Goku and Hakkai drives off down the street. Sanzo rolls down his window and stares at the people on the sidewalk. He spots a man wearing a white lab coat walking into a veterinary hospital.

Sanzo: STOP THE CAR! –braces himself-

Hakkai: OKAY! –slams on the brakes and Gojyo flies into the windshield-

Gojyo: Ow… -climbs back to his spot-

Goku: -looks around- Where are we? Are we at the candy store?

Sanzo: -liar- Yes. C'mon Goku, lets go!

Sanzo gets Goku out of his car seat and puts a collar and leash on him. Hakkai and Gojyo watch sadly as Sanzo and Goku ascend the steps into the vets office. They sit there for about 20 minutes in silence. Suddenly they hear a scream, Goku's scream, and him and Sanzo running out the door.

Goku: DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME SANZO! –leaps into the car, Sanzo following-

Hakkai: -steps on the gas- What was that all about?

Sanzo: I was going to see if anyone took Hakuryu to the vet. I took Goku with me so I could get in but…

Gojyo: But what?

Goku: -bawling- When we walked into the office I had to get a check up and then… and then… they tried to fix me! I don't need to be fixed! It's Gojyo! –bangs his head against the window-

Hakkai: Oh dear. Why don't we all get ice cream, so we can think of where to find Hakuryu?

Goku: As long as its not the Candy store. –glares at Sanzo-

And they drive off into the sunset to the nearest ice cream parlor.

--- End Chapter 4!---

A/N: Woot there it is. Weird, eh? Oh yes, I'm going to try and write a fanfic about how Hakkai got Hakuryu. One-shot. It will be funny, hopefully. I think this story will have at least 2 more chapters, what do you think? I have to get brain storming for this fanfic my friend and I are going to co-write. FFX and FFX-2 crossover.

Anyway… please review and please give suggestions as to where they will find Hakuryu! Poor Goku…

Ja ne! NellySama